41 A Dog's Life.
Lilly succeeded first, she was a beautiful Red Fox, I could not find my Grim, I kept getting roadblocked by… Son of a Bitch! A fucking Poodle? I am a fucking Toy Poodle? There is no way in Hell I am going to be a bloody Lapdog! Worse, a White Fucking Toy Poodle!
Lilly saw on my face that I found my inner animal and said: "Change, Black! I want to see what makes your face turn as if you ate a lemon drop from Dumbledore. Is it a Cat? A Donkey? You are already an ass, so it would fit. A peacock? That is it! Change now, Siri!"
With a sigh, I accepted my fate and changed, I turned into a small white Toy Poodle… a trimmed one. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and all the girls rushed to me to cuddle me… maybe it was not a bad deal after all. I started licking the girl's faces until I felt a hand grabbing my neck and lifting me up. The hand turned me towards a face…
With an ice-cold voice, Lilly asked: "What are you doing, Black? Since when did you have permission to slobber other girls' faces?"
Mary, Marlene, and Alice froze up, they realized that I was licking their faces... Like in kissing? With a scream they rushed to the bathroom to wash their face, yelling profanities along the way that could make a bouncer of a strip club blush.
Lilly said: "Be glad that I want to have children in the future or I will have you fixed, like Alice just suggested. No, don't you make puppy eyes on me, I saw you wagging your tail when you were licking my friend's faces. James, Severus, Remus, he is all yours."
Can you believe she threw me into an evil grinning James' arms? I could not concentrate enough to change back, so for the next ten minutes, I got bullied by the boys. Then it got worse, they gave me to the girls. An hour later the punishment was over and I could change back.
I groaned: "That was not fair! Alice, you didn't have to shave all my fur off, that was mean."
Alice pouted: "No it wasn't! And if I see that horny white fur ball near me again then I will go through with the neutering with a bloody blunt knife!"
Mary sighed, "It was partly our fault too, we knew it was Siri when we cuddled him, he was such a cute little dog."
Marlene frowned: "That may be true, but he started licking us on purpose, he knew what he was doing. Fido! Teach us how to be an animagus, maybe then we will forgive you."
"Alright!" I caved in, "There is no need to get nasty about it. So, if you want to find your inner animal, first start to shape your Mindscape into a natural setting, a meadow, a forest or mountain, whatever feels most natural to you, even a lake or ocean if you feel that it is it."
I had to teach Snape and Lupin what a Mindscape is and how to create it, I gave them a few books to read about it.
Xxxxx
A week later everyone, except Snape and Lupin had found their natural Mindscape and were ready for the next step. We gathered in our ritual room and sat down in a circle in the center was a chalice with a pile of smoking herbs on it.
Then Lilly came in and slapped the back of my head, "Quit fooling around, Black! We didn't need to smoke cannabis to find our inner animal."
"Maybe I did, then I wasn't a bloody Poodle." I complained, "Okay, everyone, start meditating and fill your mindscape with the animals you usually find there, birds, mammals, insects, reptiles, amphibians, fish, big, small, all that you can think of."
I continued, "Once that is done, Meditate a few hours each day, animals that don't resonate with you will disappear, and animals that do will multiply. From a week to a month, you will know your animal… if you are honest with yourself. Trying to force yourself to a particular animal will not work. Like me, I was searching for a black dog while that Poodle was right in front of me."
James found his stag when Snape and Lupin managed to create their Mindscape, Longbottom joined us when he found out that Alice was close to finding her animal, and started on his Mindscape too.
James grinned stupidly when Marlene and Mary were Red Deers too, bloody show-offs.
I said: "This is the final step, run with your animals in your Mindscape, join the herd, try to feel what it is like to be that animal, finally, try to Be that animal. Once you get that step you will have changed into your animal when you come out of your meditation. The rest is easy."
Eager to be that stag, James put a lot of effort into it and succeeded fast, so did his fiancees. They regularly run in the woods at Potter Manor, often with Lilly, while I sat at the window on Aunty Dorea's lap. Life sucks.
Frank fucking Longbottom took the first prize, he is a big brown bear. Alice Brown became a Wolverine, she is scary as hell! Always chases me around when she spots me in my dog form. Man, that bitch is vindictive. It made me research ways to get another Animal, I am bloody tired of being the Pet joke of everyone.
Snape became a bird, a crow. He calls it a Raven, but I know a crow when I see one. As a fledgling the Putts could not fly yet, just sitting on a perch and making noise. Lupin didn't get him, the Werewolf kept on blocking him.
I finally managed to find my second animal! I cheated though, I concentrated on the time I was Dudley and found his animal too. See me! The proud Lion King! Master of the Animal Kingdom! BOW TO ME! Hah! I still got it! I Rule!
When James and his herd were showing off in front of me again, I changed from Fido into Leo and started hunting them, Roaring the shit out of them. Yes, they did shit when I turned into a lion, Alice too.
I turned back and smirked: "Now, who was making fun of my Poodle? James? You, Mary, and Marlene looked yummy to me a few moments ago, can I have a bite?"
"Bloody Hell, Black! How do you get to have two animagus? You scared me to death with that Lion!" complained James.
"Nope, can't tell you all my secrets, can I?" I mockingly told him, "You were having too much fun harassing my Poodle. Payback is a Lion."
Uncle Charlus said: "It should not have been possible, and yet I saw it with my own eyes. You better keep that Lion a secret, boy. There will be nothing but trouble if this came out."
Aunty Dorea pouted: "I wanted to keep my little dog."
At Lilly's questioningly face I commented: "Dudley's Patronus was a Lion, what was Hermione's?"
She gasped: "I remember! They had matching animals!"
It didn't take long for Lilly to find her second animal. I call her Lea. Bite me! That is a good name!
Xxxxx
To avoid trouble, we registered our Animagus at the Ministry.
We made the headlines again on the Daily Bullshit.
Heir Black Does it again!
Dear Readers! Heir Sirius Black keeps on surprising us!
That young Genius found a secret method to find your inner animal and become an animagus!
Yesterday, Heir Black and his friends came to the Ministry and registered their animagus! That Heir Black's method is full-proof is shown by the number of Animagi that came to register.
EIGHT! Eight Children came to register their inner animal! Heir James Potter is a Red Deer stag, surprisingly his fiancees Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald are Red Deer too. Alice Brown is a fierce Wolverine and her newly betrothed Frank Longbottom a brown Bear. His friend Severus Snape a raven.
What about Him and his betrothed you ask? Miss Lilly Evans is a beautiful Red Fox, and Heir Black… a small, white, nicely trimmed... Toy Poodle, the smallest of all types of Poodles.
I must say, dear Readers that I was shocked. Of all the animals, that was the last one I would guess. The family animal is a big black Grim after all. The look on Heir Black's face prevented everyone from making fun of the Toy Poodle, even Heir Potter said that Heir Black doesn't have a sense of humor concerning his Toy Poodle.
When we asked what method he used to accomplish this amazing feat, he answered: "I claim this as a Black Family Secret."
We can only guess what this amazing young man comes up with next.
What we do know is that Heir Black sets a new record for his name and confirms his status as the number one Genius of this Century, overshadowing men like Grindelwald and Dumbledore, who were brilliant, but could not compare to this young Genius when they were his age.
When we congratulated him on that, he humbly said: "That is nothing, really, Lilly can kick my but any time. In a way she is more impressive, I grew up with Magic, she only experienced it for one year, and is my equal."
I guess you can say that the boy is smitten by Miss Evans. We at the newspaper wish them all the best.
Your Loyal Reporter
Mouth B. Labber.
Family Secrets, What, How, and Where they come from, and how to get them, more on page 3
Your inner animal, a struggle to find it? We explain the commonly used ritual on page 4
How to Groom Your Dog? More on page 5
Fleas and Lice, how to keep them out of your Fur? We gathered the best tips on page 6
The expected rise in popularity of Toy Poodles, an expert explains, more on page 7
What do Lapdogs Lap? The true purpose of Lapdogs is revealed in Play Witch Monthly.
Xxxxx
Life was set back to normal eventually until the three Princesses of Doom barged into my bedroom early in the morning and tied me up in bed. Bellatrix straddled me and had a mad look in her eyes.
She put her hands around my neck and softly said: "Well, Heir Black? Why did you call it a Family Secret when there is only one Black out of eight Animagi? What about us? Did you forget about your favorite cousins? Or do you hate us now?"
She lowered her mouth next to my ear and whispered: "Repeat after me: Bellatrix, I am happy to teach you and your beautiful sisters how to become an animagus… Hmm? Did you just get a boner? You Perv!"
Gasping for air I said: "When your snatch is grinding on my Dick and you show your tits in front of me when you bend forwards, of course, I get a boner! Now get off me and release your binds. You could have ask normally you know."
Bellatrix looked at her cleavage, yep, bending forwards presented a nice view, she didn't wear a bra, so I got a front-row view of the goods. Lilly is going to kick my ass if she finds out.
Bella said: "Teach us perv!"
That bitch is asking for it! "Alright! For a month, you have to get out of your bed and you have to hop on one foot for ten minutes, then you have to hop on the other foot while yelling like Tarzan when he is swinging through the Jungle… naked in front of a mirror."
The hands are back around my neck, "Why don't I believe a word of what you just said you little Perv?"
"Because you are still dry-humping my Dong, Trixy! Get off me and I will explain." almost pleaded.
Yeah, puberty kicked in, and getting a load off while Trixy sits on top of me is embarrassing. The bitch grinned when she saw how uncomfortable I am until I said: "I'll tell Lilly."
Pouting, she released me, Andi asked: "Can you teach us too, Siri? Or do we need to ride your Dong too?"
I rolled my eyes: "If you want me killed by Lilly, yes. Meet me in the Ritual room, tell Kreacher to prepare it for Meditation. I'll be down in twenty… no, thirty minutes." Bloody Hormones... "Kreacher! Double the herbs!"
Xxxxx
At the train ride we got a lot of visitors, mostly asking to show our animal, or just my Poodle. James Stag won't fit in the compartment. I managed to find out what the Black sister's animals were, Trixy a Black Jaguar, Andi a Black Leopard, and Cissy a Black Cougar. They still haven't managed to turn into one yet though.
At the sorting, we witnessed a brand new side of the hat, I bet he lost a lot of compulsion charms when Dumbledore lost his job and grip on Hogwarts wards. The kids were sorted by treats instead of family traditions. I bet that will give a lot of howlers.
Anyway, Snape has a lot of attention in Ravenclaw, after all, he is the embodiment of the House with his animagus, too bad he is a Puff. Voices were raised to get him moved to their House. Slughorn looked sour, all the kids that avoided him became an animagus, I bet he blames me, I was on his wrong side from day one when I told him to stay out of House Black business.
Lessons were boring, I was wondering why I didn't complete this Layer yet, do I need to take Dumbledore out? Or kill the Death Eaters? I squibbed Tom's inner circle, the rest are sheep. Meh, I'll write some letters.
Xxxxx
Heir Black proclaims! The reason why you think Muggles steal our Magic!
Dear readers, Heir Black made a study on why we are convinced that Muggles steal our Magic, he explains.
It starts with the Witch hunts, we notice that Muggles developed new technologies in the fifteenth Century, slowly surpassing us in later years, weapons became Wizard killers with the invention of Gunpowder. With the Muggle's industrial revolution, they left us behind, and we started to copy them, the printing press, the Wireless, the Hogwarts train to name a few examples. Instead of us giving them examples to a better way of life, the Muggles showed us theirs.
World War One was a wake-up call for the continent, Muggles killing each other on a scale we never imagined! Twenty thousand deaths in a day was not an exception.
World War Two made us realize we did not matter anymore on the grand scale of the world. Grindelwald was just a helper of the Muggles, the airplanes flew faster and higher than any broom, we had no defense against their bombs at all.
While we have to stick our heads in our fireplace, Muggles can talk freely to anyone around the globe. To conclude it all, we are outpaced by the Muggles on almost every topic. To explain it, we think they used Magic to do all of that, how else could they be better than us?
To explain it simply, a hundred years ago, a muggle flew a contraption into the air, some wood and canvas with an engine-powered propeller. Each year they improved that model, it got faster, bigger, and more complicated. Now they have flying Machines that can transport over 400 people, go three to four times faster than sound, and fly higher than 50.000 feet.
What do we have to compare? Brooms and carpets, we use the same models from 3000 years ago. Innovations are discouraged, new ideas are smothered by old men who think they know best. It will only take half of a century before Muggles are advanced enough to discover our community.
We have to stop thinking that Muggles are smart Monkeys that steal our Magic, or we will become the smart Monkeys on display in a Zoo.
Dear Readers, those are harsh words from our young Genius, I asked a few Muggleborn classmates from Hogwarts, and they confirmed it. They took me for a day out in London, it was an eye-opener! We are so stuck with Apparating and Floo travel that we didn't see the world changing on us.
We isolated ourselves from the Muggle world and that is coming back to bite us.
Heir Black suggested a solution:
Dedicate a half page of your paper on Muggle topics written by a Muggleborn, on the other half write Magic topics for Muggleborns to understand our world. That way we grow together into one society.
Dear Readers, that is not a bad idea, often we complain that Muggleborns reject our ways, my friends told me that they never were taught our ways, so how can they reject them when they never knew them in the first place?
We leave this debate open for everyone.
Your Loyal Reporter
Mouth B. Labber.
More on Technology on page 3
What is technology? More on page 4
How does it move without Magic? An expert explains on page 5
What is drawing the white lines in the sky is revealed on page 6
Brooms through the ages, Bathilda Bagshot claims: "It is still the best tool to sweep the floor!" more on page 9
Muggles landed on the Moon last year! Muggleborns confirm: it is not a rumor but a fact! All you need to know on page 6
Who did the Muggles visit on the Moon? Our expert Astronomer said: "We don't know! We can not see the other side of the Moon." More on pages 7 and 8.
Moon dwellers, who or what are they? Play Witch Monthly provides a study.
Xxxxx
Lilly asked while she put the paper down: "Are you rocking the boat again, Siri? Are you so eager to finish this Layer? Are you perhaps tired of me? ARE You?"
I sighed: "I am bored Lilly. And these bloody kids keep on asking me to show Fido. I am not tired of you Lilly, I am tired of being a little kid."
Lilly nodded, "I can understand that, I have been through this before too. Why don't we prepare for the Next Layer? New Magic? What about Rituals? We did not explore that, did you?"
I shook my head, "No that doesn't work, if I know too much, ROB will nerf me. I was Tom once, remember? The next Layer those memories got erased, I was glad I kept the Magic from The Game from the last Layer, we would be helpless without it."
Lilly nudged my shoulder: "Then we will have fun, what do you want to do or can I suggest something?"
"Suggest, my love, you made me curious." I said smiling with a bow, "I am all for fun, my middle name should have been fun."
"Well, did you know that the Wolfsbane Potion has yet to be invented? And who do you think still remembers the recipe?" asked Lilly, "We can upstage Slughorn with it, he is nagging my ears off lately to join his parties. And it will get you in the papers again."
"Nope! It will get YOU in the papers, Missy! I never brewed that potion in the first place, what if they want a demonstration? It is your show, honey."
Lilly caved in: "Ok, I will present it to the Potion Guild if you get me a foot in the door."
"Consider it done. Do you have any other suggestions?" I asked.
"Banning Binns to the afterlife would be a good idea, he is killing History long enough," she suggested.
"I know the Druid ritual for that, we do that two weeks before Yule, that gives McGonagall time to hire a replacement." I commented, "We start with the Wolfsbane, when is the next full moon?"
Lilly answered: "In two weeks, that is enough time to buy and brew it on time."
I grinned: "Lilly? Do you remember that potion book from The Half-Blood Prince? How about you file for Potion Mastery? I remember every improvement and can write it out for you."
Lilly looked thoughtfully at me and asked: "Sev's Mum is a Potion Mistress, how many of these improvements are from her? Plus if we only publish improvements from the sixth-year book, what about the other years? We would be exposed in a week."
Xxxxx
Two and a half weeks later the Daily Slander reported:
A new Potion Mistress is Born!
Dear Readers! We can proudly announce that Britain has a new blooming talented future Potion Mistress! Yes, she is still young, Miss Lilly Evans, the betrothed of Heir Sirius Black, is a second-year student at Hogwarts, she developed a potion that lets Werewolves keep their human mind during the full moon!
This is a groundbreaking change! With their human mind in control, they are no danger to their family and surroundings, no more self-mutilations, no more infecting innocents!
We interviewed this brilliant girl to find out how and why she invented this potion.
ML: Congratulations on your achievement, Miss Evans, can you explain how you came up with this recipe?
EL: "I happen to know some Werewolves and I wanted to do something to ease their burden. Most Werewolves are victims, infected by some bad ones, but they get painted with the same brush as the bad wolves. We noticed that Dumbledore preached for Werewolf rights but did nothing to actually do something for them. Worse, he even voted on rights to restrict them more! I spent time with my betrothed when we were training for animagus and read some old unfinished recipes in his library from a Black potion Mistress that had to give up her profession when she married. I researched her notes and developed the Wolfsbane."
ML: "So this is a partial House Black Potion?"
EL: "It would be a Black potion anyway after our marriage. Too bad the Ancestor of my betrothed had to stop brewing, we would have had that potion centuries sooner."
ML: "That is a shame, yes. Your potion is tested successfully on a pack of Werewolves. Do you think life for them will be better?"
EL: "That depends on our Ministry, some of the herbs are toxic and their sales are strictly regulated, a werewolf hater in the Ministry can sabotage the development of herbal farms to grow enough to serve the packs. Potion Masters can artificially keep the prize of the potion high, to increase their profits."
ML: Well, Miss Evans, we from the Daily Prophet will keep an eye open and expose any transgression we can find.
Dear Readers, we hope that our government supports the development of new herbal farms to grow enough to supply the werewolf community. A sane werewolf makes our world safer.
Your loyal reporter
Mouth B. Labber.
All about Wolfsbane potion on page 3
Dumbledore's voting on werewolf Laws investigated more on page 6
Who is smarter, Heir Black or Miss Evans? More on Page 4
When is the Wedding? TWW will investigate
Who will be the dominant one? The Fox or the Toy? Play Witch Monthly speculates!
Xxxxx
Slughorn wasn't happy, a Potion talent that was out of his reach, and developed a groundbreaking potion without his help, in HIS School! That was unacceptable, the worst part is that the Brat, AKA, Me, is blocking him from recruiting her into his Club. Meh, fuck him, I will kick his ass after the Spring Equinox. We have to take care of Binns first.
We diverted the attention with a prank, Doing it with a potion would be a bad idea, most of the students check for them anyway. Now we put the chairs we sit on under a timed spell. When breakfast was done, the spells activated. For a day, everyone was forced to sing if they wanted to speak, we spelled the chairs of the lower years to sing with a Baritone voice, the middle years with a Tenor, and the upper years with a soprano.
The teachers had it bad, they had to sing soprano as an opera diva, which meant they could let the vowel A last for five minutes. If you think Quirrell's stutter was bad, just doing the attendance list takes a half hour. Classes were canceled. Some students harassed the teachers with questions just to hear them sing their arias.
Lilly and I set our Ritual Banning Circle in Binns Class, when we started the Ritual, he looked up and said: "It is about time that someone did this. Dumbledore and Doge bound me to this classroom in revenge when I exposed their relationship. Thank you, Children."
When the ritual was done, Lilly said: "It always comes down to Dumbledore, doesn't it? I wonder, where do you think he is hiding?"
I realized something, "Son of a bitch! I bet he is hiding in the Castle! He must have been prepared for this to happen, most likely he has keyed himself in the wards separately, remember, McGonagall is still his bitch, she can hide the link.
Xxxxx
Mr. Unmentionable,
We noticed that Dumbledore is still running free, despite the combined efforts of your department and the DMLE, the trouble is to locate him.
In that I feel I can give you some pointers, like if you know that you are breaking several laws by potioning students, won't you have some backup plan? A Hide Out? Now, for a man that has been living in Hogwarts for more than 60 years, he must known the place very well don't you think?
Imagine being in control of the Wardstones for twenty-five years and the current Headmistress is a loyal puppet, what are the odds that Dumbledore is hiding at Hogwarts?
I suggest some wards that block Phoenix travel and in the addendum is a plan with all the secret passages that I know of. The Yule break will be an optimal time to investigate, don't you think?
Yours, Mr. Anonymous.
Xxxxx
I smiled at Lilly and said: "Why don't we catch a firebird after Yule? I think Fawkes suffered enough, I am curious how he bound that bird to him."
Lilly gasped: "Nagini! Could Dumbledore have done the same as Tom? That explains the loyalty of Fawkes."
I sighed: "To the RoR, Honey. We have some serious planning to do, and little time to do it."
We spent the rest of our free time researching in the RoR.
Xxxxx
On the train ride home, A Black Leopard and a Black Cougar were eating some snacks in our compartment, Lilly and I managed to enlarge it to make room for everyone, and both took prime positions.
James asked nervously: "Siri? Why did you feel the need to feed them a half-deer? Do you know how much that freaks me out? See them looking at me!"
I grinned evilly: "I told you that you looked Yummy, James. That is just a burden you have to live with. Why don't you and your delicious betrothed join us for the Yule Hunt? You could play a big part in the hunt, you know."
At that comment, a Cougar and a Leopard lifted their heads and looked at James, slowly shewing on the meat in their mouth.
Marlene shivered: "No bloody way, Sirius Black! You and those cats need to stay away from us. We will join the herd on Potter Manor."
Lilly chuckled: "It is good that the mating season is over, or Bambi here has to fight over you with an old Stag."
James protested: 'It is Prongs! I tell you! There is no way I am a Bambi!"
I shrugged: "Live with the names we gave you, Bambi, do you think I like Fido? Besides, that will go nicely with Barbie and Cristy."
Mary complained: "Why did we get stupid Barbie doll names and those cats' cool ones like Princess, Duchess, and Contessa?"
I pointed at them and answered: "They have sharp teeth and have access to my house, that's why."
Xxxxx
At Yule, the three Princesses stole the show, I had to admit that being a Black Jaguar is more impressive than being a Toy Poodle or a Red Fox, yes, Lilly is at my place. She smothered any protests by wandlessly cutting and trimming her Yule log, when she with a careless gesture put her log on the firepit, all protests went still. She conjured a big dog basket with a fluffy pillow before the fire, turned into her Fox and laid down in it, I followed her example of course and laid next to her.
Xxxxx
The day after Yule, Lilly and I sat in the dungeon at Grimmauld Place on a lazy chair, with hot cocoa in our hands, suddenly the dungeon in front of us lit up and a Phoenix flamed inside the cage we prepared. Dumbledore came along for the ride. With a few spells, all his wands and Portkeys landed in front of me, and the old man got frozen.
Lilly stored the Elder wand, and examined Fawkes: "I knew it! That bastard made Fawkes into a Horcrux! Kreacher! A Draught of the Living Death, please! Make it two!"
We delivered Dumbledore to the DMLE and Fawkes to Gringotts to be dispelled. Dumbledore didn't make it to his trial, Fawkes made sure of that, what remained of him was a small pile of ash.
At New Year, I gave Lilly a Snog. I should not have done that, a golden glow surrounded us and we disappeared.
When the glow faded, we stood in the ritual chamber of my home surrounded by Dumbledore's stooges.
LEVEL SIX SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED
"Welcome, Heroes" I heard the old goat say.
42 A new Level…
We broke our kiss off and looked around, our battle instinct took over, we turned around with our backs against each other and started freezing the people facing us. I did Dumbledore first and Snape, then the rest I was facing, Lilly did the same with her half. We surprised them with our Wandless spells, they had no time to react.
"Put them asleep until we figured out when and how we got here," I told Lilly.
Dumbledore and Snape got a double dose of my sleeping spell, both got disarmed from wands and portkeys. Then we took stock of our situation. A tempus showed 15 July 96, just a few weeks after Harry stormed the DoM. What went wrong?
Lilly and I examined each other, we aged up to 16? ROB no doubt, "Welcome Heroes, he said, what happened with the local ones?" I asked, "What happened to Harry and Neville in the DoM?"
Lilly inspected the sleeping members of the Order, "Molly is up to her old tricks, Fleur got it bad for Bill. No, Molly can't stand Fleur, it must be Dumbledore or Bill. Lupin has loyalty potions up to the gills, Tonks is showing signs of something I can't detect. The others are surprisingly clear from potions and compulsions, which is strange, it is the Modus Operandi for Dumbledore in all the Layers I have been and the ones you told me about."
I groaned: "A Layer with a GOOD Dumbledore? I can't stand that creep! Nope, here is Harry's cloak! He still can be the bad one, I'm putting the wand and cloak in my Mokeskin poach."
I smiled when I checked her out, "You, my dear, are looking very Yummy! Come here and give me a snog before we wake them up. We are finally old enough for some action."
Lilly jumped in my arms and said: "I agree, these last two Layers were frustrating, we are going to enjoy life a bit."
Xxxxx
After a snogging session with a lot of groping and heavy patting for a half hour, we woke the stooges up. We started with Dumbledore, we woke him up and only released the head from our spell. The rest of the bones from his body were still locked up, and couldn't move an inch.
"Call your bird here, old man," I demanded, "Whether or not he passes our inspection will define life or death for you. Don't bother to flame out, that will hurt like a bitch."
Dumbledore looked us over and asked: "Sirius Black and Lilly Evans? How is this possible?"
Lilly frostily answered: "If Fawkes doesn't pass our inspection you won't be alive long enough to find out old man. Call the bird or we skip it and kill you just to be sure."
Fawkes appeared before us, I let him land on my arm while Lilly examined him. "He is clean, Siri, except for a tracking spell. A shame, I really wanted to kill him. You are lucky, Dumbledore. Siri, we better wake everyone up. Make a perch for the bird first."
"Wait! How is this possible? The ritual doesn't revive people!" Dumbledore almost demanded to know.
"We will wake everyone up, old man, and before you demand answers, you better start answering our questions first, got it?" I bit back, "We can always put you back to sleep and get our answers from your puppets."
One by one Lilly woke them up and unlocked their heads so they could speak, she silenced Molly when she started to run her mouth. Moody's eye got locked looking up. "Shut up Molly Prewitt, I never liked your voice, and Moody, that eye of yours can see through my clothes. If you ever point that blue ball at me, I shove it up your ass, so you can see shit." Commented Lilly, I must rubbed off on her, she has a potty mouth, I love her even more now.
I looked at Fleur and asked: "Can someone tell me why this pretty Veela has love potions in her system? More importantly, who brewed them and who dosed her?"
Fleur gasped: "Impossible! We get checked at work every time and those Goblins are thorough. It can't be!"
I turned to Dumbledore: "Let me guess, you needed that contact with the Veela community or just so you can make one of your puppets happy. Four the Greater Good, no doubt? Miss Veela, that potion is Alchemy based, you need special spells to detect them. And guess who stopped Alchemy being taught?"
Dumbledore had the decency to blush, I continued: "Why is Lupin stuffed with Loyalty Potions? Did something happen that would stop his loyalty? And before you answer, why is the pretty Metamorph showing signs of Potions? Dumbledore? You passed the test with Fawkes, but are failing miserably with your Potions, or is it Snape doing it?"
Snape didn't say a word, he was looking at Lilly like a dog at a bone, Lilly got closer to Snape and asked with a sweet voice: "Sev? Did you brew the potions they used here?"
Snape, high on Lilly fumes, nodded: "Albus asked to brew them for Fleur to Bill Weasley and Tonks for Lupin. To keep them in the Order. How come you are alive? I saw your body on the floor!"
Lilly asked softly: "And why were you there, Sev? I thought you wanted to be a Potion Master, not an Auror. Why were you there to see my body?"
Snape lost it and had tears in his eyes: "I begged him for your life, I begged The Dark Lord to spare you for me, he was only after your son."
Lilly nodded: "That makes so much sense, Sev. So, you expected me to jump into your arms after your Dark Lord killed my son? My husband too? That must have been true love, Severus. When did you lose your brain, Severus? Tell me, what are you doing here? Or is Dumbledore the Dark Lord?"
I had the rest silenced, Snape was singing like a bird, and others were not allowed to interrupt.
Snape swallowed: "Dumbledore kept me out of Azkaban if I spied for him. I took oaths."
Lilly wasn't done with Snape: "What happened to my son? Is he dead too? Who was my husband?"
Huh? She is playing the 'Return Back From The Death with no memories beyond 16'? That can work.
Snape was eager to tell her everything, "Your son Harry Potter is alive. He is at St Mungo's in a coma. A few weeks ago he and his friends were lured into the Department of Mysteries, our help came too late, Neville Longbottom died, and three others were heavily wounded. Potter got possessed by the Dark Lord, he escaped the possession but has been in a Coma ever since."
"I married that prick? Dumbledore, if I find out that you used potions to make that happen, you will be begging for death!" snarled Lilly. "Sev? A few weeks ago it was still School time, how or why did they manage to get to London?"
"The Dark Lord sent him illusions of Black being captured and tortured at the DoM, they flew on Testrals to London. Lucius Malfoy was waiting for him at the Hall of Prophesies with a group," explained Snape.
"Surely they must have warned someone of their plans or of the situation," said Lilly, "I can't believe that they didn't warn someone."
Snape knew he had to tell her or the others would. "He told me about it before they lured Umbridge into the Forbidden Forest. When they didn't come back I warned the Order."
"Severus? How long does it take a Thestral to fly 800 miles? Even at a Hundred Miles an hour, it takes eight hours of flight. Does it take eight hours to organize a rescue party? Or were you waiting that long, hoping my son would get killed? Did Dumbledore ask to wait that long?" asked Lilly with a soft voice.
Severus nodded: "Albus calculated the traveling time of the Testrals and added an hour before we would go in. It got out of hand too fast. Longbottom died trying to shield Potter, Black got blasted through the Veil of Death by Bellatrix, and Potter went after her, in the Atrium he met the Dark Lord."
I turned to Dumbledore and slapped his face a few times, "Still playing with other ones' lives I see. Snape! Why did your group summon us? Welcome Heroes was a strange way to greet us."
Snape decides to let it all out: "With Longbottom dead, and Potter in a coma, the two boys of the prophesy are eliminated, to stand a chance against the Dark Lord, Dumbledore found a Hero Summoning ritual. It said that the Ritual will summon a Hero capable of doing the task he is summoned for."
I studied Dumbledore's face, "Am I to understand that the two prophesied boys are of school age? And you needed them to face Death Eaters? Not one Death Eater, but a group? On top of that, only two weeks later you summon two other kids to do your dirty work? What? You are not even blushing from shame?"
I looked around and said: "There is more to it I suspect. Why else are you summoning Heroes in my ancestral home? You wanted to summon a Black, isn't it? Regulus was sucked up in Slytherin, wasn't he? So you needed someone to keep the Black fortune away from the kids of Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa?"
Lilly removed the silencing spell from Fleur and asked: "Is it true? All that has been said?"
"I don't know," Answered Fleur, "They never explained the details to us, only that the rescue came too late to save the boys."
She glared at Bill and said: "You better stay on this Island, Weasley, my father will place a bounty on your head. They will capture you and play with you as you played with me. I will personally cut your balls and feed them to you. Miss, can you let me go? I am moving back to France, both of you are welcome to visit me."
Lilly released her, Fleur went in front of Bill and made her hand into a claw, two strikes maimed his pretty face, "I will put a formal complaint about you at Gringotts, Weasley. Goodbye."
Fleur left with slamming doors.
Lilly looked at Tonks and asked: "You want to leave too?"
Tonks shook her head, "Mum is Andromeda Black, I saw Sirius fall through the Veil, I need my revenge. They have to pay."
I told her: "Keep it in for a bit longer, dear, we need more answers."
I looked at Dumbledore and asked: "So… Who raised Harry? Who was his Godfather and Godmother?"
Tonks snapped: "You were! They threw you in Azkaban and Dumbledore put Harry with his Muggle Aunt. Alice Longbottom was Crucio'd into insanity."
Lilly faced Dumbledore: "Old Man, tell me that you visited my Son every week, Petunia is a vile bitch that made my life miserable from the moment she found out she didn't have enough Magic for Hogwarts! She would make My Son's life a living hell."
Snape said: "He didn't. The boy came to Hogwarts small, skinny, and in rags."
Lilly turned to him, "Just like you, isn't it Severus? I bet Petunia beat him up too just like your father did. Siri, I know enough, kick this sorry bunch out of this house before I kill them all."
"Not so fast honey," I said, "I am not done with them, can you go upstairs and see who else is here?"
Xxxxx
When Lilly was gone I grinned evilly: "You see, my dear Order of the Phoenix, you didn't tell me something new. We knew all about Harry, how he was treated by Petunia all these years. How he spent ten years in a cupboard under the stairs. How you useless bastards watched him last year and didn't do a thing about the abuse. Snape, you abused your position to torture Harry, and you think I let you walk out of the door like nothing happened? Let me show you some tricks I learned."
One by one I searched their minds, I erased the last hour from their memory from the loyal followers and planted in their minds that Dumbledore dissolved the Order after he found out the Ritual was flawed. The Order members who were disgusted by Dumbledore's schemes kept their memories and were allowed to leave after they quit the Order. One by one they left the building. Until only the Weasleys, Snape, and Dumbledore were left.
"Bill, I leave you in the tender care of Fleur. Say bye-bye memories! Arthur! I don't know what to think about you, you treat Muggles as some kind of smart monkeys, while you are one of the biggest morons I met. I guess you are a hopeless case. Molly, Ginny will never marry Harry. Not now, not in any Layer."
Crap! Did I just jinx myself? Meh. That leaves me with Dumbledore and Snape.
I destroyed Snape's Magic core, turned to a horrified Dumbledore, and asked: "How long will you survive with a damaged core, Dumbledore? Fixing you is for the Greater Good. After all, you are a Dark Lord, aren't you? No, you don't have to say a thing, I am the Hero and know what is best. Oh? Still silenced? Meh, I don't want to hear it, just like you refused to listen to Harry about Petunia."
Albus became a squib too. I will get Tom by myself. I dropped both in a garbage container, miles apart, of course. Fawkes looked at me from his perch, I shrugged: "I never understood why you stayed with him, Fawkes. He clearly was a Dark Lord. Did you know what his alter ego did in our world? Enough for you to kill him. Anyway, a new perch awaits you upstairs."
Xxxxx
We shoved the Weasley brood through the Floo, Lilly found Hermione, still heavily wounded from Dolohov's spell, and Luna too.
Lilly said: "They were afraid that the Death Eaters would take them from St Mungo's, those bastards didn't even let Pomfrey in to treat their wounds. I removed the curses and closed the wounds, they will be fully recovered in a few hours. Ron had some marks from those brains, but he was fine."
"Kreacher! Come here!" I called out, "Come here or get clothes, you unfateful elf!"
Kreacher popped in and looked at me: "You be nasty Master, and not be Nasty Master, Who you be?"
I showed my Heir ring: "I be the next Lord Black, and tell me, why did you help the killers of Master Reggie to kill another one from House Black? Didn't Reggie die to try to destroy the Dark Lord? You betrayed Master Regulus just to take revenge on Sirius. You are even worse than a Lazy elf. What will it be, traitor, are you going to be a House Black Elf again or are you going to Master Regulus's killer's side?"
Kreacher was shell-shocked by my rant, I added: "Where is the Locket that Reggie asked you to destroy?"
It is still early in the Holidays so there is a chance it is still here. I bet Dolores needs more time to recuperate. Kreacher presented the Locket to me.
I pressed for an answer: "Well, Elf? What is your decision? House Black, House of Master Regulus, or Voldemort? The killer of Reggie."
Kreacher looked at the ground and mumbled: "Kreacher be a Black Elf, Kreacher be Loyal Black Elf."
"I am glad you are a loyal Black Elf, Kreacher, I will take care of that locket, don't answer any summons from Bellatrix, Narcissa, and her brat again. Stay inside, I am taking control of the wards."
Xxxxx
Ten minutes later, I am the Master of the House. I visited Hermione and Luna with Lilly, Hermione was still weak, while Luna was almost recovered.
I said to Granger: "Miss Granger, from today forward you will be a Ward of House Black. Do you accept?"
Hermione was confused: "Sirius? Why are you so… young? They told me you died! Dumbledore said it was not safe to be a Ward of House Black."
Lilly commented: "He lied, Miss Granger, like he lied over so many things. See this ring? This ring gives me the same status as a pureblood. Being a Ward of House Black would do the same for you."
Luna said: "Dumbledore was good at herding the nargels at someone to confuse them."
"The question stays, do you want to be a Ward for House Black Miss Granger? I need an answer now, I have to go to Gringotts." I asked again.
With a look at Lilly, she nodded, "I want to be a Ward of House Black, Sirius."
I looked at Luna and asked: "And you? I offer the same to you, Miss Luna."
Luna nodded: "I want to be a part of your family, Lord Black."
Lilly hugged her: "We are happy to have you, dear."
Xxxxx
At Gringotts, I showed my ring to a teller and said: "I want to meet my Account Manager. As fast as possible."
The teller said: "That can take a while, wizard."
I shrugged: "That is why I said as fast as possible. I know that Goblins are a bit slow, I don't mind waiting."
"We Goblins are not slow, wizard! Mind your words!" he growled.
"Great! Then I don't have to wait very long. And sorry, they told me that the Goblins are slow when it comes to customer service. I guess they were wrong then." I apologized.
Xxxxx
Sharpclaw entered the waiting room and inspected me: "Are you a bastard from Sirius Black?"
"It is more complicated," I answered, "Can we do a blood test first to confirm my identity? That will answer a lot of questions.
We took the blood test in his office, it confirmed my status as Sirius Black, Lord Sirius Black after I donned the Lord Ring. We went over the Ledgers and properties and discussed new investments. Yes, I could not help it, if you know what is going to make a lot of money, you have to jump on that train and ride it! I registered Lilly Evans as my betrothed and made Hermione and Luna Wards of House Black and took the rings.
Finally, I explained it to Sharpclaw: "Today, Dumbledore and his Order of Idiots summoned Lilly Evans and me from another world, as Heroes to vanquish the Dark Lord. With the way he eliminated the former Heroes, we named Dumbledore a Dark Lord and vanquished him. Maybe you already heard the rumor that Bill Weasley used potions on Fleur Delacour, we exposed it to Miss Fleur. You must update your analyzing spells for Alchemy spells. Tom Riddle is fond of using them too."
Sharpclaw asked: "Who is Tom Riddle?"
"Write Tom Marvolo Riddle on a piece of parchment and I Am Lord Voldemort beneath it, then connect the letters." I was happy to explain.
"In my world, I kicked Riddles's ass and Dumbledore's, maybe that is why we got summoned."
I grinned: "Let's start with calling all loans in that are late in payments or even never paid. Go after them with a battle axe, clean them out. Then I call for the reading of James Potter's will. Mind you, Lilly Evans is back alive. I will come with her tomorrow to talk with the Potter account manager and ask him why he betrayed the Potters."
Sharpclaw commented: "By this time tomorrow he could already be a head shorter."
Xxxxx
I strolled in Diagon Alley, every thirty paces I conjured the Text: Tom Marvolo Riddle and made it change every five seconds into: I Am Lord Voldemort, in plain sight. I took a lesson from the twins, when people tried to dispel them they multiplied, soon the Alley was full of them.
I entered Olivanders, he looked wearily at me, I asked: "Do you like living in a dungeon? Getting tortured every other day? Ah, by the look on your face, that is a no. Then I suggest you pack up and move on a holiday because the man with the Yew wand with the Phoenix core will ask why his and Harry Potter's wand connected and why he lost that battle of wills."
I turned around and went back outside, before closing the door I said: "He did great things with that wand, terrible things, but great nevertheless as you might find out soon. Goodbye, sir."
Outside was pandemonium, the Alley was covered by the signs that spelled Tom Marvolo Riddle, all the shops were closed, and the windows barred. The last people were running for the Leaky Cauldron.
It didn't take long for the slaves to show up, the stupids began to dispel them, causing the Alley to burst with fiery words, I disillusioned myself and started to freeze them from behind. When I got them all, I made another pass, and destroyed their Magic cores, after cutting the Achilles tendon of one foot, I released them from my freezing spell, that will keep them from running away.
I waited for the next batch of patsies, hmm? They are noisy, I better silence them. Much better. I didn't have to wait long, twenty fresh ones entered the Alley, with their wands out… yep, the first thing they did was dispelling, even before they checked their colleagues out. Rinse and repeat, two minutes later, twenty more squibs are squirming on the pavement.
The cavalry is here! Four Aurors strolled into the Alley, yelling "Aurors! Put your wands down!" the idiots didn't even have their wands out!… let's freeze them for a bit… and comment on their foreheads… they are small-minded, only 'Idiots' fitted on it.
Ah, there is the third batch!… Dispelling… Freeze… Destroy Cores… cutting Tendons… done. Hm? silver paw? Cutting... Ah, I forgot silencing. Another group of Aurors, this time hey had their wands out, smart. Very smart! They even called for backup.
There is Tom!… Dispelling… Dispelling… Vanishing… I thought he was smart?
Freezing… disarming… destroying core…, slapping a Portkey to the DoM on his forehead… and done. At least that is where the DoM is supposed to be… I think. I went home.
Xxxxx
I gave Hermione and Luna their rings and said: "Lilly and I are a bit tired. We are going to bed."
I took Lilly's hand and dragged her to our room, a few spells later we were both butt naked, Lilly smiled: "You practiced that spell didn't you?"
I nodded: "Like a Zealot, and the anti-conception spell, a lubrication spell, even a spell to remove the hymen."
We made love for an hour, loudly, while we were in the middle of a session, Luna crawled butt naked into our bed and started fondling Lilly's tits.
Lilly asked: "Luna? Why are you doing this?"
Luna smiled: "I am part of the family, I am allowed to have fun too. Faster Sirius, I need a turn too. And I bet Hermione will soon, she is watching from the door. Here let me help… where is that clitoris… Got it. There you go, it got me in the mood, Lilly."
That little swindler! She is playing the naive bumpkin, but she got a spot in our bed! Lilly is riding her buzz and Luna is claiming her turn, I looked at Lilly with a question in my eyes, but she only nodded.
I removed Luna's Hymen and took her for a ride, the little tramp is a screamer: "Oh Morgana's dried up cunt! This is sooo good! Hermione! You have to tryyyyy! Come here! Ohhh… faster Black! I'm almost there! Give me your load!"
While I was getting Luna over the top, Lilly went to the door and took Hermione by the hand, she asked, "Do you want to join us or do you want to wait for Harry?"
Hermione looked with hungry eyes at me and Luna: "Harry is pining for Ginny Weasley, he never noticed me to begin with."
Lilly dragged Hermione to our bed, "It is his loss then, come, I need to pay Luna back, you work on her tits I will go for her clit."
Two hours later one happy bloke and three sated witches fell asleep. At the door stood a lonely Tonks, she missed the opportunity to join.
Kreacher commented: "This Master Black I like, Clumsy Miss will join them soon. Kreacher will clean now."
Early in the morning I softly asked Lilly: "What happened with 'I Don't Share'?"
Lilly sighed: "I saw two lonely souls, Siri. I was one of those souls once remember? I don't mind sharing you with them, I know them and know what they want, a family to love. I want that too. Tonks will join our bed too you know. She was watching us."
I was puzzled: "You fetched Hermione, why not Tonks?"
Lilly answered: "That potion needs to get out of her system, or she will always wonder why she joined us, because of the potion or she wanted it herself."
Luna commented: "I am glad you fetched Hermione, she is family after all."
I smiled at them, I better start collecting Horcruxes.
43 I am Lord Black!
Luna straddled me and impaled herself on my Morning Wood, she said: "Thank you for letting me join, Lord Black."
Ok, having a pretty girl on my Dingaling is great, having to deal with a full bladder at the same time isn't. But... I was prepared for it, with a wave of my hand the problem was solved.
Luna stopped moving and asked: "What did you just do?"
"A spell the Healer apprentices learned a few hundred years ago," I answered. "It removes body waste from within the body. They used it for patients who can not get out of bed. My bladder is empty now, so I can concentrate on the pretty girl riding on top of me."
An elbow from Lilly told me she needed a fix too, so were Hermione's puppy eyes, meh, I did all three of them.
I pulled Luna down for a kiss and softly said: "Luna, even without the sex you are a part of the family, we love to have you in our bed, and I very much enjoy making love with you, but you don't have to force yourself to do it."
Luna increased her movements and answered: "After last night I never want to leave your bed, My Lord. Suck my tits, I am close, so close."
Lilly pinched Luna's clit to get her over the edge, then she looked at Hermione and told her: "The same goes for you, Hermione, We love to have you in our bed, but not when you do it to secure your place in our household. You are one of us, just like Luna. And it is Sirius, Siri, and Lilly for you both."
Luna panted: "I love my place in this bed, Soo Gooood. Hermione, Siri didn't come, can you finish him? I have a pussy to kiss."
Hermione switched places with Luna, and took Little Siri inside, clearly enjoying my facial expressions while she rode me like a cowgirl on a rodeo, Lilly got served by Luna and had her pussy eaten out by a girl that obviously had some practice. It didn't take much more to spill my load, a man who can hold it in for longer than ten minutes during a Foursome with three gorgeous girls, needs to check if he is into Dudes.
Xxxxx
Kreacher handed me the morning paper.
Drama in Diagon Alley!
Dear Readers!
Yesterday afternoon the shop owners and their customers noticed a young man casting signs hanging in the air with Fiery letters, with a provoking message! It said:
Tom Marvolo Riddle!
After five seconds the letters were rearranged into
I am Lord Voldemort!
Every twenty-thirty paces the young man cast that spell, expecting trouble with this, some shopkeepers tried to dispel the signs, the signs were protected against it, but it backfired, and the signs started to duplicate.
That made the shop owners close their doors and the customers hurry home. Trouble did arrive, fifteen men in Death Eater garbs entered the Alley and started to dispel the signs, soon the alley was filled.
I personally witnessed the Death Eaters stop moving, and one by one collapse, I did not see one spell cast at all. There must have been a lookout because a second group entered the Alley. Astonished, I watched them undergo the same as the first group! Twenty men and women dropped to the pavement within a minute without visible cause!
Four Aurors came in loudly announcing their presence, I guess to scare the Death Eaters away, they too got frozen solid, and the word Idiots appeared on their foreheads.
A third group underwent the same as the first two, then, Dear Readers, He appeared! You know Who tried different spells to dispel the signs, filling the Alley up with them, Suddenly, he stopped moving and collapsed like his followers, then I guess he Portkey'd away.
A new group of Aurors came in and started to disarm the Death Eaters and pull their Masks off. The results are devastating! Almost everyone who got away with the Imperio curse excuse was lying on the floor! Malfoy! He just got free due to a so-called mix-up in the Potter Longbottom incident! Nott, Avery, Yaxley, both Lestranges, but also new faces, newly graduated Heirs, SIXTY Purebloods!
All of them supposed to be respectable pillars of our community were squirming on the pavement!
The mystery young man must have a grudge against the Death Eaters, somehow all of them had their Magic Core destroyed!
I heard a bystander comment, "Serves them right, they kill the Longbottom boy and put the Boy Who Lived in a Coma, and two weeks later they were set free by those corrupt bastards from the Ministry. Now they got what they deserved without letting them off. Thank you, whoever did this, Thank You."
I can not do anything else than agree with that Bystander. Malfoy was clearly involved in that raid that killed Heir Longbottom, and a few weeks later he was set free, just before Madam Bones was voted as the new Minister.
Minister Bones, it is time you clean that cesspit we call the Ministry, that mysterious Young man gave you a head start.
The reporter preferred to stay anonymous.
The complete list of Squibs, on page 2
What spells have been used by that young man? We guess on page 3
Dark Lords and Childish Anagrams on page 4
Where do we dump squibs? We speculate on page 4
How dangerous is a Squib Lord? More on page 5
How easy is it to Bribe a Ministry worker? We test it in the following days
Who is the young man? Play Witch Monthly offers a yearly subscription for his name.
Dirt from the pavements, how hard is it to clean out of the robes? TWW gives tips.
Xxxxx
Breakfast with Tonks was not awkward… not as awkward as I expected, Lilly and Tonks were talking about the Flushing Potion she needed to take and the Recipe how to brew it.
She told Hermione: "You have traces of potions in your body too, Hermione, I suspect they flushed them out because they acted negatively with that Curse you got. You better take another Flushing Potion."
I showed the headlines to the girls, "Last night I eliminated a bunch of Death Eaters, and squibbed Tom in Diagon Alley." I announced, "Pettigrew was among them, and Lucius too. Rastaban and Rudolphus most certainly were there. That will make Trixy happy, married to a squib."
Tonks gasped: "You made squibs out of Death Eaters? How many?"
I grinned: "Fifteen apparated in and started Dispelling, I froze them, destroyed their cores, cut one of their Achilles' tendons, and silenced them, the next batch was twenty Death Eaters, and the third twenty-five, all got the same treatment. Then Tom came in, he too started with Dispelling the signs, he even did not feel me coming. When I was done with him, I slapped a Portkey on him to the DoM."
Tonks jumped up: "Morgana's saggy tits! I have to report in! What can I tell them, Sirius? Withholding information from my boss will get me fired."
"Whatever you want, hun," I answered, then I asked: "Did you tell your boss everything about the Order of the Phoenix?"
Tonks stopped mid-action and turned to me: "No, I did not, I should have, my oaths demand it. How could I avoid that?"
Lilly commented: "Probably the same way the Death Eaters in the DMLE did. Think about it. Maybe you can ask why Lucius was released, he was in the DoM raid."
"Remember, Pettigrew was the Secret Keeper and blew up those twelve Muggles." I called after her when Tonks ran outside.
Hermione looked at me and asked: "How did you manage to squib sixty Dead Eaters? Didn't they notice you or the spells?"
I explained how I did it, "I used ancient Druid Spells, Hermione, an invisibility Spell, and a spell that made me one with the surroundings, no sound, no smell, not even my Magic presence. It completely erased my being. Then I used a Spell that locked their skeleton up, it froze the joints between the bones, so they could not move or cast. That spell is invisible and I can cast it wandless in less than a second, after that, destroying their Magic core was easy. Riddle never saw me coming."
I smiled, "Our freezing spell can not be Dispelled by a Finite, it needs a Druid Spell, so once they were frozen they were sitting Ducks."
Hermione was unsure: "Did you need to destroy their Magic core?"
I got serious: "If I would let one of them go, and the next day he rapes a girl or kills a Muggle family, what would that make me? The first war made it clear that they had no morals or a conscience. Dumbledore did nothing to get all of the Death Eaters in Azkaban, look what it did to Harry and Neville. And didn't you notice that Malfoy was running free after his stunt in the DoM?"
Xxxxx
After breakfast, it was time to make some plans, my first course of action was: "Dobby! Come here please!"
It took a while, but Dobby popped in, he looked at me and asked: "You be Doggyfather, and not doggyfater, Who you be?"
I showed my Lord ring: "Yesterday the old man and his Phoenix club summoned me and Lilly from another World. Gringotts accepted me as the real Sirius Black. Which means I am now Harry's Godfather. As his godfather I ask, would you want to be Harry's House elf?"
Lilly silenced Hermione, while Dobby jumped up and down: "Yes! Dobby very much wants to!"
"Alright, I, Sirius Orion Black, accept Dobby into House Potter in my Godson's name. So Mote It Be! Now that is done, I heard of an elf Winky, how is she? Did she find another Family?"
Dobby shook his head: "Winky be weak now, too many butterbeers and no Magic, Winky will die soon."
I told Dobby: "Get her here, Kreacher is getting old and can use some help. If she wants to be a House Black Elf, bring her here."
In the meantime, Lilly was whispering to Hermione to cure her of her delusions. Then I remembered, "Dinkle? Come here please!"
Kreacher popped in: "Dinkle be dead, Master, When Lord Arcturus died, someone called Dinkle, Kreacher can not feel Dinkle anymore."
I sighed: "I liked Dinkle, you heard me say I am from another world, didn't you Kreacher? In that world, I lived with Grandfather. Mother was banned to France for using Crucio's on me and Regulus, Dinkle took care of me and Reggie."
Dobby popped in with Winky in his arms, I put my hand with the Lord's ring on Winky's head and said: "I Lord Black invite the Elf Winky to join our Family as a House Black Elf! Does Winky accept?"
Winky asked with a weak voice: "Winky be a proper elf again? Winky in a family again?"
I nodded: "See those three girls? They will be the ladies of the House, you are needed to take care of them and our children. Do you accept, Winky?"
"Winky accept, Master Black. Winky wants to be a proper House elf again." she weakly answered.
"Great," I smiled, "Kreacher, see to it that Winky has a proper place to live, Winky, you are off duty until you are fully recuperated, Kreacher will make sure of that as the main elf. Dobby, your task is to make sure Harry is safe, stay with him 24/7, only leave him to get food or go to the toilet. Take a pillow or blankets to sleep on, if Harry is in danger, protect him or bring him here. Can you do that?"
Dobby nodded: "Dobby can, Dobby will hide sneaky in Master Harry's room and protect him." Dobby popped away.
I grinned at Hermione and said: "Let it out, Hermione I can tell that you are bursting with questions, or are they statements?"
Hermione shook her head, "No, Lilly explained it all to me, I feel foolish now."
Lilly gave her a one-armed hug: "Never feel foolish for caring, Hermione. You cared enough for House-elves to demand their freedom, your judgment and research need more work though. Although I can not point a finger, I was once in your shoes and did the same. Maybe we fight for better Elf treatment. Although Dobby and Kreacher are exceptions, most elves are considered part of the family, after all, the better you treat your elf, the more they want to serve."
Xxxxx
I left them to discuss House elves and went to the first Horcrux in the Gaunt shack. I bulldozered through the wards and protections and retrieved the ring, I kept on Dispelling the Ring with all the different spells I knew of, the compulsion and withering spells were removed easily.
I paid a visit to Riddle Manor to see if Nagini is there or some of Tom's slaves, nope, they must be at Malfoy. Meh, my next stop is Hogwarts, I entered through the Shrieking shack and strolled to the castle.
Hmm? McGonagall is at the door? What did I do to her yesterday? Obliviate or let her leave?
She stopped me at the door: "Sirius Black! What are you doing here? And what have you done to Severus and Albus?"
I shrugged: "I passed judgment, Minerva, long overdue I might say. Now I am doing what Albus refused to do, I am here to clean up his mess. You better look for another Potion teacher, and a Transfiguration Professor if you take the Headmaster's job."
I passed her and went upstairs, McGonagall was dazed for a few seconds and went after me: "What have you done to Albus and Severus, Sirius Black?"
I turned to her and snapped: "Something that should have been done years ago, Minerva! I made them squibs as a punishment for how they treated Harry! And yesterday you too were close to being a squib I might say. And yes, you deserved it too."
McGonagall protested: "There is nothing I could have done to deserve to lose my Magic, Sirius!"
I glared at her: "Were you deaf last night? Harry spent ten years in a Cupboard! Who put him there, Minerva? Who put him there and never even checked up on him? A child of one and a half years was put in a dark Cupboard and you didn't give a shit! Imagine growing up in that Hell hole and you didn't give a shit!"
I continued my rant: "He comes to this crap school, small, malnourished, and in rags, you and that bitch Pomfrey didn't do shit to help him, Why? Because Albus said so! Snape is on Harry's case from day one, insulting him, sabotaging him with the help of the Malfoy spawn, and you let it all happen!"
I sighed and calmed down: "Get out of my sight, Minerva because now that I think it over, you deserve to be squibbed too. You and Pomfrey, I hate you both."
I turned and went upstairs to the seventh floor, leaving a shell-shocked McGonagall behind, fuck her, I won't.
Xxxxx
The Tiara was in its usual place, I looked around to see if Tom stashed something more here, this was an ideal location to hide something, I inspected the cabinet the Tiara was in, and discovered back in a corner four small traveling trunks the size of a matchbox, or, for the more modern people the size of a cigarette lighter. I knew it! This must be a part of the loot he gathered during the years on the continent, or this is the stuff he got from this room. It is in my pocket now.
I returned to Grimmauld Place, Hermione, and Luna were in the Library, I showed the four trunks to Lilly: "Riddle stuff, you can check it out later, we need to go to Gringotts with the Horcruxes. We will be back before dinner."
After Lilly told the girls, we spelled ourselves invisible and apparated to Diagon Alley. At the doors, we canceled our spell and I said to the guard, "I am Lord Black, and have several Cursed objects that need dispelling, can I bring them in? It is nasty stuff."
One of the guards took me to a side door and showed me to a waiting room, "We notified Sharpclaw of your arrival."
I told Lilly how I lost my temper at McGonagall I ended with, "There was a moment I wanted to squib her too, years she was Dumbledore's lapdog, she could have joined him."
Lilly warned me: "Be careful with the squibbing, love. They might declare you a Dark Lord. I am curious what Tonks will tell Madam Bones, you know, you have probably saved her life, wasn't she killed this summer after she got elected?"
"With Neville dead and Harry in a coma, this last month is completely different from our previous world." I speculated, "We have to find out what happened this last month. Oh, do you know what happened with Hermione's parents? Do they know where she is and what happened?"
Lilly shook her head, "No, we will take her home for a visit. While we are there, we have to put wards around their place to be safe. And we need to check the wards around the Rookery."
That moment Sharpclaw entered the room with a Goblin I recognized, Sharpclaw introduced us, "Lord Black, Miss Evans, this is Golddigger, the Account Manager of the Potter Account. Golddigger, Lord Black, and Miss Lilly Evans, a Blood test will prove that she is in fact the Mother of Heir Potter. If you all will follow me to my office we will get to the bottom of this."
Xxxxx
In Sharpclaw's office, he asked: "Lord Black, did you have anything to do with the events from yesterday? People saw you walking through Diagon Alley putting signs up with Voldemort's real name. The Death Eaters that appeared and tried to remove the signs, mysteriously got their Magic core destroyed, a total of sixty Death Eaters lost their Magic, even Voldemort lost his Magic and got Portkey'd into the Department of Mysteries."
I shrugged: "They tried to dispel my pretty signs, and most of all, they hurt Harry, they can be glad they are still breathing."
I stopped all discussions when I took my sealed bag out and put it on the table.
"This is the most urgent, Sharpclaw, I need your best Curse breakers on this to remove the Horcruxes on these Heirlooms, and for your information, in Bellatrix Vault that I am about to confiscate, is another."
Two minutes later the office was loaded with Guards and Curse breakers, two hours later we only needed Nagini to die and Harry's scar to vanish. I told Lilly: "Trust Golddigger, I handled with him in other Layers."
Lilly did the Blood test, proving that she is Harry's Mother, Lilly asked: "What can be done for Harry? Is there a way to wake him and remove that curse scar?"
Golddigger shook his head: "I offered our healer and curse breakers to have a look, but Dumbledore prevented it."
Lilly grinned: "Dumbledore will not be a problem, not anymore, I order a full medical examination and a removal of his Curse Scar. I will sign the form as Harry's Mother and Sirius as his lawful Magical guardian. Golddigger, go to the Daily Prophet and give the pages of the Will that said Peter was the Secret Keeper, and Dumbledore was the one who cast the Fidelius. And the list of Guardians where Harry was supposed to go to. I want this arrest warrant on Sirius to go away."
Golddigger asked: "Why do you think Dumbledore will not be a problem anymore?"
I answered: "He was responsible for the rescue team to be too late to save Neville and Harry. Nobody hurts Harry and gets away with it."
Golddigger left with the Will and my and Lilly's statements. However, how will he explain that Lilly and I came back from the death? Meh, they won't notice it, sixty squibs are bigger news.
I turned to Sharpclaw, "I will hire Theodore Tonks to represent me, I will sue the Ministry and Fudge for all they got. What can you tell me about the loans you called in?"
Sharpclaw shook his head: "Not much, almost all of the Lords lost their Magic last night, as head of the family they need to appoint a new Lord or make an Heir the new Lord, some need Regents, it is a complete mess."
I grinned: "Auw, you almost made me feel bad for squibbing them… almost. Malfoy was there too? The reporter recognized him."
Sharpclaw nodded: "He was, so was his Heir. Even the Lestranges. Due to the wording of the marriage contracts, you are officially the New Lord Malfoy and Lord Lestrange."
I grinned at Lilly: "What do you think? Would Hermione object to be the next Lady Malfoy? Cissy will blow a fuse or two."
Sharpclaw grinned evilly: "That will be impossible, a contract has been signed with Lord Greengrass just last week for both his Daughters."
Lilly swore: "That greedy stinking Ferret! If Daphne is the same as in our Layer, the Ferret or she would die. Siri, we better call the Account Managers of the Malfoy and Lestranges here and lock their Vaults."
Sharpclaw laughed: "That would be my pleasure, Griptooth has been taunting me for years that he will take over the Black Accounts and merge them with Malfoy's. I will take care of the paperwork you only need to sign these papers and seal them with your ring. Come back tomorrow and we iron the details out."
I softly said to Lilly: "This Layer will end in a nightmare, Lilly, the Greengrasses? They come with Tracey included!"
Lilly sighed: "We owl them tomorrow and ask for a meeting."
Xxxxx
We took Hermione to her parents, and explained the situation, that they were not happy with the situation was an understatement.
I tried to reassure them: "Mr, Granger, Lilly, and I have put Hermione under House Black and House Potter's protection, and almost all the troublemakers are dealt with. Hermione is completely healed and is ready to go home."
After a lot of discussions, we were allowed to install the wardstones, while Hermione was talking softly with her Mother.
Finally, I made an offer: "Hermione can visit us when you are at work, she doesn't have to leave the house to do it. Our House-elves will come for her if she calls their name."
Mrs. Granger said: "We already changed our plans for our Holiday next week, we can not change it again without losing our deposit. Can Hermione stay those three weeks with you?"
Now, that is what I call a transparent manipulation, Hermione has no doubt explained her new relationship, and Mum approved? Kinky! Her parents are more liberal than I expected, then I remembered Hermione telling me that her parents were Nudists. How could I forget that?
We kissed Hermione goodbye and told her to call on Kreacher until Winky was strong enough. And apparated back home.
Xxxxx
Tonks was waiting for us, and handed me a letter, I opened the letter and read
Lord Black,
Or should I say visitor from another World?
Miss Tonks explained the circumstances of your summoning, after discussing it with the Head of the DOM, we viewed the memory of your summoning.
In that, we found you and Lilly Evans a victim of the situation and we decided to legalize your status as Lord Black and Lady Potter.
We invite you both to tomorrow's Wizengamot to finalize our offer.
Your name has been cleared and the arrest warrants were lifted when your original fell through the veil of Death. Miss Tonks is assigned to you until everything is cleared up.
Madam Amelia Bones
Minister of Magic.
Regent Bones.
Lilly read the letter and smiled: "That will make things a lot easier. What memory exactly did you show, Tonks?"
Tonks blushed: "Two parts, first, the discussion and the reasoning for summoning, and the second part the summoning until you put us to sleep."
I sighed: "So they know it was us that squibbed those Death eaters."
Tonks shyly nodded: "They must have seen that Memory five times until they believed that you can cast spells just by looking at it. I didn't want to show what followed without your permission, some of it is incriminating."
Lilly hugged her: "That is fine for us, Tonks, you are an Auror and you have to follow the rules, did you bring the ingredients for that potion? We can brew it after dinner."
Tonks showed the bag: "Yep, all here, where is Hermione?"
"At home, Lupin told her parents that Hermione had a potion accident and needed specialized treatment." explained Lilly, "Then they didn't receive a word or letter from her, you can understand they were pissed off when we showed up with Hermione, Siri needed to do some serious groveling before they wanted to listen."
Kreacher popped in: "Dinner be ready, Master."
Hmm? That old bastard is softening up on me? Or it is the Locket's influence that is gone.
Lilly asked: "How is Winky, Kreacher?"
"Winky be fine in two weeks, Mistress Lilly, Kreacher be thanking you and Master for saving her. Winky's Mum be my Sister's Daughter."
Cool, that is why he is so nice all of a sudden, Winky is family. Well, I can't fault him for that.
Xxxxx
After dinner, Tonks and Lilly brewed the flushing potion, and Tonks got flushed. She spends two hours on the toilet to get it all out. A shower… three showers and a dozen mouth-cleaning spells later, she joined us in our bed.
I asked: "Aren't you supposed to be on bodyguard duty?"
Tonks straddled me and answered: "How can I guard your body when I am not in the room? There is only one bed, so we have to share, and you, Lord Black, need to have a detailed body inspection. I have to look for anomalies and performance defects. Lilly and Luna are here as assistants to do this delicate job. Luna? Can you test him on how good he is at eating pussy? Yes, just like that."
She smiled at Lilly and commented, "I can already tell you his dick is working fine, how long can he last?"
Lilly grinned and went in front of Tonks, grabbed her hair, and pushed Tonks's face against her snatch: "Less talking, more sucking, Bodyguard. Lord Black, speed it up, we are going to show our inspector how it is done."
That is my girl! I'll show her that I am Lord Black! Merlin, she has a tight cunt… must… not… falter...