Girls... they're all two-faced creatures.
After witnessing Yukinoshita's completely different attitudes towards him and Mori Shinra, Hikigaya finally and thoroughly understood this truth.
Meanwhile, Mori Shinra also understood what Yukinoshita was trying to convey—since you were the one who insisted on accepting Hiratsuka-sensei's request, you'll be the one responsible for completing it.
Shinra naturally had no objections to this.
"Not to worry, Hikigaya-san. Once you get to know her, you'll realize that Yukinoshita-san is actually a very gentle person."
Gentle? Hikigaya glanced at the expressionless Yukinoshita Yukino flipping through her book. Forgive him, but he begged to differ.
He figured the reason Mori Shinra found her gentle was because she was only gentle to him. For an outsider like himself, that Yukinoshita would only reveal a coldness as harsh as the blizzards in her name.
But what made Hikigaya even more curious was the relationship between Mori Shinra and Yukinoshita Yukino. Friends? A couple?
Hikigaya had never heard that the top student in the grade, Yukinoshita, had a male presence in her life. Yet he could clearly sense that her attitude towards his classmate was unusual. Thinking back on her aversion to him joining the club... could he have gotten himself involved in some kind of campus love story?
Regardless of the actual situation, Mori Shinra and Yukinoshita Yukino were a completely different breed of people from him.
Normies, just go and explode!
"Since Hiratsuka-sensei entrusted you to the Service Club, the Service Club will certainly see it through to the end. I will cure your problem, so please rest assured." Shinra flashed a confident smile that only a renowned doctor would have.
As if infected by this smile, Hikigaya subconsciously replied:
"I'm in your hands..."
"Wait, I'm not sick!" Hikigaya snapped back to his senses, looking at Mori Shinra in horror. He had almost been led astray by this man. Such terrifying powers of persuasion.
Yukinoshita interjected coolly, "Generally speaking, mentally ill people all claim they aren't sick."
"That's sophistry! And I am not mentally ill." Hikigaya felt that Yukinoshita wasn't paying attention to her book at all.
Shinra spoke to Hikigaya in a placating tone, as if coaxing a baby. "Of course, of course, how could Hikigaya-san be mentally ill? Based on my observations just now, treatment will not be difficult at all!"
As if to prove his point, Shinra even showed Hikigaya his notebook.
Hikigaya read the words on it aloud, "Self-awareness normal, language ability normal, logical thinking normal..."
"Pfft..." Yukinoshita couldn't hold back a laugh. Noticing both Hikigaya and Shinra looking at her, she cleared her throat and suppressed her smile. "My apologies, please continue."
Hikigaya took a deep breath. A demon couple, they were definitely a demon couple. All he did was write his "Review of High School Life" a little off-topic. What had he done to deserve this kind of treatment?
"Alright, jokes aside, let's officially begin the treatment."
"Hey!"
"Ahem, Hikigaya-san, may I ask, do you have any friends?"
Faced with a suddenly serious Mori Shinra, Hikigaya's attitude subconsciously straightened up as well.
Hikigaya said, "None at all."
"As expected." Shinra showed an I-knew-it expression.
"If this were a psychiatric hospital, what you just said would already be considered medical malpractice, wouldn't it?"
"Don't worry about such details."
"You're not the one getting hurt!"
"Hmph, who knows?" Shinra replied with a double meaning.
Hikigaya's expression changed. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Shinra continued, "What about your grades? How are your grades?"
Now this was a topic Hikigaya could get excited about. He made a gesture that old-school protagonists loved to do—rubbing his nose with his thumb—and said, "Third in the liberal arts exam."
"Oh? That impressive? You've got some skills," Shinra said, looking surprised.
"It's nothing, nothing." Hikigaya couldn't quite suppress the smile on his face. It was clear he had never received praise from a peer before, making him a little giddy.
Yukinoshita Yukino seemed unable to bear the sight of him like this. "Third place? How surprising. Has our school run out of people?"
The implication being, for someone like you to get third place, it's hard to imagine the other students are even human.
Hikigaya's eyes widened. "You just insulted him too with that, didn't you?"
Was Yukinoshita's sharp tongue an AOE attack?
"His science exam score is first in the grade. Didn't you know?" Yukinoshita gave him a look of disbelief, as if to say, why would you even think that?
"Wait? Science exam, eh? Huh?" Hikigaya felt like his brain was short-circuiting.
If he remembered correctly, Mori Shinra was his classmate, right? And he was sure he had chosen the liberal arts class, right?
Why would the person who got first place in the science exam be in his class?
"Class 2-F is a liberal arts class, isn't it?" Hikigaya asked, a little unconfidently.
Yukinoshita, as if she had also discovered a blind spot, looked at Mori Shinra.
Shinra calmly took a sip of tea. "That's right."
"Your science is so good, what are you doing in a liberal arts class?" Hikigaya, who was inept at science, couldn't comprehend it at all.
"Hmm... the liberal arts class has a better humanistic atmosphere?" Shinra replied in an uncertain tone.
Hikigaya thought about the countless cliques and normie groups in his class and asked a question from the soul, "Better in what way?"
"It's better because... it has Hiratsuka-sensei," Shinra said, thinking of a very flimsy reason.
"Are you an M?"
"Hiratsuka-sensei, you're here."
Hikigaya jumped up from his stool like a startled cat. He whipped his head around, but there was no Hiratsuka to be seen. It was just Shinra tricking him. His overreaction, on the other hand, had made a fool of him.
To alleviate the awkwardness, Hikigaya smoothly transitioned into a stretching motion, as if he had stood up specifically to stretch his muscles, not because he was startled by Shinra.
Yukinoshita smiled faintly. "Rest assured, when Hiratsuka-sensei arrives, it's usually accompanied by a loud door-opening sound. If you don't even notice that, you might want to get your ears checked at a hospital."
So harsh. Insulting two people at once.
Shinra felt lucky that the car accident had temporarily granted him immunity from Yukinoshita's verbal attacks. Otherwise, he would have been in for it.
"In any case, I now understand your situation."
"Stop talking like a doctor."
"Sorry, I've been spending too much time in the hospital recently."
Hikigaya fell silent.
Shinra didn't mind and continued, "Personality is a bit twisted, but you're surprisingly not a bad person. The dead-fish eyes are a bit of an eyesore, but you get used to them. In summary, with just a short period of training, you can be socialized."
"Omedetou," Yukinoshita said, clapping her hands supportively.
"What was that? A personal attack?"
Hikigaya felt that Hiratsuka-sensei dumping him here was a crime against humanity that completely violated the Geneva Convention.