(Nymphadora Tonks)
One week… that's seven days, and I don't know how many hours, math has never been my thing.
But it should be plenty of time.
That's what I told myself on Tuesday morning as I stood inside the Auror Office, staring at my own desk like it had personally betrayed me.
"…Right," I muttered, pacing in place. "You're an Auror. You hunt dark wizards. You infiltrate criminal networks. You once tackled a smuggler mid-apparition."
A pause.
"…And threw up on him," I added.
Still.
Point stands.
I squared my shoulders.
Today was the day.
…
The Ministry (Attempt One)
I spotted him almost immediately.
Of course I did.
He stood out like a golden peacock in a flock of pigeons; perfect robes, perfect posture, smiling like the Ministry existed solely for his benefit.
He was heading down the corridor, probably toward yet another Wizengamot session he'd turn into a performance.
"Gilderoy!" I called.
He turned, his stupidly perfect smile widening just enough to show his bright teeth.
"Tonks! What a delightful coincidence."
Not a coincidence, more like a trap.
For me…
"I need to talk to you," I said, marching up to him.
"Of course," he said smoothly. "You may always talk to me."
Right.
Now.
Do it.
"I'm pregnant…"
Or that's what I intended to say.
What actually came out was, "I'm impressed."
He blinked.
"With?"
"…You," I finished, my soul quietly leaving my body.
He smiled, clearly pleased.
"I do tend to inspire that reaction."
Of course you do…
I nodded rapidly.
"Yes. Very inspiring. Anyway, I have to go."
And then I walked away swiftly, almost tripping.
…
Wednesday - Diagon Alley (Attempt Two)
New plan.
Casual encounter.
Low pressure.
I found him in Flourish and Blotts, signing something for a small crowd like he was born for it.
I waited for the crowd to thin, trying to look normal.
Eventually, he noticed me.
"Tonks!" he called, waving me over like this was all perfectly natural. "Come to admire my literary contributions?"
"I came to talk to you," I said.
"Even better."
This was it, the perfect moment.
"I need to tell you something important," I said.
He leaned in slightly, his blue eyes watching me with rapt attention, almost encouraging.
"Go on."
I took a deep breath, trying my best to steady my beating heart.
"I…"
A witch behind me gasped loudly.
"Oh my, are you Gilderoy Lockhart?"
He turned instantly, all charm and attention.
"I am indeed."
I closed my eyes.
Of course.
Of course someone interrupted us…
Five minutes later, he was still busy being admired, so I left silently.
…
Thursday - The Ministry (Attempt Three)
This time, he actually came to find me at my desk.
I instinctively looked for escape routes, but the only one would require me to jump over the desk, which would surely end with me on my arse. Usually I don't mind a fall or two, but now that I'm carrying another life with me, maybe I should start being more careful…
I looked up at Lockhart, and he was exactly as expected; perfect, composed, entirely too pleased to see me.
"Tonks," he said. "I hope you're having a pleasant morning."
"As pleasant as filling paperwork can be," I answered, "Do you need something?"
He leaned slightly on his staff and struck a pose naturally, almost making me roll my eyes.
"Yes, well, our past few meetings have all been cut short. And yesterday it felt like you had something to tell me before being interrupted."
This is it, the perfect chance to tell him.
Say it.
Just say it.
I opened my mouth.
Then, for reasons that will haunt me forever, I blurted, "Have you ever considered changing your hair?"
He blinked.
I blinked.
"…My hair?" he repeated, touching one of his golden locks.
"Yes!" I said quickly, latching onto the disaster. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it. It's very… hair-like. Just, you know, variety is nice!"
What the hell was I saying?
Why was I always like this?
He tilted his head slightly, looking completely amused.
"I assure you," he said, "my hair has served me quite well. And let me tell you, I have already tried different styles before, so I can say this with full confidence: this is the one that fits me the best."
He shook his head slightly, causing the light to reflect on his hair perfectly.
"I'm sure it is," I said weakly.
I'm such an idiot… Why is it so difficult to say something so simple? All I needed to do was to tell him I'm pregnant, but no, I had to start talking about his hair…
I exhaled and looked directly into his eyes, which made him straighten.
"What's with that look? You seem like you're about to tell me something life-changing. Should I be concerned?"
"You should be," I muttered.
He chuckled.
But I didn't find it funny at all.
"I need to tell you something, and this time it has nothing to do with your hair."
"Then by all means."
Right.
Now.
"I'm…"
My stomach lurched.
Oh no.
No, no, no…
I clamped a hand over my mouth and turned sharply, grabbing the nearest bin just in time and began hurling.
When I finally straightened, pale and miserable, I refused to look at him.
"…I ate something bad," I muttered.
Then I felt his hand rubbing my back, surprisingly gentle.
"Are you quite alright?"
"Yes," I said quickly. "Fine. Perfect. I should go."
And stepping around him, I fled.
Again.
…
Friday - Hogsmeade (Attempt Four)
Right.
New approach.
I knew he spent a fair amount of time at Hogsmeade, because of course he would… So I waited.
And waited.
And finally… There he was, walking toward the Three Broomsticks like he owned the place, which isn't far from the truth, since the owner is one of his fiancées.
I stepped in front of him, blocking his path.
"Tonks," he said, amused. "You do have a talent for appearing unexpectedly."
"I need to tell you something," I said.
"Yes, you've mentioned that."
I ignored that.
"This is important."
"I gathered."
A breath.
Now.
"I'm pregnant."
…
That's what I wish I had told him… but no, I didn't, I just couldn't say it.
"I've been thinking about the future," I said instead.
WHY?!
He raised a brow.
"The future."
"Yes. Hypothetically."
He considered that.
"I do tend to think about it," he said. "Often in quite grand terms."
Of course you do.
I nodded.
"Right. Good. That's… good."
A pause.
Say it.
Say it now.
"I just thought you should…"
"Gilderoy!"
Rosmerta's voice cut through the moment.
I froze.
He turned with a wide smile on his face.
Of course.
"Ah, Rosmerta!"
I closed my eyes.
And when I opened them…
I left.
Again.
…
Saturday - Strategic Avoidance
I did not go to the Ministry and holed up in my rented apartment.
If I did not see him, I could not fail.
Flawless logic.
…
Sunday - The Reckoning
I sat on my bed, staring at the wall.
One week gone, just like that.
I hadn't said it.
Not once.
Not even close.
There was a knock at the door that made me freeze.
"…Come in," I said weakly.
The door opened and Mum stepped in, of course it was her, she's the only one with a key to my apartment.
She looked at me.
I looked at her, feeling my stomach drop.
"Well?" she asked.
I swallowed.
"…Funny story."
Her expression did not change.
"Nymphadora."
I sank further into the bed.
"I tried," I said. "Multiple times! There were… complications."
She crossed her arms and I winced.
"…You're going to Hogwarts, aren't you," I said.
"Yes."
I covered my face with my hands for a moment, then opened them and looked at her with a pleading face.
"…Can't you do it somewhere else, please?"
"No can do," Mum said dryly, "this is supposed to be a punishment, and it wouldn't have the same impact without a bit of public humiliation."
I groaned and slumped back on my bed.
Yep.
This was it.
The end of my life as I knew it.
…