29th October, 2021.
Dear Diary,
It's been a while, hasn't it? I missed you. Did you miss me? I'll take your silence as a "Yes." Thank you. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
So… tiny update. Mom is now convinced that I am mentally unstable. Very rude of her, honestly. I mean, I wanted her to believe that I wasn't fine but her thinking I'm not quite alright in the head is a bit too much.
Don't you agree?
I've not had time to talk to you because she's been dragging to a therapist every day after school since the dinner incident.
She kept muttering something about her daughter having social and emotional problems.
I know damn well she wasn't talking about me.
The therapist, Dr. Allan, asked me to rate my hallucinations from 1 to 10. I wasn't even aware that I was hallucinating.
Because I wasn't. Dr. Allan is a quack.
He kept asking me ridiculous questions that I don't even want to bother to remember. He asked me if I think people are watching me.
Of course, people are watching me, Dr. Allan. I'm gorgeous and interesting.
He kept asking his questions though. He asked if Adrian knows me, and if he's ever spoken to me willingly. Even if he knows my name.
Like, doctor, please. Those are unnecessary details. Relationships are built on connection not strange technicalities like "Does he know you exist?"
I'll have you know, diary, that before he moved in, he used to frequently greet me in school.
Anyways, Mom says she's going to keep observing me. She thinks I've changed quite a lot over the last few days.
In her words, I "used to be so gloomy and negative all the time, and now I'm barely keeping it together."
Whatever that meant.
More importantly, Adrian hasn't been stepping out at his usual time. I wake up early every day but he never appears until like five minutes before school and then he zooms off with that mysterious lady in the car.
And I can't help but wonder if he was avoiding me.
But then again, I don't think he knows about my morning routine.
That's not all, though. Whenever I try to approach him in school, he always runs away. Even if he's in class.
These interactions mean but one thing.
HE KNOWS I EXIST. (Dr. Allan can choke.)
The Halloween festival is in two days, it's the perfect setting for a love confession. And I've already chosen my costume. I'm going as a vampire.
Though… now that I think about it… Mom mentioned something about the atmosphere being awkward that night because it seemed like Adrian kept trying to stay away from me.
And his outburst was 'just unneighborly,' was what she said.
I still think he was trying to throw our parents off our trail.
He's so ridiculously shy.
Speaking of boys, one talked to me today in school.
He asked me out to the festival, which takes place in two days, I have no idea why.
Oh, wait. I do. He told me why.
"You've been acting quite interesting since Monday and I want to get to know you before I lose my chance."
But diary, I think Mom is taking this whole therapy thing way too seriously. Today, she confiscated my newly bought binoculars. Like, what am I supposed to use to appreciate Adrian from afar?
I do wish you could talk back to me, diary. It gets a little lonely when I don't hear your voice.
Mom thinks I'm going insane, but you understand me, right?
You understand me so perfectly, you always listen and never interrupt. You're honestly the most reliable relationship I've ever had. Sometimes, I think if you could talk, you would tell me that I'm doing great. You'd say Adrian is just overwhelmed by destiny and it's not my fault he has slow emotional processing.
Right?
Anyway, I said no to the boy who asked me to the festival. I'm a very loyal woman.
Love takes time, and sometimes running shoes.
Mom is calling me downstairs. Be right back.
:
Mom set me up.
She called my future mother in law here to 'have a talk' with me without letting me know in advance.
Adrian's mom, Emma, held my hands in hers. She sat me down on the sofa, and she looked very worried.
"Layla, sweetheart," she began in that gentle voice that adults use whenever they're about to destroy your entire sense of reality. "I think there's been some… misunderstandings about Adrian."
She squeezed my hand.
"I noticed you've been very… interested in Adrian," she continued. "But he's feeling very uncomfortable, a little frightened, even."
I smiled. "Oh, I get what you mean. He must be frightened of how deeply he feels for me. Boys get overwhelmed sometimes."
Emma's eyes did something strange and I think she was trying not to cry from how moving my words were.
Mom, however, had to ruin everything. She cleared her throat and said, "You've been invading his privacy by spying on him."
Of course, I felt utterly insulted.
"Admiring someone from afar is called romantic observation. Shakespeare would agree," I argued.
But then Emma took a deep breath and said something utterly heartbreaking.
"Adrian informed me about your little accident in the school cafeteria. Honey, he didn't even know you were the same girl."
I laughed, obviously.
Emma placed a hand on my shoulder as she looked at me with her big, beady eyes. "Lyra, dear. Your Mom has informed me that you used to be quite depressed up until this week, and I'm glad Adrian's moving in next door has that effect on you, but you need to cut my son some slack. He doesn't like you."
I remembered her exact words because I was recording it on my phone. I'm always recording, just in case either Adrian or his family hand me a marriage proposal and then forget all about it. They seem to have periodic amnesia in that family.
Anyway, I nodded a lot and smiled a lot and eventually, the woman left.
Can you believe these grownups, diary?
Don't they realize that people recognize each other on a soul level before the brain catches up?
The Halloween festival is in two days, and I haven't gotten my vampire outfit yet.
Guess we're going shopping tomorrow, diary. You and me.
Love, Layla💛