I fucking hate kids.
That's all I can say after what I've had to go through these past thirty minutes.
I can't really fault them though.
They were kids and it's in their nature to be playful, and despite my annoyance and frustration, I couldn't bring myself to actually hate them, especially when they flash those pure smiles at me.
The innocence and happiness in those eyes melted it all away, but that didn't change the fact that I fucking hate kids.
"So this is where you all are." The soft familiar voice of the matron sounded as she approached with a calm smile and all the other children scrambled to their feet.
"Oba-san." They all cried in greeting as some of the girls even ran up to her and hugged her feet.
Kana, the eldest of the girls, stayed back and hurriedly went to fetch their hanging clothes.
Yup, we were all naked. Not butt naked but naked enough for kids our age.
We couldn't afford to catch a cold so after playing for a while, I immediately asked them to take off their clothes to dry lest they catch a cold and be visited by Madara.
"What were you doing out here and why are you all naked?" She asked as soon as she released the two girls, Taro and Aiko who immediately froze and looked away.
"Were you playing in the stream again?"
Oh-Oh.
Hoshino-san's voice has taken that tone again.
Sigh.
Just my life.
Now I'd get punished for something stupid when I gained nothing in the end.
And you'd wonder why I hate kids.
The moment Hoshino-san's voice took on that particular sharp edge, all the kids instinctively tensed, their tiny backs straightening like guilty soldiers before a general.
Kana, ever the responsible one, was already folding the damp clothes with an innocent expression, pretending she had nothing to do with it.
Renji, the ever-cheerful snotty brat, was already shifting on his feet, probably debating whether to come up with a clumsy excuse or just flash his signature toothy grin.
Kazu, of course, had no such hesitation. "We weren't playing in the stream, Oba-san! We were, uh… helping Murakami catch fish!"
I shot him a deadpan stare. Helping? This little demon had spent more time throwing pebbles into the water and scaring the fish away than actually being of any use.
Hoshino-san's eyes flickered over to me, sharp and unreadable. "Is that true?"
I debated lying. For all of two seconds. Then I remembered that the old woman had a way of knowing when we were lying. I wasn't about to dig my own grave.
"Yes," I admitted, brushing my wet bangs out of my eyes. "Though 'help' might be a bit of a stretch."
Renji gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest as if I'd just betrayed him. "But Murakami-kun, we were cheering for you!"
Where the fuck did he even learn that?
Aiko snorted. "Cheering doesn't help him catch fish, dumbass."
"Aiko-chan!" Kana scolded, ever the proper big sister. "Don't call people dumb!"
"It's not an insult if it's true." Aiko huffed, crossing her arms.
Oh? What an interesting young girl.
I still hate kids but…she interesting.
Taro, who had been suspiciously quiet, suddenly pointed at me. "Hey, hey! If Murakami was catching fish… where's the fish?"
Damn it.
I knew one of them would bring that up.
Immediately, all their tiny heads swiveled back to me like hungry little wolves sensing weakness.
Even Hiro, the quietest of them all, tilted his head in curiosity, waiting for my response.
Kazu's grin widened as he whispered, "He didn't catch any, did he?"
I glared at him. He only grinned wider.
Hoshino-san sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "So let me get this straight. You all snuck out to play in the stream, and somehow Murakami-kun ended up being the only one actually doing anything productive?"
There was silence.
Then Hiro, the little traitor, nodded.
Kazu cackled. "Basically, yeah."
Oba-san sighed again, her patience clearly running on fumes. "You're all going to catch a cold at this rate. Kana, make sure everyone dries off properly before bed. And Murakami-kun—"
I tensed. Here it comes.
"Since you seem so eager to be useful, you'll be helping me with dinner."
…Huh?
The kids all gasped, eyes widening.
"Oba-san," Kazu whispered, horror-stricken. "Are you sure? He might burn the whole orphanage down."
I shot him a glare. "I can cook just fine, you little gremlin."
Hoshino-san just chuckled. "Good. Then you won't mind proving it."
The kids erupted into laughter, pointing and jeering at me like I'd just been sentenced to an embarrassing fate. I can't blame them though.
Who would expect any culinary skills from a 4 year old kid?
Nobody, that's who. But I was about to show them how wrong they could be.
Aiko smirked. "Better hope you don't poison us, Murakami."
I sighed. She was rude like Kazu, but unlike Kazu, she's more fun to hang around. Still…
I fucking hate kids.
…
The warmth of the kitchen lingered even after dinner had long been finished with the faint scent of miso and grilled fish, mixing with the quiet clinking of dishes as I stacked the last plate.
The drip of water from the recently washed utensils was the only sound in the room, until Hoshino-san's familiar voice broke the silence.
"Ara~ our Mura-chan is such a hardworking boy."
I turned to her and caught her radiant smile which caused my lips to involuntarily thin into a smile. "It's nothing. Okaa-san always did this after we've finished eating."
That was true. In the part of the original Murakami's memory about his mother, she always did this and told him that it was the responsibility of the one who prepares a meal to put away the plates afterwards.
"She must have been a wonderful mother." Hoshino said as her smile turned a bit sad.
Pity…and for some reason, I didn't like that.
"She was." I said and turned away. "I'll be on my way now." I said and walked towards the door.
"It was nice having you join me in the kitchen. The other kids loved your meal. What do you think about joining me tomorrow?" Her voice reached me before I reached the door.
Hmm? "Really?" I asked with a skeptical look as I faced her.
This was too good to be true. Usually, this was seen as a form of punishment, afterall, no kid liked working, but just tonight, before dinner was served, she brought out a separate serving bowl for me which I downed before joining the others to eat together.
Is she offering me a permanent position and an extra serving per meal?
"Of course. I loved your company too." She nodded and said. "With your help, I was able to prepare tonight's meal faster than before. What do you think?"
Logically, I should've just agreed immediately. Helping out meant more food and a chance to stay on Oba-san's good side.
But I couldn't just roll over like some eager puppy. That would set a bad precedent. I had to at least act like I was negotiating.
I'm going to be this world financial big boss so I need to start now to build momentum.
"Will I uh…get a…reward?" I asked while taking breaks in-between to find the suitable words to convey my intentions.
Gah. So much for my momentum. Stupid child body.
Hoshino seemed to startle for a moment before she burst out laughing and covered her mouth with her kimono. "You kid. Putting your interest first. Who taught you this?"
I couldn't help but blush at the way she reacted and phrased it. But still, I can't back away now. "My dad…"
He wasn't the one but who'd know? He's already dead…Bless his soul. "He taught me that as a man, no matter the situation I find myself in, I should always have one question on the front of my mind. 'What's in it for me.'"
"You seem to have had wonderful parents." Hoshino said with a smile as she walked up to me and ruffled my hair much to my annoyance but there was literally nothing I could do about it.
"They were the best." I muttered with a bright smile as I recalled the little memory I had of them.
"Aren't they all?" Hoshino muttered to herself as she had this look in her eyes I couldn't describe.
Whatever it is, I just hope it doesn't affect this deal.
"Does that mean you'll be coming tomorrow?" She asked as the look in her eyes vanished, replaced by the earlier soft and maternal one.
"Of course. As long as I get my extra servings, I don't mind being your assistant." I said with all the seriousness I could muster on my face.
"Ara~ if you keep showing such cute expressions, I'll be forced to eat you up, kid." She said, causing shivers to crawl down my spine.
Sheesh lady. Have some respect, would you? I'm a guy and I'm beautiful.
A/N: You're a guy…you should be handsome.
Mura-chan: Nah, I'm beautifully made, not handsomely made.
A/N: "..."
I took a step back, cautiously eyeing her like one would a particularly mischievous fox. The way she smiled sent a shiver down my spine. Nope. I wasn't dealing with this. Not tonight.
With a quick bow, I spun on my heel and made a break for it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Oba-san!"
Her chuckle followed me down the hall, light and amused.
I fucking hate kids. But old ladies? They might be worse.
…