Nomura's face went pale. It felt like everything had started to make sense. His reluctance to take her hand, his unintentionally cold attitude, his disregard for his health; it all made sense now.
She felt hesitant to say anything. Every time she glanced at the weeping Shizuo, her heart ached at how fragile and innocent he looked.
When he went silent again, she crept closer to his ear and whispered, "It's ok... I'm here."
She couldn't help but think about how much he had to endure. But before she could say any more, she felt Shizuo clinging to her arm.
She looked down to see Shizuo's blood red, puffy, yet so curious, eyes filled with tears. She noticed the little smile forming on his face.
"S-So when a-are you leaving again, m-mom?" he asked, his voice shaking with reluctance.
Nomura's heart dropped. She felt the small aches on her heart turn into painful stabs. Tears poured down her face. She quickly hugged him, trying to hide her face. "I swear …" she broke down in tears.
"You will never… have to go through that ever again… I swear you will never feel cold ever again… not if I'm alive… please Shizuo… LET ME BE THERE FOR YOU."
Shizuo gained control of his body for a moment and was overtaken by the urge to hold her close. He wanted to tightly wrap his arms around her, but he started hesitating again.
He didn't want to feel that same abandonment. But before he could fully spiral again, he heard Nomura screaming.
"PLEASE SHIZUO… ALLOW ME INTO YOUR LIFE… I WANT YOU TO SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS WORLD REALLY IS… I DON'T WANT YOU TO HESITATE ANY MORE… PLEASE…"
She hugged him even closer, as if she didn't want him escaping her grasp before she finally yelled
"SHIZUO… CHOOSE ME…"
Shizuo thought back to every moment. The days his mother would wake him up for school, when she would pack his lunch, when she would greet every day after school, when they would eat dinner together, just the two of them, laughing and talking about school.
He could remember her smile vividly. "A smile as bright as the morning sun." But he could remember her ugly days too.
Days where he could hear her crying in the other room. The days where she would say "Ohh, it's nothing, honey," when he caught her wiping her tears. The times where she would be out of money. "Ohh, honey, I don't want to disturb your father… you know he's a busy man."
He could clearly remember that dreadful day now. The cold breeze of spring filled the air; the ground was littered with cherry petals.
He was holding on to her warm hand tightly, and they were taking a slow stroll in the park.
"You know Shizuo… I won't be here forever… you will eventually be on your own," she said softly. "Don't worry mom, I will be big and strong by then," he replied, with a huge smile on his face.
"Ohh, my, alright then, but before that you have to put on your jack—" he could feel the memory fading.
The next day, he woke up to an empty house and a note on the kitchen counter.
"My dear Shizuo, I want you to know I love you very much, but every time I look at you, I get reminded of that wretched man. I'm leaving to a place very far, far away. It makes me sad to leave you alone but this is for the best. You need to learn how to survive on your own. You're a bright kid with a brighter future ahead of you, so please Shizuo, forget about me and grow big and strong. From you mother, Amaya Sakura."
Shizuo scanned the small note multiple times. The lines seemed to dance around after every read.
"This can't be happening… she must be playing a prank," he repeated to himself.
He went to check her bedroom only to find no one inside. He flung open her closet door looking for any trace, but all he found was an old wrinkly shirt.
He frantically grabbed his phone and dialed her number. His body started sweating as he waited for the phone to ring. But when it did, he could hear the familiar ringtone coming from the living room.
When he went to check, he saw his mother's phone ringing, with a caller ID "My baby" and a photo of his younger self. "Ohh, God, don't do this to me…," he started pleading quietly, his leg restlessly tapping the floor.
He slowly sat down on the sofa, his hands trembling. Images kept popping up in his head.
He felt the walls turning and the whole house merging into a blur.
"Try to calm down… think about this logically… why would she do such a thing…"
He spent a long while thinking and trying to reason, but every branch of thought led to the same conclusion.
"Don't make me call him… I don't want to speak to him… what if he doesn't know anything… but I have to, it's the only way… It's worth a shot…"
He let out a heavy sigh. He picked up his phone and slowly started tapping. The screen felt colder as his shaky hand kept pressing at it.
But before he hit call, he paused for a second. "We haven't talked in so long… what should I say… it should be fine… right?" He thought about deleting the numbers he had typed, but before he could hesitate anymore, he hit the call button.
Sweat dripped down Shizuo's face as the phone kept beeping. "One… two… three… four… fi—," before he could finish counting, the beeps cut out. On the other line, he heard a stern and cold voice greeting him. "Hello, Shizuo."