Mom caught me in the living room that afternoon, her face glowing with the kind of happiness I hadn't seen in years. She was holding a fabric swatch in one hand, her eyes sparkling as she looked at me.
"Amelia," she said, her voice soft but filled with excitement. "I want you to be my bridesmaid."
The words hit me like a stone to the chest. Bridesmaid. As if I was supposed to smile, dress up, and pretend like I was celebrating something that felt like betrayal. My throat tightened instantly.
I shook my head. "No, Mom… I can't."
Her smile faltered. "Why not, honey? It would mean so much to me if you stood by my side."
But all I could hear was the word wedding echoing in my skull, sharp and cruel. This wasn't just her day—it was my nightmare. I didn't want to see Matt standing there, smiling like he belonged. I didn't want to act like I was happy when inside I was breaking apart.
"I don't want to be part of it," I said, my voice colder than I meant. "I just… I can't."
Before she could say another word, I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the house. I didn't stop until I reached my best friend's place, where I collapsed onto her bed and finally let the tears pour out.
She held me without asking questions, just the way she always did. And for the first time, I said the words I had been swallowing for weeks.
"I don't want to be part of that wedding," I sobbed, my voice breaking. "I don't want to stand there and pretend I'm okay with Matt being in our lives. I can't do it… I just can't."
Her arms wrapped tighter around me, and I cried harder, the kind of crying that left my chest aching and my face hot.
Because it wasn't just about the wedding. It was about everything—about fathers who left, about men I could never trust, and about the one person I loved most choosing happiness that didn't include me.
And finally, I broke.
"I don't want to be part of that wedding," I choked out between sobs. "I can't stand there and smile while Mom gives her life to him. I can't pretend like Matt is the answer to everything when all he does is remind me of what I'll never have."
Katherine's hand stilled on my back, but her silence told me to keep going. And so I did.
"My father left before I was even born," I whispered, my voice trembling. "Do you know what that feels like, Kat? To be rejected before you even take your first breath? My mom was pregnant with me, and he already wanted nothing to do with us. He told her I was a mistake. He called me a bastard before I even had a chance to live."
The words cut like glass in my throat, but I forced them out. Tears blurred my vision, dripping hot onto the blanket.
"He never came. Not once. Not on my birthdays, not when I was sick, not even the day I took my first steps. From day one, I was fatherless—denied, unwanted. And now… now Mom wants me to pretend like Matt can just walk in and fix everything?"
I looked up at Katherine through swollen eyes, my voice breaking apart.
"How am I supposed to stand there as her bridesmaid, smiling, clapping, when the word family makes me want to scream? How am I supposed to welcome another man when the first one already ruined me?"
Katherine's eyes softened, glassy with unshed tears. She reached for my hands, squeezing them tight, but I wasn't done.
"I hate that she wants me in that wedding," I whispered, my voice shaking. "I hate that she doesn't understand that every time I look at Matt, I don't see him—I see him. The man who never wanted me. The man who made sure I grew up knowing I wasn't good enough to be loved by my own father."
The sob that tore out of me then was raw, ugly, unstoppable. Katherine pulled me against her chest, holding me like I was breaking apart in her arms. And maybe I was.
Because for the first time, I wasn't just crying about the wedding.
I was crying about my entire life.
I wiped at my face, but the tears kept streaming no matter how hard I tried to stop them. My voice cracked as I turned to Katherine, my chest heaving.
"Do you know the funny thing, Kate? " He lives his life every single day without bothering to call me. Not once. Not even for a second."
"Why would he hate me so much, Kate? My own father…" My own father called me a bastard. He called me unwanted. He made sure I grew up knowing I was a mistake he never wanted to claim."
"And yet, he's out there somewhere—building a family, smiling, giving his love to children who aren't me. How is that fair? Why was I not enough of a daughter to him? What did I do wrong?"
Katherine's eyes shone with tears, but she didn't interrupt. She just let me pour everything out.
I drew in a shaky breath, lifting my gaze to the ceiling as if the answers were written there. "And now Mom wants me to forget all of that. To pretend it never happened. To sit in her wedding, dress pretty, smile for the pictures, and act like everything is okay. She wants me to accept Matt like he's supposed to fix me. But how? How am I supposed to accept another man into my life when the first one already destroyed me?"
My voice broke on the last word, and I folded into Katherine's arms, my body trembling as the tears came harder. I wasn't just crying anymore—I was unraveling. Every wound I had buried was open again, bleeding all at once.
And for the first time, I said it out loud, not just to Katherine, but to myself:
"I was never enough for him. I was never enough."