The next morning, there was a different kind of silence in the dorm than there was the night before. After the event, there wasn't the shocked, heavy silence. It was the tense, focused silence of a hospital ward getting ready for a tough procedure. It was like we were all sick here, and I was both the doctor and the sickness.
There was no one else around for breakfast. While the others ate in silence at the table, they cautiously circled me, making sure not to look directly into my eyes. A gunshot echoed through the tense air, accompanied by the sound of a spoon striking a bowl.
The only one who appeared unfazed was Makoto; he sat across from me, as usual, sipping his coffee calmly, as if nothing were wrong with the world.
Then came Mitsuru. She had regained her composure and was once again the General. While she was pouring her tea, she avoided looking at me.
There is the control room. "Ten minutes," she said to the entire room, her voice piercing through the uncomfortable crowd. "A new Full Moon target has been identified."
Dispelling the enchantment was the mere mention of a mission, a distinct and concrete danger. My concerns became secondary to the larger societal issues. At last, some relief.
There was a giant screen in the control room that showed the Argos, a luxury cruise ship, docked in the harbor. The photograph captured the ship's eerie green light, emitted during the Dark Hour.
"The pattern is clear," Mitsuru started, gesturing with his index finger. "This is the vessel where the Shadow will materialize. There is a strong but contained energy signature. Although there is little danger to civilian infrastructure, the ship's cramped quarters do pose their own unique difficulties."
She touched the screen with her pointer. "Our research points to a connection between the Shadow and ideas of jealousy and stolen glory. In all likelihood, it will target egotism and aspiration."
She looked at me. "Tanaka, this is a safe place. Your goal is to find the main idea and get rid of it with precision. There won't be any room for 'too much force.'" She chose her words carefully and professionally, but the warning was clear. "The rest of you will help and get rid of the physical threat once it is weak."
Akihiko cracked his neck. "A boat? The boat was in extremely close quarters. I like it.
Junpei smiled. "A lovely boat? "Maybe we'll find some treasure!"
Yukari just nodded, looking serious.
Makoto looked me in the eye. His calm look seemed to say, "You can do this."
Being part of a team with a common goal was like having a lifeline. I could return to my role as a tool and temporarily cease being a walking disaster. A highly esteemed instrument for precise work.
That afternoon, Mitsuru started the training he had promised. Cruel and inhumane. I was subjected to an exhausting regimen by her and Akihiko in the dorm's basement, a room with Kirijo-grade shielding that I was unaware even existed.
They didn't use Shadows to attack me. They stressed me out.
Akihiko would hit me over and over again, and I had to dodge and block while Mitsuru threw complicated mental puzzles at me. "The Shadow's idea is DECEPTION!"
"Put CLARITY on Yukari right now!" she'd yell while I was trying to block a jab from Akihiko.
I did not succeed. On and on. My concentration would break. The power would either fade away or, in a few terrifying cases, lash out with a wave of negation that scorched the shielded walls, leaving only patches of absolute nothingness.
"Again!" Akihiko would growl even when he wasn't winded.
"Your emotional control is your protection, Tanaka!" Mitsuru's voice was sharp, like a drill sergeant's.
"Your fear is a weapon you give to the enemy! Disarm yourself."
Mitsuru fired Akihiko during one of these failures, when a particularly harsh psychic backlash from a failed concept imposition had left me on my knees, gasping.
"Give us the room," she said, her voice losing its sharpness.
Akihiko nodded quickly and left, and the heavy door closed behind him.
In front of me, Mitsuru ambled over and took a position. I was anticipating yet another lecture. Instead, she knelt down, bringing us to the same level as our eyes. When she looked at my face, her crimson eyes saw the exhaustion, the frustration, and the shame that I was feeling.
"Listen closely, Kaito," she murmured softly. Reusing my name was like trying to open a locked door with a key. An upward glance escaped me.
"You are attempting to combat the machine as if it were an alien invader," she lectured.
"A battle for your very soul is raging within you. That is an unwinnable war. Her hand gently rested on my shoulder. Its mass was becoming more stable. No, the Entity is on your side."
"To put it simply, it is your essence. Your desire for order and your will to protect have taken shape. You have to change your perspective from viewing it as a monster to be tamed to seeing it as the power you were destined to have."
Her words went deeper than all the training and orders. She didn't tell me to take charge of it. She was telling me to deal with it.
"Every time you panic, it panics with you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Because it's you."
"It is exact when you are calm. When you are focused, your mind becomes sharp like a knife. When you're scared, it turns into a club. Your stability is what makes it stable."
In my mind, I was reminded of the Reaper, of the perfect and controlled imposition of continued persistence. When I was calm, I had been. It has been resolved. Also, the Entity had responded in a similar manner.
Despite the fact that my voice was rough, I admitted, "I don't know how to be that calm all the time."
"Nobody does," she replied, her voice tinged with a deep sense of understanding. "That's precisely why we're here for you." "That's the reason I'm here for you."
Her hand gripped my shoulder with a gentle intensity. "In moments when fear begins to swell, you seek my presence."
Our gazes intertwine. "Remember, you are never alone on this journey; there are others walking alongside you."
The confession, which was both superficial and profound, lingered in the air between us. She was extending herself to me as a means of connecting me to humanity. In the midst of the mental storm, my beacon of light.
I reached out and placed my hand on top of hers. The connection was electric, despite the fact that it was cold. "Okay," I quietly exhaled. I will do it."
She helped me get up, and her hand lingered in mine for a moment longer than it should have. When she pulled away, the General's mask went back into place, but her eyes stayed soft.
"All right. Once more. This idea is DECEPTION. Your friend doesn't understand. Make things CLEAR." "This time, take a deep breath."
I nodded my head. I shut my eyes. I didn't reach for the Entity as if it were a separate thing. I reached for it as myself. I thought about how Mitsuru looked at me and how she believed in me. I found the part of myself that wanted order and protection, which was the core of my will.
I took a deep breath. I let out a deep sigh. I brought forth a sense of clarity. A gentle, muted glow radiated from within, serene and composed. It made contact with the intended target—a sensor node crafted to mimic a bewildered companion—and the tumultuous data on Mitsuru's screen immediately transformed into a clear, harmonious pattern.
Perfect and Flawless.
I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the world around me with a deep breath, feeling a wave of emotions wash over me. Mitsuru gazed at her screen, a heartfelt smile of victory lighting up her face. It was truly breathtaking, a sight that filled my heart with wonder.
"It appears you simply required the perfect encouragement," she remarked, her tone infused with a gentle warmth that enveloped the sterile room.
The nights that followed in Tartarus held a different essence. I felt unique. I wasn't battling the Entity. I was deeply engaged with it. As the Shadow lunged forward, I remained calm and composed. I took a deep breath. In the midst of the turmoil, Mitsuru's serene and authoritative aura enveloped me, guiding my actions with an elegant precision.
I had shed the weight of my past, no longer an explosive force waiting to detonate. I was on the path to becoming a surgeon.
The night of the Full Moon graced us with its luminous presence. We stood on the deck of the Argos, the green moon casting its gentle glow upon the dark, tranquil water. The Shadow emerged—a haunting, multifaceted entity, each visage a mask of envy, cradling a mirror that revealed warped reflections of our deepest longings.
It was profoundly moving. Its deceptions warped our understanding, leading us to view friends as foes and to mistake the allure of power for the lurking threat it truly was.
Yet, I stood prepared. I caught Mitsuru's eyes from across the deck. Her eyes sparkled with clarity, unwavering focus, and deep trust. With a gentle nod, she acknowledged the moment.
I took a deep breath.
I exhaled deeply.
I perceived the essence of the Shadow not as a tumultuous tempest, but rather as an intricate mechanism waiting to be unlocked. LONGING. A longing for the possessions of others.
The contrary was far from an effortless idea to grasp. It lacked the warmth of true generosity. It was a feeling of deep satisfaction and peace. It was the serene comfort of abundance.
I embraced a sense of tranquility.
The effect was profound. The Shadow's wailing cries of envy turned into sighs of resignation. Its grasping hands stilled. The illusions flickered and died. It didn't fight its end. It simply... accepted it.
The team advanced, and with a synchronized, decisive blow, they broke its essence apart.
As it faded away, I no longer felt the overwhelming exhaustion I had experienced earlier or the heaviness I once felt. I felt a freshening tiredness, but it was a refreshing kind of weariness. The weariness that comes after pouring your heart into a task, knowing it was accomplished with care.
On the walk back, Junpei clapped me on the back. "Nice one, man! You totally zen'd that thing!"
Yukari gave me a small, real smile. "That was amazing, Kaito."
Even Akihiko offered a grunt of approval. "Control. Good."
Yet, the reaction that truly mattered came from Mitsuru. As we strolled, she gracefully matched my pace, a silent connection forming between us. Her silence spoke volumes. She really didn't need to. Her gaze spoke volumes.
A deep sense of fulfillment and honor. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. And there was a profound feeling, one that quickened the rhythm of my heart.
I confronted the depths of my soul, and for the very first time, I emerged unscathed. With her support, I crafted a bridge that spanned the divide. The masterpiece had transformed, shedding its tragic essence. A tale of transformation was unfolding.
For the very first time, I found the courage to embrace the possibility that I could truly deserve a joyful conclusion.