After all the incident that happen lately , I just lost all interest in sports and studies . I just couldn't keep up with the class .
My relationship with my friend has gotten a bit complicated . Hana and I didn't talk much anymore . It felt like we'd become strangers again — and honestly , I kind of preferred it that way .
Since I didn't feel like studying and was feeling a little lonely , I ended up turning to my favourite person — Nadia .
I texted her everything — the bet , the prank , and how things were with my friends . At first , she seemed a bit down , giving me the silent treatment . But after a while , I think I cleared up whatever misunderstanding she had . Still , she started to distance herself from me , maybe because she didn't want me to get too clingy .
But then, I fell asleep ,
When I woke up , the sun was already down . The clock showed 6 : 32 pm . "Great , Half the day gone ."
I dragged myself out of bed , grabbed my towel , and took a quick shower . My bag sat untouched in the corner — books still stacked neatly , like they were waiting for motivation to exist .
After getting ready , I headed down to the cafeteria . The place was noisy , as always . Plates clattered , chairs scraped , voices overlapped . I ate without talking to anyone — just me , rice , and silence .
When evening came , I went to the surau for Maghrib and Isya' .The air outside was cool . Peaceful . For a while , I felt calm .
But during prep time , that calm didn't last . The words in my book blurred . Nothing stayed in my head . Everyone else seemed busy revising , pens tapping , pages turning — and there I was , staring blankly at the same paragraph for twenty minutes .
I sighed and reached for my phone . My hand moved before I even thought about it .I opened her chat .
Aizat : You awake ?
Nadia : I am , why ?
Aizat : Just felt like talking. Don't feel like studying .
Nadia : You never do .
I smiled at that . She always knew how to make fun of me in the simplest way .
Aizat : Maybe , but it's quiet tonight .
Nadia : Quiet means peace , enjoy it .
Aizat : Peace feels lonely sometimes .
Nadia : … You really can't stay still , can you ?
There was a short pause. I could almost imagine her typing , deleting , typing again .
Nadia : Just don't get too clingy , okay ?
That word again "Clingy"
I didn't know if she was teasing or warning me .
Aizat : I'll try not to .
Nadia : Good . Sleep early then .
Aizat : You too .
I put my phone face down and leaned back .
Her words lingered longer than they should've .
Maybe she was right — maybe I was getting too used to her being there .
I didn't feel like studying , but I knew I had to — for my future , my family, and maybe … just maybe , for someone .Yet somehow , I still fell asleep .
A friend shook me awake , saying the dorm was open . I packed my things , dragged myself to my room , and lay down . Sleep came quickly , but not before a small sigh of frustration slipped out . The rest of the day goes without any more interesting events .
The next day ,
I woke up and didn't feel like going to school — then remembered it was the weekend . I got off the bed and took a shower . It was still early , before Subuh .
After praying Tahajjud and Taubat , I found myself reciting a dua — for my success , my family's well-being …But somewhere in between , I also recited one for her .Her success . Her health . Her family .
The azan for Subuh echoed softly from the masjid nearby , its call spreading through the quiet morning air .
I stood , folded my sajadah , placed it inside my locker , locked it , and headed to the surau .
The cool morning air brushed against my skin as I entered .When the imam began the prayer , I joined in — calm , focused , and at peace .
After praying , it was still early , so I decided to recite some Quran . I actually felt at peace that morning .
I actually wanted to forget the conversation we had yesterday .
I don't even know why I got so emotional — it's not like me .
It felt like there was someone else inside me , someone kinder , someone who actually cared .
He cared too much — about her smile , her words , the way she talked .But when she said , "Just don't get too clingy, okay ?" something inside me sank .
I told myself to calm down , to brush it off like I always do . But deep down , I knew I couldn't .
Maybe I could change … But who am I kidding ?
This isn't a story where Aizat Fayyaz suddenly becomes someone new .
I went back to the dorm and asked my friend to join me for some football practice . The sound of the ball hitting the goalpost kept my mind busy for a while . After a few rounds , we both got hungry , took a short break , and headed to the cafeteria . To my friend , I probably looked fine — just another ordinary day . But deep inside , my thoughts kept circling back to her .
And then , to my surprise , she texted me first .
At first , I didn't want to reply … but I lost to myself and ended up doing it anyway .
Nadia : HALO ! Are you up yet ?
Aizat : Ye , wassup ?
Nadia : ?
Aizat : Wat ?
Nadia : Umm … you don't usually "wassup" me . Are you okay ?
Aizat : Yea , why ?
Nadia : You seem off . Dry ?
I didn't want her to know I was still down about yesterday . So I tried to reply the way I normally would .
Aizat : Nope , dry ? What are you talking about ?
Nadia : Fine then , whatever ...
Did she notice ?
Nadia : Don't say I didn't notice .
Aizat : Notice what ? My charm ?
Did she atcually ?..
Nadia : Haha , you wish . You just … sound different .
Aizat : Maybe I'm just sleepy . Haven't had breakfast yet .
Nadia : Oh ? So breakfast fixes moods now ?
Aizat : If it's made by you , maybe ?
Nadia : Smooth , but flattery won't save you , you're hiding something .
Aizat : You sure you're not overthinking it ?
Nadia : Nope . I know you , Aizat . When you go all short-text like that , something's up.
I stared at the screen for a moment . She was right — but I didn't want to admit it . So I typed back ,
Aizat : Maybe I'm just tired , just finished practice after all .
Nadia : Practice ?
Aizat : You know ? Football ?
Nadia : Hmm… alright . But don't go pretending to be okay all the time , okay ?
Her text made me pause . She cared — and somehow , that made me feel worse and better at the same time .
Aizat : Got it . Now stop being all serious , it's too early for that .
Nadia : Fine . Then cheer up , mister moody .
I smiled faintly at the screen . She always knew how to pull me back , even when I didn't want to be saved .
Nadia had always been the type to trust people at their word .If someone said they were fine , she'd believe them — no questions asked .So when I told her I was okay , she didn't press further .Maybe part of me wished she would ...
I stared at the screen, the blinking cursor mocking me .I could've told her the truth — that I wasn't fine, that something about her words yesterday still echoed in my head — but what good would that do ?She didn't need to carry my feelings like some burden. So instead, I typed something random .
Aizat : What are you doing right now ?
Just to keep the conversation going .Just to feel like things were normal again .
We chatted for a while , but eventually , the conversation went quiet again .Maybe we both ran out of words … and I was just scared to say what I really felt .
I stared at the blinking cursor one last time before locking my phone . Maybe silence was the best answer for now . But deep down , I knew — silence never lasted long between us .