Nyxara
When I regained consciousness, I could see nothing but darkness. My other senses didn't tell me anything either. I can't feel, hear, or smell anything. I'm not sticking my tongue out to see if I can taste anything. I'm already one step away from the edge. I don't need that feedback to push me over. Oh my stars, please don't tell me that this body is in a coma and there is no way to wake me up! Angel did say the Nyxara in this life had died at the same time as I did. Was the body not saved in time? Am I going to be stuck in this body like a vegetable for the rest of my life? Just as my mental breakdown picked up speed, I heard the crinkling of leaves.
Next came the slithering feeling of being cold. The potent scent of something burnt and bitter invaded my nose making me sneeze and cry at the same time. The more the scent invaded my senses, the more fractured and hollow I felt. Sorrow clung to my tongue like bitter ashes. I felt like I was spiraling back to that moment before I took the pills in the bathtub. With my eyes still closed, I hugged my stiff legs to my chest and sobbed.
For what felt like hours, I sobbed until I suddenly caught a whiff of vanilla mixed with something nutty, spicy, and smoky. The sudden quiet caught me off guard but I let myself sink into it, embracing it as a balm for my mind and soul. I release a long sigh, as I move to stretch out my legs. It was then that I caught another whiff of the spicy nutty smoky vanilla scent again.
Sniffing to determine where it's coming from I twist to find its origin to be the jacket slumped behind me. Slowly I pull the jacket around me and breathe in the comforting yet enticing scent. It calms me down enough that I finally feel the fog clearing from my brain. I don't question that I no longer feel like sobbing while huffing this jacket.
Taking a moment to look around now that I've opened my eyes, I realize I'm sitting in the middle of a dense forest, illuminated only by the radiant glow of a grinning moon. This moon appears significantly larger than Earth's moon, casting a serene and calming aura over the surroundings. As I gaze upon the moon, a profound sense of tranquility washes over me, a desperately needed respite in this moment. I allow myself to fully immerse in this feeling, taking deep, cleansing breaths as I center myself on the present moment.
A quick prayer comes to mind as my brain fog completely dissipates. I embrace this new start and I will not make the same mistakes as before. I pray if there are any gods listening, I'll work hard and show you I'm deserving of this chance. All I ask is that I can be with my family again. Angel promised and I want to make sure she isn't going to go back on her word now that I'm here.
I waited a few minutes to see if I would be getting any answers. Hellfire, for all I know, gods do actually answer prayers here. When it appeared no answers would be given, my mind turned to the issue I needed rectified now. "How do I get out of this forest?" I softly muttered, which made my throat feel oddly sore. Putting that on the back burner for now, I looked around only to quickly come to the conclusion that I couldn't see an obvious path to get out of here from my seated position. "I guess I should try standing up. I can't keep sitting here, it's getting colder."
It takes me longer than I want to admit to get myself into a standing position. Unfortunately, I didn't do so without causing myself pain. Somehow, I ended up brushing my neck against the tree. The brief brush brought tears to my eyes; the pain was so sharp. Gently, I touched my neck to determine the damage and immediately pulled my fingers away. My neck is sore. What happened before her soul left?
Slowly but steadily, I work my way around the tree. I look around trying to spot a path. As I reach the other side, my gaze catches something hanging from a branch. It looks like a vine or rope. As if magnetized I can't pull my gaze away as my throat constricts and for a second I feel like I'm choking.
It lasted only for a moment but then my gaze lowers to the ground to find a knocked-over stool and what looks like a noose. My feet go numb and my throat constricts again for a blink. I lean against the tree trying to catch my breath so I don't pass out. With the moon overhead lighting the clearing, I glimpse how the other Nyx chose to leave this world. "She hung herself. What happened to her to make her want to hang herself?" Even though I don't have any memories about what brought my other self to the point of suicide, this body remembers. It trembles so much, I'm feeling lucky that I don't have a full bladder.
Pulling the collar of the jacket up to cover my nose, I close my eyes and breathe in my new scent drug. Put it on the back burner for now, Nyx. Get out of the forest, get somewhere safe then you can break down. I only have me, myself and I to depend on. I got this. One step at a time. Soon my mind is calm again and I turn my head the other way before I open my eyes again. I move to step away from the tree when my right hand touches something.
Looking over in increments so my eyes don't land on the hanging branch again, I see leaning against the tree near my hand is a long branch shaped into a staff. It isn't perfectly smooth, but the side branches have been removed. Taking the staff in hand, I use it to take a step away from the tree completely. Looking around everywhere except where this body must have been hanging not too long ago, I don't notice any kind woodland guardians waiting to introduce themselves to me.
"No guide, no system orientation—this is bullshit. I think I remember something about getting a grace period that would last a year but what good will that be if I spend most of it just trying to figure out the basics." I huff, puff and complain as I slowly drag this body in a direction that feels right.
"I didn't ask enough questions. Why would this be the moment that I was put into the body?" I lean against a nearby tree trying to catch my breath. I feel hot from all this moving but the moment I stop it feels like a freezing wind is trying to steal my warmth. I push myself to keep moving. I have pulled the jacket up to cover half my face so I can keep smelling the lovely calming scent that was helping me stay in my head.
I heard the running foot steps too late. There was nothing I could do to stop myself from colliding with the person running. As we crashed into one another, the person pulls me close shielding me from our fall.
Once everything finally stops moving, I push myself up to look down into the face of someone I never thought I would see breathing again. My tears fell onto his glasses as he seemed just as shocked to see me as I was to see him. "Moonbeam, Nyx thank the stars you are okay. You are okay, right? We suddenly got an anonymous message telling us to come pick you up from the woods. We feared the worst. I sense so much from you right now. It's so overwhelming." My second oldest brother, Aspen, sat up and held me as he rocked us back his tears slide down my neck, mingling with my own.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Aspen. I'm sorry. I will never not be sorry. You are Aspen right? I can learn a different name for you if I have to if your name isn't Aspen. Are you my brother? I need a tether here, bro. Please—talk to me. I've missed you and the others." I'm holding him and rocking with him. Then everything blurred. Aspen's arms tightened, his voice turning to static. The scent of herbs and the sensation of safety whispered that I was finally safe. So I let go.