***Content Warning:
+ Trauma recall
+ Vomiting
+ Sexual/bond-related imagery (bite, emptiness)
Aspen
[Monday, Umbrafall 1, 4310]
—Aspen's therapy room—
Nyx sat across from me at the low table, a travel mug of Korran's brew at her elbow, medical bands faintly pulsing. I've kept the room low-lit and warm. She seems tense, as if she is bracing for us to have a difficult session. Today's topic will be a tough one; nonetheless I'm hoping after the rapport we have developed over these past few weeks, it won't be detrimental to her recovery.
Yet I won't disregard her instincts. They have become scarily predictive. I inwardly brace myself, but outwardly, I project a sense of calm to help her feel safe.
To further help calm her agitated nerves, I lit a stick of my favorite incense and let us sit in the quiet until she is ready to begin. The subtle scent of sea salt and herbs wove through the space. I pushed the plate of snacks closer to her before I opened a novel Aunt Zira recommended to me while keeping an eye on her covertly.
Her shoulders slowly relaxed as she settled more into the cushion. She took a drink from her mug and ate a few cookies before meeting my eyes. She placed her arms on the table with a nod. I returned my book to my pocket space, giving her my full attention. I tapped the surface of my new table, activating the diagnostic array that connects her bands to the display screen in the table so we can both review her stats together.
I reviewed the readings and began our session, "Before we dive into the topic of the day… how are you feeling right now?" Her readings showed she has now reached a 60% sync ratio. Which is good but is also ahead of expectations. We are in uncharted territory with her condition, so I guess unexpected is expected in a way.
"I'm okay," she replied, her eyes smiling behind her mug. But her comprehensive essence system readings told a slightly different tale. It was under pressure, and I didn't know why. Possibly connected to the increased sync ratio, but I will need a deeper scan than the bands can do to determine the cause.
"Wonderful. As you can see, your sync ratio is steadily rising. With our current recovery plan working as hoped, I will advise everyone that we can keep our current momentum. Any questions?" I reached across the small table and placed a hand lightly against her wrist. Moonbeam shook her head. "Great. Now I'm going to do an essence scan to confirm the readings, an emotional scan to check for interference, then we can move on to today's topic. Sounds good?"
Moonbeam gave me a thumbs up with a small smile. Something is seriously off with her today. Lux didn't message saying anything went wrong during their session, so what is causing this tension in her?
I reach out psychically and re-establish our link. I sense her disconnected tension and scattered emotions. She feels worried but confused about why she feels worried. Which makes her feel frustrated. Maybe she is experiencing a mild Velintra flare-up. That has been a known reason for her to feel out of sorts.
I won't dive deeper for now without a valid reason. She hasn't brought up that she might be having a small episode, so I'll just keep observing for now. I do a final check against the scan report, make note that everything matches, then I turn off the array and set my tablet aside. I listen to my own instincts and choose not to disconnect our link.
"Everything looks accurate, so let's dive in on today's topic. I'm not sure if you remembered the shared sensations we had when I did that first scan, but I think we have reached a point where we can talk about this. What do you think? Are you ready to discuss what we shared?" I observed and kept my hands folded on the table, waiting for her response. I check our emotional link after a few minutes of silence.
The surface of her emotions showed me nothing, so I dipped beneath. There I found the truth of our situation. She has been triggered and is reliving those shattered memories. Through our link, the sensations—now a bit clearer—pulled me through the shards of memory, so to speak.
*Salty tears on my tongue. Muscles aching from dancing. Cloying scents that told me I wasn't good enough. Minette's too-bright smile as she patted my back while I threw up. The flash of a bite on my inner thigh that radiated deep love one moment, then emptiness the next. Guilty thoughts, then emptiness.*
And through cycle after cycle, Nyx just…breathed. As if none of it touched her. But that was only the surface. She was not numb. She was disconnected. Her scent, however, could not hide what the emotional sensations were making her feel. The scent of cracked sandalwood smoldering and over-steeped black tea with a metallic undertone drifted on the air.
When I saw her breathing begin to falter, I pulled myself back to the surface of our link to immediately cup her cheek. I was trying to give her a solid physical anchor. "Nyxara, you are safe. What you are seeing and feeling isn't happening right now."
She blinked but didn't fully return. Her fingers tightened on my wrist and her mug. Her aura looked like a fireworks sparkler. Emotion over here, body over there, mind hovering somewhere in between. A pang of guilt hit for being the one to once again push her into a flare-up.
Through the link, I could sense the tight, knotted pulsing of her essence veins. The micro-tremors in her emotional layer weren't helping but escalating matters. I realized she was about to fall into a spiral that would put her back into the clinic if I didn't slow her descent.
Remembering the surprise, I prepared for her—I pulled out a set of over-the-ear wolf headphones. I placed them over her ears, maneuvered her into a lying position before I pressed play on a recording I had saved on my tablet.
A soft, layered hum resonated in her ears—our parents humming in different registers—layered like a chord. The effect was instant. Her aura calmed to bubbles. Her breath steadied in rhythm. In the link, her essence spasms eased, and knots loosened.
Her scent gradually softened from burned frustration back toward its normal sandalwood and black tea aroma. Her body sagged in relief and she blinked until her eyes focused on me, surprised. "Where…did you get that?"
"I remembered how you reacted to Korran humming to you before," I said quietly. "I'm pleased to see adding Nimra and Azrail had an increased effect." She nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment she didn't need to feel. "So, tell me now that you have come down from that spiral, how do you feel mentally, emotionally, physically…spiritually—if you feel affected on that level as well?"