Nyota
After we both changed our clothes, we met back up by Little Queen's veranda for a walk in the garden. It will be good to do a little Q & A while we digest dinner. I want her to get to know me. How I and not Malcolm was the father forgotten is a mystery I do not understand.
Obviously, I'm the more memorable parent. I don't blame her for not forgetting my Vaelorith (soul-match). She is too everything to be forgotten, and the fact that she gave me a daughter in her own image makes me love her even more deeply and obsessively.
Arm in arm, Little Queen and I walked the gardens quietly, both in our own thoughts. The memory of the day Nyxara was born will always be the second brightest and clearest memory of my life. We had been at our seaside estate celebrating Yule with the whole enclave, including the Crest Houses, our affiliated families, when Davi went into labor.
Even though I barely tolerate his presence most days, I was glad my ex-best friend Cornelius was there to help his twin sister deliver our baby girl. Malcolm and I were there for the whole nasty process. The things I can't unsee.
Normally I don't mind things being bloody, but not like that. I couldn't stop looking at Davi's down yonder without marveling at how bloody it had gotten this time around. Davi, of course, told me to stop acting like I hadn't seen her give birth three times before our baby girl.
I, of course, had to correct her that the other three just slid out her va-jaja like it was a slip and slide while Nyx acted like being born was an inconvenience she hadn't scheduled. Yet if we insisted she was to be born now she and her mother would be dressed in red. Davi laughed so hard the after birth just slid right out. Mal pretended he was not amused.
Anyway, after Zira cleaned her up, I would swear her hair was a lighter shade of my own storm blue and her eyes the same pale gold as mine, but then I blinked and she had hair similar to Davi and Mal's eyes. Everyone says it may have just been her essence settling in that made me think that. Which I agree could be the case, but my instincts tell me otherwise. Those same instincts also told me not to poke at the change that the truth will be revealed when it was time.
Looking down at the top of her head, I sense that the time for truths will soon be upon us. For better or for worse.
Pulling the shawl she got from Davi out of my pocket space, I wrap it around her shoulders just as she began to shiver. The grateful smile and the tighter hold on my arm make every effort to strengthen our bond worth it.
Each of her brothers has sides to them that carry my flavor but my Little Queen…I've always felt she is my offspring in a way the others aren't. Especially now after her suicide attempt. I can see her soul and fractured essence resonating with mine in a way that reminds me of… . Almost like her soul before was a substitute for this one.
If my suspicions are right, I will need to discuss with Lux, Aspen, and … Cornelius to determine how to handle this development. I do not think Nyxara is possessed or has been body-snatched, but neither can we not know who exactly we are dealing with. "It feels as if I've been waiting a long time for you." And it is driving me crazy that I'm not sure if you are who I suspect you to be.
"Did you say something, Azrail?" She asks softly, looking up at me with silver eyes that appear to be tinted with gold from the path lanterns.
"Just noting that the night feels cool and heavy with the hum of life." I give her a disarming smile and receive a mirror of that smile back. Of course, my smile shifted into a grin as my child calls me on my bullshit without saying a word. Her scent lifted for a moment — brighter, amused — and I let my aura settle deeper in return, matching her calm with my own.
I didn't stop my impulse to pull her in for a tight hug, that she returned after a brief delay. "You are learning social interactions wonderfully. I might have to recommend you be given permission for a short outing if you keep performing so well." My aura hummed in subtle approval, enough to let her instincts relax but not push her into submission. She didn't flinch. Progress.
As fireflies floated like sparks of magic, and the faint sound of Keir training our men in the distance, Nyx and I continued walking. At first, I didn't comment in an attempt to wait her out, but patience has never been a skill I use unless necessary. Her shoulders had become tight like she was bracing herself to say something.
"Questions?" I prompted when my mouth couldn't hold back the word for a moment longer. I gave her the illusion of space, keeping my hands folded behind my back and my eyes on our surroundings. She wasn't skilled enough yet to know that at my tier level, little in my surroundings could escape my notice when I chose to pay attention.
She hesitated, chewing on her lower lip. "How do I know if what I feel when I'm influenced by an aura is real or just me being influenced?" I almost laughed. Yet it made sense because of her recent lapses. "You won't. Not at first. Instincts lie. That's why you test it—over and over—until you know what's true and what is just noise."
Her brows knit in thought. "As an alpha, did you ever become…" she searched for the right word, "…caught by someone?"
For a moment, essence with the appearance of smoke, steel, and shadow flickered around me for a heartbeat. "Twice. First time, when I met your Nimra because she is my fated Velari. Second time, it was your Korran. He isn't stronger than me yet somehow he is more dominant. It took a while for me to accept this. With both of us being your Davi's fated Velari, we have since worked things out in a compromise."
The weight of the words hung there between us, until I softened it with a grin. "And trust me when I say you do not want to know what that compromise turned out to be."
She rolled her eyes, and the tension that was trying to build eased a fraction. Good. I hadn't meant to traumatize her. She didn't need to know about that unique aspect of my mating circle. The others may suspect but have never asked.
"So moving on, how does aura, scent, and essence work together?" she asked suddenly, glancing up at me. "They all seem… connected somehow."