I got devoured. The declaration that I would live for myself has faded into meaninglessness, like an old graduation photo.
In this world of reversed chastity, maintaining autonomy and upholding male dignity while only having sex when I want to, on my terms, has become impossible. My right to sexual freedom is gone.
In this situation, there's nothing I can do. I'm like a bird with broken wings or a horse with all four legs shattered.
"…Move your tongue properly."
Yejin, straddling me, shoves her tongue into my mouth, recklessly probing every corner.
My hard teeth, soft palate, and pliant tongue… Yejin explores every part of my mouth with her tongue, as if savoring every inch.
As she does, thick, sticky saliva with a heavy scent flows endlessly from her mouth into mine.
It's as if she's trying to coat my esophagus, stomach, and intestines with her viscous saliva… It just keeps pouring in without end.
Chuu… Chuurp…
Whenever the saliva that can't fit in my mouth spills out between my lips, Yejin sucks it back up and forces it into my mouth again.
Each time I swallow her saliva, an utterly vulgar sound echoes, and the act itself is just as crude. But I can't resist at all.
Like a mouse bitten by a venomous snake, my body gradually loses strength… I don't even want to think anymore.
Male dignity, free will, sexual autonomy—these things are completely disregarded in this one-sided act. Why can't I resist?
Yejin, still atop me, continues kissing me with an utterly expressionless face, showing no hint of emotional fluctuation.
As I've said before, her emotionless expression while kissing me is incredibly lascivious, but that's not the point.
Whether I like this person or not, whether this feels good or not, whether I've tried something and found it unpleasant—I can't read any of that on her face. She's like a mannequin, her face stiff as she smears sticky kisses all over mine, drenched in saliva. It feels like she's treating me like an object.
There's no human connection, no attraction. It's just that she's sexually hungry and using me to satisfy it. That's the vibe I've been getting all along.
It's like when we watch porn and get aroused without making a lewd expression. Seeing Yejin do all this without a hint of excitement makes it impossible for me to feel any affection for her.
The irresistible pleasure, the overwhelming sexual pheromones exuded by a superior woman, must give her a huge advantage when dealing with men in this world.
…And… since I can't resist this sexual pleasure either, I'll admit that kissing Yejin feels good. But at the same time, I can't help feeling a surge of defiance.
There's no affection. Sex without love is just masturbation.
And… I hate that Yejin sees me this way. This is the last bastion of male pride, the final stronghold. If I lose even this, I'm no different from a rutting monkey.
"…S-Stop…"
Yejin keeps smothering my mouth, making it impossible to speak properly. Between her kisses, I decide to push her off me with my freed hands.
My fingertips brush against something soft. Her thick hair drapes around me like a curtain, obscuring my view, but if my guess is right, this must be Yejin's chest.
The soft, pliable sensation of her breasts feels pretty good. In this world where gender dynamics are reversed, I wondered if women's breasts would be hard and muscular, but thankfully, my fears were unfounded.
They're soft, yielding under my fingers' pressure, then bouncing back with elasticity. The texture is quite pleasant.
"Hanaeum…"
Yejin, who had been relentlessly kissing me, pauses and looks down at me, her body still hovering over mine.
With her jet-black hair, she reminds me of a German Shepherd. Sharp eyes, a cold demeanor, and that thick, dark hair—if a German Shepherd were personified, wouldn't it look like this?
Her posture, leaning over me with her back arched, resembles a hunting dog preparing to pounce. She's crouched, ready to leap at her prey, staring down at me.
It's as if the hunting dog, ready to tear into its prey at its master's command, is annoyed that the prey beneath it dared to resist unexpectedly.
I release her breasts and place my hands back on the floor. As I push, her breasts deform but return to their rounded shape.
Unable to resist gravity, Yejin's soft breasts press against me. They feel as good as they did in my hands, but that's not the main issue right now.
Something's seriously fucked up.
I can't exactly explain what or how, but I feel something indescribably fucked up unfolding.
Her pitch-black eyes stare down at me. Meeting those eyes, like a bottomless pit without a speck of light, I instinctively turn my head.
Did I piss her off by touching her? Should I have just let her keep kissing me? Or… damn it, should I have moaned something like, "Oh, big sis, I'm dying…" to make her feel good?
I don't know what each choice would have led to, but I'm certain that any option would've been better than trying to push her away.
The black hunting dog atop me glares down at her prey. Though she doesn't show it outwardly, she's clearly pissed off by the prey's unexpected resistance.
Crunch…
I hear her teeth grinding. In her dark eyes, I catch a fleeting spark, like flint striking. In that brief moment, I see it—and then, Yejin's hands roughly grip my throat.
"…Guh… Kegh…"
It happens so suddenly that I can't resist. I grab her hands, trying to pry them off my neck, but they won't budge.
The overwhelming physical disparity and the advantage of her pressing down from above with her full body weight make it impossible for me to stop her.
The crude, filthy act of forcing her saliva into my mouth moments ago feels like paradise compared to the merciless strength of Yejin's grip on my throat.
Her thumb and index finger press particularly hard, likely targeting my carotid artery—one of the body's most critical weak points. Completely at her mercy, I'm utterly powerless.
I can't breathe properly. My vision narrows, and Yejin's figure blurs. They say when you're dying, sounds fade, and your consciousness slips away, don't they?
The strength in my hands, clutching her arms to pull them off, begins to fade. My hands, which were gripping hers, go limp and slide down.
Am I going to die like this? What a ridiculous death. Choked to death just for refusing sex? Damn it, there's no death more pathetic than this.
"Hek… Hek…"
My darkened vision clears. Yejin's blurry figure comes into sharp focus, and the sounds around me become distinct again. The oxygen flooding my mouth feels like cold water, sharpening my consciousness as blood starts flowing to my hands and feet again.
But Yejin's hands are still around my throat. She tightens her grip again. My vision blurs, sounds become muffled as if I'm underwater, and my consciousness fades. I want to flail my hands and feet, but I can't move properly.
Like a cockroach dosed with poison, all I can do is twitch weakly.
Then… she loosens her grip again, staring down at me silently as I writhe in pain.
Looking into her eyes, I understand why she's choking me.
She's experimenting with me…
She's testing how long I can endure being choked, measuring when my consciousness will break, when I'll become half-dead.
That must be it. It's an instinctive realization.
She's definitely conducting some kind of experiment, seeing how long I can hold out under her grip.
The proof? She doesn't choke me until I completely lose consciousness. Right when I'm on the verge of passing out, she loosens her grip, doesn't she?
Maybe… Yejin is also enjoying watching me struggle under her chokehold.
The thought crosses my mind: maybe she feels a sense of omnipotence, controlling every aspect of me, even my life and death. That might be what's thrilling her.
As if to confirm whether I'm right or wrong, Yejin tightens her grip on my throat again. My consciousness fades, and my mind goes blank.
This time, I decide not to resist and let her do what she wants. If I'm right, she'll loosen her grip before I pass out…
My instincts scream at me to fight, but with desperate resolve, I suppress my twitching hands and feet and look at Yejin.
Fine, go ahead. You're treating me like a toy, but from now on, things won't go your way.
This is a game of chicken. Either Yejin releases my throat before I lose consciousness, or she keeps choking me until I suffocate. One of the two.
If I win this game… I can protect my dignity and pride. If I push back just a little harder, she'll stop treating me like this.
Yejin just wants to see me struggle beneath her.
If I stop resisting and stay still, maybe she won't torment me like this again. Maybe she'll treat me more like a person, as an equal. I'm not Yejin's plaything.
"…"