So... I might have overreacted. And I'm usually the type of guy to laugh the embarrassment away, because honestly, I don't give a shit, but right now I'm not at my most stable.
Fuck this place
Slowly I make my way back to the house, this time I notice the garden, it looks amazing, very zen, extremely modern, abso fucking lutely out of place in this hellholle.
The door is still open, so I let myself in, no ghost so far, but I leave it wide open in case there is a need for a fast getaway.
I follow the voices to the living room where they are, apparently, waiting for me with tea and cookies "sorry about that" I scratch the back of my head, yep still a seven "all that screaming brought me some flashbacks" I try to laugh it off, but she seems horrified.
"I'm so sorry" her eyes are getting shiny, for fucks sakes lady, have you ever heard of a joke before?" did you called you therapist?"
What.
Da.
Fuck.
"No, No, worse, I called my lawyer"
And with the face she makes, I just can help it and start laughing. "joking" I tell her trying to catch my breath "just joking, sorry" I offer her my hand "I'm James"
She swat my hand away and goes for a hug. I unconsciously take a step back, strangers touching me freaks me out, and my face must have shown it because Matt was trying is hardest not to laugh in both our faces.
"I'm sorry, have we met before?" And now I'm getting creep out. I'm sure I saw a horror movie that started this way.
"Oh dear! It been so long, you probably don't remember me" I don't buy that overly emotional bullshit, that's what my mother used to do to manipulate everyone, always playing the victim and talking shit behind people's backs "I'm your aunty Suzi"
"But I don't have an aunty Suzi" What the actual fuck?! "I don't have any kind of aunty" I take another step back because crazy bitches freak me out even more.
"Oh dear. I'm the grand daughter of your grandfather's sister"
"So a very distant cousin" thank fucks my lawyer is coming.
And now she is getting annoyed, her left eye is twitching, the mask is peeling, and she will learn why no bich messes with me. Because I have Fel, but he's not here yet, damn "Oh well, I'm your mom's age so you can just call me aunty"
"Ok cuz, and what you doing in my house?" Her eye is twitching so much that I'm feeling a breeze.
"Well I've been living here for the last couple of years, and..." here it comes "Your saint of a mother told me she was going to leave the house to me, you see..." And there it is.
"So, you want the house?" And my smile seems to have thrown her out of balance, because now she is the one taking a step back "that's perfect!!! I was selling it anyway so I'll even give you a family discount" and she start making noises (sputtering?) "will talk about this later, I have to go pickup my boyfriend from the airport" why did I say boyfriend? To not warn her of her impending doom that is my lawyer. It was not cause wishful thinking, mostly not.
So I make a hasty exit, no without noticing the shock and disappointment (hopefully?) in Matt's face.
While I'm starting the car, I notice Matt coming my way "hey James, can you give me a ride to town square?"
YESSSSS!!!!! "Sure, hop in"