"Do you love me?"
"...Perhaps."
No one gets married over a 'perhaps'.
Having presided over weddings many times myself, I knew this well.
Commoners love like a blazing fire.
To them, marriage was the blossoming of love, the crystallization of its purest form.
Just by watching them gaze at each other with such ardent eyes,
as a fellow human, I came to admire them.
In the case of the nobles' arranged marriages, there was no such passion.
They married in complete indifference.
Their only interests were the benefits a marriage would bring, such as the other party's political standing or economic power.
The family's gain was the measure of the marriage.
Occasionally, heirs of families with no connection, or even hostile ones, would marry in secret, away from the prying eyes of others, but,
those cases were truly rare, and their ends were rarely beautiful.
"Did you love our master?"
"I admired his strength. But if you're asking if I felt any familial love... I don't think so."
It felt like a confessional.
"Then what did you feel from our master's death?"
"Death."
His vacant eyes looked down at the scriptures.
Am I in that empty heart of his?
Or is there just a trophy in the shape of the woman called 'me'?
I tried to take his hand, only to realize just how cold a person's hand could be.
"I realized that I have nothing."
He lifted our joined hands.
Slowly. He brought them to his cheek, until they touched.
The dampness of rainwater on his skin seeped into my hand, which was clean from my bath.
"So I just wish there was someone. Anyone."
Anyone.
Those words pierced my heart.
My sense of duty to guide a lost lamb to the right path was overshadowed by my own personal feelings.
Why won't you look at me?
My heart ached.
"Why me, of all people? If you just need someone to be by your side, you could find anyone."
"...I don't know."
Such a foolish person.
If you had just whispered false words of love, I would have been deceived.
If you had told me to abandon everything and leave with you, I would have done it.
Seeing his composed face, the rims of my eyes reddened.
"Lupus. Look at me."
I called his name. His expression turned sullen.
Lupus, his name meaning 'wolf', had been given to him by our master.
He disliked his name because it carried a meaning close to a curse: 'You are a man destined to be lonely for life.'
"...What."
"What do you mean, 'what'? When you talk to someone, you should make eye contact."
"We've talked just fine without it before. You called my name for another reason."
"So you know. If you know, then why are you acting like this?"
He released our clasped hands.
"I don't know. I don't know anything."
It was the same for me.
I didn't know how to comfort him,
or if he was even truly grieving.
"...I'm sorry."
He left.
He disappeared like a ghost, leaving behind only the words, "Forget me."
He, who had probably left to exterminate the demon, did not return.
A year passed.
I was appointed to the position of Cardinal by His Holiness the Pope.
-You've become someone important. Congratulations.
I heard the auditory hallucination again.
"...Your Eminence?"
"Ah. Yes. Where were we?"
Spacing out during a meeting.
Another thing to repent for.
"There are only two items left on the agenda: the method for electing the next Pope, and how to deal with the people from the astronomical observatory."
"His Holiness is in good health, so we will not discuss the former. Who are these people from the observatory?"
"They're from an organization called Chaldea. They appeared in Rome out of nowhere and are insistently demanding to see you, Your Eminence... It's quite troublesome."
"Me?"
Why would they want to see me?
I'm just a weak human with no power, who can only pray.
"They said it must be you, Your Eminence, and no one else. We have turned them away for now, but...."
"Did they not state their business?"
"Their reason was truly... bizarre."
Ahem. I urged the stuttering priest to continue.
"They said they wanted to know if Your Eminence was acquainted with the demon that appeared in Naples."
"The demon that appeared in Naples?"
"Yes. The one you spoke of at the council four years ago...."
Could it be?
Could it be that he has returned?
His black hair certainly resembled that of a Saracen.
Could it be that his hometown, which he never once spoke of, was this Chaldea?
"Where are they? I will go and meet them myself."
"They are Saracens, Your Eminence. You do not have to meet them...."
"No. I will meet them in person. Please guide me. This council is adjourned."
I quickly left the council chamber.
After being given the direction, I moved so breathlessly that I couldn't remember the last time I had run like this.
On the street just outside the cathedral, there were people in unfamiliar attire.
"Lupus? Is that you?"
His name, which I hadn't spoken in so long.
"Lupus? Mash, was your name Lupus?"
"No, Senpai. I believe she is looking for someone else. Lupus means 'wolf' in Latin, so wouldn't it be a man's name?"
"Oh, I see. As expected of my junior, you're so smart!"
"S-Senpai! Of course I like it when you pat my head, but please refrain from doing so in public...!"
A girl with orange hair tied to one side, and a girl in impressive armor with a giant shield.
Neither of them had black hair, nor were they wearing the black robes of a priest.
It wasn't Lupus.
Of course. There had been no news of him for a year; it was impossible for him to suddenly return.
My racing heart grew cold.
"...Are you the ones from the observatory?"
"That's right. We're from Chaldea. Seeing your cassock... are you perhaps the Cardinal?"
The girl in armor stepped forward.
"Yes. I am unworthy, but I hold that position. I heard you wished to see me, so I came."
"And your name is...?"
"I am called Johan."
I had only said my name, but both of their expressions brightened instantly.
"We found her, Senpai! It has to be her!"
"Huh... but wasn't the Pope in the tarot cards a woman?"
"No, Senpai. The truth is...."
What could they be talking about?
The two of them turned away and began conversing amongst themselves.
It was an action that could have been perceived as rude, but I didn't feel that way at all.
"Alright! Po—... Your Eminence! Let's have a little talk!"
"S-Senpai?"
"Don't worry, Mash! I'll solve everything with my splendid eloquence!"
I was simply envious of their harmonious relationship.
Enough to feel a small pang of jealousy.
'Another thing to repent for.'
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