"Are you-" the sound stop him, again.
We can't talk in piece in that room apparently.
My mind helpfully provide that we'll need to wait for a while, or talk while we fight to have some time.
Annoying.
Matthew look like he just sighed beside me.
I can't guess why.
In any case my gaze focus down. Ignoring the way my hand tighten on my dagger.
This was to be expected.
I wonder about the fear. About the panic. About the caveman problem.
A second ago, I freaked out when I felt it.
Right now? I'm fine.
it's relaxing a bit anyway.
On the ground. The big one, seven foot tall is really big. Now that I can look at him well, he's way wider that taller too, the big cube of wood loos huge.
A random thought talk about jokes.
I ponder on it.
And promptly decide that I don't feel like joking.
Taking one step toward it, I see malfoy turning his head toward me a bit too fast.
Odd.
Ignoring it, my steps lead me to the dead body.
Well, a wooden body.
For some reason I'm feeling really analytical right now.
Why?
A way to escape how I feel.
Is that a good thing to do?
No.
Sitting down beside the wooden shit I block everything out while grabbing it's head.
Pulling it up make me realize that I'll need to deadlift the stuff, it barely move, well, I can hold it up even sitted but. My grip falter and I let the cube fall down, sand explode everywhere, almost go in my eyes and mouth.
This is heavy.
Taking my dagger back, that I put at my side, my eyes run over the cube.
Trying to escape my feelings productively.
I twirl the dagger in a backhand grip before slamming the blade as hard as possible into it's head.
Testing how resistant the wood is.
And resistant it is.
The dagger is barely in, taking it out is a bit of a struggle.
It barely made an indent in it.
Amazing.
What kind of wood could do that? Is that normal wood I don't know about? Or is that some alien wood?
Tell me everything about it.
Inspect.
Unfortunately that's not inspectable for some subjective reason
I love this system.
Putting my hand on the detached cube, throat cut.
It goes in.
I remember having notifications about what I stocked before? Why don't I have it anymore those last few days?
[Do you wish to see stocking notification?]
Yes I would.
[You stocked a wooden head]
Huh, odd.
Taking it out, I grab the wood mid fall, snaking my legs out, my forearm and biceps strain when I'm out I let it fall on the ground again.
It almost crushed my legs by appearing in front of my belly.
Doesn't matter.
I want to inspect this wooden head.
Inspect.
And I still can't inspect it? This system make no sense, my hand come to touch the cube. It get back in.
"Ludger" the voice rouse me from my inspection, Matthew's voice.
Pushing myself up I look around "Yes Matthew?"
He stop for a while just staring at me before sighing, then he point at the next ennemies "door opened"
"Alright."
Well, looks like I'll have time to inspect later.
This make me remember a lot of things. Wasn't really productive during the tutorial, I should experiment more often.
The talking and wrestling. Even if moderately useful, shouldn't have been my priority.
A list of experiments get drafted in my mind, just as I walk toward the sight, I don't wonder where the other attendee are, just walk toward the enemies.
Hmm, there are more and more of them? How many waves should I expect?
Looks like there are 9 ennemies now, three big ones, two normals, four goblin like.
It would be good if they fall again.
The amount of enemies is getting annoying, especially if more and more ennemies come out next wave. fighting back to back like that is also draining my energy.
I can hear malfoy voice from behind me, he struggle to say something.
"You know too that..." He tsk to himself before starting again "What I wish to say, is that" then he trail off, the sound of his fingers scratching his head. "It's simply..." Then he snap up and ask me directly "Ludger?"
"Yes?"
"Do you see what I mean? It's not against you, it's simply, you know, more rewards is always good, saying otherwise would be...." He trail of those words, changing them "it would be a mistake, that is what I'm trying to say"
"Matthew." He stop mid sentence "...Yes?" Answering way too long after my words.
Pointing at the enemies I articulate my own thoughts "this is becoming problematic, I will go forward, on the right, get some of the automatons attention. First the smallest ones, if I can I'll just make them fall with a kick or my shield."
Then I point at the normal heights "then we'll take care of those. While we do" I stop to insist on those words " even while we take of the small ones. You will stay behind me and come up only to take free hits."
I focus back on the normal sized "we'll walk around, keep them in a straight line, seperated. And then I'll push them down, you finish them. When all are done-"
I point at the three big ones.
"-we take care of them, one by one. It's a timing matter. I will rush, take one down. And you finish them. After that, we run back, we do it till they are all done"
Letting my hand back down, I don't say anything about what he tried to stay a second ago. Not even a mention of it.
The goal. Is home. The goal, are those doors. That is all.
Rewards, does not matter.
My coils squirm slightly, but they don't push.
"If anything unplanned happen, we run back. That's all we do. You do not go alone, and I don't. We run back. They are slow, and clunky, just run away, we'll regroup and think here"
Not even giving him a glance, I finish my little plan.
"Any questions Matthew?"
I hear the sound of hair shifting. A hand in hair, moving around.
When he answer, his voice is quieter than usual.
"Got it."
Then he speak up again as we get closer.
"This...so..." His unability to talk get on my nerves.
"Malfoy what is the goal here?"
The sound of hair stop for a while, jumping on the opportunity to speak up, he answer.
"Getting stronger? I would believe that you of everyone in here would understand."
My coils squirm rush, happy, understanding.
And I crush them, use them, destroy them. Talking about them in third person was a bad idea, it's simply a feeling of mine.
And I can control them, always could.
Even if it means using them to crush them.
It wasn't the plan.
But I don't care about the plan, I don't care about my feelings because of it. And those coils are my feelings.
I have a simple goal. A simple clear goal, go home.
That's it.
That's the problem.
My fist tighten, jaw roll, almost popping.
Bad feelings come to rise inside my guts. All while I focus on my steps forward, trying to ignore. It's pretty useless though.
My words were heavy, they were good, but I waver.
This fucking unshakable desire for power come back, this is annoying, really annoying.
"Malfoy."
He answer back fast, probably because of how the nickname came back.
"Yes?"
"The goal is not power. The goal is home, survival. That is all"
He take some steps getting even closer to me.
"Really? You're the one saying that?"
I blink. Lights rush again. The world become colorful, the world looks so joyful. The sand yellow, the enemies brown.
My hand tighten against the dagger. Hard, too hard, unnatural. Boiling veins, somehow comfortable clash against the grey in my thoughts.
Bringing feelings, bringing nuance more than a desire for power.
Bringing anger back.
What does this pathetic little fucker means? I'm the one saying that? I'M THE ONE SAYING THAT!? Taking a deep breath to calm myself down.
"What do you mean by that?"
He shuffle, getting even closer, his blond face at my side now, hand pointing toward the necklace on my neck.
An orcish necklace.
"You came with me, ludger, I did told you, I understand"
I don't know what kind of magic stop me from crushing his teeth in, make him eat only fucking slurped food for the rest of his entire life.
"No I do not see what you understand. Power is us-!" My teeth grind against each other, almost want to bite my lips, coils of hunger coming up my throat. "Power is secondary." The coils get stronger.
What an insult.
My dad would say some shit about the negative effects about repressing my emotions.
But I feel more alive than ever right now, dipping back inside this nasty habit made me remember why I hate it.
That's why I don't care. It's for this exact reason that I do it, pushing down on the hunger, forcibly shoving it down.
So fucking weak, so fucking easy, my desire for home is stronger.
My shoulders relax, my jaw too.
"Home." I change my words "Going back to earth is the priority, we can search for power when we're in a safer environment. You cannot gain power if you're dead."
Bullshit reasoning. But whatever, what he gonna do about it? Call me out? The blondy can't read minds.
Or...maybe he does? IS THAT WHY HE'S SAYING HE KNOW SOMETHING!?
A warmth spread through my chest as I feel my thoughts again. Swear words, random bullshit, and screaming.
This feel good, even if I'm angry, feeling angry feel good.
Malfoy nod, fucking annoying smirk on his face, he nod dumbly "I see, I see" fucking annoying wink "Got it. I'll be more careful about that"
He keep walking forward, less tense than before, like we were sharing an inside joke.
"Sorry about playing around. I shall be more careful in the future"
He seem satisfied, happy, like everything was swapped under the rug.
And he doesn't even know how his apology was the only thing stopping me from breaking his jaw.
Eh, this kind of shit happen doesn't it?
Anyway! HELLO AGAIN! I'M BACK BABY!