Getting out of the taxi, Taehyeon is apprehensive. He checked the address several times and Bada has told him every time that it is the right place. He wouldn't really know any better than Taehyeon would but the irritation in his voice must be for an obvious reason. Taehyeon is on edge. There is no way that he couldn't be on edge.
Even now, whilst standing outside the rundown block of flats, Taehyeon remembers the triumph as Minjun came to find him at lunchtime on the day he'd first offered the invitation.
"I worked it out! You can come to my party if it's at lunchtime, right?" Minjun had asked. He went on to explain how his mom was going out of her way to make this all work. It's not like Taehyeon could refuse to come. Now he's here with Bada at his side and he is looking for any excuse to leave.
"I'm going to be sick," Taehyeon says.
"You're going to be okay," Bada mutters. He doesn't look much better than Taehyeon does. Whilst some solid support would be useful, Taehyeon is settled by the fact that he isn't alone in his nervousness. It wouldn't be great if they both threw up everywhere but they might be able to get through this.
Bada is motionless whilst staring up at the walkway on the second floor. Eventually he asks, "Which one do you think is his house?"
Taehyeon knows they are looking at the same expanse of crumbling cladding and weather-faded doors so he isn't sure where this question came from. There is only one of the units on the second floor with balloons pinned to the door and tied to the bars on the window. Taehyeon doesn't have the chance to point out which one it obviously is. The door bursts open and Minjun stands at the balcony and waves down at Taehyeon and Bada.
"Oh, right," Bada whispers. "That one."
Yes. It's that one. Taehyeon can't just keep standing here. He has no choice but to go to this party. The host isn't going to wait for him forever.
Minjun greets the two of them at the top of the dingy, concrete stairs with a wide smile. He hugs far too quickly and tightly and Taehyeon barely regains his breath by the time Minjun has moved on to giving Bada the same treatment. It's a hug, that's all. There's nothing special about it.
Minjun keeps saying he is so excited and glad that they came. Taehyeon mostly thinks Minjun is repeating it because he is trying to get a response. Taehyeon has no idea what to say. In a way he is excited to be here. He also is regretting the fact that Bada convinced him to come here without a present. Minjun had told him not to bring anything in the first place but after asking Bada for a second opinion, Taehyeon has a few regrets.
Taehyeon feels worse inside Minjun's cramped little house. The short corridor on the inside of the door opens into another room where music is playing and people are chattering. The first thing indicating this is a party is the banner Taeri showed him at school. The picture was indistinct at the time but Taehyeon recognises it right away.
The banner is pink in the way that suggests the printer had run out of all but magenta. It's tacked up at the corners as it droops down the wall as though it is encouraging Taehyeon to feel gloomy.
The picture printed at the closest end is an awkward crop of the selfie Minjun took with Taehyeon in the pink muhly field. If Minjun counts this as just looking at the picture, Taehyeon sees they have far different understandings of the world.
The banner itself says 'Happy Birthday'. It isn't Taehyeon's birthday. He shouldn't be in the picture on this banner. And now he is here without any sort of birthday present.
"Minjun—"
"Can I introduce you to my friends?" Minjun asks whilst taking their coats. "Everyone is in the living room. My mom set up a little buffet. I don't really know what you like so hopefully there will be something you'll like. You like sandwiches, don't you? If not, let me know. I can go to the shop and get whatever you want."
Taehyeon doesn't know how to respond to this either. It sounds like this is Taehyeon's party with the way Minjun is going on. That obviously isn't the case and Taehyeon needs to stop being stupid. Minjun is popular and friendly. This is just how popular and friendly people are and that is why everyone likes them so much. Taehyeon doesn't want another reason to like Minjun. He doesn't need another reason.
"Oh, you too, Bada," Minjun says, like he just remembered.
"You don't need to go out of your way," Bada offers.
Minjun smiles, sparkles shining through his eyes. It is a lot to take and Taehyeon knows he isn't even managing to smile back properly. He can't. The boy he likes is too much because he's doing all of this without realising how maddening it all is. Every light and careless touch and every glance give Taehyeon another spark of vain hope. Of course, Taehyeon isn't an idiot. He has been trying his hardest to smother as much of his feelings as Minjun can see. Moments like this, where Minjun is leading Taehyeon into the living room with his hand clasped around Taehyeon's wrist, burn right through the attempts to dampen them with reality.
There are as many familiar people as unfamiliar people in the room where the TV stand, a sofa, and several other large lumps strategically covered with patterned throws and sheets have been pushed up against the wall. The space that remains is fitted out with an assortment of foldaway tables which have been covered with paper tablecloths. Unfortunately there are also a few more banners around but the ink in whatever printer created these things seems to have run out quickly. Maybe nobody else even notices he's the same person from the pictures.
The friends Minjun wants to introduce Taehyeon to aren't as intimidating as anybody at the party after the basketball match. Minjun looks just as happy to tell these two obviously middle school children that this is the new friend he's told them so much about. And Bada is there too.
Taehyeon glances at Kyungran and Nayoon who are looking over the buffet spread. The white paper tablecloth is covered with cartoon animals holding bundles of balloons. Taehyeon doubts the two girls are so engrossed in looking at the characters that they haven't noticed anybody else has arrived. Taeri is there too, she waves and offers a smile. Taehyeon can't help but think about how this is all her fault.
Minjun introduces the middle school children as Eunkwang and Minah. Eunkwang, the boy with youth splotching over his face in red petal bursts, apparently lives in the flat directly below Minjun. There is no explanation about where Minah lives but Taehyeon doesn't think that information is all too important anyway. He is curious about why it is crucial for him to meet these kids.
"I thought you said your friend Taehyeon was the most handsome boy ever," the red-cheeked boy says in the stern way only kids are able to. He's smaller than the girl beside him but Taehyeon also remembers being smaller than every girl he knew when he was in middle school too. He'll grow. Taehyeon mostly hopes this boy doesn't grow any taller. He doesn't deserve to become tall and handsome. Taehyeon doesn't like him much for some reason.
"Is that what I said?" Minjun asks with a grin. Taehyeon hopes this isn't what Minjun actually said. He wouldn't be able to take being apparently Minjun's version of handsome considering how useless that would be.
"It is what you said," the girl says. She has chubby cheeks and is wearing a pink alice band in her sleek, black hair. Taehyeon isn't totally convinced that he should take her word for anything. "That other guy should be Taehyeon. He's the more handsome one."
"Exactly," the boy says.
"No, Taehyeon is super handsome too. They're both handsome," Minjun says, slowly as though he isn't sure these are the right words.
"Taehyeon's handsome," Bada mumbles. He isn't reluctant to say as much, Taehyeon knows that well enough. The problem is that even these two middle school kids who are deep in their body spray combo experimentation phase are sources of intimidation for someone as timid as him.
"Bada is really handsome, isn't he?" Taehyeon says. He knows that no matter how the words come out he can only sound falsely cheerful. Well, Taehyeon is totally sincere and cheerful about people recognising his best friend's dashing good looks. Maybe Bada will become a supermodel and everyone will be glad that they saw the right qualities in him all along. Taehyeon will be laughing all the way to the business class of every flight he's on whilst accompanying Bada on his jetset superstar lifestyle.
Minjun smiles but the gradual deflation of the expression is painfully obvious.
"I tried to defend you," Bada wheedles as he is pressed right up against Taehyeon's side at the little buffet.
"I know," Taehyeon replies. "I heard you. I'm sure everyone heard you. Thanks. Should we try to find you an agency to audition at to be a model? I kind of want my mom to get the credit for recognising your talent so you need to break into the industry fast."
The buffet spread is oddly overwhelming so Taehyeon decides against agonising his way through every choice. His paper plate is already sagging beneath the weight of crisps, cakes, and various triangular sandwiches. With any luck, his decision to stop being picky will pay off. In a perfect world he'd have room for fruit but he gets enough vitamins every other day.
Bada whines and almost spills Taehyeon's selection to the floor.
"What's the matter," Taehyeon asks, only a slight fray of irritation grazing against the edge of his voice.
"Why are you so calm? Shouldn't you be the one freaking out? We're in Lee Minjun's house. He told people that you're handsome."
Taehyeon hasn't only chosen to not be picky with food. He is committed to not reacting at all to the things Minjun may or may not have said about him. Being called handsome doesn't mean anything.
"My mom calls me handsome all the time. I'm used to it by now."
"You're being too cool right now. It's weird," Bada grumbles. His paper plate is only holding a sad spoonful of salad. Bada will live to regret that. One of the problems with being picky is the likelihood of panicking and making a poor choice. Luckily for Bada, Taehyeon is cool, collected, and brimming with common sense. They can share if necessary.
"I'm being very normal."
"That's the problem," Bada says. "How are you being normal right now? We're talking about the boy you L-I-K-E."
Taehyeon doesn't know well enough to share the secret to his technique. He appreciates the effort on Bada spelling things out in English, though that might well be in vain. By now, even tiny little babies must be able to spell 'like' and the word that comes after it.
Minjun is the boy Taehyeon likes but Bada is the person pointing out how futile Taehyeon's affection is. So what if Taehyeon likes Minjun? That only means something to one of them. Minjun is just glad to have a friend who is a boy and almost the same age. Hearing that fact in words is enough of a psychic blow. Remembering it all over again isn't going to make him feel any better about the situation.
"Are you ready to go and eat?" Taehyeon asks. Bada looks at his own paper plate and startles at the objectively stupid choice he has made so far.
"Alright," Bada replies glumly. Taehyeon's prediction about having to share has come true. He doesn't mind it. He wouldn't have managed to step through the front door without Bada here.