"STOOOOOOOP!!!!!!"
With Rehn's broken-loudspeaker roar, the skies of Dressrosa seemed to tremble three times over.
Wild winds whipped around Rehn's tattered tuxedo and blew Kaido's unruly hair everywhere.
Kaido maintained his downward smashing posture, but the rage in those bell-sized eyes gradually shifted into a deep, soul-level… bewilderment.
He had lived this long.
Attempted suicide countless times.
Fought the Navy Headquarters head-on.
Drank and battled with people like and Shanks.
But he swore, even if Roger came back to life, nobody had ever dared raise a hand at him mid-finishing move and yell "TIME OUT."
And the reason was… calculating damages?
"You… what did you just… say?"
Kaido's voice sounded like millstones grinding rocks together.
His brain felt overloaded.
The alcohol haze had mostly cleared, but somehow this fat man's logic had confused him all over again.
"I said STOP! Are you deaf?!"
Rehn gave absolutely zero respect to a Yonko.
At this moment, his fear of "going bankrupt" and "being punished by Lord Renzo" completely overwhelmed his fear of Kaido.
He shoved aside the kanabo radiating terrifying heat with all the disgust of someone pushing away a burning fire poker.
"Do you know what this swing means?!"
Rehn pointed at the ruins below, trembling in grief and fury.
"It means that useless idiot Doflamingo's GDP for the second half of the year is gone! It means the three shiploads of premium wine ordered by G-5, the two tons of top-grade cigars, and Lord Renzo's custom silk pajamas… all turned into AIR!!"
"That's MONEY! REAL MONEY!"
"That swing of yours didn't hit the ground, it smashed our G-5 financial report! My end-of-year bonus!!"
The angrier Rehn got, the more he wanted to grab Kaido by the beard.
"Can you afford to pay for this?! HUH?!"
"You broke bum wearing nothing but one pair of pants!"
"Even if we sold you to a circus to jump through flaming hoops, it wouldn't cover even one zero of this debt!!"
...
Silence.
From the rubble, Law's jaw had dropped.
Zoro's sword hand trembled slightly as he stared at Rehn cursing out a Yonko like a raging fishwife.
For the first time, his understanding of what a "strong person" was began to waver.
'Could this… also be an advanced application of Haki?'
"You…"
Kaido's chest rose and fell violently.
The white vapor blasting from his nostrils nearly formed clouds in Rehn's face.
The fury of being humiliated, looked down upon, and called poor was accumulating in his veins, ready to explode catastrophically.
"Good… very good…"
Kaido tightened his grip on the kanabo.
The muscles in his arms bulged like dragons while black Haki once again wrapped around the weapon wildly.
"If you care so much about money…"
"Then I'll smash you… and all this scrap metal… into meat paste together!!"
"DIE FATSO!!"
BOOM!!!
Conqueror's Haki erupted once more, even more violently than before.
The clouds overhead shattered completely as if the apocalypse had arrived!
The destruction club was about to descend for real and utterly pulverize Rehn.
And at that critical moment, purupuru puru.
A crisp, pleasant, absurdly penetrating Den Den Mushi ringtone suddenly rang out from Rehn's only surviving pants pocket.
The sound seemed tiny amidst the roaring thunder and screaming Haki.
Yet somehow unbearably piercing.
Like a duck quacking in the middle of a death symphony.
"Huh?!"
Rehn, who had been preparing desperately to defend himself, instantly froze the moment he heard the ringtone.
Then, his fierce expression turned paper-white in an instant.
That was true fear.
A fear ten thousand times greater than facing Kaido's kanabo.
"L... L-Lord?!"
The fat on Rehn's body trembled violently.
Ignoring the kanabo about to smash his skull, he yanked out a golden sleeping Den Den Mushi from his pocket with faster-than-light reflexes.
Then, before everyone's stunned eyes, he performed an absolutely shocking act.
He pointed at Kaido's nose and screamed:
"SHUT UP!!!! DON'T MOVE!!!!!!"
"IT'S A CALL!! A CALL FROM MY LORD RENZO!!!"
"If anyone makes a sound, if anyone creates even the tiniest bit of noise, I'LL DETONATE THE ENTIRE ISLAND'S UNDERGROUND ARSENAL AND WE'LL ALL DIE TOGETHER!!!"
Kaido froze.
His kanabo once again halted in midair, less than half a meter from Rehn's head.
Not because he feared the threat.
But because, the absurdity of "nothing is more important than answering the phone" had completely short-circuited his brain.
It was like two legendary masters dueling atop the Forbidden City, sword energy everywhere, life and death hanging by a thread, and suddenly one of their mothers called them home for dinner, so they actually stopped to answer the call.
This maneuver burned out Kaido's brain.
While Kaido stood there stunned, Rehn already answered the Den Den Mushi with trembling hands.
Click.
The call connected.
Instantly, Rehn's vicious face bloomed into a smile brighter than flowers and sweeter than honey.
His voice became unbelievably gentle and servile, even slightly cutesy.
"Hellooo? Lord Renzo? It's Rehn~"
"You're awake? Did you sleep well? Did the noise here disturb you? Your subordinate deserves death! I'll immediately-"
"Rehn."
From the other side came that familiar lazy, sleepy, slightly hoarse voice.
Just those two words made the frozen atmosphere turn strange.
"Yes! Please give your orders!"
Rehn bent ninety degrees at the waist even though Renzo couldn't see him.
"How's the situation… going?"
Renzo sounded absentminded.
"My sweet shrimp, my pajamas, and that annoying flamingo… all taken care of?"
"Uh…"
Cold sweat instantly poured down Rehn's face.
He looked around at the devastation.
At the half-dead Donquixote Doflamingo.
At Kaido standing there holding a club with an expression that screamed are you screwing with me?
Handled?
This wasn't handled.
This was a complete explosion of disaster.
But he dared not lie.
In G-5, deceiving Lord Renzo was more terrifying than dying in battle.
"R-reporting to Lord Renzo…"
Rehn swallowed hard and forced himself to speak honestly yet tactfully.
"There's been… a tiny… very small accident."
"An accident?"
Renzo's voice rose slightly with annoyance.
"I remember saying I hate accidents."
"Yes! Yes! I understand, but…"
Rehn glanced at Kaido and gritted his teeth.
"But… Kaido showed up."
"Kaido?"
Silence lingered for a second.
Then Renzo spoke again in the tone of someone hearing boring gossip.
"Who? That horned guy who likes suicide and gets drunk enough to piss everywhere… Beast Kaido?"
"PFFFT!"
Law couldn't help but laugh.
'What kind of description was that?!'
'Pissing everywhere?!'
Kaido's face instantly turned black as the bottom of a pot.
The kanabo in his hands creaked violently.
"Y-yes… that Yonko Kaido."
Rehn carefully explained.
"He… fell from the sky looking for Doflamingo over the SMILE fruits, and then… fighting broke out."
"Right now… he's standing in front of me with a kanabo saying he'll smash me into meat paste, and then head to G-5 to… uh… slightly twist your head off."
Though tattling, Rehn didn't exaggerate much.
Reality was already outrageous enough.
After speaking, Rehn shut his eyes tightly and awaited instructions.
However, the other end fell silent again.
This silence lasted around five seconds.
During those five seconds, Dressrosa became so quiet a pin drop could be heard.
Even Kaido narrowed his eyes and listened carefully, wanting to hear how the legendary "Haiiroyo" would respond to his provocation.
Five seconds later, the Den Den Mushi opened its mouth.
And produced a sound that nearly made everyone collapse on the spot.
"Haaaaaaaahhhhh… yawn…"
A long yawn, complete with sleepy vibrato.
Then came the sound of a straw sucking the bottom of an empty cup.
"So what?"
Renzo's voice dripped with disappointment and boredom.
"I thought it was something important."
"Isn't it just a drunk causing trouble? Why are you making such a big fuss?"
Rehn froze.
Kaido froze.
Everyone froze.
That was a Yonko!
The world's strongest creature!
A walking catastrophe capable of destroying nations!
Yet in Renzo's mouth, he became "just a drunk causing trouble"?
The attitude was as casual as talking about some idiot neighbor kid breaking windows again!
"M-my lord… that's Kaido…"
Rehn weakly reminded him.
"I know it's Kaido."
Renzo sounded irritated.
"What, does he have three heads or six arms? Is he worth me getting out of bed for?"
"Rehn, have you spent too long in G-5? Did your courage shrink?"
"You still need me to teach you how to deal with this level of problem?"
"Uh…"
Cold sweat poured from Rehn again.
"Please enlighten me, Lord Renzo!"
"Tch, troublesome."
Rustling came from the other end, as if Renzo had shifted into a more comfortable sleeping position.
"If he came for fruits, tell him there are no fruits. If he wants life… no, if he wants money, there isn't any."
"If he broke my things, make him pay."
"If he refuses…"
Renzo's tone turned slightly colder.
Only slightly.
As casually as discussing dinner.
"Then beat him until he pays."
"And if you can't beat him…"
"Tell him I'm sleepy. Very sleepy."
"If he hasn't left by sunset… or hasn't fully paid up…"
"I'll come over personally."
"But…"
Renzo paused.
An eerie chill seeped into his voice.
"If I have to come personally… then it won't just be compensation anymore."
"I'll skin him and make a carpet."
"Saw off his horns and make teacups."
"Pull out his dragon tendons and use them as guitar strings for Uta."
"Understood?"
"U-understood!!"
A chill shot from Rehn's feet to the top of his head.
Excitement.
Fear.
Dominance!
Too dominant!
This was Renzo!
Yonko, Goko, whatever, if you disturb his sleep, he'll skin you and turn you into a carpet!
That overwhelming arrogance that treated the world's heroes like nothing made Rehn worship him completely.
"Alright, hanging up."
Renzo's voice became lazy again.
"Remember, don't let him run away. At minimum, get compensation from him. Otherwise I'll deduct it from your salary."
Beep, beep, beep.
The call ended.
Rehn still held the Den Den Mushi.
But his back slowly straightened.
The fear and anxiety on his fat face visibly faded away.
Replacing it, was unprecedented confidence.
And the arrogant madness of a man backed by an overwhelming supporter.
He carefully tucked away the Den Den Mushi.
Then raised his head toward Kaido, whose face had darkened enough to drip water.
"You heard him, old drunk."
Rehn straightened his torn collar and grinned ear to ear.
"My lord said…"
"You don't even qualify to make him get out of bed."
"Now you only have two choices."
Rehn raised two fingers.
"First: pay compensation immediately and get lost!"
"Second-"
Lightning exploded from his body once more.
His eyes turned vicious.
"Stay here and wait to become a carpet for my lord!!"