She takes one slow step at a time.
She walks forward, feeling every single movement of the muscles and joints in her lower body.
Cold sweat trickles down her forehead.
Her clothes are already soaked through.
She forces a smile, feigning composure.
"Sir Johan!"
"His Holiness the Pope looked at me!"
She turns her gaze from the crowd on her left to the one on her right, waving her hand.
Her stomach hurts.
A life that is not her own is stirring within her belly.
She can't delay any longer. It feels as though her legs will give out at any moment.
She's scared.
The smiling citizens are terrifying.
What if. What if my strength fails, even for a moment? What would happen if everyone were to see me give birth to a new life, right here and now?
Just the thought of it makes her shoulders tremble.
"Your Holiness... are you alright?"
"...Yes. Of course."
She can't even spare a glance for the concerned priest.
Her eyes reflexively scan the stones scattered on the ground.
How many? How heavy?
Could I survive being hit by those?
Negative thoughts, as if whispered by a demon, refused to leave her mind.
She can't turn back.
The procession is already past its midpoint. In the distance, she can see the great cathedral.
She will not be able to reach it.
The pain in her belly intensifies.
She can't hold on any longer.
She stops walking, and everyone regards her strangely.
The stares pouring down on her are familiar. She's felt them many times when giving lectures or speaking at the council.
But now, they are so terrifying.
No. I want to run away.
Impossible. Every alley is packed with people. In this state, she would be caught in thirty seconds.
But she's so scared.
I don't want to die. I don't want to die a miserable death.
The voices of the crowd faded away.
"His Holiness the Pope?"
The moment the priest's hand touched her shoulder, the strength drained from her legs.
No.
"Ngh... aaargh...!"
The gazes of the people watching her changed from moment to moment.
From concern to puzzlement.
"Is... is that amniotic fluid?"
"Her belly seems unnaturally large, surely it can't be...?"
From puzzlement to shock.
"The Pope was a woman?"
Her vision grew dim. Her mind was already blank.
She never knew that giving birth was such a painful and arduous thing.
With her trousers half-off, she focused all her attention on the lower half of her body.
"Ah... ugh…."
The baby born from it all was so beautiful.
She could understand why Jacob had cherished Joseph so dearly.
Hands as small as a fingernail. A face as small as her palm.
Everything was tiny and adorable.
"My... baby. My baby...?"
She had no strength left in her body.
But she was able to hold her baby in her arms.
"Filthy whore!"
"The harlot deceived everyone!"
The grace of God.
Or was it the curse of God?
Why had He given her such a trial? Even now, in this moment, He did not tell her.
"Kill her!"
"Kill the harlot and her child! It is the spawn of a demon!"
Her head snaps back.
In an instant, her head felt hot. Red blood splattered onto the baby's face.
"I'm sorry, my baby. For having such a worthless mother...."
She tried to wipe it away with her sleeve, but it wouldn't come off completely.
She needed to clean it properly, but another stone came flying.
It hit her shoulder. Her body spun violently.
"Nghh......"
I have to protect the baby.
She curled her body, shielding the child.
A baptism of countless stones rained down upon her.
Ah. This must be because I am a sinner.
I am now paying the price for the sin of aiming for the papacy in a woman's body.
But,
still, I wanted to protect the baby, at least.
I don't know whose baby it is, but it is so precious. I didn't want to let go.
The heavy impacts on my body do not cease.
The things pouring down like rain held only the pure, malevolent intent to kill me.
How much time had passed?
When she came to her senses, there was no one around.
Her first thought was of the baby.
The baby was still nestled in her arms, just as it had been at birth.
"My... baby?"
Could it be that I crushed it and it couldn't breathe?
"Are... are you okay? W-what do I do...?"
I heard that babies are supposed to cry...?
"N-No. Ngh... sob…..."
"Calm down. Its heart is still beating fine."
Another person's voice.
In her concern for the baby, she hadn't noticed.
Just as she had covered the baby with her body, someone else had been protecting her with theirs.
Was it one of the people who had tried to kill her? She should have been afraid, but strangely, she felt that it would be okay.
She turned her head to see the owner of the voice.
Black hair. Lupus. She recognized him the moment she saw him.
Overcome with emotion, she wanted to throw herself into his arms.
She wanted to whine like a child, to tell him how hard and lonely it had been.
But the moment she saw his body, her thoughts froze.
"Wh-what happened to your body?"
This is what a person would look like after emerging from a lake of blood.
Lupus's body was a wreck.
"Did you... protect us?"
"...Yeah. It hurt a bit."
Not when the angry mob threw stones, nor when she prayed earnestly to God for her baby not to die,
had tears come to her eyes like this.
Every exposed part of his body was bruised a deep purple, and on top of that, it was covered in blood.
The mix of dried, hardened blood and blood that had not yet clotted gave off a strong, iron scent.
His body was swollen and lumpy, and if you looked closely, you could see that several of his fingers were bent in the opposite direction from where they should be.
And yet, he was smiling.
"...Why are you smiling?"
Really, she shouldn't have, but... she felt angry.
"Huh?"
"You... you fool! If you get hurt like this, you could die! You can't die... I don't want you to. Don't die...."
Incoherent. Johanna stammered.
"Calm down. It's all over. They all left, thinking we were dead. The people throwing stones, the church people... there's no one here."
"What do you mean it's all over...."
Tears were streaming down her face, her heart was frustrated, and she had nowhere to vent it.
Seeing that she couldn't even pretend to hit me, she must think I'm in a really serious state.
Still, I'm not dead, so that's okay, right?
Of course, if I said that, Johanna would probably faint from the stress.
I held Johanna tightly until she calmed down.
After a little time had passed, we moved from the place where piles of stones were stacked around us to another alleyway to talk.
Johanna asked me why I had just taken the hits.
She wondered why I hadn't created a shield or run away with her.
"...You didn't have to just take it. You're incredibly strong, after all."
"I couldn't help it. The end of this world was 'Johanna dies'. To save you, I had no choice but to take equivalent damage according to the world's logic. If I had chosen to evade or defend, you would have died in some way or another."
"D-don't say such scary things."
I wasn't joking. I was in no mood to joke about something like this.
Before beginning the deep and dark story of this world, I placed a short kiss on Johanna's forehead.
It seemed she had grown resistant to it, as seeing her face only turn slightly red made me smile.
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I had something to do, but it dragged on for too long. It was tough being alone, wasn't it?"
"I don't know. At some point, I couldn't even remember you, and a day would pass like a minute, and when I opened my eyes, my belly was bigger…."
She must have felt a fear that could not be described with simple words.
I was sorry for not being there with her.
"It was so scary, and lonely, and difficult... but when I see you, I can't think of anything."
"In a good way, right?"
"Yes."
Johanna suddenly looked down at the face of the baby in her arms.
A faint heartbeat was transmitted to us.
"It's our baby. Isn't she cute?"
"...She is cute."
Johanna spoke in a slightly excited voice.
"I'm not the Pope anymore, and you've become like this... so I think it's really possible."
"What do you mean?"
"We... we could go down to a quiet countryside together. Get married, and live happily with the baby. H-how about it?"
A laugh burst out of me. I laughed so hard that my wounds split open, and I could only groan for a while.
"Wh-what. You don't like it? I... I think it sounds nice."
"No. I like it too."
I love you.
Hearing those words, Johanna's eyes widened, and she shed tears once more.
"You're planning on leaving again, aren't you?"
"...How did you know?"
"You always have that about you. Just like that night."
Johanna managed to wipe away her tears.
"Why? Tell me the reason. If it's for recovery, I'll help you by your side. I have a lot of experience with that, so I know how…."
"It's not that. Didn't I tell you earlier? There's such a thing as the logic of the world."
I told Johanna.
That this world was a Singularity created based on her memories, and that it was a world that would end with her death.
To prevent that, I had constructed an eternal world through the infinite magical energy of the Holy Grail, but I was defeated by Chaldea and lost the Grail, rendering my efforts moot.
"Aren't you curious why I'm so hurt? It's because I'm drawing the magical energy to maintain the world from my own body. Even that is at its limit, so it's hard for me to even stay awake right now."
"Are we going to die?"
"...When I close my eyes, this world will also disappear completely."
"I see. So it's ending."
Johanna was calmer than I expected.
I was the one who was flustered.
"...Don't you feel revulsion towards me? I created this world because of my own selfishness, and I chose you as the sacrifice. I was playing with you."
"Am I supposed to hate you? Is that what you want?"
"No. That's not it, but…."
Something is strange.
I expected to hear words of resentment like 'You piece of trash' or 'You were just playing with me?'
But Johanna was far more benevolent than that.
"I was happy because of you. I went from a country girl who only knew God to a woman who knew love."
"...Yeah."
"There were times when I was lonely and it was hard, but in the end, you protected me. You were the one by my side until the very end."
Weren't you the one who was prepared to die in my place? Johanna said.
"You knew my fate, didn't you? And you wanted to change it."
"That's right."
"Then you're my savior. There's no reason to hate you, no reason to feel revulsion."
Is that how it is?
I wasn't a person who had inflicted unnecessary pain on her, but a person who had wanted to create a happy future for her?
Johanna handed me the baby, telling me to hold her.
Do I deserve to?
I was able to find courage from Johanna, who nodded her head.
I took the baby with trembling hands.
"Isn't she cute?"
"...She is cute. Very much so."
She's so small.
It's so amazing that something this small is alive and breathing.
"I think she looks like you."
"I think she looks more like you. Her eyes are slightly green."
My heart was breaking.
If I hadn't created such a Singularity because of my own selfishness, this baby would have been able to live her own life.
"I couldn't even be a proper father... I'm sorry."
"You're a good father who protected his wife and daughter. Don't put yourself down like that."
Johanna held my face and cutely admonished me, telling me to stop.
Besides, she was a daughter.
"Ah. The sky is collapsing."
"The ground is disappearing too."
Watching the world slowly crumble, Johanna seemed to realize it too.
That there wasn't much time left.
"I. I haven't thought of a name for the baby. Will you decide for me?"
"Is that really okay?"
"Yes. But you can't decide now."
What did she mean? Johanna placed her index finger to her lips.
"When we meet again, tell me then."
"...Will there be a next time?"
Despite being a being who is reborn over and over, I was afraid of meeting her again.
This was a different feeling from with Tamamo.
With that child, we only created misunderstandings whenever we met, so a dream of spending a peaceful time with her was born.
This baby is different.
A baby born because of my selfishness. Fated to die before she can even become self-aware.
And after giving her such a fate, I believe I can meet her again?
This was selfishness. A foolishness beyond redemption.
But Johanna affirmed me.
"We can meet again, even in heaven. I'm sure of it."
"Heaven... might be a little difficult."
"If you can't believe it, then believe in me. Believe in the me that believes in you."
I nodded heavily.
I could not not believe her.
In the collapsing world, we were holding each other.
"I love you."
Listening to her warm voice, I closed my eyes.
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Even in the infinite darkness, he tries to find his light. A light that will illuminate his life. I am sincerely pleased with this arc and how this cursed author can make even me shed a manly, reserved tear.
I have an extra 35 chapters available on my Patreon. Also, thanks to Master of Mayhem and Crafts for purchasing a subscription."
Patreon: patreon.com/UltraMagnus_T