"They're small."
Genma tried not to sigh at just how troubled Yamato sounded. "Yes," he agreed. He used his tongue to pin the senbon to the side of his mouth to make talking easier. "They're genin, buddy."
Yamato gave him a rebellious look. "I wasn't that small," he said in an undertone. His back hunched. They weren't talking loudly enough for the targets to notice, even if the genin were particularly sharp and realized they were being watched from a holey roof protecting grannies from the sun. It wasn't a particularly stealthy posting, but ninja were perched on just about everything in the area.
Genma rolled his eyes.
'I think he is confusing 'small' and 'helpless'. Either that or Uzumaki hit him over the head a few times.'
"I don't understand these young people."
Genma gave a sharp glance over to his companion to make sure that Yamato hadn't suddenly developed self awareness and a talent for voice acting, but no. That had been one of the elderly women below talking loudly. Maybe her hearing was going. Was there something a doctor could do for that?
'He should relax. These might be the safest kids in Konoha now. They've got the personal protection of the Mizukage, in addition to ANBU following them around.'
Maybe it was the weight of responsibility that ought to have rested on other shoulders. Hatake looked a lot smaller under a thin hospital sheet. Yamato was hovering over his squirts in some misplaced penance. He seemed to be laboring under the assumption that Now was the time the gates of hell would open and descend on everything Hatake had ever cared about, and Yamato was the only person watching the danger with wide eyes.
...twitchy kid. He really needed someone to look over him, but his only mentor figure was unconscious. So.
One of the ladies below was wondering how she could possibly get all her persimmons off the tree before they rotted. She wasn't agile enough to climb the ladder, and her grandson was off at some kind of school in Grass Country.
In contrast to Yamato's nerves-assigned personal mission for Kakashi's sake, Genma was watching the Yondaime's kid, now that his assigned jounin protector was out of action. There was going to be a lot more interest in dissecting Minato's personal relationships than there had been in almost a decade and a half. The information was going to come out. It was only a matter of time.
'Granted, anyone who tried to capture a kid as hostage and wound up holding a damn jinchuuriki is in for an unpleasant surprise.'
It was hard to imagine anyone wanting to take a jinchuuriki alive, but… apparently it was the kind of thing Uchiha Itachi had done.
Genma repressed a shiver and rocked back on his heels. Was this announcement going to start or what? Clearly he had too much time to think, if he was letting his mind wander to the terrifying ground of analyzing what Uchiha had been trying to do. He'd failed anyway. So whether his motivations mattered was for people in Intelligence to figure out, not nice normal jounin who wanted to be able to sleep at night.
The woman below whose persimmons might rot had a distinctive voice. He leaned over and matched the voice to a large tan hat obscuring any hint of the person below it. A real flower had been carefully tucked under the hat band.
Hat woman's conversational partner sounded like her neighbor. She was saying something uncomfortable and sympathetic, about how much work hat woman was doing lately. 'Oh, her husband died recently,' Genma realized from context. He frowned.
"It's starting." Yamato fidgeted. Despite his words, his eyes were trained on two genin standing shoulder-by-shoulder. Genma spared a glance up at the balcony where the Sandaime was coming out. He said a few words, promising exciting news.
Genma looked back to the kids.
Minato's boy was not quite as tall as his teammate, but he was standing straight. The clever little girl's feet were angled inward, but her hips and chest pointed toward her teammate.
'He cried', Genma remembered. 'When they took him from his sister in the hospital. I wonder if they bonded, or if he was just so overwhelmed he had a breakdown.'
But a day later, here he was, looking composed enough to offer his teammate support. Bluff, probably. The type of kid who wouldn't look vulnerable in public if he could do anything else.
The sound of a thousand bodies gasping at one revelation was a really weird experience. Genma was in a wind tunnel for one instant, and then it erupted into cries and cheers. A couple pockets of people started up a chant- Yon-dai-me, Yon-dai-me. It spread through the crowd. Genma mouthed along just once, caught in a flashback from a much better time.
Naruto's mouth was hanging open in wonder.
Something in him softened and really wanted to smile. Genma pulled the senbon out and whirled it through his fingers. "If that's how he looks now," he said in an undertone.
Yamato let out a huff. "Wait until he hears the other news?" he offered.
Genma nodded. Minato was going to tell the kid, for sure. Now that he had been vetted and was going to stick around, it would be difficult to keep him from his son. Minato was a fantastic shinobi, but he wasn't that cold.
"As of this time, there are no plans for Namikaze-san to retake his position as Hokage." The Sandaime's voice was strong and clear, aided by microphones. He went on before the crowd could be too confused by that. "He's missed a thing or two while he was away."
He got a laugh from the crowd for that. Genma glanced up to see Minato's yellow-headed figure making a sheepish wave and bow of acknowledgment. It played off well with the crowd. Of course it did, everyone liked a laugh and unexpected good news. Especially when the tone indicated it was going to go on. "I believe that Namikaze-san would like to have a word."
Minato stepped up, cutting a fine if distant figure from the Administration Tower. "Good morning."
It was bizarrely like being in school. Konohagakure reflexively echoed the greeting back.
Minato looked pleased by that. "It is good to be back. The village has changed in my absence. I look forward to getting to know it and you again. But now, I'd like to talk about my next priorities going forward from here. I have been very sorry to see the destruction that Orochimaru of the Sannin left recently. Konoha's strength, in producing some of the most powerful shinobi in the world, has been turned against us."
Solemn silence reigned.
"But now that's going to change!" He clapped his hands- god, Genma had forgotten that he did that to emphasize a point.
Genma hid a laugh in a cough as Minato folded his hands together and leaned forward. "That's why I am personally taking over a proactive approach regarding our missing nin. I am happy to announce some good news- two days ago, an ally of Konohagakure took out Uchiha Itachi. You may have heard that there is a new Mizukage- Uzumaki Aiko. That was nice of her, wasn't it?" He leaned back to allow the crowd to react. After the shocked silence- that was big news to just drop- came cheers at the announcement.
'The Mizukage,' Genma thought, 'is going to be so fucking pissed. It made it sound like she was acting on Konohagakure's interests.'
Yamato let air out between his teeth. It was hardly audible over whooping. "Uzumaki-san would probably have worded that announcement differently." His face was caught in a horrified amusement.
Genma considered the younger man. He was going to ask about Yamato's impressions of Kirikgakure's leadership, he decided. When they had a quiet moment.
"We have our friends in Kirigakure to thank for that," Minato said cheerfully. "That's a bounty I am glad to see paid off, because it means Konoha's people will sleep more safely. I'll be sending Kiri no Uzumaki Aiko the best money we ever spent." The crowd screamed again, because they were so worked up that they'd cheer for a sack of muddy cats if Minato said something nice about it.
Oh right, the bounty on Uchiha. How much was that? Probably a good chunk of change. The Daimyo had kicked in on it- it had been a big damn deal at the time and all that. Mass murder stirred strong feelings, especially when the hard reality of paying out that much money was so distant in the future.
"Our next goal, of course, is Sannin no Orochimaru. A three-country task force is being formed to bring him to task. Sunagakure is already in talks. An envoy is en route to Kirigakure as we speak. Together, we will bring him to task for his crimes against Konohagakure and the world."
'Whatever Minato did in the land of the dead, his oratory skills weren't getting rusty. He's hitting all the right notes. He's sounding a lot like a godsend to the village. Luck we would never have looked for, just when we need it most.'
Genma sighed and crouched down on the edge of the roof. He glanced over to the west observation point. Nothing was visible, but he held a hand up to the relief he knew was watching. Yamato gave him an alarmed look, but didn't question the request.
As the speech wound down and the crowd began very slowly to dissolve, an ANBU arrived.
"Afternoon," Genma said lazily. He nodded to Salamander. "Watch the kids. There's something Yamato and I have got to do."
The younger ANBU nodded and left on Naruto and Sakura's trail.
Yamato gave him a sharp look, straightening. "Mission?"
Genma smiled at him and walked off the edge of the roof. He waited until Yamato had landed beside him to find the widowed grandmother. She was absolutely tiny, maybe 140cm. She was half-hat. What the fuck was her grandson doing? No wonder she was talking loudly in public places about chores she needed done, she couldn't do them herself. At least she had good problem-solving skills. "Excuse me." He pulled out his most charming smile. "I hear you could use someone to pick fruit for you. My friend here would love to help you out." He gestured to Yamato.
"Oh, my." Her mouth stayed open just a little too long. "I wouldn't want to impose," she said. But she said it in the way that polite people try to reject help they actually want. A delighted smile pulled her face up, showing off capped teeth.
The younger man froze for just an instant, and then bowed. "It would be no trouble at all, ma'am. Is today alright for you?" His smile was more pained than sincere.
"Today?" She glanced to her neighbor. "I- that would be lovely. Thank you for your time." Grandma Hat seemed thrilled. "I'll make a little something to eat while you take down the fruit. What's your name?"
"Yamato, ma'am. This is Shiranui Genma." Yamato ducked a few more bows than he really needed to, flustered and polite. "May I ask..."
"Ikemoto Keiko, dear, but please call me Keiko." She sounded absolutely thrilled. Well, of course, her house was too empty.
He put his hands in his pockets and followed, letting Yamato stumble through conversation.
Every newspaper's front page was about Konohagakure. Objectively, Aiko agreed. A country announcing that their previous, wildly divisive leader was back from the dead was a good story. It was the kind of story you got to run literally once, because what the absolute fuck.She would lead with that too.
The articles about Kirigakure's official announcement of their new leadership and series of interviews were being pushed back into page 2.
"I'm not mad."Aiko batted at her desk with the newspaper, suddenly irritated by all the crap on it. A pencil case went flying and sent a spray of writing implements to smack into the wall. It was somewhat satisfying. Not enough. A thud would make her feel better. She slapped the papers down on her desk and sucked in a breath through her teeth.
It was a blow. It was a real, damaging, godawful blow to her attempt to rebrand Kirigakure. It didn't matter what she said if no one was listening. Being an after-thought was better than not being in the paper, but it was still such bullshit.
Utakata watched until the last pen had stopped rolling. Then he looked back at her.
She looked away from the stack of books she had been eying to narrow her eyes at him. Aiko crossed her legs at the knees and folded her arms. She dared him to comment. Just fucking try it, buddy.
"Of course not." He broke eye contact and settled back in his chair in a way that highlighted his truly excellent collarbones. "The timing has taken attention away from our announcement. Perhaps this is a benefit. It would be wise to focus on how we may expand our position in light of this circumstance."
"Is now the time for your theory about the evils of optimism?" Sanbi asked. He curled his tails up in the foreground of her mind. "Please regale him. I enjoy the outrage it provokes. He will make most satisfying sounds."
"Don't tell me to have a good attitude," Aiko said firmly. She pointed at Utakata, deliberately rude. "A moment to grieve lost chances is reasonable and you don't get to police my emotions. You should be upset when something doesn't go to plan. Obviously I can't let it make me less effective, but frustration at being thwarted only goes to show that I am passionate about my work, you rude fuck." She resisted the urge to punctuate that by tossing a folder at his head. Tsunade's explosive work habits were starting to make a troubling amount of sense to her.
Utakata examined his nails. "An innocent woman has never described herself as being thwarted."
"Who was talking about guilt and innocence? This attack on your character is irrelevant to the topic at hand."
'Damn right it is. I don't have time for that pettiness.'
"Assert your authority!"
Damn right. Aiko rolled her eyes at her friend. "Ugh." Then she scoffed for good measure, because Utakata still looked unimpressed. "Get the fuck out and don't come back until you're ready to pout with me. I refuse to be tricked into a good mood when I have to deal with Jiraiya this afternoon." She made a sharp, irritated motion gesturing at the door. "Fuck out my fucking office."
He actually laughed at her, the bastard. Utakata gracefully gathered his things in one motion and swept out of her office. She glowered at his back.
Sanbi hummed. The roar of his combative amusement was working down to a simmer, now that the encounter was over. "Did he win that?"
Aiko buried her face in her hands. "Yes," she said resentfully. "Because he gets to go with Gaara to meet the Suna-nin. And I have to go meet Jiraiya. He's going to ask me questions, and poke around, and have feelings."
"Could be worse," Sanbi mumbled comfortingly. "The shinobi of sand are… unsettling."
She thought about it- glassy eyes and cracking jaws and crevices opening wide to spit poison and metal. "I can't kill all the puppeteers," Aiko said.
Sanbi drew back in alarm. "I had actually not asked."
"I know." She rubbed at her face and then sat up. "I'm trying to convince myself."
He made a troubled sound and receded.
Aiko sighed. She leaned back and toyed with a paperclip, letting her eyes glaze over. Things could be worse. She had managed to check in with Obito last night when he stole away from Pein's gaze. Kisame had reported back to headquarters without Itachi's body. That meant he had either disposed of it, concealed it, or that Konoha had it. Probably Yamato had done something when she hadn't been looking- he was a good, loyal little ANBU.
But maybe not. Maybe Akatsuki really had recovered it.
She was a little troubled by the possibility that Pein and Kisame might revive Itachi and conceal it from Obito. Except, wait- once Obito had a chance to talk to Kisame in private he would know for certain. Pein wasn't loyal to Obito, but Kisame was.
Whatever. As long as Itachi stayed dead, she didn't care that much about where his corpse had ended up.
'I am kind of disappointed that his death didn't end the Tsukiyomi.'
Kakashi and Sasuke really weren't her problem, though. So she shouldn't focus on it, or the troubling feeling of guilt. It wasn't her fault at all that they had been attacked, of course. But it seemed fairly likely that a Rinnegan could trump through a sharingan illusion. If she was more competent, and willing to try, perhaps they would be saved weeks of suffering.
..The Tsukiyomi was an assault on mental health that neither of those two could afford, if she was to be honest. They were already kinda troubled.
And she, personally, had really not been a fan of the Tsukiyomi. 0/10, one of the worst things to have ever happened to her. It was up there with Sasori, and the time her brain was bleeding, and realizing that she was a fucking dead monster, a corpse walking with someone else's eyes in her skull. It was worse than realizing she was going fucking blind and that she could never go home, and that her family and friends were essentially fucking dead because she could never see them again. Only copies.
"Are you alright?"
She didn't like how small and gentle Sanbi's voice sounded. 'I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Life is unbearably bleak sometimes but I'm sure it's that way for everyone.'
Whatever. The point was, helping Sasuke and Kakashi was someone else's problem. She picked a little bit of dirt out from under her fingernail and dropped it into the tiny trashcan under her desk.
At least it was Friday. She could feel office hours stretching to a close like it was a physical gate. She just needed to keep stumbling forward to meet her patriotic duty, and then she would have two days of only being on emergency call.
Aiko had meetings. She did paperwork. She sent a spy to infiltrate the Daimyo's court in Wave country. She put everything away and changed into clothes that looked a bit neater and more formal than her boots and shorts combination, so that she was ready to go when the grim news came that Jiraiya had been escorted to the meeting spot.
She stole a glance at herself in a store window as she walked the last block on foot. She had gone with tight-fitting black slacks, a clingy gray long-sleeved top, and a long, loose blue jacket that flowed with her movement.
...Aiko was big enough to admit that she had been channeling her dad and Tsunade in her sartorial choices when she had tried to look like a leader. The heels in particular were definitely Tsunade, but Jiraiya was just too fucking tall to go unchallenged.
'I look like a Hokage in a different color palette,' she thought, and wasn't entirely displeased by the thought.
It might have worked. Jiraiya took a deep breath when he saw her.
Aiko paused for a moment, a little uncomfortable with the way that Jiriaya was drinking in her features. There was a line on his brow and faint wonder in his eyes. He spent a full 3 seconds sweeping the curve of her jaw, the set of her nose, the shape of her eyes.
'I look a lot like my father, if you know to look for it.'
She saw him swallow.
"Mizukage-san." Jiraiya bobbed his head to her, like a pleasant idiot. He clattered forward. "Ne, you really made me look like a fool in Konoha. It's good to see you in your environment."
Aiko spared him a thin smile and gestured for him to enter ahead of her. "Jiraiya-san," she said politely. "Let's have coffee and discuss your stay here." He held open the curtain for her and then glanced into the dark room for the first time.
She saw his smile turn wry when he saw the place was deserted. The restaurant had been emptied- a single member of staff was in the kitchen, with a dozen of Kiri shinobi keeping watch around the building.
When he faltered, Aiko swept past him to take a seat. There was something intimidating about a large room with a single two-person table in the center. Utakata had probably thought of it, it looked like his style.
A chuunin swept out with a tray and a hard set to her mouth. She set down two coffees, sugar, and a pitcher of cream. She walked away without another word.
When Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at her, Aiko smiled pleasantly back. She didn't speak. A different shinobi came out, deposited cut persimmon and orange, and left.
Jiraiya let out a sigh and took the lid off the sugar. He dropped a single cube into his coffee and then pushed the dish to her. Aiko ignored it and mixed cream into her coffee. She kept her face distantly pleasant when she took a sip of her godawful bitter coffee, as if she was a madwoman who liked it that way.
"Why?" Sanbi asked.
'Just messing with him,' Aiko admitted. 'Iruka saw me put a gratuitous amount of sugar into my coffee before. They have so little information on me that the detail would definitely make it into my profile. Now Jiraiya will be wondering what my preference actually is, or perhaps if the sugar here is poisoned.'
"That seems unnecessary." Sanbi sounded approving.
'It can't hurt to divert his brainpower to the little things. Keep him off balance.'
Jiraiya stirred his coffee for a little longer than truly necessary, spoon clinking.
She smiled at him.
He smiled back and pretended to be drinking it.
'Joke's on him, this is high quality coffee.'
"I assume that you have spoken to my father." She tilted her head in a way that would highlight the sharp jaw she'd gotten from Minato.
Jiraiya blinked at the statement. He took a moment to answer. "Yes." He inhaled slowly. "That was..." he glanced at her and looked fond. Vulnerable. "Perhaps I should be less surprised. I hear that you are a master of fuinjutsu. And I…."
"You're not my godfather," Aiko said bluntly. She watched the way Jiraiya's hopeful face froze. "You have never known me, and I am not going to be manipulated into giving you concession and kindness that I would owe to my family. Do me the service of believing I am intelligent enough to know that you are manipulating me." She leaned back and muttered, "Or trying to, anyway."
He gave one small, silent laugh, and the side of his mouth curled up to show teeth. "Saa, it was worth a try, wasn't it?" Jiraiya rubbed at the back of his neck.
"Of course it was. And it might have been enjoyable for me to pretend that it was working. But I'm not interested in playing that game." Aiko balanced her right foot on the toes and stretched forward, flexing the ankle. Her left was still tucked under her chair. "I don't have endless time and energy for shenanigans. I'm engaged in quite enough already."
"Oh?" he prompted.
She shot him an amused smile, because he really was predictable. "Oh, nothing. Just spreading crime and mayhem across the continent. In any case." Aiko shook her hair out. "You have come to ask questions on behalf of the Sandaime Hokage. Is this correct?"
Jiraiya splayed his palms out and then leaned back into a slouch. "You got me," he said cheerfully. "I'm working. But it's such a shame to spend my time with such a lovely young lady engaged in painful mundanities, isn't it? Let's do something else. Did you ever find that bikini?"
She gave him her most unimpressed look.
He just grinned back at her obnoxiously. "The bikini is optional," he purred. "I'm dying of the heat in here, aren't you?" He tugged at his collar. She considered having him arrested, just out of spite.
"That is inappropriate," Sanbi said. It came out half a question. "All- everything about that in tone and implication was- it was-"
'He's mocking me,' Aiko confirmed. 'I started the conversation by claiming there is no familial or mentor relationship between us. So he is taking it to the logical inverse, where I am a near-stranger who may be treated as any other he meets. If I rebuff his flirtations as inappropriate due to our relationship, he will argue that I lied when I said our relationship in my universe is not relevant here. If I react to his harassment along the usual lines that strangers do, then he will find it easy to fall back on his arsenal of rhetoric to keep me off-guard and irritated to play into his hands. However I rebuff him, he will have easy recourse to manipulate me.'
Sanbi took a moment to think that over. "I would not have assumed this one had that cleverness. Are you certain this is the case? Perhaps he truly is a fool."
'His rhetorical genius grows exponentially when there is an opportunity to be obnoxious.'
Aiko glanced at the kitchen door. No more snacks ought to be coming for a while… She considered it.
'I bet anything that it's a bluff. He hasn't had the time to get used to this that I have, and he won't be emotionally separated from Minato. He considers me a relation. I have leverage that most people don't when faced with this manipulation.'
She gave Jiraiya the most dangerous smile in her arsenal. "It is hot in here, isn't it?"
"Aiko, no," Sanbi said, horrified.
'I'm calling him on it. If I let him think he can bother me with crude implications, he'll keep the tactic. I need to make him so uncomfortable that he won't try it again.'
Jiraiya's face absolutely froze when she pushed her jacket down her shoulders and shrugged out of it. She lifted it delicately and let the silk pool on the tabletop. Something ticked in his jaw when she lifted her shirt over her head. Aiko took the time to fold it. Jiraiya waited until he absolutely knew she wasn't bluffing about unwrapping the bandages around her chest to throw up a hand and grimace. "Okay!"
Aiko ticked her head to the side and played with the end of the bandage that was the only thing left over her sports bra. "Hmm?" Her tone was so innocent that it rounded back to dangerous.
"Alright," Jiraiya said, disgusted. He looked away and scoffed. "I don't want to see that. You're still Minato's kid. What is wrong with you?"
Aiko let the sides of her lips play up in a smug smile. She tucked the end of her wrappings back in. "If you're certain," she purred. She took her time to put the shirt back on. "How funny you are. I don't say things I don't mean, so I missed the joke entirely."
He glanced back at her now that she was decent and grimaced.
"It worked," Sanbi said. He sounded bemused.
'I do know him well,' Aiko pointed out. 'He has had very little divergence from the Jiraiya who I knew. And now he's gonna listen when I talk.'
Sanbi made a soft 'huh' sound.
Jiraiya took up his coffee cup and pretended to finish it. She didn't know how he was disposing of it, but Aiko was certain that he was not drinking it. He sat the china down with a clink. "That was delicious, thank you." He gave her a too-wide grin. Almost like he was eager to put that conversation behind him or something. How odd.
"There is a method," Sanbi said. He sounded like it was a revelation, but she didn't have time to sort through it now.
She made a noncommittal hum and leaned forward to snag the sugar tray. "I think it's a little bitter." She dropped five cubes into her coffee, channeled heat through her fingertips into the cup, and then stirred delicately. She kept eye contact while she lifted it to her mouth and sipped away, making it very obvious that she was in fact consuming the sugared coffee.
He didn't twitch, even when the door opened.
"Mizukage-sama."
Aiko raised a hand in acknowledgment and wondered what it would take to make Utakata that polite when no outsiders were watching. A lot more money than she had, that was for sure. "Yes?"
Utakata gave a smile that she read as very, very tense. "Forgive me, but there is a matter in need of your attention." He didn't look directly at Jiraiya.
"Ah." She nodded at him. "Thank you. You may go now." While Utakata bowed his way out, she pursed her lips.
'Either something godawful has happened, or he thinks I need a rescue from Jiriaya.'
Well.
"Can I be of any assistance?" Jiraiya showed off his straight, white teeth. "I am at your disposal."
She eyed him. Of course he was. He didn't want to leave until he had his answers, which meant she could put him off for a while and keep him in town. Did she want that? If she gave him information immediately, he wouldn't leave, but he would pretend to.
Sneaky bastard.
It was better to know where he was.
"Thank you, that's quite generous." Aiko felt her smile grow as she had an absolutely delicious thought. "There is something that you could be of assistance with. I have recently given a ninjutsu project to my students. I'll tell Yuusaku to expect your help tomorrow."
Jiriaya liked gardening, right? He liked kids for sure. He'd definitely like gardening with an Academy class.
"In the meantime- we have actually been working on a residence for Konoha's representatives, but it isn't quite finished," Aiko apologized. "For the night you will be in temporary accommodation, but tomorrow we can show you to the permanent quarters."
"Where I'll see the other Konoha diplomat, I assume?" Jiraiya really did look clueless and pleasant when he smiled. It was a dangerous technique.
"We haven't killed him," Aiko confirmed pleasantly, because that was what was actually going on. "We are very friendly these days, here in Kirigakure. Tomorrow my secretary will come to take your questions in writing. You can expect her at 8:25." She stood and tossed hair over her shoulder. "Have a lovely evening."
Jiraiya toasted her with an apple. "Thanks, you too."