Canada.
Frank Gallagher was in Canada.
"How's it possible?" Desna had asked with wide eyes, observing V, who had just entered the house to inform her.
"Steve apparently," Veronica had said, taking a breath.
"That's fucked up," Desna had said.
Her eyes followed Carl and Debbie as they played in the playgrounds. Since Kevin and Veronica were the only two with passports, they went with Steve to cross the border and bring Frank back to America. It was unbelievable that Steve had taken the man and left him in Canada, but, in all honesty, Desna didn't feel like blaming him.
The girl looked at the children's play, running around as she was sitting on the swing. She was Carl's age when she was taken away from her family. Her mother had been a drunk since a young age; she had tried to get sober more than once. Desna had been in and out of foster care for the first years of her life, from what she knew. Her first memories started when her mother had managed to get sober, cooking, playing, and regular stuff… it was during that period that Kev had met Desna and her mother; he was a neighbor, and Desna remembered that she liked to play with Kev even if she could not remember it clearly.
But when she was seven years old, he came into their life.
She remembered him the first time he met her. He was so charming, lovely, and friendly. Everyone in the neighborhood liked him. Desna liked him as well, and finally, she saw her mother happy and serene. And Desna was finally feeling like she could have a normal family, like the one her friends at school had. The day her mother married that man, he promised that he would take care of them, protect them and that they would have been happy. And they believed it.
But they were wrong.
It didn't take long for him to show his true face: a violent drug dealer, dangerous and egoistic. He got angry at everything, at anything, and he would beat her mother almost every day. Desna was eight, and he had terrorized her, telling her that if she had told what was happening to anyone, he would have killed them both. It didn't take long for her mother to relapse. She started to drink again. And the worst part was that she said that she loved him and that he was right. She did nothing to protect herself or her daughter. And once his attention moved to Desna, she did nothing.
What kind of parents let their children suffer? What kind of parents choose themselves over their kids? They could not defend themselves. Parents were supposed to be there to show their children the way, not to keep drinking so that they could forget the struggles of their lives.
Social services saved Desna's life. When Kev knew what had happened, he looked for her and decided to take her in with V.
If Frank Gallagher had left, social services would probably have taken the Gallaghers away. But that could not happen.
She observed Debbie and Carl.
Desna was alone, they weren't, and no one cared to keep siblings together.
They were stuck: a shit of a father or the perspective to face the future alone, without the people that they relied on the most.
"D," as she heard Karen's voice, Desna had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.
"You know my name very well, Karen," she said without turning, "Cut the shit out."
Karen giggled, sitting on the swing next to her, "Someone is stressed; why don't you go fuck, Lip?" Then she gasped, "Oh wait, you can't."
Desna turned to Karen, "What do you want?"
"Always knew you were the jealous type," Karen seemed very amused by what was going on, "I bet you can't even think of how many things Lip and I are doing right now."
That made Desna scoff.
"It's not about that," Desna answered, before turning away, "You wouldn't understand anyway."
She could feel Karen's eyes on her, and she just wished that she would have left soon.
"You think you're better than me?" Karen challenged.
Desna's lips showed a smile as her eyes moved back to the girl next to her. "Yeah," Karen said, seeming taken aback by her words.
"I give a shit about who I care about," Desna said, "And in return, I want to know where I stand. Sex is fun, but I'm not a whore," then she stood up, calling for the kids, "Honestly Karen, you two can fuck how much you want, I'm not jealous of you. I'm jealous that you have a space in his life."
The days went by, Frank was back, and their usual life came back again. She went to school, studied, and went to work. She worked almost every day; she had nothing else to do, so why not earn some more money? She didn't go to the Gallaghers as much, especially when she knew that Lip was at home. And when they met they didn't really speak, they avoided look at each other more than they had to. And she missed him, but she was not going to tell him anything. Probably, it was better like that.
"Why do I need to study French?" Ian complained on top of the ladder as he organized the goods on a shelf.
"Culture?" Desna asked teasingly, "Helping a handsome French guy in need?" He glared at her when she passed him a bag of chips.
"It's easy for you," he complained, "You've got all straight A in French," then it turned with a frown, "Are you taking Spanish classes as well?"
"Claro que sí," he gave her another glare, which made her giggle as she passed him another good. "Come on, let me brag a little bit. These are the only classes where I got good grades," she then said, taking a break. "Since I've stopped seeing Lip, even my grades are down."
"What other things went down?" Ian asked with a teasing smile.
Desna tilted his head, "My patience to deal with smartasses," Ian chuckled, getting off of the ladder.
"I didn't think you'd resist this much without seeing each other," Ian said as he approached another shelf. Desna followed him, taking a breath.
"Yeah, well…" she said, "I'm not planning to see him any time soon," Ian turned to her, leaning his arm on the ladder, with a frown.
"I admit that I don't understand Lip and his whole Karen thing. I can see why you broke it off." He was saying, and her brows moved up in a frown.
"That's not why I broke it off," Desna stopped him. Her words took him by surprise.
"Then what happened?"
"I thought he told you," she answered, confused.
"He told me you left him," he said, his face grave as he observed her looking away with a scoff.
"Did he mention what he told me?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. And when he shook his head, she spoke again, "Lip is very vocal in calling Karen his best friend," then she shrugged her shoulders, "That's fine, I don't care. But when I've asked him what am I to him, his answer was 'a good fuck'," Ian's eyes widened.
"Exact words?" He asked.
"Yep," she said bitterly, nodding her head,
"Shit…" he muttered.
Then Desna took a breath. "I knew that he didn't want a relationship," she said. "And I knew that he had a thing for Karen, but… I don't know…"
Ian observed her, "Did you two talk about you're umm… situationship?"
"Not at first," she answered honestly, "I mean, after the first time we had sex, we'd started to jump at each other at any moment we could," they really did. After that night on the couch, they just couldn't keep their hands on each other, and what started as steamy sex started out of nowhere became real encounters.
"I just wanted to know if he cares about me," she admitted, "And it hurt me that he does not see anything else in me, if not sex."
Ian's hand moved to touch her arm, "I think he's just an asshole," he said, making her turn with a frown, "He can say whatever, but he would not be that upset if he didn't care just a little."
"Is he upset? Even now?" She asked with wide eyes, and Ian nodded his head. If he was upset, then maybe he cared, even just a little. Perhaps he missed her. And for some reason, she could not stop the smile on her face, "Am I a bitch if it feels good to know?"
Ian chuckled, "No," and that made her laugh.
As they were laughing, the shop's door opened, making the two of them turn. Desna looked at Ian when she noticed Mandy Milkovich stepping into the shop.
"She is here for you," Desna muttered. Ian shoved her a little.
Mandy was Mikey's sister, and she was in the same grade as Ian and Desna. History class together. Lately, she has started to give Ian lots of attention, trying to talk to him every time she can. Desna had told Ian about her thoughts, but he usually dismissed her, saying that she was imagining things.
"I'm telling you, man, she is here to flirt with you," she said, her eyes on Mandy, who was looking around.
"She is here to shop," Ian said firmly.
"Of course she is; you're a snack," at her answer, he glared at her, and that made her giggle.
"Ian!" Mandy greeted him as she walked closer.
"I'mma go," Desna said. She felt Ian's hand try to grab her, but she dodged him. She had noticed how Mandy seemed not to like when Desna talked to Ian, and for how much she loved him, she really didn't want any more troubles with any Milkovich. She waved at Ian as she exited the shop, feeling a little bad and a little amused by how he was looking at her.
Desna was walking back home, her mind thinking about her favorite subject once again. Lip apparently was upset for some reason, and a part of her felt great about it. Maybe he really missed her, perhaps he really cared, but the other part of her told her that it was sex that he missed. Only that, in the end, her joy started to die down a little.
"Hello," Iggy Milkovich's voice made her stop. He was standing in front of her, observing her body with that gaze that really made her feel uneasy.
"What do you want?" she asked, unconsciously taking a step back when he approached. A viscous smirk was on his lips.
"You know what I want," he said, moving his hand, but as his fingers touched her face, she slapped his hand away.
"I told you not to touch me!" She exclaimed, and he raided his hands with a low chuckle.
"No worries," he said. I'm not going to do anything that you won't agree to do."
Her eyes studied his movements in case of any possible action from him, "That'll never happen," she stated firmly, but that chuckle left his lips again as he leaned forward.
"Don't worry, you will," he said.
"Why would I do that?" she asked in a shaky voice. She didn't like his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat when he moved to speak into her ear.
"You'll see," those words suddenly made her feel cold and unable to move. Iggy looked at her one more time before walking past her.
He was starting to terrorize her. She didn't like his eyes; there was only lust in them. He wanted to have her again, and she cursed herself for having put herself in that situation. She did exactly what she should have to avoid. As she felt him far from her, she let out a shaky breath. He was not going to hurt her. He couldn't. She tried to convince herself that Iggy Milkovich would not have touched her, but her hands started shaking again.