Megumin and Yunyun gripped each other's hands, butting heads like two bulls locking horns.
"You actually thought you could steal my man with a story, you damn cow!"
"I... I'm not a cow! And I didn't mean to!"
"Hmph. Then why didn't you notice the writing in the corner? You folded it over on purpose, didn't you?"
"It was already folded like that! I just didn't notice it!"
They traded a few more sharp words. Megumin could tell the tide had already turned against Yunyun and that she was just being stubborn now. With the composure of a victor, she calmly let go of Yunyun's hands and settled herself onto Jhin's lap, looking down at her rival.
"Now that you know this whole thing was fake, why don't you hurry home? Children shouldn't be interrupting the adults' activities."
That was close. If Jhin hadn't spotted the writing on that folded corner, this cow would probably have gotten her way.
Megumin wasn't an unreasonable person. No matter how firm her stance at the start, when it came down to the survival of the world, she'd ultimately choose to compromise and let Yunyun have her moment.
Of course, once the Demon King was defeated, she would absolutely take Jhin back. She wasn't fighting alone — she had her Gourmet Edifice companions behind her. Four against one — the advantage was hers!
"The adults' activities..." Yunyun's cute face flushed red again, her mind apparently conjuring up something rather scandalous. She covered her cheeks with both hands, mumbling quietly to herself for a moment before turning her gaze to Jhin. "Even if the letter turned out to be fake, my marriage interview with Mr. Jhin was already arranged beforehand. Why should I leave?"
Megumin figured Yunyun's brain must have gotten fried somewhere along her adventures — or maybe those two lumps of flesh on her chest had drained away all her intelligence. She tapped the table with a crooked finger. "Do you even understand human speech? This is my boyfriend. And you still want a marriage interview with him?"
"The continent mostly runs on polyandry or polygamy, doesn't it? Even within the clan, there's no written law mandating monogamy. So why can't I marry Mr. Jhin?"
That actually made sense. I can't even argue with it. Megumin leaned back without a word, signaling that it was about time her boyfriend made himself useful.
"Ahem..." Jhin cleared his throat and chose his words carefully before asking Yunyun, "Um... Miss Yunyun, we've only just met. There's really no need for it to be specifically me, is there?"
Facing him, Yunyun shrank back into her timid, bashful self, hands folded in her lap, head bowed, not daring to meet his eyes — a posture that only made her ample chest more prominent. It was enough to make Megumin fume, wishing desperately that the world had some kind of "chest-size transfer" spell.
"Because my first impression of you was very good, and Megumin's told me a lot of your good points too. As rivals, what better way to settle the score than stealing each other's man?"
Jhin had originally thought this girl was one of the rare normal people in the Crimson Demon Clan. Now it seemed her thought process wasn't quite normal either — pure-blooded Crimson Demon Clan through and through.
Whatever the case, this was something he wouldn't agree to. Being chased after by a pretty girl was secretly thrilling for any man, sure — but his "good bro" beside him mattered more.
"Please allow me to decline something this absurd. A romance with no emotional foundation is like rootless duckweed — it can't withstand even the slightest wind or rain."
Megumin patted Jhin's arm lightly with her small hand, her eyes shining with approval.
Well said. I'll reward you with ice cream when we get back!
Yunyun clearly hadn't expected to be rejected to her face, and her mind went a bit blank.
Could it be that my contest with Megumin was declared lost before it even began?
For the rest of the conversation she seemed distracted. Jhin ordered desserts for three, and once he and Megumin had finished eating, he paid and they rose to leave. Just then, a black-haired married woman stepped out from a corner not far inside the shop and patted Yunyun's shoulder in comfort. "It's fine. You've only been rejected once — that's hardly a failure."
"Auntie Yuiyui..."
"Don't worry. I'll arrange more chances for you later."
"What I mean is... why would you introduce Megumin's boyfriend to me in the first place? And that letter — you're the one who gave it to me, aren't you?"
"Oh-ho-ho, what nonsense are you spouting, child?"
Setting aside the fact that the mastermind behind the whole affair had finally shown her true face, Megumin's mood right now could only be described as through the roof.
Although the whole ordeal from start to finish had left her feeling stifled and had nearly gotten her cuckolded, Jhin's attitude and words had made her genuinely happy — happy enough that it almost rivaled the joy of unleashing Explosion magic.
He did so well today. Maybe I should give him an even better reward?
Not just anyone could turn down a cow like Yunyun. This guy might well be crying on the inside right now.
No — to keep his resolve firm, she had to give him a proper reward. Otherwise, what if he suddenly had second thoughts and secretly ran off to find Yunyun?
Having made up her mind, Megumin's eyes took on a resolute glint. But instead of telling Jhin directly, she decided to give him a surprise.
The trip from the sweets shop back home took just over an hour, all told. They arrived just as Pecorine was making lunch. Megumin went straight in to lend a hand, but not before shooting Jhin a look that said "look forward to it."
He rubbed his hands together in anticipation and settled into the living room. Seeing Kokkoro and Kyaru were both there, he brought up what had happened at the sweets shop.
After hearing the whole story, Kyaru let out an impressed sigh. "The Crimson Demon Clan really does have all kinds of people..."
"In a certain sense, she really is a very responsible girl."
"You're right." Jhin didn't deny Kokkoro's assessment. Looking at it objectively, if the prophecy letter's contents were true, Yunyun really did have a strong sense of responsibility.
"Are you really not the least bit tempted?"
"Yunyun's definitely pretty, but we've got Pecorine on our side. Their measurements are about evenly matched. Personally, though, I'd still say Pecorine's better."
"Ohh~" Kyaru propped her chin up with her left hand, grinning, while the index finger of her right hand poked repeatedly at Jhin's face. "So your real feelings about Pecorine finally slipped out."
Jhin didn't deny it. He caught her finger and gave it a light bite, and was about to say something more, but Megumin and Pecorine had already started bringing the dishes to the table, so he let it drop.
Father-in-law and Mother-in-law were both out on errands, so only Komekko and the Gourmet Edifice group remained at home.
After Jhin had eaten a few bites, he noticed Megumin hadn't touched her chopsticks at all. Instead, she sat with her arms crossed, smiling as she surveyed everyone's condition. His heart skipped a beat. "Megumin, you drugged the food, didn't you?"
"So you noticed after all. Well, can't be helped." She smiled like a little fox that had just stolen a chicken, cunning glinting in her eyes, and even blew him a kiss. "Good night, everyone."
Whatever you're planning to do, at least let me finish my meal first!
That was the shared internal wail of both Jhin and Pecorine, right before they passed out.
____
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