The day after receiving U.A. High School's baptism.
After being normally late, I was made to sit formally in the staff room in front of Bandage-sensei.
"It's already noon... Midoriya, do you have anything to say?"
"Yes, I do!"
I counted on my fingers.
"One, two, three, four..."
"That's a lot."
"Five, six, seven..."
"The more excuses you have, the longer my lecture becomes."
"I overslept!"
Unable to choose between my back and my belly, I endured the shame and bowed my head. Bandage-sensei sighed at me, saying, "What were you even counting?" Is he going to forgive me? That's a forgiving vibe, right? Please forgive me.
After scratching his head, Bandage-sensei chopped me on the head. Corporal punishment! I thought, but saying unnecessary things would make this drag on even longer, and the chop was restrained, so I zipped my lips, deciding silence was golden.
At times like these, capable women really are different, you know? (Self-praise)
"...We got a report about this too. You were groped on the train?"
Oh, so he heard about that too.
If he knew, how wicked of him.
"That's right! Some pervert showed up, but of course, as the representative of millions of high school girls nationwide, I beat him to a pulp! I mean, on U.A.'s honor!"
Thwack—a good sound rang out, and my perfect ponytail bounced, living up to its name.
And it hurt.
"That was excessive, idiot. Who armbar-locks someone after twisting up a groper's arm? Also, stop demanding random passengers act as referees, trying to rile up passengers to get them excited, and making all the passengers do countdown chants together. ...The police are overlooking it this time, saying your sense of justice went a bit overboard, but the school's been told to give you a strict warning. Got it?"
"Yes sir. Sorry."
"Good grief. You..."
Bandage-sensei sighed again and looked at me while smoothing the wrinkles between his eyebrows with his finger. His eyes were completely filled with ulterior motives and lecherous intent.
—So I pulled a nearby female teacher over as a shield.
"Wait, what are you doing all of a sudden?"
"Well, I needed a shield—oh no!"
When I got a good look at the teacher I'd pulled over, she was a super-grade perverted person in a full-body suit with curves in all the right places. This is bad—I'll be looked at even more. They'll imagine lesbian porn.
I grabbed someone's nearby coat and covered both myself and the sexy teacher with it.
"Emergency Anti-Pervert Gaze Secret Technique: U.A. Two-Person Coat Share!"
I felt like there was a crash sound effect.
Actually, I said it myself.
"Huh? Huh?!"
To the confused pretty-face teacher, I conveyed what needed to be said.
"Sensei! Your catchphrase! Your catchphrase!"
"Catchphrase?! Uh—naughty children need punishment!"
"Midnight, please don't indulge this idiot's idiotic behavior. It'll only encourage her."
After that, I got chewed out thoroughly.
I became best buds with Midnight-sensei.
"So that's why, Kacchan, treat me to lunch."
"What do you mean 'that's why'?! I don't understand a single bit of that!"
My childhood friend Kacchan barking away.
I'm in awe of that attitude even in the cafeteria. Actually, never mind, I'm not in awe. I tried really hard to think about it, but it's impossible. Yeah.
"Now, now, come on, come on. I want to settle down with some white rice."
"Hey! Don't push me! I already bought my lunch! Look, over there—ah, hey! Don't touch my wallet!"
I borrowed a bill from shy Kacchan's wallet and inserted it into the vending machine. While I wanted to settle down with white rice, I pretended to choose beef bowl but actually ordered sushi. Premium nigiri for exactly 1,000 yen. Oh, what a bargain!
"Oi, give me the change... what the hell, you used it all?!"
"Oh? I no understand Japanese. Want eat sushi."
"Don't do that cheap foreigner act! And your mom gives you lunch money every time, doesn't she?! Pay for it yourself!"
"Lunch money? That already turned into two cream puffs on way to school."
"Then skip lunch!"
While dragging Kacchan along, I handed the ticket to the counter, and before long, my sushi came out on the counter. It was the real deal on a wooden board, looking very delicious.
When I gave the cook a thumbs up saying "It's all about the rice," he replied, "You get it, it's all about the rice." As expected, rice is the trend of the times.
I went to the seat Kacchan had secured, and sitting across from him was a masculine boy with spiky red hair.
"Yo! You're Midoriya, right?! That's awesome, doing that to Bakugo!"
This guy's oddly familiar.
I feel like I've seen him somewhere, but where?
"Ah, the guy who hit on me the other day—"
"Don't screw with me! Who gave you permission to hit on her?!"
"That's not it! I didn't do that! Midoriya, stop provoking Bakugo like that!"
The red-haired guy, grabbed by the collar and shaken by Kacchan, protested with slightly teary eyes. Apparently, he's different from that pick-up artist from before. Hm, wait, I wasn't even hit on in the first place. ...Teehee.
"So, who are you anyway?"
"Whoa, seriously? I thought you were joking, but you really don't remember me. Well, I guess we didn't really introduce ourselves. Whatever, I'm Kirishima Eijirou from Class A. For the record, I was five spots below you on the Quirk Apprehension Test, but you don't remember, right?"
"Nope, not at all."
"Could you choose your words a bit more carefully? Even I get hurt."
Kirishima slumped over dejectedly.
He was full of openings, so I took a piece of his pork cutlet.
Yum yum.
"So why are you eating with Kacchan, Kirishima? Is it fun? Are you a masochist?"
"I'm not a masochist. Hmm, it's not like I was planning to eat with Bakugo, but there weren't any other decent seats. Rather than eating with people I don't know at all, I figured I'd go with someone I know even a little—and that's how this happened."
"Huh, you're an odd one."
If I were in Kirishima's situation, I'd definitely go to other people I don't know. Normally.
I mean, it's Kacchan, right? Kacchan who's always exploding? You'd avoid him normally. I don't know how to handle him.
Despite that, I casually sat down next to Kacchan and decided to dig into my lunch. Looking at this luxurious lunch, even though I didn't attend a single class, I feel like I worked really hard.
Wait, did I work hard?
"Kacchan, I want tea."
"Shut up! Can't you just eat quietly?!"
While roaring, Kacchan opened the cap of the carbonated juice he probably bought for himself and poured half into a paper cup from the cafeteria. As expected, he's second to none when it comes to being petty. Not treating me completely is so Kacchan-like.
"Here, drink this, damn it!"
"It's not tea, but I'll make do."
"Who the hell do you think you are?!"
"This is weird. Bakugo's suddenly starting to look like a really good guy."
Kirishima's spouting something.
I want to tell him to go to an eye doctor.
"—But seriously, what were you doing all this time, Midoriya? You skipped all morning classes, right?"
"'Skipped' is rude. I just overslept a little."
"How deeply were you sleeping?"
"Not that much. I went to sleep... when I prank-called Kacchan, so what time was that?"
"2 AM, damn it!"
"Exactly eight hours."
"You woke up at 10? That's way too leisurely."
While side-eyeing the wryly smiling Kirishima, I considered which sushi to eat first. Tuna or salmon—that is the question. But well, I'll eliminate this one.
"Here, Kacchan."
"Huh? What do you—mmph?!"
I called out to Kacchan as he was digging into his beef bowl, and when he turned around, I shoved a cucumber roll into his mouth.
With the cucumber roll stuffed in his mouth, Kacchan's eyes widened, but he devoured it. I hate cucumbers to death, so I'm really glad our Kacchan is a good boy who doesn't have picky eating habits.
It must've been tastier than he expected, because Kacchan kept looking at my face as if demanding seconds. What's with that face? Are you a swallow? Cute. (Mediocre impression)
Hmm, can't be helped.
"Here, Kacchan."
"Huh?! O-oh, mmph."
It would be pitiful if Kacchan, who paid the money, could only eat one bite. So I gave him the gourd roll too. I don't particularly dislike it, but I don't love it either, so I gave it to him.
And then—
"Here, Kacchan."
"Mmph."
I gave him the salmon roe too.
It had cucumber on it, after all.
I can't eat something like this—it's worse than pig feed.
After disposing of the obstacles, it was happy lunch time.
I eat my favorites first, so I started with the tuna. So good. What is this? It's amazing. A different class from 100-yen sushi.
"You guys really get along well."
Kirishima's confused about something.
I want to tell him to look up the phrase "get along well" in a dictionary.
After savoring my luxurious lunch, I tried to leave with a sense of accomplishment, but Kacchan caught me and I was regrettably dragged to the classroom.
The afternoon is Foundational Hero Studies, apparently.
I don't know, I really want to go home.