Monday morning I woke up to my alarm with a smile already on my face.
The photo strip from yesterday was pinned to my cork board, and seeing it first thing reminded me of cherry blossoms and hand-holding and the way Bok-Jin had looked at me like I was something precious.
Min-Ji was already up, making coffee in the kitchen.
"You're chipper this morning," she observed.
"It's a nice day."
"It's 5:30 AM and you have running club in the cold. Nothing about this is nice."
"I'm choosing optimism."
"Who are you and what have you done with Ji-Mang?"
I grabbed my coffee and smiled. "Character growth. It's a thing."
"Apparently."
Running club felt different in a way I couldn't quite articulate.
Bok-Jin and I hadn't texted much yesterday evening—both of us had studying to do—but when I arrived at the meeting point and he looked up and smiled, something warm settled in my chest.
"Morning," he said.
"Morning. Sleep well?"
"Eventually. Kept thinking about cherry blossoms."
"They were nice cherry blossoms."
"They really were."
We were talking in code and we both knew it, but neither of us cared.
During warm-ups, Ji-Yeon bounced over to me. "Unnie! Thank you so much for helping me last week. I got an A on my Legal Writing assignment!"
"That's great! See? You just needed to organize your thoughts better."
"I couldn't have done it without you. If you ever need help with anything, let me know! I'm useless at law stuff but I'm great at finding the best cheap food around campus."
"I'll keep that in mind."
As we started running, Bok-Jin fell into pace beside me as always.
"You're really good with her," he observed. "Ji-Yeon. She clearly looks up to you."
"She just needed someone to believe she could do it. That's not hard."
"It's harder than you think. Most people don't bother."
We ran in comfortable silence for a while, finding our rhythm. The morning was crisp and clear, perfect running weather, and I felt strong. Healthy. Like my body had finally forgiven me for the weeks of abuse.
"So," Bok-Jin said as we rounded the library, "what does your week look like?"
"Insane. Classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. Library shift every afternoon. LEET study group Tuesday, Thursday evenings and Saturday morning. Constitutional Law paper somehow squeezing in there."
"When do you sleep?"
"That's what Sunday is for."
"You can't survive on one day of sleep per week."
"Watch me."
He shook his head, but he was smiling. "Want help with your paper? I'm obviously not a legal expert, but I can proofread, be a sounding board, whatever you need."
"You have your own work."
"I also have time management skills and a desire to be helpful. Let me help."
I thought about it. The old me would have refused—would have insisted on doing everything alone, would have seen accepting help as weakness.
The new me was trying to be smarter than that.
"Okay. Yeah. That would actually be really helpful."
"Good. When?"
"Wednesday evening? After running club? We could meet at the library, find a study room."
"Wednesday evening works. It's a date."
He said it casually, then seemed to realize what he'd said. "I mean—not a date date. A study date. Friend date. Academic collaboration date."
"You're overthinking this."
"I'm appropriately thinking this."
"It's fine. Study date. I got it."
We finished the run and did our cooldowns, and I caught Min-Ji watching us with an insufferable knowing expression.
"What?" I asked when Bok-Jin had left for his morning class.
"Nothing. Just observing the Ji-Mang romance arc progressing beautifully."
"We're taking it slow."
"You're taking it slow while making heart eyes at each other. It's adorable and slightly nauseating."
"I'm not making heart eyes."
"You absolutely are. But it's fine. You've earned it."
My Monday classes were productive. Constitutional Law covered judicial review of agency rulemaking—directly relevant to my paper topic. I took detailed notes, asked questions, and felt engaged in a way I hadn't been able to when I was just surviving.
After class, Seung-Ho cornered me in the hallway.
"Han Ji-Mang. You're looking remarkably un-exhausted lately."
"Thanks, Seung-Ho. Your concern for my wellbeing is touching."
"I'm just saying, whatever crisis you were having seems to have resolved itself. Good for you."
"Was there a point to this conversation?"
"Actually, yes. Professor Kwon mentioned you're working on environmental agency review for your paper. That's my topic too. Want to study together? Compare notes?"
I stared at him, suspicious. Seung-Ho didn't offer help without ulterior motives.
"Why would you want to study together?"
"Because we're both top students working on similar topics. It makes sense to collaborate. Unless you're too proud to work with someone from a 'privileged background.'" He said it lightly, but there was an edge.
"I don't have a problem with your background. I have a problem with your personality."
"Fair. I can be an asshole. But I'm also smart, and you're smart, and we could both benefit from challenging each other's arguments."
He had a point. As much as I disliked him, he was sharp. And having someone critique my thesis would make it stronger.
"Fine. But ground rules: no personal commentary, no condescension, strictly academic."
"Deal."
"Library, Thursday at 5? I have LEET prep at 6 so we have an hour."
"I'll be there."
He walked away, and I stood there slightly confused. Seung-Ho being cooperative was unsettling. But if he was genuine about wanting to collaborate academically, I'd take the help.
Tuesday evening LEET study group was intense.
Professor Jung had reviewed our diagnostic tests and was now drilling us on our weaknesses. Mine was apparently logical reasoning—specifically, identifying flawed argumentation patterns.
"Ms. Han, what's the flaw in this argument?" She projected a practice question on the board.
I read through it, identified what I thought was the issue. "The author assumes correlation implies causation. Just because two things happen together doesn't mean one causes the other."
"Correct. Mr. Park, next question."
We worked through dozens of problems, each one chipping away at the test's patterns. By 9 PM my brain was fried but I felt sharper.
Su-Jin caught up with me as we left. "Want to grab food? I'm starving."
"Yeah, sure."
We ended up at a late-night kimbap place with Tae-Min and Min-Seo. We ordered too much food and complained about LEET while actually strategizing.
"I'm terrible at the essay section," Min-Seo admitted. "I can argue verbally but putting it in writing in 30 minutes? Nightmare."
"You need a template," I said. "Introduction with clear thesis, three body paragraphs each addressing a different aspect, conclusion that doesn't just repeat the thesis. Practice writing the same structure until it's automatic."
"That actually makes sense. Can you send me examples?"
"Yeah, I'll email you some."
This was what I'd been missing—actual academic community. People who understood the pressure and could help each other instead of competing destructively.
My phone buzzed.
Bok-Jin: How was LEET prep?
Me: Exhausting but good. Currently eating kimbap with study partners.
Bok-Jin: Look at you, having a social life.
Me: I'm as surprised as you are.
Bok-Jin: I'm proud of you.
Me: For eating kimbap?
Bok-Jin: For everything. Sleep well.
Me: You too.
I set my phone down with a stupid smile, and Su-Jin noticed.
"Boyfriend?" she asked.
"No. Maybe. It's complicated."
"Complicated is code for 'yes but we're not official yet,'" Tae-Min said.
"When did you become a relationship expert?"
"I watch a lot of dramas. I know things."
We stayed until almost 11, talking about law schools and career goals and the general insanity of trying to get into legal education. By the time I got home, I was exhausted but content.
Wednesday morning running club, Bok-Jin and I ran together as usual.
"Still on for tonight?" he asked.
"Yeah. Library study room 4B at 7?"
"I'll be there."
"Bringing your excellent proofreading skills?"
"And my charming personality."
"One of those will be useful."
He laughed, and I loved the sound of it.
After running club, I had classes and my library shift. Around 4 PM, Ji-Won asked me about the paper I'd been working on during slow moments.
"How's it coming?"
"Slowly. I have the research, I just need to organize it into a coherent argument."
"What's your thesis?"
"That courts should apply heightened scrutiny to environmental agency decisions involving irreversible harm, rather than the current deferential standard."
"That sounds complicated."
"It is. But it's important. If agencies can make decisions that permanently destroy ecosystems with minimal judicial oversight, that's a huge problem."
"You're really passionate about this stuff."
"Yeah. I guess I am."
It was true. Somewhere in the process of researching this paper, I'd gotten genuinely interested in environmental law. The intersection of science, policy, and legal standards. The real-world impact of judicial decisions.
Maybe this was what I wanted to focus on. Not just law in abstract, but environmental law specifically. Using legal tools to protect things that couldn't protect themselves.
At 7 PM I was in study room 4B with my laptop, notes, and a first draft that I was pretty sure was garbage.
Bok-Jin arrived at 7:05 with coffee and snacks.
"You brought provisions?"
"Study sessions require fuel. It's a law of nature."
"I'm studying law. I should know if that's actually a law."
"It's a law of Bok-Jin nature. Equally binding."
He sat across from me and pulled out his laptop. "Okay, show me what you have."
I pulled up my draft and slid my laptop toward him. "It's rough. Very rough. Don't judge me."
"I would never judge your academic work. Your life choices, maybe. But not your work."
He read through my introduction, and I tried not to fidget nervously.
"This is actually really good," he said after a few minutes. "Your thesis is clear, your roadmap is solid. The writing is dense but that's probably appropriate for the audience."
"Really?"
"Really. You're overthinking this. Your argument is strong."
We spent the next hour going through the paper section by section. He asked questions that forced me to clarify my reasoning, pointed out places where I was assuming too much knowledge, and caught several typos I'd missed.
It was... nice. Working together like this. His business perspective actually helped—he thought about practical implementation in ways I hadn't considered.
"Okay, what about this section on cost-benefit analysis?" I asked. "Am I being too aggressive in dismissing it?"
"Maybe a little. You could acknowledge its utility in some contexts while explaining why it's insufficient for irreversible environmental harm."
"That's good. That's actually really good."
"I have my moments."
Around 8:30, we'd made significant progress on the paper. I closed my laptop with satisfaction.
"Thank you. Seriously. This helped a lot."
"Anytime. I like seeing you in your element. You get this look when you're arguing legal theory—like you're ready to fight the entire judicial system if necessary."
"That's the goal."
"It's very attractive."
The words hung in the air between us.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "That was—I didn't mean to make it weird."
"It's not weird. It's... nice. Hearing that."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
We packed up our things, and he walked me out of the library. The campus was quiet at night, just a few students hurrying between buildings.
"This was fun," I said. "We should do it again. The studying together thing."
"I'd like that. Though next time it's my turn to stress about an assignment and you can tell me I'm overthinking."
"Deal."
We walked toward my apartment, and I noticed our hands kept almost brushing. Not quite touching, but close. Like we were both aware of the space between us and trying to decide whether to close it.
At my building, we stopped in our usual spot.
"Goodnight, Ji-Mang."
"Goodnight, Bok-Jin."
He hesitated, and for a moment I thought he might kiss me despite his noble declaration from Sunday. But instead he just smiled and walked away.
I went upstairs with a strange mix of relief and disappointment.
When I got to the apartment, Min-Ji was waiting.
"How was the 'study date'?"
"Actually productive. He helped with my paper."
"And? Was there romance? Tension? Did he declare his undying love?"
"We studied. Like adults. Productively."
"That's the most boring answer possible."
"Sorry to disappoint."
But I was smiling as I went to my room, and I'm pretty sure she noticed.