Jerome didn't think. He didn't breathe. He didn't stay for anyone to ask his name, or to hold him, or to comfort him, or to tell him she was gone.
The moment the doctor said the time of death, he walked out of the hospital like someone whose soul had been ripped into pieces.He didn't look at Alisha collapsing to the floor. He didn't look at Kaira's mother screaming like she had lost her mind. He didn't even look back at Kaira's bed.He just walked. Fast,straight,blind.
He didn't remember crossing the road to the construction site.
He didn't remember if he greeted anyone at the gate. But he could remember the first smile Kaira gave him at the gate.
Evening lights were coming on. Workers were packing up. The smell of cement still hung heavy in the air. Dust floated, settling on his skin and shirt, but he didn't even blink.
This was the only place she once looked at with hope.The only place she laughed.The only place she felt like maybe… maybe she could still build herself again.
Jerome walked inside and everything felt wrong.Like she should be there in that exact spot, reading the vacancy board, pretending she wasn't scared… coughing into her handkerchief and hiding it like a crime. Her smile kept haunting him, shredding his heart
He sat down on the cold concrete floor, his back against one of the pillars, and his body suddenly felt so heavy, like gravity was punishing him for not protecting her enough, like it was dragging him down for letting her fall apart while he was busy trying to respect her boundaries.
He pressed his palm against his face and his breath shook violently, gnawing his teeth.
"She didn't even get to study medicine…" he whispered to himself.
Then his voice broke.
"She wanted to become a doctor. She wanted to save people. She wanted to save everybody except herself."
He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. The ache in his chest felt like it was choking him. His heart was painfully aware that the girl who once stood here, afraid but hopeful… was gone.
He reached slowly into his pocket.
He brought out the small folded paper she had given him the day she begged him not to tell Alisha anything.
He thought it was just one of her weird little notebook pages she always wrote random quotes on.He never opened it.Not until now.
With hiis hands shaking, he unfolded it.
Kaira's handwriting was neat. Soft strokes. Thin letters. Trembling but hopeful.
"Jerome,I know I irritate people without meaning to. I know I cling too hard when I'm scared. I know I disappear when I'm hurt because I don't know how to ask for comfort without feeling like a burden.
I don't know how long I have left. I feel like something is wrong inside me, worse than I can explain. If anything happens and I'm not here someday, just know I wasn't trying to die. I was just tired of fighting everything alone.
Please don't hate Alisha. I swear she wasn't trying to be cruel. She was just trying to be free. Some people fear loving wounded people because they think pain is contagious.
I know you care more than you say. And I know you see me more than anybody else did. I don't say it because it scares me… but the days you talk to me are the only days I feel like the world isn't crushing my lungs.
I hope one day I get to breathe without fear.
If I make it out of this, I'll become a doctor. I'll save girls who hide pain behind silence. I'll save the ones like me who are blamed for being sick.
Thank you… for seeing me."
Jerome pressed the letter against his chest and closed his eyes tight as silent tears streamed down.He could feel the weight of every word land like a knife.Every sentence felt like she already knew this would happen.
He leaned forward and placed his forehead on the concrete floor.
"She wasn't weak," he whispered, voice cracking. "She fought more than anybody ever will."
His phone suddenly vibrated but he ignored it.It vibrated again and he brought it out of his pocket.He checked.
Jerome's heart stung so sharply he swallowed hard like trying to force air down his throat with the text messages he read
"I'm sorry. Jerome, I swear if I knew… I never would've treated her that way.Alisha texted but Jerome didn't reply.
He stared at her name on his screen and suddenly felt rage crawling up through his veins.
Where was this softness when Kaira was still alive?
Where was this sudden tenderness when Kaira cried and hid blood like it was shame?
He turned off his phone.He didn't want anyone to speak to him tonight.
"She didn't deserve this world," he murmured crying loudly. He couldn't hide it anymore.
And for the first time… the rage hit him viciously, deep in the gut.Like something violent.Like something personal.
Because Kaira didn't die because she was sick.She died because she was unsupported.She died because society only accepts strong girls and calls the weak ones dramatic.She died because the world only claps for success but never checks on silent battles.She died because everyone waited until she collapsed before remembering she mattered.He clenched his fists until his fingernails bit into his palm.If people had loved her right… she would still be breathing.