Lancel paced back and forth in his cell, his eyes fixed on the floor. Naked and barefoot, he wore only a thin blanket draped over his shoulders, like a depressed dog caged in a cage.
"Lancel!"
Tyrion's shout from across the cell startled his cousin. Lancel shook his matted, tangled blond hair, looking around until he spotted Tyrion in the distance.
"Cousin!" Lancel snapped out of his daze, lunging at the iron bars. He weakly shook the unyielding metal, the blanket slipping from his body to reveal the scars of whippings. His voice cracked with tears. "Save me. Get me out of here!"
The cell had no hearth or brazier, and a chill seeped through the tall, narrow window.
"I suggest you lower your voice," Tyrion whispered, making a shushing gesture. He could see his own breath in the air. Stepping closer to his cousin, he added, "No shouting. I don't want everyone knowing I came to see you."
"Save me..." Tears streaked down Lancel's face. "Save me... save me..." he murmured, collapsing to his knees and clutching Tyrion's boot through the narrow gap.
"Of course I'll save you," Tyrion crouched down. "I promised Uncle Kevan I'd get you out."
At the mention of his father's name, Lancel shuddered violently. His lips trembled uncontrollably as he stammered, "Father..."
"Your father doesn't even know you're here? You didn't tell him about your plan?"
"No..." Lancel whispered. "She wouldn't let me tell Father. I regret it so much..."
"What do you regret? Your crimes landing you here? Or sleeping with my sister?" Tyrion stared at him with disgust. "If the Septon hadn't caught you, you'd probably still be happily helping my sister commit her crimes."
"I didn't... I didn't!" Lancel protested urgently.
"If you don't confess..." Tyrion leaned close to his cousin's ear. "Then no one can save you. Either confess to the Septon under the cane, or confess to me. You can think it over carefully."
"I... I..." Lancel stammered. "I... I regret it. I confess to my mistakes. I did not commit adultery with the Queen. It was the Queen... Cousin, I truly repent. I beg you, get me out of here."
Tyrion stared coldly at his cousin. It's over, everything is over, he thought.
Within three days, the Great Sparrow would pry his mouth open and make him spill every truth like beans from a bamboo tube. Then he would be finished, Cersei would be finished, and the Lannister name would be finished. Why couldn't he kill him? Why were kinslayers cursed?
This world should have honor killings. A lord should be able to rightfully purge the rot from his house.
Lancel was still bowing his head, droning on with his confessions, when he suddenly looked up to meet his cousin's icy stare, his face a mask of murderous intent.
"Cousin... no, Lord Tyrion," Lancel cried, grabbing at his robes. "I've confessed. I've admitted my mistake. You'll save me, won't you?"
"Cersei wouldn't let you tell your father about the plan?"
Lancel nodded.
"Foolish. You trusted her over your own father." Tyrion wanted to slap him twice. "You are forbidden to have any further dealings with my sister. If you do, I will tell Jaime everything."
Lancel's face twisted with a different kind of terror. He nodded repeatedly.
"You must retract every accusation immediately," Tyrion said. "Tell the High Septon this was all your own delusional rambling. Can you do that?"
"I..." Lancel faltered, knowing he couldn't. "They'll torture me. My cousin... my father... he has money. He can buy me out..."
"Put away your foolish notions," Tyrion said. "The Great Sparrow is not the old fat, rotten scum. He is not swayed by money. That won't work."
"You have armies," Lancel grasped at another straw. "You have the Riverlands, the Westerlands, the North... Bring your armies—thirty or fifty thousand strong. That would make the High Sparrow tremble and release me."
"Foolish. Using armies to coerce the High Septon? Only the cruel Maegor would do such a thing." I wouldn't mind, but not for you, Tyrion thought. "Your plan isn't viable in any way. Let me offer some advice."
"You must retract every accusation—Margaery Tyrell, Cersei, everything. Admit nothing."
"But..."
"I know you won't withstand the torture. So here's Plan B: if you break, demand to don the black and join the Night's Watch."
"What?" Lancel looked stunned. "The Night's Watch? Then I would..."
"No fief, no wife, no children," Tyrion said. "But it is an honor, though your understanding of honor differs from most. If you make this request, the High Septon will cease tormenting you, torturing you, forcing you to speak the truth. It will save your life and your house's honor."
"But..."
This foolish boy, Tyrion saw through his thoughts. "There are villages all around the Wall. The whores there will satisfy you." He added with a hint of anger, "I will be the Warden of the North. I will help you become Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. Then you can do whatever you wish. Even fathering a few bastards won't be a problem."
Lancel seemed somewhat swayed.
"If you can endure the questioning, all is well. If you cannot, don the black cloak and spare yourself the torment." Tyrion pressed on, "At the Wall, you'll still live like a noble. The life of a Night's Watchman isn't as austere as people imagine."
Lancel seemed hesitant but nodded nonetheless: "I thought you'd take me out today."
"Who do you take me for? The king?" Tyrion stood. "Not even the king could do that. If I had a dragon, perhaps I could sway the Great Sparrow."
Sparrows can fly, but dragons can too.
"Cousin," Ser Lancel still called him, "will you tell Father about this?"
"I won't hide anything from Uncle Kevan," Tyrion said. "I'll tell him the truth—and I'll advise him not to take it out on you. You are guilty, Cersei is guilty, but you are both Lannisters."
He paused. "The honor of the Lannisters is not to be violated or challenged." With that, he turned and walked away. "Remember my words."
His footsteps grew fainter, the sobs of his cousin behind him dwindling until they faded away.
Guards waited for him around another corner, along with the Septa.
"Lord, have you seen Ser Lancel?" the Septa inquired. "Please return now. Your High Holiness is unable to see you off personally."
"I wish to see one more person," Tyrion said. "The Queen."
...
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