I slowly followed a dirt path someone had laid.
The sun rose, and set.
Before long, I was gasping for breath.
It wasn't from strenuous exercise. It was simply because I was old.
After all, how much farther could a dying man possibly go?
I had left the capital as Sakiko-san had said, but I hadn't managed to get very far.
I had no will to leave in the first place; my heart had long since grown cold, and my body was old.
"…I suppose my second life ends here."
Forty years old. The thought suddenly struck me that it was still too early an age to die.
But considering the age at which I had originally met my end and was reborn into this world, I had lived a very long time.
I died at twenty, so I had lived exactly twice as long.
"I've lived long. Who would have thought I'd live this long."
I was exhausted. I couldn't move anymore. My legs wouldn't obey.
Fortunately, there was an abandoned house nearby.
It was a decrepit house, covered in dust. But I felt a sense of comfort.
It didn't take me long to realize the reason for this comfort.
"I'm no salmon; I never thought I'd return here…"
This was the house where I had lived with Tamamo… with Mizukume. The house we had shared for two years before leaving the village.
*So it was left unused and abandoned. Or perhaps the village itself is gone.*
The village seemed deserted. Was it because of youkai? I wanted to look around, but my body wouldn't listen.
Instead, I went inside the house and lay down.
There were no quilts and pillowcases made of fine fabric. I lay down, covering myself with a lopsided blanket and using a hard wooden pillow.
Lying down and staring at the ceiling, sleepiness washed over me.
*The moment I close my eyes, I'll die.*
I had a powerful premonition of it.
"…Not yet. Not yet."
A week had passed since I left. It was obviously impossible for me to survive the remaining two weeks here and return to the capital.
But still, I couldn't close my eyes now.
There was unfinished business. There were words left unsaid.
I forced my body up and went outside.
It was a night with the moon high overhead.
I looked out at the field, now overgrown with weeds. Beyond it lay the field I used to farm.
Mizukume would wait for me here or go to the village to run errands.
I couldn't escape from my memories. Tears occasionally flowed.
A chilly wind blew. My body shivered even in the light breeze. My eyes kept trying to close.
But I couldn't take my eyes off that field. Something. A strange and powerful intuition…
"...…Hm?"
I saw something.
There was someone crossing the field, parting the lush grass.
As if entranced, I took a step forward.
As the distance between it and me closed, my heart pounded.
"…Father…?"
"Mizukume?"
It was a name I hadn't uttered in a very long time.
Seeing me, Mizukume's face began to contort with tears.
"What is this? Are you mocking me until the very end? How dare you take Father's form…!"
"Wait. Hold on. There seems to be some misunderstanding."
"You…!"
Something cold touched my neck. I felt a sharp sting.
A large claw that had shot out from Mizukume's body was at my throat. It vanished in an instant.
"Huh? Really? Eh…? Why is Father here?"
Seeing her flustered and confused face, I knew she was my child.
Her body had matured to the point where she could no longer be called a child… but to me, she was always the same Mizukume.
"You've gotten… a bit scary. Are you still angry?"
My heart felt strangely at ease.
"Father…!"
Mizukume threw herself into my arms. Unable to withstand her strength, I fell back onto the grass.
"Father! Fatherrr…!"
Mizukume buried her head in my chest and rubbed her face against it. In an instant, my clothes were soaked.
Apart from that, the tightness in my chest felt as if it had been cleared away.
Whenever I thought of this child, my heart had always been heavy.
The words I'd spoken that day kept coming back to me, keeping me up at night. I felt lonely, thinking she would live her life cursing me.
But seeing her act so much like a child again, all those thoughts vanished completely.
"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It was all my fault."
"No, Father. It's all because of me. You did nothing wrong. It was all me…"
Looking closely, I saw that Mizukume had fox ears on her head.
Not only that, but she also had a gently swaying tail.
Like a sinner, she cast her eyes down.
"It's because I'm a filthy youkai…."
*So she misunderstood what I meant by 'filthy'.*
I touched her cute fox ears. Mizukume's tail stood on end.
"Ah… Father."
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"...Yes."
The story Mizukume told was so sudden it was hard to believe.
Instead of saying anything, I just held Mizukume tighter.
I was sorry I couldn't be with her when she was alone and trembling in fear.
"I thought you hated me."
"I thought you would hate me…."
We also discovered we had been under a foolish misunderstanding.
I had thought Mizukume would come to find me, and Mizukume had thought I would go to find her.
"What is this? If I had known, I would have just gone to see you…!"
Mizukume cried and laughed. I, too, laughed awkwardly.
But the laughter turned into a cough. It wouldn't stop.
"Cough…! Cough…!"
"A-Are you alright, Father?!"
*Of all times, why now?*
I wanted to curse this reality that unfolded like a tragic drama.
My head was hot. The world was spinning so much I couldn't even meet Mizukume's eyes.
Through my blurred vision, I could see Mizukume shouting something.
Beneath her mature appearance, I could recall the face of the young Mizukume.
"No. Don't go…! This… This isn't fair. This is… it's too much!"
She was crying for me.
The misunderstanding was resolved.
I had such a beautiful, kind, and intelligent child as my daughter.
At the end of my life, which had been that of a mere stranger, the most precious person to me was by my side.
"No. Please don't die… Please…. Father! …Dad!"
Isn't that enough?
Isn't that alone more than enough, a life overflowing with blessings?
He died.
Tamamo-no-Mae couldn't take her eyes off the corpse for a long time.
"I… I need to cast a spell on him. Ah…"
Even if she did, he would never open his eyes again.
And even if he were to rise again, he would not be the person she remembered.
"Ha… hahaha…."
She stood up. With dead eyes, she stared beyond the field.
The ground was rumbling.
The pursuit squad had arrived at her home.
She heard the snorting of horses, the sound of swords being drawn from their sheaths.
"…I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of it."
Despair, fear, anger, sadness.
All sorts of negative emotions swirled within her.
She and the pursuit squad faced each other across the field.
"Have you finally given up on fleeing? Good. I'll kill you and claim a fortune in gold."
"…Hah."
Tamamo-no-Mae scoffed.
She needed someone to explain just what this human had babbled.
"Who dares say they'll kill me? How laughable. So absurd… I feel I might go mad."
She raised her hand. Immediately, her familiars, the foxes, appeared on the ground.
Their numbers far surpassed those of the pursuit squad.
"Wh-What is this!"
"Captain! There are too many of them! At least three times our number!"
"They are merely foxes! Something like this is…!"
Tamamo-no-Mae's hand pointed to the ground.
"Kill them all."
With their mistress's permission, the foxes began the slaughter.
They tore at throats, and two would latch onto a man and rip him in half.
Blood soaked the grass. Screams were heard. The stench of death spread across the field.
After it was over, Tamamo sank to the ground again.
"...…Father."
She called her father's name.
He lay on the ground, a peaceful smile on his face.
*What could have made you so happy?* she wanted to ask.
But never again. His lips would never open again.
Not unless the miracle of a second life was granted. Never.
"In the end. I was never able to tell you."
She pressed her lips to his. Her wish had been granted, yet she felt no joy at all.
What meaning was there?
What meaning was there in living anymore?
And so, Tamamo-no-Mae stayed by her dead father's side.
After a little time had passed, another army of humans appeared.
From the menacing troop that had formed an encirclement, a man swaggered forward.
As if addressing a friend, he spoke to Tamamo in a light tone.
"Is he gone? It seems the spell worked well. He must not have suffered much at the end."
"…Abe no Seimei. Was that your spell?"
"Yes. I also placed a ward to block other spells, just in case. Fortunately, it seems you didn't do anything strange. What a relief."
Tamamo-no-Mae looked up at Seimei.
Seimei narrowed his eyes. The feeling was familiar.
An aura that could potentially be a threat.
'Well, it hardly matters now.'
Seimei paid it no mind.
"…Make it quick."
"Hmm. I don't usually grant requests from youkai. But I'll make a special exception for you."
Tamamo-no-Mae lifted her father and slowly crossed the field.
The commotion that arose from the human army was quelled by Seimei.
"Master Onmyoji. Are you saying we should just leave that thing be? Surely that is not…"
"Is there any need to provoke it? That thing is already dead."
"What?"
*Trudge, trudge.* She walked into the old house.
The moment she opened the door and stepped inside, tears burst forth again.
The old, hand-worn furniture. The shabby walls. The old clothes and bedding.
-A child must eat a lot to grow strong. Here, I'll give you half.
-…Yes.
Memories surfaced. Moments when her stomach was filled with warmth.
An eternal moment that would never return.
The memory of those small, precious days pierced her heart.
"Father. You know, I practiced singing a lot to sing for you."
She laid her father's head on her lap.
Sitting there, looking down at his face, she sang a song without lyrics.
"♩ ~♫♩ ~"
A song laced with tears, not beautiful but a mess.
A noise that couldn't hold a pitch, let alone keep a rhythm.
But she sang with more heart than anyone.
"♩~"
Her throat choked up. She kept having to take deep breaths.
But she sang, imagining her father's happy reaction.
"…"
At last, the song ended.
An arrow, flying through the window, pierced her chest.
Thus, the youkai Tamamo-no-Mae was exterminated.