Sagittarius Headquarters - Mess Hall
Samuel leaned forward. His voice taking on that smooth, teacher-like quality. Precise. Informative. ENGAGING.
"The Raiders are categorized into four threat levels. From lowest to highest: White. Blue. Red. Gold."
Juli leaned in. Listening. Actually INTERESTED now.
"White level Raiders are common criminals. Petty thieves. Disorganized. Easily dealt with by standard units." Samuel held up one finger. "Blue level Raiders are more dangerous. Organized packs. Capable of raiding colonies. Require squad captain attention occasionally."
He held up two fingers. "Red level Raiders are SERIOUS threats. Powerful individuals or well-organized packs. They can challenge squad captains. Cause significant damage. Require coordinated ARMADA response."
Juli's eyes gleamed. "And gold?"
Samuel's smile became dangerous. "Gold level Raiders are... catastrophic. Individuals who rival TITANS in power. Or massive organizations spanning multiple sectors. They are rare. But devastating."
"What level is the Blue Butcher?"
Samuel blinked. "You know of Ragnar?"
"Yeah. Met him. Fought him. Cool guy."
Samuel's eye twitched. Met him? FOUGHT him? COOL GUY?! "The Blue Butcher is classified as Red level. One of the most dangerous solo Raiders in the galaxy."
Juli grinned. Nostalgic. "Wonder how that furry philosopher's doing now."
FURRY PHILOSOPHER?! Samuel's composure cracked slightly. "That's... certainly a unique description of Ragnar the Terror of Verdara."
Samuel collected himself. "Now. There are several Gold level threats I must inform you about. Critical information that every captain should—"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
The mess hall door opened. An android poked its head in. "Captain Barragan. You have a visitor."
Samuel's eye twitched. "Theodore. I'm in the middle of an important lesson."
"The visitor insists it's urgent, Captain."
Samuel sighed. "Very well. Who is it?"
"Captain Seraphina Xistrith of Aquarius Squad."
Juli perked up. "The pretty lady captain?"
Samuel's teeth GRITTED. His lesson. His IMPORTANT lesson. About to be interrupted by—
The doors BURST open. Seraphina glided in. Ethereal. Beautiful. Graceful. Her light blue Aquarius armor flowing like water.
And behind her. An Aquarius officer. Carrying a CAKE. A MASSIVE cake. Easily three feet tall. Ornate. Beautiful. DELICIOUS looking.
The officer was STRUGGLING. Sweating. His arms shaking. Why is this cake so HEAVY?! What did she PUT in this?!
Samuel's smile became STRAINED. "Captain Xistrith. What a... pleasant surprise."
Seraphina ignored him completely. Her eyes locked on Juli. Sparkling. EXCITED.
"Young Julian! I hath completed thy birthday cake!" Her voice was warm. Loving. PROUD. "I baked it myself! With mine own hands! 'Tis the finest cake I have ever crafted!"
Samuel's eye twitched HARDER. "We were in the middle of discussing critical—"
"HUSH, Samuel." Seraphina turned. Glared. "Thy boring lectures can WAIT. The boy's birthday is TOMORROW. This cannot be delayed."
"BORING?! BORING LECTURES?!" Samuel's composure was CRACKING. His teeth audibly grinding.
Seraphina turned back to Juli. Her expression softening. That beautiful smile. "Come, dear child. Taste! Tell me what thou thinkest!"
The officer placed the cake on the table. HEAVILY. Gratefully. Then collapsed in a nearby chair. I need a vacation...
Juli's eyes LOCKED on the cake. His tongue came OUT. Slightly. Like a predator spotting prey.
The SMELL. Oh, the smell. Vanilla. Chocolate. Cream. Fruit. EVERYTHING. Perfectly balanced. Perfectly DIVINE.
His demon instincts kicked in.
Without hesitation. Without CEREMONY. He GRABBED a chunk. With his HAND. Shoved it in his mouth.
Then another. And another. AND ANOTHER.
DEVOURING. Like an animal. Like a DEMON possessed by cake. No manners. No restraint. Just pure, overwhelming CONSUMPTION.
Crumbs everywhere. Frosting on his face. His hands. His HAIR. Complete chaos.
Seraphina watched. Her face LIT UP. Blushing. GLOWING with pride and happiness.
"He... he enjoys it... he LOVES it..." Her voice was barely a whisper. Overwhelmed with emotion.
Samuel stared. Mouth slightly open. Unable to process what he was witnessing.
Is this... is this real? Am I in a simulation? This cannot be reality.
Juli, cake STUFFED in his mouth, both cheeks bulging like a chipmunk, gave a muffled thumbs up.
"Mmmphs ammphing! Ymmm're aweshmmm!"
Translation: "This is amazing! You're awesome!"
Seraphina's face went CRIMSON. Her hand flew to her chest. Her heart POUNDING.
"He... he called me awesome... whilst enjoying my cake..." She looked ready to CRY. Happy tears. Overwhelming joy. "I shall cook MORE! So much more! For my favorite captain!"
Juli swallowed. HARD. Then grinned. Wide. Genuine. "YEAH! More food! You're the BEST!"
Another thumbs up. Still cake in his mouth. Still completely UNDIGNIFIED.
Samuel's brain was SHORT-CIRCUITING.
The youngest captain in history. The RED Titan's step-son. The tournament champion. Is eating cake like a FERAL CHILD. And Captain Seraphina Xistrith, one of the most elegant warriors in ARMADA, is BLUSHING and offering to cook for him like a lovestruck maiden.
This is not real. I am in a simulation. The matrix. A fever dream. SOMETHING.
His green serpent eyes stared. Unblinking. Unable to comprehend.
Seraphina was now LISTING dishes. "I shall make thee stew! And roasted meats! And pastries! And—"
"YES! ALL OF IT!" Juli was practically VIBRATING with excitement.
Samuel's eye twitched. Again. And again. AND AGAIN.
His important lesson. His critical information. His TEACHING.
All ruined by CAKE.
...
Scene Shift - Outer Rim Colony, Juli's House
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
Heavy. Loud. DEMANDING.
Mary walked to the door. Curious. They weren't expecting visitors.
She opened it.
And FROZE.
Standing there. In full Aries Squad armor. All three arms visible. Massive. Imposing. LEGENDARY.
Captain Goldberg. One of the twelve... thirteen now... constellation squad captains.
Holding the Inter-Academy Tournament trophy. That massive, four-foot-tall, glowing, crystallized Resonance masterpiece.
"Uh. Hello. I'm Captain Goldberg. Here to deliver—"
"PIETRO!" Mary's voice cracked. "PIETRO GET DOWN HERE!"
Footsteps. Heavy. Lazy. Casual.
Pietro appeared. Descending the stairs. Wearing PAJAMAS. Bright red pajamas. With little cartoon characters on them. His hair a mess. Clearly just woke up from a nap.
He yawned. Scratched his belly. Looked at the door.
Saw Goldberg.
Blinked.
"Oh. Hey."
Goldberg's jaw DROPPED. All three arms went LIMP.
THE RED-HAIRED TITAN. ONE OF THE FOUR. THE YOUNGEST TITAN IN HISTORY. THE LEGEND. THE HERO.
IS WEARING CARTOON PAJAMAS.
Goldberg's brain stopped functioning. Completely. UTTERLY. Just... BLANK.
Pietro noticed the trophy. His eyes LIT UP. Like a CHILD seeing a new toy.
"OH! THAT'S JULI'S TROPHY!"
He GRABBED it. With both hands. Lifted it. FLEXED it above his head like a bodybuilder.
"MARY! JUNO! LOOK! JULI'S THE CHAMPION! THE CHAAAAAAMPION!"
He started POSING. Flexing. Showing off the trophy like HE'D won it. Completely unselfconscious. Completely CHILDISH.
"ROOOAAAAAR! THAT'S MY BOY! MY SOOOOON!"
Mary appeared. Juno beside her. Both started LAUGHING. Clapping. CELEBRATING with him.
"Look how shiny it is!" Pietro was practically GLOWING. "It's so COOL! My son won THIS!"
He did another pose. Another ROAR.
Then noticed Goldberg still standing there. "Oh! Thanks for delivering it! You're awesome!"
And CLOSED THE DOOR.
In Goldberg's face.
Goldberg stood there. MOTIONLESS. Unable to move. Unable to THINK. Unable to PROCESS.
Did that just happen? Did the RED-HAIRED TITAN just... in PAJAMAS... flexing a TROPHY... like a CHILD... then close the door on me?
What is my LIFE?
Inside the house, Pietro's muffled voice. "JUNO! Take a picture of me with the trophy! I'm sending it to EVERYONE!"
Goldberg remained. A statue. Frozen. His mind completely SHATTERED.
The greatest warrior of the current generation. The youngest Titan in history. The legend who'd saved millions.
Wore cartoon pajamas and flexed his son's trophy like an excited dad at a little league game.
Goldberg's worldview had been DESTROYED. Completely. Utterly. IRREPARABLY.
He stood there. For five more minutes. Just... STARING at the closed door.
Unable to comprehend. Unable to ACCEPT. Unable to MOVE ON.
I need therapy. I need SO MUCH therapy.