One Kick Girl — Chapter 212
"The Cost Center Nobody Budgeted For"
Nobody had put it on a spreadsheet.
No one had forecast it, modeled it, or added it as a line item under Operational Risk. It didn't show up in quarterly planning decks or post-pilot retrospectives.
But everyone felt it.
The cost of momentum.
1. The Invisible Invoice
It arrived quietly.
Not as an email. Not as a meeting invite. Not even as a complaint.
It arrived as fatigue.
Raon felt it mid-morning, staring at a dashboard that said everything was "green" while her body insisted something was wrong.
Velocity was holding.
Deadlines were being met.
Decisions were being made.
So why did it feel heavier than before?
She leaned back, eyes closed.
"Something's off," she muttered.
Shion didn't look up from her screen. "Yes."
That was all.
2. Speed Has a Carrier
Speed didn't float on its own.
It had a carrier.
A person.
Or a few people.
Raon was one of them.
She hadn't volunteered for the role. It had simply attached itself to her the way responsibility always did — quietly, then all at once.
Requests routed to her "for clarity."
Questions framed as alignment checks.
Decisions delayed until she weighed in, even when she wasn't the owner.
She was becoming the unofficial cost center.
3. The Pattern Emerges
Shion mapped it out that afternoon.
Not on a slide. On a legal pad.
Names. Threads. Decision points.
Lines connecting everything back to the same nodes.
Raon.
Two others.
And a long tail of people who benefited without absorbing friction.
"See?" Shion said softly.
Raon leaned over.
"…They're outsourcing decisiveness."
"Yes," Shion replied. "To the people least afraid of being wrong."
Raon exhaled.
"That's not sustainable."
"No," Shion said. "It's convenient."
4. The Compliment That Isn't
It came wrapped in praise.
A senior leader pinged Raon directly.
"Just wanted to say — really appreciate how you keep things moving. Huge value add."
Raon stared at the message.
She typed.
Deleted.
Typed again.
Finally sent:
"Happy to help. Who owns the next decision?"
There was a pause.
Then:
"Let's discuss."
She smiled grimly.
5. Discussion as Deferral
The meeting was scheduled for thirty minutes.
It ran ninety.
Agenda items drifted.
Concerns surfaced.
Risks were named but not owned.
At the end, the leader said:
"Raon, maybe you can synthesize and propose next steps?"
She nodded.
Outwardly.
Inside, something hardened.
6. Shion Calls It
Afterward, Shion closed the meeting notes.
"They didn't decide," she said. "They transferred."
Raon rubbed her temples.
"I feel like a relay runner who never gets to pass the baton."
"Because no one else is standing in the lane," Shion replied.
7. The Burn Rate No One Sees
Velocity metrics stayed high.
But so did Raon's cognitive load.
She stopped eating lunch.
She answered messages faster than they arrived.
She preempted questions before they were asked.
Efficiency became instinctive — and invisible.
That invisibility was dangerous.
Because invisible work was assumed to be free.
8. The First Crack
It happened in a small moment.
A teammate asked, "Can you just sanity-check this?"
Raon opened the doc.
Saw three unresolved decisions.
None assigned.
Her chest tightened.
"No," she said.
The teammate blinked.
"…No?"
"No," Raon repeated. "Assign an owner."
There was an awkward pause.
"Oh. Okay."
The teammate walked away, confused.
Shion watched quietly.
"That was new," she said.
Raon swallowed.
"I don't think I can keep catching everything."
9. The Cost Center Names Itself
Shion did something unexpected.
She added a new section to the team's internal dashboard.
Title:
Decision Load Distribution
It wasn't flashy.
Just numbers.
Who owned decisions. How many. How often.
Raon's column was… noticeable.
So were the empty ones.
People noticed.
Questions followed.
10. Defensive Humor
In a meeting, someone laughed.
"Wow, Raon, you're carrying the team."
She didn't smile.
"I'm carrying decisions," she said. "That's different."
The laughter faded.
11. Leadership Notices — Late
A VP finally asked the question that should've been asked weeks ago.
"Why are so many decisions landing on the same people?"
Silence followed.
Shion waited.
Raon waited.
Eventually, someone said:
"They're just… proactive."
Raon leaned forward.
"No," she said evenly. "We're just not hiding."
12. The Word Nobody Likes
"Burnout."
She said it plainly.
The room shifted.
"We're not burned out," someone replied quickly.
Raon nodded.
"Not yet."
13. The Accounting Metaphor
Shion spoke next.
"Velocity has a cost," she said calmly. "Right now, it's being paid by a few individuals. That doesn't scale."
The VP frowned.
"So what do you suggest?"
Shion didn't hesitate.
"Distribute ownership or accept slower speed."
The room resisted.
They wanted both.
14. The Unbudgeted Line Item
Leadership asked for a follow-up doc.
Shion titled it:
Hidden Operational Costs of Decision Centralization
Raon laughed when she saw it.
"That's going to scare them."
"Yes," Shion said. "Good."
15. Pushback Returns
The reactions were predictable.
"This feels rigid."
"Not everything needs an owner."
"Can't we just trust people to step up?"
Raon responded once.
"Trust without clarity creates dependency."
She didn't elaborate.
16. The Quiet Exodus
Something else started happening.
People who'd relied heavily on Raon… pulled back.
Not maliciously.
Just uncomfortable being asked to choose.
Some avoided threads entirely.
Some delayed.
Velocity dipped — selectively.
And for the first time, Raon let it.
17. Letting It Break
A deliverable slipped.
Not catastrophically.
Just enough to be noticed.
The escalation came quickly.
"What happened?"
Raon answered honestly.
"No decision owner."
There was no defensiveness in her voice.
Just fact.
18. The Realization
It clicked then.
For leadership.
Speed hadn't come from the process alone.
It had come from a few people absorbing chaos.
They hadn't removed friction.
They'd concentrated it.
19. Rebalancing Hurts
A new directive followed.
Explicit limits.
Max concurrent decisions per person.
Mandatory ownership assignment.
Not optional.
Not polite.
Structural.
Raon read it carefully.
"…They finally budgeted for it."
Shion nodded.
"Late," she said. "But real."
20. The Emotional Aftermath
That night, Raon felt strange.
Lighter.
And oddly… sad.
"Why do I feel guilty," she asked, "for not carrying everything?"
Shion replied gently.
"Because you've been rewarded for it your whole life."
Raon stared at the ceiling.
"Yeah."
21. The New Balance
Work didn't feel smooth anymore.
There were bumps.
Awkward pauses.
People learning to decide.
Some stumbled.
Some surprised themselves.
Velocity wasn't constant.
But it was shared.
22. Raon Reclaims Space
Raon took a full lunch.
Ignored Slack for an hour.
The world didn't end.
She smiled faintly.
23. Closing Thought
Velocity returned.
Trust remained fragile.
But something else grew quietly underneath.
Sustainability.
And for the first time, Raon felt like she wasn't alone in carrying the weight.
She kicked less.
But when she did—
It mattered.
END OF CHAPTER 212