A discreet alert signaled a priority communication request on Julius's terminal. The identifier was from Stetmann's lab, established on the Jokaero planet, now officially named "Eureka." Julius, still immersed in production reports, sighed and accepted the call.
The screen lit up, revealing a visibly overexcited Stetmann, his hair even more disheveled than usual, with stains of an unknown color on his lab coat. In the background, Jokaero could be seen randomly soldering components onto a complex, shimmering metal structure.
"Commander! Julius! It's a revolution! A REVOLUTION, do you hear me?" he shouted, without even a greeting.
"Stetmann. Calm down and breathe. What revolution this time?" asked Julius, trying to mask his annoyance.
"Energy! Always energy! The distribution networks are archaic, but the SOURCE, Julius, the SOURCE!" Stetmann waved his arms toward the structure behind him. "I call it the Ark Reactor! It doesn't run on fusion, or antimatter, that's so... Terran!"
Julius felt the beginning of a headache. "What does it run on, then?"
"On Gromril-42!" Stetmann announced with dramatic flair.
There was a silence. Even Data, who was discreetly monitoring the communication, tilted his head.
"Grom... Gromril-42?" repeated Julius, incredulous. "Stetmann, Gromril is a fantasy metal from the Warhammer universe. It doesn't exist."
"EXACTLY!" Stetmann yelled, triumphant. "That's why it's brilliant! The Jokaero, they aren't limited by boring physics! They dialogued with the quantum vacuum and convinced a few atoms to adopt a psycho-reactive metallic structure! The Ark Reactor draws a tiny fraction of its energy from the Immaterium itself and stabilizes it via Gromril-42! It's clean, nearly infinite, and it makes a pretty purple light!"
Julius was torn between horror and morbid fascination. Tapping into the Warp? It was the very definition of heresy and madness. But if Stetmann and the monkeys had managed to do it stably...
"Stetmann... the risks? Could a demon... come out of this reactor?"
"Pfft! Demons are non-stabilized psycho-sensitive entities! The Ark Reactor is a hyper-stable psycho-positive energy matrix! It's like comparing a chaotic thunderstorm to a nice bedside lamp! Well, a bedside lamp that could power a city, you get the idea?"
Before Julius could respond, Stetmann brandished another object, which looked like a vintage microwave oven with exposed wires.
"And that's not all! Behold! The Company Replicator!"
He took a handful of rock dust from the ground and poured it into a slot on the device. He pressed a button. The device emitted a cheerful hum, and a few seconds later, a small door opened, releasing a tantalizing smell of fresh bread and roast meat. Inside was a perfectly cooked steak with mashed potatoes.
"I... That's rock, Stetmann," said Julius, stunned.
"Exactly! The device rearranges the base atoms to create any pre-recorded dish! It's delicious, nutritious, and it will solve all famine in the universe! Taste it, taste it!" he said, holding the steak towards the camera.
"Stetmann, I'm in orbit. I can't taste it through the screen."
"Ah. Pity." Stetmann shrugged and took a bite of the steak himself. "Mmmh! A bit too much salt, I'll recalibrate."
Julius pinched the bridge of his nose. "Egon. That's... impressive. But we have a war fleet to manage. Do we really need an oven that turns stone into cake?"
"But it's for MORALE, Julius!" insisted Stetmann, his mouth full. "And that's just the beginning! Look!" He grabbed another device, a kind of ray gun. "The De-Boring-izer! It turns grey walls into bright colors!" He aimed it at a lab wall, which instantly turned fluorescent pink with green polka dots. A nearby Jokaero let out an approving squeak.
"Stetmann..."
"And this!" He brandished a pair of shoes with light-up soles. "Sneakers that blink when you walk! For safety in dark corridors!"
"STETMANN!" Julius thundered, losing his patience. "The Ark Reactor is a priority. If it's as stable and powerful as you say, it's a monumental breakthrough. Focus on that. Have it tested, secured, and report concrete data to me. But please, stop wasting your time – and the Jokaero's time – with... blinking sneakers!"
Stetmann looked disappointed for a second, then his face lit up again. "Okay, okay, the reactor is the priority! But you'll see, one day you'll thank me for the sneakers! They blink in rhythm with your heartbeat, it's great for cardio!"
The communication cut out, leaving Julius alone with the sudden silence of the bridge. He slumped heavily into his chair, contemplating the now-black screen.
"According to initial remote readings," Data commented, "energy emissions from Eureka have increased by 40,000%. The profile matches a 'clean Warp' type source, a contradiction in terms according to all archives."
Julius closed his eyes. Stetmann was a madman. An absolute genius, but a madman. He might have just invented the power source that would propel his empire to the stars, or created the rift that would draw the demons of the Warp and doom the galaxy.
"Data," he said wearily. "Double the patrols around Eureka. And find me someone... or something... that understands Warp physics. Just in case."