The restaurant chosen by Mai Sakurajima, "Aloha Table," had a breathtaking view of Enoshima Beach and prices that Kaito considered a personal affront to his existence.
"This is gastronomic robbery," Kaito muttered, holding the laminated menu as if it were a death sentence. "1,800 yen for a burger? Was this cow a therapeutic masseur in life? Did it have a university degree?"
"It's 'Wagyu', Kaito," Mai said, sitting next to him, looking annoyingly fresh and elegant even in the midday heat. She closed the menu with a soft snap. "And stop converting prices into instant noodle units. We are celebrating."
Across the table, the "United Front of Chaos" (Fia and Futaba) studied the options with varying levels of enthusiasm.
Fia, who seemed to have developed a bottomless black hole stomach since assuming physical form, pointed to photos of desserts. "I want the Volcanic Pancake Tower! And the colorful juice with the umbrella! The System says umbrellas in drinks increase 'Tropical Vacation' status by 50%!"
Futaba, on the other hand, adjusted her glasses and analyzed the nutritional description (nonexistent). "Burger with pineapple... The combination of protein and bromelain is enzymatically efficient for digestion, but gastronomically questionable."
"Order whatever you want, Rio," Mai encouraged. "Kaito is feeling generous today."
"I am feeling coerced," Kaito corrected. "But coercion has a credit limit. Order main courses. Desserts are negotiated separately."
The waitress arrived. She was a tanned young woman with a practiced smile and a notepad.
"Welcome to Aloha Table! Have you decided?"
The order was placed. Fia ordered the most expensive and colorful item (obviously). Futaba ordered a sensible Loco Moco. Mai ordered a Caesar salad with grilled chicken (the actress's diet was relentless).
"And for the gentleman?" the waitress smiled, pen hovering.
"Tap water. Room temperature. No ice so as not to dilute the nutritional value of the hydrogen."
"A classic burger for him," Mai intervened, ignoring Kaito's performative poverty. "He gets grumpy when his blood sugar drops."
The waitress laughed, noting the extra order. She looked from Kaito to Mai, and then to the two girls across the table.
"Right! All noted," she said, collecting the menus. Before leaving, she cast a warm look at Kaito and Mai.
"By the way... you make a very cute couple! You match so well, even with such... different styles. It's like that 'Opposites Attract' trend, you know? Very cute!"
She winked and skipped off toward the kitchen.
Silence descended upon the table like an anvil.
Kaito froze, hand outstretched to grab the water glass. Mai maintained her serene expression, but Kaito, with his perception trained to detect danger, noticed the slight, almost imperceptible, blush on the tips of her ears.
Across the table, Fia's eyes widened. A malignant and divine gleam lit up in them.
"OHO!" the goddess exclaimed, leaning over the table and knocking over the salt shaker in the process. "THE NPC HAS SPOKEN! THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE IS THE VOICE OF THE SYSTEM!"
"Fia, shut up," Kaito said, drinking the water quickly. "She works for tips. The compliment is a financial manipulation tactic to increase customer satisfaction. It is a service protocol, not an observation of reality."
"Ah, no, no, no!" Fia wagged her index finger in his face. "She said 'Cute Couple'! She said 'Opposites Attract'! Kaito, that is external validation! It is canonical recognition of the 'Ship'!"
She turned to Futaba. "Rio! Scientific analysis! Do they look like a couple?"
Futaba, who was drinking iced tea, looked at the two of them. She adjusted her glasses, entering analytical mode.
"Well..." she began, ignoring Kaito's warning look. "Visually, there is an aesthetic contrast. Mai-san is polished and radiant. Tanaka is... gray and light-absorbing. However, the body language suggests familiarity. You sit close, invading each other's personal space without discomfort. Mai-san orders food for you because she knows your biological habits. And you pay her bill without questioning (much)."
Futaba took another sip of tea.
"Conclusion: The waitress's hypothesis is based on solid observable data. For an external observer uninformed about the nuances of 'supernatural syndromes' and 'tsundere personalities,' the 'couple' classification is the most logical."
"Betrayed by science," Kaito muttered, sinking into his chair.
"See?! See?!" Fia was almost climbing onto the table. "Kaito and Mai, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N..."
"If you finish that nursery rhyme," Kaito said, with deadly calm, "I cancel your juice with the umbrella."
Fia shut up instantly, sitting properly and arranging the napkin on her lap. "Silence is a virtue."
Mai, who had remained silent throughout the trial, finally spoke. She picked up a piece of bread from the basket.
"You are noisy," she said, with a perfectly neutral tone of voice. "The girl was just being polite. Kaito is my assistant. Assistants hang out with their bosses. Sometimes, that generates confusion."
She looked at Kaito sideways.
"Although... I suppose being mistaken for the girlfriend of an antisocial delinquent is a novelty for my public image. Maybe it's good for a change."
"I am not a delinquent," Kaito defended himself. "I am a law-abiding citizen being extorted."
"Whatever, 'Boyfriend'," Fia teased quietly, protecting her imaginary glass.
The food arrived, interrupting the argument and saving Kaito from having to explain why his ears were also a little warm. The meal proceeded with Fia trying to steal fries from everyone ("Divine Tax!"), Futaba looking genuinely happy eating something not from a convenience store, and Mai ensuring Kaito ate vegetables.
It was domestic. It was chaotic. And, to Kaito's horror, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.
The bill arrived. The amount made Kaito's eyes water.
"Let's go to the aquarium," he said, standing up quickly to hide the financial pain. "Before I regret it and run into the sea."
The Enoshima Aquarium was a dark and cool refuge. The bluish glass walls lit the visitors' faces with an ethereal light.
"Jellyfish!" Futaba declared, walking faster toward the main exhibit.
It was the mission objective. The unified girl wanted to see brainless creatures floating without purpose. Kaito could respect that.
They entered the jellyfish hall. It was a circular room, with cylindrical tanks where the creatures pulsed gently, ignoring the outside world.
Futaba pressed her face to the glass.
"They are... simple," she whispered. "No complex central nervous system. No ego. No social media. They just... exist. And are beautiful because of it."
Kaito stood beside her, hands in pockets.
"Maximum biological efficiency," he agreed. "No thoughts, no problems. My spirit animal."
Futaba laughed. She looked at her reflection in the glass. There was only one Rio Futaba there.
"Thank you, Tanaka," she said, without turning. "For... everything. For the bread. For the clothes. And for embarrassing me in front of Kunimi."
"I just accelerated the inevitable process," Kaito said. "You were going to reintegrate eventually. Entropy always wins."
"Maybe," she turned to him. "But it was faster with you."
Meanwhile, at another tank, Fia was having a philosophical debate with a giant crab.
"Look at him, Mai! He has armor! He is a tank! I want to ride him into battle!"
"Fia, don't tap on the glass," Mai scolded, pulling the goddess by the collar.
Mai looked at Kaito and Futaba talking calmly. A soft smile appeared on her lips. She walked over to them.
"Kaito," she said. "You survived."
"Barely," he replied. "My wallet is in the ICU."
Mai looked at the floating jellyfish. The blue light reflected in her eyes.
"The waitress was right, you know," she said, casually.
Kaito stiffened. "About what? The burger?"
"About us matching," Mai said. She didn't look at him. She kept looking at the tank. "Different styles. But... it works."
Kaito's heart skipped a beat. A system error. A glitch.
"Incorrect analysis," he said, his voice coming out a little hoarser than usual. "We are incompatible. You are work. I am rest. You are drama. I am silence."
In the darkness of the aquarium, illuminated by the bluish light that highlighted her features, Mai turned slowly to him, looking like a mirage.
"And yet," she whispered, taking a step toward him, invading his personal space, "here we are. In the dark. Together."
She smiled. That dangerous, amused smile.
"Careful, Kaito-kun. If you keep being so reliable, I might start taking the waitress's comment seriously."
Kaito opened his mouth to reply, to present a logical argument on why that would be a bad idea, but Fia chose that moment to intervene.
"GUYS! LOOK! PENGUINS! THEY ARE WEARING TUXEDOS! THEY ARE NATURE'S BUTLERS!"
The moment broke. Mai laughed and moved away, heading toward the excited goddess.
Kaito stood still before the jellyfish tank.
"Penguins..." he muttered, running a hand over his face. "Penguins are salvation."
He looked at Mai's back.
"Matching..." he repeated the word mentally.
"SYSTEM ALERT!" Fia's voice sounded in his head, even though she was screaming about penguins ten meters away. "CHOSEN ONE'S HEART RATE ELEVATED! CORTISOL LEVEL LOW! OXYTOCIN LEVEL... DETECTED!"
"Shut up, Fia. It's the heat."
"We are in air conditioning, Kaito! Admit it! The 'Ship' has sailed!"
Kaito sighed, pushing off the glass.
The mission was accomplished. Futaba was whole. Fia was fed. Mai was... being Mai.
And him?
He was poor, tired, and in an emotional confusion he refused to categorize.
"Let's see the penguins," he said, walking toward the group. "And then, I'm going home. And if anyone tries to enter my apartment tonight, I'm calling the police."
"Even Mai?" teased Futaba, who had heard the last part.
"Especially Mai," Kaito said, without looking back. "She is the most dangerous of all."
They left the jellyfish hall, four silhouettes against the blue light, walking toward the exit and the end of another troublesome arc.
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