The Great Hall was filled with the usual morning clamor—the clinking of silverware, the rustle of owl wings, and the low hum of hundreds of sleepy conversations. At the back of the room, however, at Echo's designated "Safety Table" (which he had claimed for himself and his mismatched group of friends), the atmosphere was tense. Or rather, Echo was tense. His naturally black hair was currently threaded with streaks of frustrated vermilion, a clear indicator of his fraying nerves. Frank Longbottom was having the time of his life.
"So," Frank grinned, leaning over his bowl of porridge to poke Echo's arm. "About those flowers. Are we sure they were platonic? Because the tulip I got was a very vibrant shade of red. And red usually means passion, doesn't it, Alice?"
Alice, who was buttering a piece of toast, rolled her eyes but smiled. "Leave him alone, Frank."
"I'm just saying!" Frank persisted, poking Echo again. Echo, who was trying to read a book on Advanced Golemancy, twitched. The vermilion in his hair intensified. "Maybe Echo has a secret crush on me. It's okay, mate. I'm flattered. Really. Though I'm a taken man, I can appreciate the admiration."
Echo didn't look up. He turned the page with a forceful thrust. "Frank. Eat your eggs."
"But the heart-shaped rocks for Lockhart!" Frank chortled. "That was passion too, wasn't it? A passion for violence. So much emotion! You're a deeply emotional man, Echo. A romantic soul hidden beneath layers of dragon dung and cynicism."
He poked Echo again. Poke.
"Stop it," Echo grunted.
"Come on, give us a smile," Frank teased, reaching out to ruffle Echo's hair. "Just a little one. For your Valentine?"
Poke. Poke.
Echo slowly closed his book. The thud was soft, but it felt final. The vermilion streaks in his hair deepened to a furious crimson. The air around the table seemed to drop a few degrees. Lily and Severus, sensing the shift in atmospheric pressure, stopped eating. Alice paused with her toast halfway to her mouth. Amos Diggory looked between Frank and Echo, eyes wide.
Echo turned his head. He looked at Frank with dead, flat eyes. The teasing grin on Frank's face faltered slightly. The crimson in Echo's hair suddenly vanished, replaced by a cold, flat steel gray.
"Frank," Echo said. His voice was quiet, calm, and heard only by the six of them at the table.
"Yeah?" Frank asked nervously.
Echo stared at him for a long, heavy second. Then, with careful, deliberate enunciation, he spoke. "Go. To. Penis."
Silence slammed into the table like a physical weight.
Frank blinked. Amos blinked. Lily's fork clattered onto her plate. Severus looked as if he were trying to calculate the sentence's arithmancy and failing.
"I..." Frank started, confused. "What?"
"You heard me," Echo said, his face completely serious. The steel gray of his hair remained unwavering. "Go. To. Penis."
Frank stared at him. Then, slowly, a look of profound understanding dawned on his face. It was the look of a teenage boy who had just been handed a nonsensical directive and decided, instantly, that it was the most brilliant plan ever conceived. Amos suddenly slammed his hands down on the table, startling Alice. He stood up, a look of fierce determination on his face. He clapped a hand on Frank's shoulder, then on Echo's.
"You know what?" Amos declared, his voice thick with solidarity. "He's right. Let's go to penis together."
Echo's stoic mask cracked. A hint of light, amused gold, flashed through his steel-gray hair. He looked away, a sharp, unbidden laugh escaping him. He stood up, abandoning his book and his breakfast.
"Let's go," Echo agreed, grabbing his bag. The gold settled to a cheerful bronze.
"To penis!" Frank cheered, leaping up.
Without another word, without a backward glance or a single explanation, the three boys marched out of the Great Hall in perfect formation. They moved with a singular, inexplicable purpose, leaving the rest of the hall to continue eating, blissfully unaware of the crusade that had just begun. At the table, silence reigned for a full ten seconds. Finally, Lily slowly turned her head to look at Severus. Her expression was a mix of bewilderment and concern.
"Sev?" she asked softly. "Do you... Do you have any idea what that meant?"
Severus stared at the empty seats where the boys had just been. He took a slow sip of his pumpkin juice. "No," he said simply. "And I don't think I want to."
Three days later, the "Go To Penis" incident remained unexplained. The boys had returned to classes as if nothing had happened, though they shared secret, knowing nods in the corridors that infuriated Lily to no end. Echo's hair, for the most part, maintained its normal black, occasionally flecked with pale blue when he was bored. It was a crisp, clear afternoon when Lily and Alice found themselves walking down one of the third-floor corridors, heading towards the courtyard for a breath of fresh air.
"I'm just saying," Alice said, adjusting her bag, "Frank has been acting weird all week. Happy, but weird. Yesterday I caught him staring at a wall and giggling."
"Boys are always weird," Lily sighed. "Especially that group. I think Echo is a bad influence on them. Or maybe they're a bad influence on Echo. It's a vicious cycle."
They reached the heavy oak doors that led to the small, stone-paved courtyard below the Astronomy Tower. Lily pushed the door open, and they stepped out into the sunlight.
CRASH!
Both girls shrieked and jumped back as something massive slammed into the paving stones inches from their toes. It exploded with a sound like a gunshot, sending shards of glittering shrapnel flying everywhere.
"What on earth?!" Alice cried, whipping out her wand.
Lily looked down at the debris. It wasn't glass. It was ice. A massive, jagged block of ice had fallen from above, shattering into a million diamond-like pieces.
"Sorry!" a voice called down from above. "Forgot to lock the door! Incoming ceased!"
Lily and Alice looked up. There, standing on a stone balcony about fifteen feet above them, was a veritable army of boys.
It was the Marauders—James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. It was Echo's crew—Frank and Amos. There were even a few random Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs Lily didn't know by name. They were all leaning over the railing, looking down with expressions of polite apology mixed with manic glee. Echo's hair was currently a chaotic mix of excited bright orange and mischievous teal.
"Echo?" Lily called up, shielding her eyes from the sun. "What are you doing?!"
"Breaking stuff!" Echo yelled back cheerfully. He was holding another melon-sized chunk of ice in his hands.
"Why?!" Lily demanded.
Echo paused, looking at the ice, then at the other boys, then back down at Lily. "Because... watching things fall and go smash is fun?" The teal in his hair pulsed with his grin.
A murmur of agreement rippled through the boys on the balcony. "It is surprisingly satisfying," Remus Lupin admitted, leaning over the rail.
"Don't worry!" Echo added quickly, seeing Lily's expression darken. "It's not Hogwarts property! We're not vandals. Well, mostly not. We're just using Glacius to freeze water into shapes, then chuck them over the edge. It's physics! And gravity! Educational!"
"Educational," Alice repeated flatly. "You nearly flattened us with education."
"Look out!" Sirius Black suddenly yelled, shoving his way to the railing. "I found this in my trunk! It's a Blood Pop the size of my head! I bought it in Hogsmeade in my third year, but I never ate it because it looked suspicious! Let's see how it breaks!"
He held up a monstrous, sticky red lollipop that looked hard enough to crack a troll's skull.
"Yeah!" the boys cheered in unison.
"Wait, no!" Lily shouted.
"Fire in the hole!" Sirius screamed, and he hurled the giant candy over the side.
Lily and Alice scrambled backward, Alice casting a hasty Protego just as the lollipop hit the stone.
CRACK-SPLAT!
It didn't just shatter; it exploded into a cloud of red sugar dust and sticky shards that bounced harmlessly off Alice's shield charm.
"OHHHH!" the boys on the balcony roared, high-fiving each other as if Sirius had just won the Quidditch Cup. Echo's hair flashed gold for a moment with shared triumph.
"That was magnificent!" James cheered. "Do the pumpkin next!"
"What is going on here?!" The sharp, stern voice cut through the cheers like a knife.
The boys on the balcony froze. Lily and Alice turned to see Professor McGonagall marching into the courtyard through the ground-floor entrance, her tartan robes swirling angrily. She looked at the shattered ice, the red sugar dust, and the two terrified girls.
She looked up. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted the collection of students. "Mr. Echo!" she barked, her gaze locking onto him instantly. "Is this your doing?"
Echo's eyes widened. The orange and teal in his hair abruptly flared to a horrified, electric magenta. He looked at the ice in his hand. He looked at McGonagall. Panic, pure and primal, seized him.
"You'll never take us alive!" Echo screamed, his voice cracking. The magenta in his hair was practically vibrating. He smashed the chunk of ice against the balcony railing, sending it crashing into the railing with a dramatic crash. "SCATTER!" he bellowed.
It was like kicking an anthill.
"Run away!" Peter Pettigrew squeaked, transforming into a rat and scurrying into a drainpipe.
"Invisibility!" James yelled. He and Sirius threw a cloak over themselves and vanished into thin air.
"Brooms!" Amos shouted. He and Frank vaulted over the railing, summoning their brooms mid-air with impressive Summoning Charms, catching them, and zooming off towards the Quidditch pitch.
Echo, lacking a broom or an animal form, did the only logical thing. He whistled. From the roof above the balcony, a small, scaly shape dropped down. Nugget the Cockatrice screeched, his leathery wings spreading wide.
"Go, Nugget, go!" Echo yelled. He vaulted over the railing, grabbing onto Nugget's scaly legs as the beast flapped furiously, struggling for a moment with the weight before gaining altitude. His hair was still a wild, panicked magenta.
"Mr. Echo! Get back here this instant!" McGonagall shouted, waving her wand.
"I regret nothing!" Echo shouted back, dangling precariously as Nugget carried him up and over the castle turrets, disappearing into the clouds.
Within ten seconds, the balcony was empty.
McGonagall stood in the courtyard, fuming. She adjusted her spectacles, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I will hunt them down," she muttered to herself, turning on her heel. "Individually. If it takes me all night."
She marched back inside, already mentally deducting points. Lily and Alice stood alone in the courtyard, surrounded by melting ice and sticky candy shards. The silence was absolute.
"What..." Alice began, staring at the empty sky. "What just happened?"
"I think," Lily said slowly, "we just witnessed a hive mind panic response."
The door opened again. Severus walked out, a book under his arm. He looked at the ice. He looked at the girls. He looked at the empty balcony.
"Did I miss something?" he asked.
Lily looked at him, then at the spot where Echo had flown away on a chicken-lizard.
"Sev," she said wearily, "let's just go to the library."
The afternoon sun was warm, casting long, dappled shadows across the Hogwarts grounds. Lily Evans was taking full advantage of the weather, walking along the edge of the Black Lake with a Charms textbook open in her hands. It was a rare moment of tranquility—or at least, it was supposed to be. A roar of masculine cheering shattered the silence, followed by a loud SPLASH that sent ripples racing across the glassy surface of the water.
Lily stopped, lowering her book. She frowned, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, and headed toward the noise. As she crested a small rise, the source of the commotion became clear. A massive crowd of boys had gathered near the water's edge. It was a strange, eclectic mix: Echo's usual crew of misfits, the Marauders, a group of stoic-looking Durmstrang students, and a smattering of curious onlookers from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.
In the center of the chaos stood a giant, jury-rigged slingshot. It looked like two young trees had been transfigured and bent together, held by a thick elastic band that hummed with tension. As Lily watched, a Durmstrang boy—Gungnir, she recalled—stepped up. Two other boys loaded a large, lumpy object into the pouch. Gungnir grunted, his muscles straining as he pulled the band back to his ear.
"FIRE!" someone yelled.
THWIP!
The object—it looked like a pumpkin—soared through the air with terrifying speed. It arced high over the lake before plummeting down and hitting the water with a thunderous impact.
"YEAHHHHH!" the boys screamed, high-fiving and shoving each other in celebration.
Echo, who seemed to be acting as the ringmaster of this circus, spotted her. He waved, a bright grin on his face.
"Hey, Lily!" he called out over the noise. "Want to join us? We're doing physics!"
Lily walked down the slope, eyeing the contraption warily. "Hi, Echo," she said, coming to a stop beside him. "I hate to ask this, but... what exactly are you doing?"
Echo gestured grandly to the lake. "You remember how we all got in trouble a few weeks ago for throwing things off the balcony?"
"Vividly," Lily said dryly. "McGonagall gave you all detention for a week."
"Right," Echo nodded. "Well, since we can't break stuff on school grounds anymore because of 'safety regulations' or whatever, we decided to launch things into the lake instead. It's safer, and the splash is way more satisfying."
Lily looked at the dark water. "Are the Merfolk okay with that? You're basically bombarding their roof."
"The Merfolk live under the lake, Lily," Echo said, as if stating the obvious. "Not on top of it. The deeper they go, the less they care."
"Right," Lily said slowly. "But what about Skate? Isn't she... You know... around?"
Echo's face lit up. "Oh, she's fine with it! In fact, she loves it. She's obsessed with surface stuff, but she can't ever get any because, you know... no legs. We're basically Amazon delivery for her."
Lily frowned. "But what happens if you hit her by accident?"
Echo's smile didn't waver, but his eyes darted to the side. "Ask Peter."
Lily followed his gaze. Lying in the grass a few feet away was Peter Pettigrew. He was curled into a fetal ball, clutching his ribs and letting out low, rhythmic moans of pain.
"Oh my god!" Lily gasped, rushing over. "What happened?"
"Accident," Echo called out cheerfully. "He launched a slab of bark. It veered left. Skate popped up to say hi. Bonk."
"And?" Lily asked, looking at Peter's pale face.
"She returned the favor," Echo explained. "She threw a piece of waterlogged driftwood back at us. Caught Peter right in the breadbasket."
Lily looked at the driftwood lying near Peter. It was soft, rotted, and squishy. "Echo, that wood is practically a sponge. It shouldn't hurt that much."
"It does when it's moving at Mach 2," Echo replied.
Lily looked back at Peter, who was wheezing. "How hard did she throw it?"
"Hard," Echo said simply.
"I didn't believe him," Sirius piped up, stepping forward and looking down at his fallen friend with a mixture of concern and amusement. "He always said Mermaids were stupidly strong. I thought he was exaggerating." He shook his head. "I was wrong. That girl has an arm like a cannon."
"When have I ever lied?" Echo shot back, looking offended.
"Will he be okay?" Lily asked, watching Peter try to inhale.
"He should be fine," Echo shrugged. "Maybe. Madam Pomfrey can fix bruised ribs in a second."
Lily stood up, scanning the crowd again. Her eyes landed on a figure standing slightly apart from the cheering masses, arms crossed, looking distinctly unimpressed.
"Sev?" she asked, surprised. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd think this was... well, beneath you."
Snape looked at her, his expression pinched. "It is," he drawled. "I am merely here as the voice of reason. Someone has to ensure they don't accidentally launch a student."
"More like the killjoy," James muttered, appearing at Echo's other side. "Always saying 'don't throw this' and 'that's explosive'. Honestly, Snivellus, you're ruining the vibe." He grinned mischievously. "How about we throw him into the lake next?"
"No!" Echo said vehemently, stepping between them. "Absolutely not."
"Yeah!" a Durmstrang boy shouted, caught up in the excitement. "Let's throw Echo in!"
The reaction was instantaneous.
"NO!" The shout came from everywhere. The Marauders, Echo's crew, and even the Hufflepuffs all screamed in unison, eyes wide with panic.
"Why not?" the Durmstrang boy asked, confused by the wall of refusal.
Remus stepped forward, looking weary. "You didn't see it earlier," he explained gravely. "When Echo was down by the shoreline explaining the game to Skate... we had to spend ten minutes physically pulling them apart. She has a grip like a vice." He shuddered. "If we throw him in there, she will never let him go. We'll never see him again."
The Durmstrang boy blinked. "Mermaid smooching?"
Echo, who currently sported several faint, reddish suck-marks on his neck and a distinct, small bite mark on his cheek, gave a thumbs up. "Mermaid smooching."
Amos Diggory rolled his eyes, chuckling. "You two are like monkeys. Seriously."
Frank Longbottom sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't even want to think about what happens when he turns seventeen. They're going to go from monkeys to rabbits."
"That's when we're getting married," Echo declared dreamily, looking out over the water. About fifty yards out, a pale arm broke the surface, waving enthusiastically. Echo sighed lovingly. "I'm going to give her as many kids as she wants."
The boys fell into an awkward silence at that, shuffling their feet. Suddenly, a younger student, panting and covered in dirt, sprinted up the hill. He was dragging something heavy behind him.
"I found it!" the boy gasped, hauling a massive, iron-rimmed wagon wheel into the circle. "We can launch this!"
Echo's eyes widened. "Sweet!" He walked over, inspecting the rusted relic. Then he paused. "Wait. Where did you even get a wagon wheel?"
The boy opened his mouth, closed it, and looked sidelong. He didn't answer.
Echo stared at him for a second, then shrugged. "Ah, forget it. Load it up!"
The heavy iron wheel was hoisted into the makeshift leather pouch of the slingshot. It took three boys—Frank, Amos, and the breathless finder—just to lift it into place. The elastic band groaned ominously under the weight.
"Ready?" Echo shouted, his voice ringing with pure, unadulterated joy.
"Ready!" Gungnir bellowed back. He stepped up to the launcher, his thick arms bulging as he grabbed the pouch. With a grunt that sounded more bear than boy, he hauled the band back, his boots digging furrows into the soft earth. The tension was palpable; the air practically hummed.
"Three!" Echo counted down.
"Two!" The crowd joined in.
"ONE!"
"FIRE!"
TWAAAAANG!
The sound was like a giant guitar string snapping. The wagon wheel didn't just fly; it launched with a terrifying whoosh, spinning through the air like a deadly frisbee. It sailed higher and further than anything they had launched yet, a dark disc against the blue sky. It hung at the apex of its arc for a split second, then plummeted.
KA-DOOOM!
The impact was spectacular. A geyser of water erupted fifty feet into the air, soaking the front row of onlookers.
"YEAHHHHHH!" The cheer was deafening. Boys jumped, hugged, and punched the air.
Out in the lake, a sleek, pale shape breached the water like a dolphin. Skate shot into the air, snatching the sinking wheel before it could hit the bottom, and with a joyful shriek, dragged her new prize down into the depths.
"WHERE IS MY WAGON WHEEL?!" The roar cut through the celebration like a guillotine blade. It was deep, angry, and distinctly Hagrid.
The cheering died instantly. Every boy froze. Echo's grin vanished. He turned slowly toward the treeline where the forbidden forest began. A massive, bearded figure was stomping toward them, looking furious.
Echo turned to Lily, his face dead serious. "We were never here," he said quickly.
"What?" Lily asked, blinking water out of her eyes.
"SCATTER!" Echo screamed.
And just like that, the army dissolved. Boys sprinted in every direction—toward the castle, toward the Quidditch pitch, into the bushes. In seconds, the shoreline was empty save for the giant slingshot and a very confused Lily Evans.
She stood alone by the lake, watching the dust settle.
"Boys," she muttered, shaking her head as Hagrid emerged from the trees, looking red-faced and ready to wrestle a troll. "Unbelievable."
Later that week, the weather had held, and the Hogwarts grounds were dotted with students soaking up the rare Scottish sun. Lily was sitting cross-legged on the lawn, her back against a beech tree, deeply engrossed in her Charms essay.
"Lily!"
She looked up to see Alice approaching, clutching a Transfiguration textbook. Alice looked like she was about to ask something important, her mouth already open, but then her gaze drifted past Lily's shoulder. She stopped dead, her brow furrowing.
"What is that?" Alice asked, pointing toward a dense knot of students near the edge of the forbidden forest.
Lily didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. She sighed, marking her page with a quill. "Oh, that." She gestured vaguely behind her without looking. "About five minutes ago, one of Echo's Kneazles trotted out of the bushes. It had hunted a squirrel and dropped it right at Echo's feet like a trophy. Echo looked down and yelled, 'Hey, everyone, look at this messed-up squirrel my Kneazle just brought me!'"
Lily finally turned to look. The group was large—a mix of Hogwarts, Durmstrang, and even a few Beauxbatons boys. They were standing in a tight circle, heads bowed in solemn contemplation, staring at something on the ground. Echo's normally dark hair had taken on a mottled ochre and pale blue—the colors of morbid curiosity.
"And then," Lily continued, "a whole host of boys from all three schools just... swarmed. They surrounded it. And now they're all just staring at this dead squirrel and poking it with their wands."
Alice watched as a Durmstrang student leaned in, prodded the unseen object with his wand, and then nodded sagely to the boy next to him. "Why?"
"I have no idea," Lily said, returning to her essay. "It's a dead squirrel. It's not magical. It's not rare. It's just dead. But apparently, that's fascinating enough to unite international student bodies." She paused. "Even Sev got in on it."
Alice's eyes widened. "Snape? Really?"
"Yep," Lily confirmed. "He's in there somewhere. Probably analyzing the cause of death or something morbid."
"I don't get it," Alice murmured, watching Frank Longbottom lean in to get a closer look. "How long do you think this will go on for?"
"I don't know," Lily shrugged. "But they're not making any noise, so it's fine. As long as nothing explodes, I'm ignoring it."
Over in the circle, the atmosphere was one of intense scientific inquiry. The squirrel lay limp and lifeless on the grass. Snuggles the Kneazle sat proudly beside his kill, looking smug.
"It's definitely dead," James Potter observed, poking it gently with his wand.
"Very dead," Sirius agreed. "Look at the tail. No twitch."
"Fascinating," Severus murmured, leaning in close. "Rigor mortis hasn't set in yet. It must be a fresh kill."
"Do you think it had a family?" Echo asked solemnly. His hair was still a contemplative ochre and blue.
"Probably," Amos sighed. "Poor little guy."
He poked it. Then Frank poked it. Then a Beauxbatons boy poked it. Snuggles, seemingly bored by the lack of consumption of his gift, reached out a paw. He tapped the squirrel on the nose.
TWITCH.
The dead squirrel's eyes snapped open. With a screech that sounded far too loud for its size, the 'dead' animal sprang into the air, fully alive and absolutely terrified.
"IT'S ALIVE!" Echo screamed, scrambling backward so fast he tripped over his own robes. His hair instantly flashed a vibrant, horrified red-and-white.
Chaos erupted instantly. The circle of boys broke apart as a bomb had gone off.
"RUN!" James yelled.
"THE KNEAZLE IS A NECROMANCER!" Sirius bellowed, pointing an accusing finger at Snuggles while sprinting for the castle. "DARK MAGIC! DARK MAGIC!"
The squirrel, in a panic, darted erratically between legs. Snuggles, realizing his lunch was escaping, let out a yowl and gave chase. The squirrel zig-zagged, looking for cover, and spotted the nearest dark tunnel: Echo's robes.
"AHHHHH!" Echo shrieked as the furry missile shot up his pant leg. His hair remained a frantic red and white. "IT'S IN MY CLOTHES! IT'S IN MY CLOTHES! GET IT OUT!"
He began to hop around frantically, slapping at his legs.
"I got you!" Remus yelled. He dove, grabbing Echo by the ankles. With surprising strength, he hoisted Echo into the air and began to shake him upside down like he was trying to empty change from a pocket.
"SHAKE HIM!" Frank cheered. "SHAKE THE EVIL OUT!"
Unbeknownst to them, the squirrel had already shot out of Echo's collar seconds ago and was currently sprinting across the lawn with Snuggles in hot pursuit.
Meanwhile, Shimmer the Demiguise had materialized on a nearby rock. Seeing the chaos and his master in distress, he decided to help. He raised his beating stick, eyes locked on where he thought the squirrel was.
WHACK!
"Twinkle... twinkle... little star..." Severus Snape mumbled, stumbling sideways. He had walked right into the path of the stick. His eyes crossed, and he crumpled gracefully to the grass, out cold.
Pandemonium continued. Boys were running, Remus was still shaking an upside-down Echo, Sirius was shouting about zombie squirrels, and Snuggles was halfway to the forest. Back by the tree, Lily and Alice watched the scene unfold in silence.
"I don't understand men at all," Alice said finally, watching Echo flail.
Lily looked at the unconscious Severus, then at the screaming Sirius. She sighed, picking up her quill again.
"Me neither, Alice," she agreed. "Me neither."