I spent a pleasant afternoon with Mike and Ann. We had lunch in the hospital cafeteria after getting consent from the ward nurse, and if not for the institutional surroundings, I think we looked like a normal family out for a bite to eat. Wearing my own clothes, well, at least the ones that were mine now, made life more normal, but at the same time, so different. It was strange having people respond to me as a female instead of a generic patient, and I had to remember to handle my utensils like a lady.
During lunch, I tried to keep our conversation away from the past and talk about the future. Mike and Ann seemed willing to accept that their daughter had some glaring memory gaps, and I suspected that they thought I would never regain all of "my" memories, In fact, they seemed less worried about it than the doctor.
They left after lunch, leaving me with some money to buy myself some books or magazines if I needed them. I thanked them again for the TV. They would never know how handy that TV had been helping me to get my bearings.
I spent the rest of the day reading, waiting for the night shift nurses to come on.
The ward was pretty quiet after nine, and having finished the "Happy Hooker" I was decidedly horny. Since I didn't have to worry about anyone walking in on me and seeing me stroking a hard cock, I felt pretty safe letting my fingers do the walking. But release was not to be mine.
I found myself 'sex wet' as Marcie had said, and inserting a finger into my vagina felt pleasant but not enough to bring me off. I tried to stimulate my clit, but something wasn't working right and no matter how hard or fast I rubbed it, all I did was irritate it and make myself sore. After half an hour of this I gave up in total frustration. I got out of bed to take a leak and was immediately shocked by the pain that seared my cunt!
I had to breathe deep and calm myself. Rationally I knew that this was the result of my own attempts at masturbation. But I liked the feelings I had while in the whirlpool and under the loving hands of Marcie, so why couldn't I do this for myself?
Thankfully I only had to wait another hour before Linda and Julie came on duty. I knew that I could ask them.
Linda did a quick inspection on my crotch after I finished sobbing out the details.
"Oh God, Patti, you've rubbed yourself raw!"
Julie put a comforting hand on my shoulder, "it's supposed to be self loving, honey, not self abuse."
"I can't believe you've forgotten how," said Linda almost forlorn. She sat at the foot of my bed and lit up a cigarette. "Technically we're supposed to notify the doctor of any obvious areas that you can't recall," she said. "But I can't report this. This is too weird. I don't understand this at all. I saw you in the whirlpool and I know you related well with Marcie, but Marcie was trying to help you rediscover which direction your wiring went. We were sure that you leaned or preferred girls, but now... I'm just not sure."
"Linda, we can't report this," said Julie. "Under normal circumstances, as nurses we would never have discovered this. Patti only told us as friends."
"I know," said Linda grinding out her cigarette, "but it's also as a friend that I'm concerned." Turning to me she said, "Don't worry, Patti, we won't mention this to anybody. Let me get you some ointment to put on there so that at least the scalding will go away and it won't hurt to urinate."
Julie rubbed my back with genuine affection and concern as Linda headed off to get something for the burning.
"I don't understand this at all," I said to her. "I was wet, and I was horny. What did I do wrong?"
Julie actually blushed. "Uhm, did you spread your natural lubrication all over the folds of your labia?" she asked.
"Am I supposed to?"
"Wow..." said Julie. "You need to learn all about your body again. You can try it again when the pain is gone, but yeah, you should use lubricant, either your own or something that's not going to attract too much attention if it's seen lying around. And don't be so rough on your clit. There's a reason it has its own protective hood."
"Go slow as well," she continued, "slide your fingers beside the hood and over top of it as you get more moisture. Only when you are really close should you touch it directly and then do it gently. We all have our own ways," she said overcoming her embarrassment. "You'll find what works best for you by experimenting. Try just touching yourself to feel good, not just to climax. That's too much like a man."
"What's too much like a man?" Linda asked coming back into the room.
"Rushing towards an orgasm instead of enjoying all the sensations that come before it," Julie said.
"God, yes," said Linda. "Men get stroking and in a minute they're ready to shoot. When they get their cocks inside of us, they think we're the same and they just start pumping away. Very few of them have the desire or stamina to last long enough to get us past the excited stage. If you find one, hang on to him!" she added with a laugh.
She handed me a tube of cream. "I had to go to the maternity ward to get this," she said, so keep it out of sight. Down there they use it all the time for diaper rash, but if I had asked for it here, Mrs. MacDonald would be asking who needed it."
I promised I would make sure nobody saw it, and then she pulled a small bottle of lotion out of her other pocket. "And this I got from the doctors' lounge. They're constantly washing their hands and that tends to make them dry. This is the best lotion available. All you need is a very little bit to do the trick."
"Julie was just telling me that," I said not realizing that maybe Julie might not want to share this bit of news with Linda.
Linda laughed. "So, I'm not the only one sneaking bottles out of the doctors' lounge at night?"
Julie blushed, and then said, "actually I get mine from the emergency room."
Both girls laughed at that.
Linda asked if I needed help putting the rash cream on, but as much as I would have loved the attention, I said that I could do it myself.
"Okay, we'll come back in an hour to see how you're doing, if you're still awake."