IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter is completely skippable. However, according to the ancient texts and a guy I met on the internet: 'DxD without Milu tan is not a true DxD.'
I don't make the rules. I just suffer by them. And now, so do you. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
------------
A few days after Asia came to live at Issei's house.
"Nice weather, isn't it? Issei-san, we're doing softball in PE today. It's my first time, so I'm already excited."
"Yeah… awful weather. And the guys are doing baseball… I'll have to hold back my strength."
In contrast to Asia happily walking to school, Issei trudged along with extremely unmotivated eyes, grumbling as they went. Students who saw the two on their way to school shouted.
"Why are Argento-san and Hyoudou coming from the same direction…?"
"How stupid… what's going on…"
"No way… not just Rias-onee-sama, even Asia-chan…"
Ignoring all that chatter, Issei walked past. He soaked up resentment and hatred all the way until after school, but since everyone knew that picking a fight with him meant not even having bones left to recover, they only whispered among themselves. After school, Asia naturally, and Issei with legs that very much didn't want to go, headed to the Occult Research Club. As soon as Issei arrived, a contract had come in for him.
"Why such a pain…"
"Quit grumbling. A servant of Gremory does his work with pride at all times."
"…Seriously annoying."
Issei stepped onto the magic circle. Light rose from the circle, and his body vanished. Watching him go, Yuuto spoke with the face of someone looking at a poor soul.
"Hyoudou-kun… come back alive."
=======================================
"What, I'm already here…"
"Welcom-nyo… Miru-tan i-"
Thwack!
The moment he arrived, Issei's foot flew first. His expression hardly changed, but his eyes said he'd just seen something terrible. He rubbed his eyes, trying to escape reality at the sight of the client in front of him, but….
"It hurts-nyo!! It hurts-nyo!! Uwaaaaaah!!"
….It was real. What stood before him wasn't some final boss from a game, but the client who had summoned him. Seeing the muscle-bound man in a skirt, Issei looked at him with deep disgust and spoke.
"If you called me, get to the point. Fast."
"That's right-nyo… I summoned a devil because I have a request-nyo."
(…How about I beat him up if he says nyo one more time? It's extremely unpleasant.)
'I'd love to, but for now… I have to hold it in.'
"Make Miru-tan- make Miru-tan a magical girl-nyo!"
"Learn the difference between reality and fiction, idiot."
"Uwaaaah!! Mr. Devil!! Please grant Miru-tan fantasy power-nyo!"
"With your face, you could go be a warrior in a fantasy world right now."
"Uwaaaah!! Miru-tan needs the power of magic-nyo!"
"Cut off your d*ck first, then talk."
"I even brought a knife so I can cut it off-nyo! If I do, will you make me a magical girl-nyo?"
"You're really going to cut it off?!!"
(…This guy is already a lost cause.)
"Miru-tan needs fantasy power-nyo!! If necessary, I can even contract with Kyubey-nyo!"
"Calm down, gorilla. If you contract with that thing, your life's over. Fine. I'll send you right now to the place where the magical world is…"
When Issei suddenly spoke with a radiant smile, Ddraig felt an ominous feeling for some reason. But the muscular man cosplaying as Miru-tan, who knew nothing, looked at Issei with great expectation.
"Really-nyo?"
"Yeah…"
Thock!
Issei's foot came down on the head of the self-styled Miru-tan, and the gorilla Miru-tan passed out. Issei placed his hand on the gorilla Miru-tan's head and began vigorously pressing pressure points on his scalp.
(…Hey, what are you doing right now?)
"I'm just pressing points on his head to send his mind into the world of dreams. In the dream world, he can be whatever magical girl or whatever. The problem is, who knows when he'll wake up…"
(…Isn't that what people usually call the river of the afterlife?)
"…Anyway, contract complete. That aside, this guy… he really needs to learn to tell reality from fantasy. Cosplaying the protagonist from Magical Girl Milky Spiral 7 Alternative…"
(…Cheon, I want to ask how you even know that, but… I should probably just chuckle and let it go, right?)