So apparently I am now a walking philosophical hazard.
Like, not even a fun one. Not "ooh mysterious cursed prince," but more like:
> "Do not leave unattended near sharp emotions or reality may collapse."
Which is a terrible label to have.
Tessa, of course, was thrilled.
Lune looked like she was planning my funeral already.
And me? I was trying really hard to act normal while actively not thinking about exploding the universe.
Turns out that's harder than it sounds.
---
Training, But Make It Mortifying
We went to the guild's training hall. It was empty except for a bunch of practice dummies and one poster that said "Believe in Yourself!" in Comic Sans, which felt personally insulting.
Lune stood in front of me with that same calm-but-suffering expression.
"We need to test how stable your connection is," she said.
"Stable," I repeated. "Like how stable I am or how stable he is?"
"Yes," she replied.
Cool. Awesome. Love that clarity.
Tessa, meanwhile, was unpacking something from her bag. Something large. Something metal. Something with straps.
"…what is that," I asked.
"A prototype!" she beamed. "For your face."
"My—"
And then she held it up.
It was… a muzzle.
Like a dog muzzle.
But somehow worse.
It had runes. And gears. And a tiny bell.
"It prevents you from accidentally releasing forbidden cosmic power by opening your mouth without thinking," she said proudly.
"That is the most disrespectful thing I've ever seen."
"Thank you," she said.
I did not say thank you.
---
Step 1: Don't Explode
Lune motioned me to stand in the center of the room.
"Close your eyes," she said.
"Okay," I said, closing my eyes way too fast because following instructions is the one thing I still have going for me.
"Now," she continued, "reach inward. Slowly. Let your awareness approach him—but do not touch."
I tried.
I did.
But the moment I focused inward even a little, the air changed.
The room dimmed.
Sound pulled backward, like it was being swallowed.
Tessa scribbled furiously in her notebook.
> "Note: Reality begins to fold when Rei concentrates. Issue."
Lune's voice echoed like we were underwater.
"Breathe," she murmured.
So I breathed.
And the void inside me stirred.
Like something stretching after a long nap.
A familiar presence leaned close. Not hostile. Not kind. Just there.
> "You're trying very hard," he said inside my head.
amused.
Absolutely amused.
"Could you not," I muttered.
"Who are you talking to?" Tessa asked.
"The ancient cosmic god in my soul," I said.
"Oh," she said. "Cool."
Lune closed her eyes like she was actively reconsidering her life choices.
---
Flashback, But Worse This Time
The world flickered again.
Not the big void this time.
Just a memory.
Not even a clear one.
Rain.
The feeling of running.
A voice calling my name — my old name — before I was Rei.
A warmth. A hand slipping out of mine.
And me thinking:
> If there is anything out there… anyone… I don't want to be small. I don't want to vanish.
Then headlights.
Then—
I snapped back with a gasp.
My hands were glowing.
Glowing.
White-gold. Like star fire but also like—
like something that should not be seen by the human eye.
Tessa: rapid scribbling noises
Lune: "Put the muzzle on him."
Me: "NO—"
Too late.
Tessa slapped the muzzle on my face with the force of someone who has been waiting for this moment.
CLINK.
Straps. Runes. Bell jingles.
I stared at them.
They stared back.
We all took in the moment.
"…I need you both to be extremely aware," I said through gritted teeth, "that I hate everything about this."
The bell jingled again.
Which did not help.
---
Step 2: Accept Humiliation as Character Development
Training continued.
Which is to say:
I tried to summon controlled magic
The universe said "lol no"
Lune yelled "LESS FEELING MORE BREATHING"
Tessa cheered like a soccer coach
The muzzle jingled the whole time
I considered dying
At some point Lune sat down and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"You are… a disaster," she said.
"I know," I said.
"Not metaphorically. A literal disaster. You are a hazard classification."
"I KNOW."
Tessa patted my shoulder.
"It's okay. We've dealt with worse."
"No we have not," Lune said immediately.
---
Then Something New Happened
The presence stirred again.
Not waking this time.
Just… noticing.
Watching.
A voice like shifting constellations:
> "If they fear you, they will try to control you."
I froze.
Lune looked at me sharply.
"What did he say?"
"…nothing helpful."
"Rei."
I swallowed.
"He said… people will try to control me."
Tessa blinked.
"Oh. Yeah. Obviously."
I stared at her.
She shrugged.
"Look, dude, if I found a person who can bend physics by getting emotional, I'd also be like, 'hey maybe we put a collar on that guy.'"
Lune made a pained face.
"That is not what we are doing."
Tessa: "Yet."
Lune: glares
I exhaled.
And the bell jingled.
Which killed all dramatic tension.
---