So here we are, all piled together in one giant cuddle pile, ready to watch some mindless comedy and enjoy our cozy blanket fort, when Selene suddenly sits up straight.
"Wait wait wait!" She bounces excitedly, nearly elbowing me in the process. "What if instead of a movie, we do a try not to laugh challenge?"
"Oh, those are still a thing?" Bianca asks, mildly interested.
"Sounds fun," I say.
"Oh my goodness!" Mom exclaims, delighted. "I haven't done one of those in years! That sounds wonderful, sweetie."
Bianca's eyes get this dangerous glint. "You're all going down."
"OHHH!" Selene's practically vibrating now. "And we should make it a drinking game! Every time someone laughs, they take a shot!"
I turn to look at her. "Wait what? Why are we making this a drinking game?"
"Because someone—" she points dramatically at Bianca, "—wants to watch a horror movie later, and I'll be way less scared if I'm drunk!" She grins triumphantly.
"Hmm, smart," Bianca admits.
"Wait." Selene's face falls as she looks at me. "But you can't drink! You're still all beat up!"
"I'm not—"
"Honey, she's right," Mom says gently. "You shouldn't be drinking while injured."
"Okay, but that's so boring," Bianca cuts in. "He's just gonna sit there watching us get wasted?"
Mom's quiet for a second behind me. "Well... I suppose one or two shots wouldn't hurt. Just a tiny amount though, okay Adam?"
"Just don't laugh!" Selene says brightly. "Problem solved!"
"Oh wow, thanks Selene. Revolutionary advice."
"You're welcome!" She smiles mischievously.
The next fifteen minutes are a flurry of activity. Selene and Bianca gather shot glasses along with regular cups and a pitcher of water. Mom disappears to her room and returns with not one but two bottles of honey whiskey. And I connect my phone to the TV so we can search YouTube for "try not to laugh" video compilations. When it's all over, we've transformed our blanket fort into what looks like a college dorm room.
"Mom," I say, eyeing the bottles. "That's a lot of whiskey."
"It was on sale," she says defensively.
When everyone's settled back in, we rearrange ourselves into a semicircle. Selene plants herself on my left, I'm in the middle, Bianca's on my right, and Mom's at the end.
"Okay, so what counts as a laugh?" Bianca asks, already looking competitive.
"No sounds at all," I say. "Any noise, you drink."
"What about smiling?" Selene asks. "If you smile you lose?"
"Jeez, you want us in the hospital?" Bianca stares at her. "We'd all be blackout drunk in ten minutes."
"That's the plan!"
"That's a terrible—"
"Girls," Mom says warmly but firmly. "How about we start with Adam's rule, and if that's too easy, we can try Selene's?"
"Fine," Bianca mutters.
"Yay! Okay, I'm ready!" Selene claps her hands.
I hit play on the first video.
The compilation starts with a cat absolutely destroying a Christmas tree. Then a baby laughing at a dog. Then someone faceplanting while trying to jump over a fence.
Everyone's busy scanning each other's faces, trying to spot who's about to crack.
Selene keeps biting her lip, her shoulders shaking slightly with the effort of not laughing. Bianca looks completely unbothered, with just her usual smirk in place.
Mom, though? Mom is struggling.
A video of a puppy falling asleep in its food bowl comes on, and Mom lets out this soft, delighted "Aww!" before clapping her hand over her mouth.
"That counts!" Selene points.
"That's a sound, Mom," Bianca says, grinning.
"Oh, but that was just—it was so cute…"
"Rules are rules," I say, trying not to laugh at her guilty expression. "Take your shot."
Mom sighs but takes it like a champ, barely wincing. "This is harder than I thought."
Three videos later, she laughs outright at a compilation of people falling. Not even falling badly, just like, gently toppling over in increasingly ridiculous ways.
"Mom, you're terrible at this," Selene giggles.
"I'm having fun!" Mom protests, taking her second shot. "Isn't that what matters?"
The compilation rolls on. A video of a dog flopping down backwards plays, and I see Selene's resolve crumble in real-time.
"Pfft—" She slaps her hand over her mouth, but it's too late. "Okay okay, I laughed!"
"Drink!" Bianca points at her.
Selene's still giggling as she takes her shot. "That dog looked so silly!"
Bianca and I remain undefeated. She's just sitting there with that infuriating smirk, barely even reacting to the videos.
This cannot stand.
When Bianca's focused on the TV, I reach over and poke her in the side, right where I know she's ticklish.
"Eep!" She makes this tiny squeak that's so high-pitched and un-Bianca-like that I almost break right there.
I immediately look up at the ceiling. Wow, it's a fascinating ceiling. Really. This ceiling is truly very ceiling.
Silence.
"Adam." Bianca's voice is dangerous.
"What? I didn't do anything."
"I'm going to fucking murder you."
"Language!" Mom giggles from beside her.
"You're dead," Bianca says, but she's already reaching for a shot glass. She pours it, maintains eye contact with me, and downs it without breaking her stare.
Okay, that's both kinda intimidating, but also hot as hell.
"Worth it," I say.
"Oh, we're cheating now?" Selene asks, and suddenly she's poking my side.
I crack immediately, laughing. "HEY! I'm injured!"
"Should've thought of that before you cheated," Bianca says, completely unsympathetic.
"That's fair," I admit, taking my shot. It burns, but the honey makes it fairly pleasant.
After that, all bets are off.
Selene pokes me during a particularly boring video. I make faces at Bianca whenever she looks at me. Bianca waits until I'm taking a sip of water and whispers "penis" in my ear, making me almost spit everywhere. Mom keeps trying to tell us to behave but she's giggling too hard to be taken seriously.
An hour later, the first bottle is empty, and everyone except me is thoroughly drunk.
"I win." I say smugly.
"Fuck off," Bianca says, but she's grinning. "We were going easy on you."
Selene's completely abandoned any pretense of watching the TV at this point. She's got her head in my lap now, arms wrapped around my waist, holding on like I might float away if she lets go.
"Okay," I pat her head. "Come on, up. Time to get scared."
"Nooooo, comfy," she whines.
"Selene. The whole point of this was to get drunk for the horror movie, remember?"
"Fineee," she mumbles, sitting up. But instead of moving away, she just shifts to hug me from the side. "Hug!" she announces, squeezing me.
I wrap my arms around her because, what else am I going to do? "You're so clingy when you're drunk."
"Uh-huh!" She sounds proud of this fact. Then she pulls back slightly, looking up at me with those big pink eyes, face flushed. "That's okay, right? You don't mind?"
Her expression is so genuinely concerned that I can't help but smile. "Yeah, I don't mind."
"YAY!" She throws her arms up in celebration. "Love you, baby brother!"
Then she suddenly leans in and kisses me on the forehead.
Everything slows down.
Her lips are soft and warm against my forehead. The sweet scent of strawberries surrounds me completely. I can feel her breasts pressing into my chest through the thin fabric of her strawberry pajamas. The kiss lingers for just a heartbeat, maybe two, but it feels like forever.
Then she pulls back, beaming at me with this radiant, uninhibited smile, and I realize something with absolute certainty:
My drunk sisters are going to be the death of me.
This is going to be a very long night.