Two soft slaps left Jiang Feng clutching his face, eyes dripping with woe-is-me vibes.
It was just an accident, okay?
Was that really worth such a big reaction? I didn't mean it!
Big oof. Should've gone for the kiss first—those twin peaks were too high to climb!
Ding! Host pulled a slick move, scaling Everest, rewarded: Golden Colostrum ×9!
Not a total loss, at least.
No kiss, but the Sea King System hooked him up with some sweet loot.
Golden Colostrum: Sourced from prime Miltank, infused with mystical primal elements. Repairs congenital defects, boosts Pokémon growth, and cranks up physical strength!
Uh… hold up. What kind of milk is this?
Is it legit?
Filtered or unfiltered…?
This stuff fixes defects and pumps up growth and strength!
A straight-up early-game cheat item!
Shame it's got resistance—only the first bottle works.
Body's the foundation of revolution! With Golden Colostrum, no more worrying about Combusken's stunted growth!
Kena, gripping the desk, was miffed, her face flushed with anger.
The system's loot drop drained a chunk of her stamina…
She was not vibing.
Didn't wanna move.
"Teacher, you okay?" Jiang Feng asked, feigning concern.
Kena was mortified. Just a touch—how was it more thrilling than her late-night solo sessions?
Am I catching feelings for my student?
Kena's defenses crumbled. Fuming, she shooed him out to collect herself.
Meanwhile
Jiang Feng bribed Combusken with five cumin-roasted Swinub hooves and a bottle of Golden Colostrum, quelling its rage.
After chugging the colostrum, Combusken quaked. Old feathers fell like a bad molt, replaced by vibrant new ones in minutes!
Visibly reborn, Combusken went from wild fowl to phoenix!
Ability: Blaze (Mutating)
Not Speed Boost? I'm leaving a one-star review!
But then—wait. With the system, could he score a Speed Boost later?
Jiang Feng's review flipped to a five-star like!
Post-hype, Trainer and Pokémon got to grinding.
Goal: Top four, snag that Pokédex!
Spikemuth Gym, ball-shooting training in full swing.
Jiang Feng "coached" from the sidelines while Combusken did the heavy lifting.
"Move it, Clucky! Keep up! Did you skip breakfast? Put some oomph into it—how else you gonna master Nine Yin White Bone Claw?!"
Seeing Combusken slacking, Jiang Feng hopped off his lounge chair, griping.
"Get going! Finish the set, and we're eating meat tonight!"
Combusken perked up, diving back into training with gusto.
Man, being a kind capitalist is exhausting! Jiang Feng flopped back, sipping his Miel Tea.
Not Gong Cha—too pricey. Miel's the budget king!
Good news? Thanks to Master-tier Scratch and boosted strength, Combusken self-taught Rock Smash!
Downside? Rock Smash's base power is a measly 40.
What?
No TM to learn it?
Bro, this is reality, not a game.
You telling me you can't learn Dig without a Cynthia-sensei disc?
Rock Smash's damage is low, but its effect? Chef's kiss. 50% chance to lower the foe's Defense!
Master or Perfect it, and that Defense-drop chance skyrockets.
With that, no defense is too tough for Combusken's claws!
Jiang Feng's grin bloomed like a Vileplume.
Worldwide celebration!
Party time!
One claw, and it's bones in the dust, no clucks for miles!
Who's the scratch king? Me, that's who!
Mali, his main wife, wants a Pokémon battle?
Who's scared of who?
Jiang Feng leapt up, Poké Ball in hand, ready to throw down!
Let's see what you're made of, fairy queen! Battle on!
…
Real men end fights in three seconds!
Either I crush you, or you crush me!
Well… it ended instantly.
Jiang Feng and Combusken, smug as hell, didn't last 30 seconds!
Didn't even graze Mali's hem—Morpeko's Master-tier Quick Attack kept it untouchable, spamming Discharge from afar, giving zero openings!
Combusken couldn't catch up or dodge, kited to death in a pathetic rout.
Golden stamina? 30 seconds, done.
Mali, the big sis, smirked: "Too quick—no vibe at all."
Jiang Feng: (Ő∀Ő)!
Total cheat! I protest! Morpeko's got way more than two-and-a-half years of juice!
It's not that we're weak—enemy's just too OP!
"Benchwarmer, you're trash!" Mali teased, lips curling.
Her taunt made Jiang Feng's brows twitch.
After thrashing him, Mali felt refreshed. Take that for ogling Kena's chest! Big's overrated!
Small's cute, okay?!
"Here's Toxtricity's Poké Ball. I've talked to it," Mali said.
"One month to get Light Screen to Master-tier, and I'll pay market price."
"No breakthrough? You're done." She waved her tiny fist, adorably fierce.
Jiang Feng's face hardened. "You telling me how to do my job?"
"Come here, I want my kiss now…"
Mali froze, twisting her shirt into a penthouse knot.
This morning's roadside smooch? Only a couple of passersby saw—she could play ostrich.
But Spikemuth Gym's training field? Packed with familiar faces!
"Too many people—no naughty stuff!" she squeaked.
"Crowds make it thrilling, don't they?" Jiang Feng reached out…
Mali, wise to his tricks, dodged his salty paws and glared. "Benchwarmer, finish the job first!"
She scooped up Morpeko and bounced off.
Missed his shot, Jiang Feng smacked Combusken's head, scolding, "You, Benchwarmer! I gave you a chance, and you blew it!"
Combusken bristled, feathers flaring, claws waving.
Translation: You're the useless one—your whole body's useless!
Fuming, its Proficiency visibly spiked, hitting 2,000+ in the bank.
"Look at Morpeko—cute, right?" Jiang Feng said.
Combusken nodded. Sniffed its butt—smells like a high.
But hits like a truck. Zapped me numb, felt like heaven and hell.
Jiang Feng sighed, lamenting, "Why didn't you scratch it, show some alpha vibes? Beat it down, make it your side chick!"
"Morpeko for you, Mali for me—one each, living the dream!"
"And what happened?"
"You flopped! Couldn't even catch its tail!"
Combusken glared, claws flailing. Blame me?!
Can't blame myself, so it's on you!
"Brave Clucky, fear no challenge!"
"Trouble? Face it! No trouble? Make some and face it anyway!"
"Charge head-on—that's a real man!"
"Don't forget the mission HQ gave you!"
"No more talk—double training today! Beat Morpeko and claim her as your concubine!"
"Cluck…!"
Hoodwinked, Combusken roared, charging into the training room, fired up.
Jiang Feng wiped his brow, slinking back to his lounge chair, sipping Miel Tea.
Combusken, double-dumbfounded: Where's your training, huh?
*I'm the chicken, but you're the real dog!