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"Good news, minion. You get your first C-class mission."
An orange wobbled dangerously and then escaped the brown paper bag she was carrying. Before she had time to even yelp, her teacher had caught it with one hand and gently placed it back on top. "Are you serious?" Aiko tried to keep both the incredulousness and the hope out of her voice. Almost two months of mind-numbing manual labor had all but beat the hope for better missions out of her. Her teacher gave a deep chuckle as a warm hand came down on top of her hair and messed it up. She turned her head slightly to glower, not willing to give him the reaction he wanted. "What's that supposed to do, my hair is already a mess," she deadpanned.
"So uncute," he sighed. His hand left her head to turn a page. "We have a mission scheduled for two days from now."
He didn't seem to be joking. "Why would we know about it so far in advance?" she asked, curious.
"Oh, I need to whip you into shape first."
'Why does his voice have to sound so damn good saying such awful things?' Aiko felt herself deflate. "Mean sensei. I'm not fat."
"Never said you were," he said easily. "But I need to be sure you have the stealth to sneak past sleeping civilians."
"Ouch," she groused, feigning pain in her heart. "That hurts me right here, sensei." She rearranged her grip on the bags she was holding. "Could you knock for me? Thank you." When the door opened, the tired woman standing there looked ridiculously grateful. As soon as her hands were free, Aiko rubbed at her aching arm muscles while the client rustled in her purse for a tip. Without even looking up, the civilian woman stuck out a leg in a ninja-worthy move that stopped the toddler behind her from escaping into the street. "Thank you ma'am, have a nice day!" She bowed politely, eyeing the pig-tailed vermin that was struggling futilely towards the open door.
As soon as the door shut, Kakashi sardonically commented, "If only my student was that cute. How did I get stuck with such a serious brat?"
"Yeah, whatever old man. Maybe if you were as pretty as she was, I'd wear pigtails," Aiko shot back. "We both got the short end of the stick." She didn't really believe that, but she'd hate to compliment him before he really taught her anything.
"I'm not old," he said, sounding honestly perplexed. She didn't buy it for a moment.
~~~
Stealth training turned out to be just another excuse for Kakashi-sensei to be a giant dick, Aiko concluded the next morning when she showed up for training. "This is all just a joke to you, isn't it," she said flatly, handling the 'supplies' as if they were poisonous. The paper, ink, and perfume very well could have been, but they weren't this time. She would have preferred poison.
He hmmed. "Not at all, Aiko-chan. I think that this will gage your skill quite nicely. If you can sneak past your age counterparts in the Academy, you can almost certainly sneak past civilians."
"But this?" she said miserably, staring at the pink paper.
"Think of it as incentive. You'll be extra careful not to get caught leaving embarrassing love notes, won't you?"
"You're a sick bastard."
"What was that?" He perked his head. "You want to leave one for Hyuuga Neji? And his cousin Hinata too, how daring. I'm sure Hiashi won't mind at all if you break into his home to double-time his heir with his nephew." A single leaf blew past them on the street. For a hysterical moment, Aiko thought that it should have been tumbleweed instead. She swallowed, feeling herself begin to sweat just a little bit. There was no way she could sneak around the Hyuuga estate. And Hinata's dad… Well, he might literally kill her and blame it on the Inuzuka or something.
"Your hair looks great today, sensei. Did I mention that earlier? And wow, have you lost weight?"
"Very funny. Get to work writing your great romance, hime. I'll be checking them."
They didn't meet again until well after sunset at 11:30. Once he was finally satisfied with both the wording and scent ("You 'admire' this person? How unoriginal. Wouldn't you say that he lights your heart on fire, or that you drown in the ocean of his eyes every time you look into them? No, the fact that his eyes are brown is irrelevant." and "You're lucky I'm not making you use your own perfume, even a thick Academy student might figure that out"). He had her break into the Academy to copy some student records. In the first remotely considerate move he had made that night, Kakashi let Aiko choose her targets instead of picking them for her. She didn't spend too long trying to figure out A. Who she thought she could sneak past and B. who wouldn't embarrass her if she were to be caught. As they ran to the first house, he mused "Do you think they'll be flattered or frightened to wake up to a love note on their pillows?"
'and why do they have to be left directly on pillows, instead of just beside the bed?' The girl knew better than to say things like that aloud. Her sensei would only think of some new and exciting restriction- like the note had to be taped to the recipient's face, or she could only hop on her left foot or something.
"No matter what happens, I'm hoping that they're not flattered enough to try and figure it out," Aiko muttered. It wasn't entirely impossible that one of them could track her down. 'I only wish I could see Ami's face when she realizes someone stood next to her bed while she slept. Maybe she'll straighten up after a shock to the system like that.' She was the first target. The girl had never bothered Aiko herself, but that was more because Aiko didn't exude weakness than because Ami was kind.
All five note drops went off without a hitch, thankfully. Aiko even took a single strand of hair from each recipient/victim for incontrovertible proof. Kakashi must have a nose like a dog, because he sniffed each one to verify (and why was he familiar with the smells of academy children?). She finally finished at what must have been two a.m.
Her teacher seemed to want to be responsible for once, walking her all the way home. "So, what have you learned?"
"My former classmates need better security," she said flatly.
"And?"
"And that I do have the necessary skills to sneak past an average civilian."
"Hmm. Exactly." He yawned, clearly disinterested in her. "Here's a life lesson for you—improve your traps so you aren't an easy target like that."
"Thanks for saying goodbye," she muttered to the space where he had been until an instant ago. Aiko sighed, rubbing under her tired eyes with one hand while she jiggled her key in the door. She fell in bed fully dressed, feeling pathetically grateful that tomorrow wasn't one of her early mornings where she met with Ino for a workout.
She woke up with a note taped to her forehead. It was unsigned, but it said, "Improve your traps."
They left for their first C-class mission as a team in the evening. Aiko had debated over what to bring for a while, but ended up only filling her leg holster and attaching the weird hip/lower back pouch that was standard equipment for other travel supplies. Her sensei raised a sardonic eye at her when they met at the gate. "What, no tent or sleeping roll?"
She rolled her eyes. "It's too warm for it to be worth carrying. We're only going to be gone one night, and I'm wearing long sleeves."
He chuckled. "Practical."
Their mission was one by request of the Fire Daimyo himself. Apparently he was trying to cheer up his wife, who had recently suffered a death in the family. Aiko was torn- on one hand, it seemed sweet to make a grand gesture of affection. On the other hand, said gesture was stealing a jewelry set from a noblewoman who had snubbed the Lady in court.
'Rich people are fucking weird,' she eventually decided.
Still, if it paid the bills, it wasn't her job to complain about little things like morality. The dossier had claimed that the jewels had been stolen, (as if it was important to improve how bad the request looked to paid assassins, she'd scoffed) but Aiko didn't believe that for a red-hot minute.
"I'll be following to insure your safety," Kakashi said quietly from his position behind her. She peered at the courtyard walls from her location in the shadows. "But this is your operation. You know your route?"
"Yes," she replied, just as quietly. Then she switched to handsigns. Aiko rather imagined she could feel him stiffen in surprise- he hadn't taught those to her. She repressed a smirk- she'd asked Iruka sensei to teach her. He had been too busy, but she'd gotten tutored in it by the woman who had helped her with court-style calligraphy (she had had a lot of time back in the Academy to spend in specialization classes, since she had spent two years sitting out of taijutsu practice).
I take left path. Go now?
He signed back, Go.
She darted across the grounds, setting on palm on the wall and then flipping up and over into the inner courtyard. Her landing in an iris garden was quiet-luckily she tapped down onto the stone pathway and not in the plants themselves. In the instant of stillness, she observed the courtyard- a luxurious koi pond crossed with a bridge and dotted with large rocks under a tree peony, surrounded by moss and light-colored rocks, and a smoothly manicured lawn dotted with tiny shrines.
Aiko was hidden within the shadows of the pagoda roof before a civilian could have seen her. In the space between heartbeats her sensei was beside her, looking feline and dangerous instead of vaguely sleepy as he usually did. Silently she tapped across the tiles, making her way to the window she had noted on the floor plan. She slipped into the second floor guest bedroom easily and leapt onto the ceiling to speed into the target's suite. It was even darker inside, so she took a long moment to let her vision adjust.
The layout wasn't complicated, but she was still thankful she had been able to see a rough floor plan before entering. Her entry point had only been two hallways away from where she almost certainly needed to be. The mission report had described the court lady they were stealing from as someone who would likely keep her jewels close- she didn't trust her staff.
The target, a slim woman of about thirty with long black hair, was sleeping peacefully in the bedroom… and so were the two other women in the bed with her. Aiko felt red heat spread over her ears and neck. She tried to suppress the impression that Kakashi was silently cackling at her. That was rather a lot of flesh showing, even with the blue silk sheets draped over (most of) them. Only a few feet from the heavy breathing of her target, she pawed through drawers, being certain to put everything exactly where it had been and touch as little as possible. She was wearing gloves, but it would be best not to leave her scent if she could help it. Good habits and all that.
'That's it!' Aiko wrapped the necklace, bracelet and earring set in the thin towel she'd prepared and tucked it into her pouch. It was actually rather pretty- black stones set in delicate silver filigree. Getting out was just as easy as getting in had been. At one point she stopped entirely on her ceiling perch and held her breath while a petite girl walked by clutching what looked like a pitcher of water.
She didn't speak until they were a good ten miles away, speeding back towards Konoha. The adrenaline rush left her, and Aiko felt weary. That was strange- the active part of the mission had only taken about an hour from start to escape. Maybe it was just nerves?
"That went well," her teacher commented. She was disoriented enough by her first real mission to smile up at him. "Maybe you'll be ready for real missions soon."
"I thought this was a real mission."
He gave her a mildly disbelieving look. "Stealing from sleeping civilians without so much as a hired thug bodyguard?"
Aiko shrugged. "Better than walking dogs."
His lone eye narrowed in a way that indicated he was thinking. She tried not to shiver, and hoped she hadn't given him any more ideas for cruel and unusual training.
~~~
"I can't believe you had a real mission!" Naruto bounced around the kitchen, almost too excited to do what she told him. It took a glare to remind him that he was meant to be dicing vegetables. She quickly finished using the other cutting board to thinly slice the beef, and then set it in a sizzling pan.
"Nah," she demurred, turning to wash her hands thoroughly. "It wasn't so great. How was class today?" Her brother pouted, casting a dirty look at the small pile of books on the couch.
"Ne, it was terrible!" Aiko kept one ear open to her brother's complaints- something about Ino and glue? – while she worked on the rest of dinner. She gently lifted the lid off the rice pot and checked to be sure it had been soaking long enough before she turned the heat on. Aiko frowned slightly. "Wait, I'm confused. Where did Hinata even get live kunai?" The beef was starting to smell fragrant, so she agitated the pan and turned the meat over.
She could practically hear Naruto's shrug in his answer. "I don't know, but it was the best thing ever!" He fell silent for a second. "Hey, Aiko? Do you remember Sakura-chan?"
"Of course," she said easily. "What about her?" Inwardly, she tried not to wince. 'Please don't be that crush already…'
Of course that was too much to hope for.
"She's really pretty," Naruto said dreamily, propping his chin up on his hands. "Sakura-chan always smells nice and she's so smart at school and have you ever seen pink hair before on anyone else? She's amazing."
Aiko didn't bother to hide her wince. There was no point, Naruto didn't pay attention to cues like that anyway. "No, her hair is unique," was the most diplomatic answer she could choke out. "But Naruto-kun… She isn't very nice, you know."
"She is so," Naruto muttered. Then he brightened up. "Maybe I can impress her with my ninja skills! She's always looking at Sasuke like he' so cool. When I beat him, she'll like me instead!"
Aiko bopped him on the head with a clean wooden spoon. "That's not the way affection works," she scolded. Then a thought occurred. 'I could use this to motivate him…'
Slyly, the slightly older twin acted as if she'd just remembered something. "Sakura does really well in academics, right? You'd have to do well there to impress her, as well as taijutsu. She's the kind of girl who respects strength and…" Aiko grimaced. 'That isn't true, strictly speaking. Strength is more a by-product of what Haruno finds attractive.' "Well, she actually likes people who she thinks are cool. People who are self-assured, good looking, and stuff like that. She isn't going to like anyone who can't keep up with her."
Naruto slumped over the table. "So mean, nee-chan." He cracked one eye open to peer miserably up at her. "It's not my fault I'm not good at school work!"
"Not exactly, no." Aiko gave him a one-handed squeeze. "You have a lot of energy and a short attention span, which makes school work difficult. But you could be working a lot harder than you do. You know perfectly well that skipping class and planning pranks when Iruka is talking is going to hurt your scores, but you do it anyways. If you want to impress Sakura, start there."
"I guess," Naruto said unhappily. He retrieved his history textbook and looked at it as if it was about to bite him. Aiko nudged him gently with a shoulder. "What's the assignment?"
"The class is supposed to read chapter 7," he dully informed.
Aiko frowned at the strange wording. "The class is?"
"Yeah, I haven't finished chapter 2 yet. I don't understand any of it," he whined. Aiko sighed. "Give it here." She flipped it open. "We can read together and talk about it as we go. You remember conversation much better than things you've read."
Naruto's decision to impress Sakura with his intellect didn't exactly work. For one thing, he'd been at the bottom of rankings for long enough that it would be impossible for him to make it to the top of the class. For another, he didn't really have the aptitude for that kind of study anyways. He wasn't as diligent as he'd intended to be when he started studying for real, but with frequent reminders to study (and of why he was studying, however painful Aiko found the idea herself) helped to keep him afloat. The sudden improvement had probably terrified poor Iruka, Aiko realized one day. He would be just waiting for the massive prank that an apparent switch in personality was leading up to. It might have been kinder to put tacks on his chair so he stopped thinking that Naruto was trying to lull him into letting his guard down.
Her brother had actually put a temporary halt to pranks on his sensei, under the rationale that there were people who deserved to be pranked much more and that it would be a waste of his incredible skills to focus on one person. By this time, three months had passed since Aiko became a genin. Kakashi had yet to teach her a single jutsu, she had been on exactly one C-class mission, and he hadn't done much to improve her other base skills either. She found that her routine was much the same as it ever had been. He sure had a strange way of teaching. He'd given her a few pointers on water-walking after she had finished tree climbing, and could be counted on to give her at least one taijutsu spar daily. Unfortunately, it was usually more like a 'beat-down' than a spar, but he gave pointers and she worked on her free time to incorporate his suggestions.
She had been right with her original assessment: being without a team was lonely, and since Kakashi didn't seem to want anything to do with her, he didn't make up for the absence. Aiko continued to do what she knew how to do—she improved her aim, chakra control, ran a lot, attempted to build some muscle mass, and played around with wire and chakra strings. Her improvement since the academy was notable. In a way, Kakashi's laid back teaching style might have been working for her. If she'd just gotten powerful jutsu, she might not have spent as much time improving her base shinobi skillset. Every shinobi needed to be at least competent in those areas beyond genin level- Namikaze Minato had made speed an incredible weapon, legends like Kakashi and Itachi used basic tools like kunai, and ninja like Lee managed to be formidable without a single jutsu.
In other words, she could be a freaking legend even if she never learned another jutsu, but she'd get herself killed in thirty seconds flat into real combat if she couldn't move quickly enough to dodge.
She tried to keep that in mind when a snickering Chuunin handed her a mission scroll detailing her new D-class mission gathering herbs from the forest immediately surrounding Konoha. 'Kakashi-sensei knows what he's doing,' Aiko gritted through her teeth while she murderously popped the heads off of the purple flowers she was collecting.
~~~
"I have no fucking idea what I'm doing," Hatake Kakashi chuckled to a former ANBU colleague one night after yet another day of lazing around reading while his short pers- student, he definitely meant student- completed easy missions. Really it wasn't so bad. It was like a vacation, only with a midget and no hotel sex. Kakashi frowned at the thought, suddenly unhappy with this 'teaching' gig again. Across the table, Tenzou tried not to look too aghast at the thought of his sempai with a small child. Kakashi-sempai was his hero, really he was! His sempai was incredibly strong, he was the most intelligent man that Tenzou knew, he was an excellent commanding officer, and he always smelled so damn manly. But…
"Training a fresh genin is probably not much like training ANBU," Tenzou ventured as a guess. He didn't exactly have much experience with kids. Like Kakashi, he had been drafted directly into the program at such a young age that he'd never known anything different, and certainly hadn't had peers.
Kakashi shrugged easily, swiping his cute little kohai's last stick of yakitori and jamming it into his mouth so quickly that the kid didn't even notice his mask had come down. "How different can it be? We're all adults here."
Tenzou valiantly resisted the face-palm, but he just didn't have the willpower. By the time he managed to look up, his sempai was gone and a receipt was slowly falling to the table. "What the…" Tentatively, he reached out and snagged it. Then his face turned indignant. 'I don't want to pay for his meal! Besides, who drinks at this hour anyway?!'