"Okay, I have it set as my ignitor." I closed out of my game screen and stood in my living room. Jay was walking me through the final steps while Church gathered a backpack full of supplies. He was starting to calm down, finally, but he still looked at me weirdly whenever I talked with Jay. I wondered if he believed anything I said, but everything was just moving too damn fast to stop and think. It was hard for me, even, to come to terms with what was happening. Not even an hour ago, I was eating the arm of a zombie like a damn chicken wing. It still tasted awful in my mouth, which made me self-conscious suddenly about my breath.
"Good. Go ahead and give it a spin," Jay said.
I pulled the Zippo out and held it in my hand. It now faintly glowed a reddish light after I set it as my ignitor on my game screen. I flipped the top open with a quick flick, and a new screen appeared in front of me that said CLASSES. There was only one class available, and it was already selected. There was also a bunch of text explaining the lone class.
Angel Zombie
An angelic being that became corrupted upon leaving heaven. God doesn't want them, Satan won't take them, so you might as well change into one!
Skills
Glide
Now you can fall in style! For each level, you will fall slowly to the ground for 10 seconds.
Talk to Dead
Who said you die alone? You can now speak to the dead! Good luck getting them to shut up.
Undead
You're not just dead, you're undead! You are immune to the debuffs of poison, zombification, disease, stamina drain, charm, frightened, and quesofication.
"Quesofication?", I muttered.
"Ooh yeah, that's a nasty one! Does it give protection against that?" Jay asked. I nodded and kept reading.
Spells
Wailing
You scream forth a blast of psionic power. This can cause fear in enemies. This will deal 10d2 and an additional 10d2 every three levels.
Regrowth
Don't just grow, regrow! Your health regen is increased by four points a minute. This gains an extra point per minute per level.
Self-Made Weaponsmith
Everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth with a ripped-off limb! You are able to remove a limb and use it as a clubbing weapon. Removing a limb causes 2d2 self-damage. The limb is treated as a club with crushing power and will increase your attack by an additional 8d2. The limb can also be reattached at any time.
"Jay, it says stuff like this spell deals 10d2. Is this D&D? What is this?" I asked.
"I don't know what that is, but that just means the game will calculate damage by flipping its own coin ten times. One side equals one point of damage; the other equals two. This means you can do a maximum of twenty damage or a minimum of ten, or somewhere in between. Probably somewhere in between. If you get maximum damage, that's a critical hit and will do something extra like more damage or have a special effect." Jay had found some knitting needles by the recliner and was using her tentacles to play with them as she told me this.
"Yeah, that's D&D," I said. "Do you play that back home? Is it intergalactic?"
"Again, I don't know what that is, Max. It's just flipping coins for everything." One of the needles fell out of her tentacles and bounced on the ground. "Dang it!" She knelt down to pick it up to continue playing with it. Church came into the living room with my backpack slung over one shoulder, with Patti following him, tail wagging. He had found my dog treats and had some in his hand.
He tossed one up in the air for Patti to catch before setting the backpack down and opening it up. "I got some water bottles filled, some Pop-Tarts, extra socks, lighter fluid, a flashlight, some batteries, a pocket knife, a big ass knife, and an extendable baton… which is weird that you have. I am also bringing a bunch of trash bags, some frozen peas, and of course a bag of Patti's treats." He looked at Patti staring at him while sitting patiently. "Oh yeah! I found these cute band-aids as well!" He pulled out a box of Rugrats branded Band-Aids. Jay's tentacles flew out in laughter, and I snatched the box in shame from Church. These were the only Band-Aids I would let my parents use on me as a kid, but why were they here? It's been almost two decades since I last wore one!
"Cartoon baby bandages? Really, Max?" Jay managed to get out between laughs.
"I won't hear any mockery of Tommy Pickles in my house!" I said sternly.
Church frowned and said, "Man, I'm not making fun of it. I think they're pretty cool."
I looked at Church and back to the box. Did my dad save these? I handed them back slowly to Church. "Yeah, they're pretty cool, dude. Good job getting the supplies."
Church smiled at me, and it was maybe the first time I had seen him not look completely tense. It went away after a moment, and he said, "So… are you going to change? And am I going to pass out when you do?"
"Nah, Jay said you should be good, but that we should also enter into a party together just to be safe," I said.
"Oh, okay. Like D&D?" I turned to Jay and mouthed "Told you!" at her. "How do we do that?" Church asked.
Jay said when we shook hands, it'd automatically enter him into my party. She said if he had a token, there would have been a prompt to see who joined whom. I pocketed the Zippo and stood in front of Church, holding out my hand. He just stared at it. I looked down and back up to Church, who looked worried.
"What?" I asked.
Church just kept looking at my hand, and it dawned on me that I was becoming way too comfortable with everything. My hand was a skeleton hand. It looked like some Halloween store shit, and it made me sad thinking about how people might be intimidated by my appearance now, or worse, freaked out. I started to lower my hand and head as this thought dawned on me, but before I could, Church reached out and gave me a firm handshake. Maybe a bit too firm, but he was scared after all. Text appeared between us that said Party: Max Milden, Church Fenwick. I looked at Church and smiled.
"Dude, why is your mouth open?" Church asked. "And did it work?"
"Huh?" I said. Is that what happened when I smiled now?! I closed my mouth and continued. "Sorry, I was uh… happy. Also, it looks like we're officially in a party together. I think I can try this transformation thing with no worries of you passing out." We stopped shaking, and Church went to sit on the couch with Patti, patiently waiting next to him for her next treat. I pulled the Zippo out and flipped it open. The class selection screen appeared again, and it was still selected on Angel Zombie. "Okay, I'm going to do it. In three… two… O-"
Church stood up suddenly, yelling, "WAIT!"
I froze and looked at him. Jay was clumsily attempting to knit with her tentacles and froze as well. "Uh, what's up, bud?" I asked.
Church frowned and looked down at my dog. "What about Patti? Doesn't she need to be in the party?"
I opened my mouth to say, "Of course not, why would she?" but I stopped. What the hell did I know? So I turned to Jay and asked, "Can… Patti, join my party?"
Jay looked down at the startled dog, who was on alert from the yelling. She began checking her own screen and finally said, "I guess so?" Her arms and face tentacles went up in an "I don't know" motion. I looked back at Patti and clicked my tongue. She came at once to stand in front of me, tongue lolling around happily. I held my hand out and she put her paw on mine. To my surprise, the party screen popped up and said she was now our third member. I let her paw go, and I gave her a little head scratch. She stood up and looked happily around at everyone.
"Okay, Patti is our third party member now, I guess. Is it okay to change now?" I asked, looking at everyone.
Church proudly smiled and nodded before sitting down. Patti went to sit by Jay this time, who appeared to be getting the hang of knitting already, as there was the beginning of something appearing from the needle tips. I pulled the Zippo out once more and flipped it open. The screen appeared, and Angel Zombie was selected. I looked at everyone and pulled myself up tall. Be brave, Max. You can do this.
"Okay, I can do this. In three… two… one…" I hesitated. It felt like I was having to give myself my own shot at a doctor's office. It was scaring me. Jay cleared her throat, and I looked over to her. She nodded at me twice, and I realized she was encouraging me. That little gesture was what I needed to pull it together. I took a deep breath, put my thumb on the flint wheel, pressed down harder than I needed to, and quickly spun it. There was an explosion of dense, purple smoke that surrounded me fully, and I felt my body change.