I've realized something awful. Horrific. Dreadful.
I'm terrified to go outside, but I'm terrified to go against Ace and Razor. Cipher-3 is an extreme threat but they are an extreme danger. I can hide from the former. I cannot hide from the latter.
Try as I might.
A firm hand grips my shin over the blankets and pulls me out of the bunk while I cry out for help, reaching and clawing for the mattress like a cat. True to her words, Ace keeps hold of my leg, dragging me kicking and screaming through the Station toward the airlock. I'm begging for Henna to save me but I don't know if she's here.
At the entryway between the workshop and logistics, Ace lets go of me. "Get up. Stay."
I whimper as I jolt to my toes, shaking.
"Stay," she repeats with a scowl.
I feverishly nod, staying.
Razor is leaned up against one of the big shipping crates to the left with her arms crossed. "Witch. Nice of you to join us. My compliments. The Compendium Museum is very impressive. The armripper's AI behavior model is shockingly accurate. Where did you learn to program so much? An advanced AI? An entire simulated universe?"
"I j–j–just… knew. It was… I don't know…"
Ace is checking her heavily modded sniper rifle, adding, "It's a feat is what it is. I'd have no clue of how to fight those things if I couldn't practice combat in there last night. I'll second what Razor said, Witch. Impressive."
"Mmmm…" I'm still shaking. "Th–Thank…"
She snickers to herself as she slides the rifle's bolt back into place. "Perfect. I'd like to see an armripper survive a hit from this. Might even be able to put one of those headsmashers down in one. My build is done! I'll be your sniper today! And every day after."
"You both know where my talents lie," Razor nods, coming closer. "Witch, what's your build?"
"U–Um. I… Stock? I'm–I have stock… parts…"
Ace snatches my wrist and lifts my right arm. "What is this? Wait, what is that? These are stock parts? Razor, look at this! Six SmartChip ports! Damn! And look at this! I know you said you're Tech based, but this is nuts! All these Tech Charges! And eight Cylinder ports total?"
"Tesla's coil," Razor mutters, taking a look for herself. "These Tech Charges, they're different colors? Ace and I only have cyan. But you have cyan, green, and yellow. What does that mean?"
My body is no longer my own. "U–Um. It means… Well, those are higher power Charges. Now that I'm… level five… I have four L1s, four L2s, and two L3s. For Cylinders, I came installed with Lightning Spear and Explosive as L3s. Then, um… Prism Spray, Prism Bolts, Cloaking, and Distorted Refractions as L2s. Then Reflex Barrier and Group Overshield as L1s. But–But then… I have a bunch of integrated L1s. TechArmor, Repair, Fearless, Prism Spear, and Prism Bomb. And then for CleanTech I have Shockwave, Artificial Hands, and Prismatic Bolt. One bolt. Singular. And then–And I have a capacity of four Amps for those IAs I mentioned. And I'm Chroma Tuned for GreenTech, so that's corrosive and acidity based. Scribe said it would be… really good against the ferals."
Both of them stare at me, speechless.
"Why are you two… Did I say something wrong?"
Ace huffs, "Damn."
Razor nods. "Quite a lot."
"I don't even know what half of that is."
"Likewise."
"All of that is stock? Right out of the box, Witch?"
"Um. Yes? I haven't… changed any of my hardware."
"Shit, Razor. If we can get her to stop being such a wimp, she'd be a force of reckoning."
"Agreed. It's mission critical that we get Witch some combat experience."
"Fortunately we won't have to look very hard for that," Ace sighs, finally letting me go. "I'm envious. I want more Tech."
"You–You could take my arms for yourself if–"
"No, I want you to blow some shit up for us with those arms. Can you do that, Witch?"
I've been trembling at the fear of it all night. "I… I'll try… No promises…"
"Awesome. That's perfect. Now, where's your armor plating?"
"I… I… What? I don't have any armor plating."
"You don't have any armor plating?"
"That's–That's what I just said–"
"So you're just walking around in your chassis?"
"Some of us wear even less," Razor hums, currently wearing even less.
"But not outside! Shit! Now we have to wait for her to–Damn it, Witch, why didn't you fucking mention this sooner?"
I jam up, terrified and about to shut down.
Razor isn't helping. "If there's a reason, say it."
"W–W–Well, I… I don't… It–It interferes with my Tech… I have this Conduit thing. In my palm, here. It gets really hot. And so do my internal components. Every time I cast any Tech… I have to cool off all systems before I can use it again. Armor would… It would kill me."
"So you can't wear it," Ace says with a scowl, no longer directed at me. "Strange. Hope there are ways to counteract that vulnerability."
"B–Between the… TechArmor and Overshield ChargeTech, and my–my positioning, it should–M–Maybe it will… help? Or maybe I'll just die… That would be fine…"
"Witch, I can shoot you in the head if you–"
"No," Razor states. "Let's focus. Are you two ready to run final checks and then go? Logos and Pathos just finished charging, so I am."
"Copacetic. Ready for final checks. Witch?"
I distractedly fiddle with my Conduit. There's no going back, is there? I wish I could retreat to my pod at this point.
Razor asks, "Witch?"
"H–Huh? Oh. Sorry… I'm… not ready…"
"What else do you need to do?"
"Um… G–Go back to bed–"
"Nope." Ace grabs me by the back of the neck and does not let go. "Signaling to Tune, Taser, and Badeep. Oh, you already have Badeep."
"All full up and ready to fight. Where to first, Ace?"
"North to the scrapyard so I can look for that SMG I'm never going to find in a million years, reflect on the meaninglessness of my stupidly heroic sacrifice, and check for traces of that damn spider. Then cut east to the basin. We're going in. We'll scout what we can until evening and come back before nightfall. Hello, you. Tweet-twoo!"
"Tweet-twoo!" Taser sings and circles her head, blaring a triumphant melody with trumpets and everything. Badeep chitters too, and Razor coos then starts to pet the cylindrical chassis.
It's cute.
If only I weren't about to die.
To my surprise, Tune comes to me. She doesn't say anything, only staring, close enough to be within arm's reach. That's… reassuring? Maybe? I think?
As we head for the door, lead in my leg points and Ace's hand gripping my neck, Razor asks, "Tune, how are you handling this? I'm sure it must be confusing having three of us around now."
"Negative–I have a clear understanding of the circumstances. My directive is and always has been to protect the primary nEPI unit. In this case, the two of you have reappeared on my protection list, however, my first and foremost concern will be the safety of nEPI-0181."
"What's the priority order?"
"Witch, then you, then Ace."
I choke out, "Y–You can–you should prioritize–Make them the priority. Razor first. She's going to be in–in melee combat, so–"
"I find that adjustment to be needlessly risky on your part, Witch. I can join Razor in engaging the enemy at close range while simultaneously prioritizing your safety."
Razor interrupts with, "Tune, keep that first order and don't change it. I can handle myself just fine as second priority. I absolutely prefer you watching out for Witch over me."
"Likewise," Ace adds, shouldering her rifle as we near the airlock. "I'm planning to be at range, so I'm good with third. I'll have Taser cover you as well. Heh. Taser and Razor."
"I hardly know her," Louis says from his post as we pass.
"I'd tell you to shut up but for once that's actually really funny, Loser."
"I do try. You're headed east today, right? Care for another side quest?"
"Lay it on us, me heartie."
"This one's genuinely kind of important. We're uncomfortably short on HEPA filters for the recycled air system. Maybe the drone complex in the basin might have some in storage somewhere if you make it out that far today. I'll send you the specific dimensions I'm looking for."
"Got it. We'll take a look."
"You got your Air Burst ready, me heartie?"
"Aye, ye scurvy dog. The missus put a spare Cylinder in storage, and I find meself adequately geared for these high seas indeed, savvy?"
"Yes, yes, goof off when we get back," Razor sighs, poking her arm. "Final checks. Everyone chose a software upgrade, right? I have Sever. That's the vulnerability targeting telemetry."
Ace nods. "Sniper. Simple enough. Longer ranged aiming telemetry and the option to sharpen my aim by magnitudes if I stay in place and don't move."
Hugging myself, I whimper, "From Afar. My projectile Technomancies move twice as fast for twice the range. That's also how I learned the Shockwave CleanTech."
"Wait. That's integrated?" Ace asks, still gripping the back of my neck. "As in, these software upgrades can give us new Tech?"
"Y–Yeah, I… I guess… But some of them have Variant or SubVariant requirements and stuff…"
"Come back to that later," Razor states, waving us along. "We all have the four TFC upgrades running? I'm looking at a value of thirty eight."
"Forty two here."
I peep, "Forty seven."
"Everyone's weapons are good? Witch, you have that Conduit of yours installed. How much ammo do you have, Ace?"
"Plenty. Fifteen for the sniper, thirty for the nine millimeter you gave me. Mods are good to go, scope is zeroed in, and I'm all clear to fire away."
Razor pats the weapons on her hips. "Charges are good here too. Ace, give Witch her TFIs."
"Oh, right. Here."
I receive three of them, magnetizing the cyan vials to the back of my left hip. Maybe they'll keep me alive. Maybe I won't even use them if I'm dying. No, dying is terrifying. But living is terrifying too…
"Salts," Razor adds, giving me the neon pink vials. "They're all L1s, but better in your hands than ours."
I magnetize those opposite the TFIs. I'll keep one handy to use Prism Bolts on myself, just in case.
Razor asks, "We've all implemented that combat telemetry data from our mystery friend? Not the software upgrade. The other one. The brand new one."
"Yep. Two shots for the price of one. Basically."
"Mhm. Doubled Tech power…"
"Twice my cutting speed," Razor muses, hand on Logos's hilt. "Then I think that covers it. We're woefully short on armor, SmartChips, and hardware mods, so let's keep our optics online for any sign of those. With that in mind, I'd say we're ready."
"Fuck yeah. Let's rock. Later, Loser! Avast!"
"Aw, it still stings a little! Try not to get snacked on by biters again, hotshot! Avast! You two, stay safe. Better you make it back than she does."
My final chance to escape, I realize, darted past several minutes ago and was long gone before I even noticed. Smiling down at me with her inescapable grip like a vice on the back of my neck, Ace drags me forward. I dig in my toes and push against her but she's much stronger so I stumble into the airlock and hug myself, begging to get a hold of my runaway fear. Not even Razor contests the use of force, only studying me as the pressure evens out.
My knees threaten to buckle from under me. My mouth is dry as bone, hands going numb from clenching. I jam my eyes shut and try not to think, but fail. Their memories replay across mine. All the ways they got hurt, maimed, damaged, and even died. Proof, the way I see it. Evidence that I don't belong here, because if the same things happened to me I wouldn't survive them. Cipher-3 is too violent and dangerous for a useless coward like me.
The door opens. The ravenous cold sinks its teeth in. The blinding wasteland expanse of this horrific ice moon stretches ready to devour me. Instinctively I retreat. Ace easily overpowers me. I'm practically thrown forth as a result.
I fall to my knees in the snow.
This is it. I'm going to die.
Ace inhales deeply. "Ahh! Smell that chill! Love the air on Cipher. Ohh, it's so good to be alive and in my own body again!"
"Agreed," Razor sighs, walking past me. I think she might help me up but she doesn't. "It really is good to be back, isn't it? I spent more of my time underground, but I do have a soft spot for the surface. The snow really is pretty."
"Not as pretty as you. I'll always miss sharing your head, sweetheart."
"Oh, you charmer." Razor pulls her in for a kiss and smiles. "Come on, let's get going. It's our first adventure together, after all."
At least Tune gives me a hand. I clamber to my leg points and brush the snow off, already shivering. It's so cold.
"Not so bad out here," Ace comments as she passes me with Taser at her shoulder. "Come on, Witch. We're northbound. I may be taking point, but I will hunt you down and tackle you if you split. And I won't be happy."
As she advances, Razor gives me a blank stare. "We can't hold your hand out here, Witch. You're afraid, of course, and you have good reason to be. But that doesn't mean you can't make the choice to be brave and come with us despite it. You are needed. I know you can do it. So, please, do it."
Without waiting for a response she moves on to follow Ace, Badeep's blue indicator light gazing back at me for a little while before rotating away.
"Missing the point," I whisper, a little bitter. "I can't. I'm hard coded to be like this. Turing, please save me. There's nothing I can do…"
Tune stands vigilant right beside me. "Sensors indicate you require encouragement, Witch. I do not understand why the others are not giving it to you. Would you like me to try in their stead?"
I shrug, hanging my head. "They're right. It's more dangerous for them to have to carry my dead weight. I don't know, Tune. Maybe I could use a little encouragement."
"There there," she says flatly, patting my shoulder. "You can do it."
"Sorry, Tune, but that's not very helpful…"
"Revising approach. You take significant pride in your ability when it comes to Scribe and the simulation realms. To the point of having a definite and undeniable god complex over your fabricated reality. Would it not be satisfying to show Ace and Razor that power translated to genuine reality? If you prove able to use those potent Technomancies of yours, it is almost statistically certain that Ace will have to, as the colloquialism goes, eat her words."
"I would really like that, you're right. But… I'm scared, Tune. How can I do any of that if I'm too scared to move?"
Her blue eye ovals blink. "I recall that amidst your listing of Technomancies for Ace and Razor, you mentioned possessing an integrated version of the L1 Self Sustain CyanTech called Fearless."
I blink too. "What?"
"It would consume one of your four L1 Charges and therefore limit you to only three per outing, but the alternative is… nothing. My recommendation is to utilize Fearless for all field operations in the foreseeable future. It may later come to a point where you no longer require it."
"Tune. Tune, you're a genius!"
Blue smiley face. "Thank you. I am aware."
"It isn't cheating. I'm utilizing the resources available to me." I pull up the Tech interface in my onboard and prime up Fearless. It's a Sustain Type, so it will last as long as I can maintain it. "Here goes."
The activation feels like a sudden jolt of energy, like waking up well rested and eager to begin the day after a long sleep. I can do anything. I can do anything. Cipher-3's surface environment? A walk in the park. The threat of ambush? An exciting opportunity to test myself. An infinite universe of intangible and unpredictable possibilities and dangers inevitably disintegrating into abject entropy and utter chaos?
Whatever!
"I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared! Tune! I'm not scared!"
"This is an optimal outcome!"
"But–But–Shoot, it's a Sustain Tech. I have to keep it constantly active or else it might fail. But wait no, I'll be fine! We're probably only fighting biters, right? I doubt anything we come across while scouting will hit me hard enough to rattle my Sustain. Alright, Ace, Razor. Time to show you both. Let's go, Tune. I wanna blow something up!"
"This is very exciting!"
I take her by the hand and rush off to find the others. They were waiting for me at the edge of town. Ace gives me a sideways, almost sour look before turning away with a grumble, but Razor nods with approval.
"Ignore her. You just won me fifty L-Credits."
That makes me laugh. I can't remember the last time I did.
Eager to prove myself, I take second in line and follow Ace back to where she died. I hope the spider shows up so I can destroy it! The wilds of Cipher-3 welcome me like an old friend, and I am looking forward to catching up.