Though he felt bad for how hurt she must have been, Rhovian did not regret having said that.
"It is better that she does not hope for a baby, at least for now, until Rhavi gets an heir and Rhemo gets married and also father a boy, so I can leave the palace to live isolated with her on a distant land."
Since he could not avoid getting married, his plans had to change from not fathering a child to waiting until his brothers had his own male heirs. That way, he could ask for permission from his father to abdicate his right and duty to the succession line. But while his older brother had only the two of them as possible heirs, that was not an option.
Technically, it was not necessary for Rhemo to also become a father, just that Rhavi became one. That way, he would have his own heir and also Rhemo to succeed him, if needed be. But he knew his father better than that. He was way too careful with political issues to let his middle son extract himself from the succession line before he secured as many heirs to his own than he himself had.
"If they both get their own boys, I can abdicate my rights and leave. Then I will be the fourth on line after Rhavi, to be called upon the throne only if all three of them somehow find themselves unable to rule." The chances for this to happen while he was alive were extremely low, especially if his brothers ended up having more than one son, so it was a perfect way to be able to live in peace, away from political affairs and the risks of having his blood curse found out.
But, right now, the price for it was hurting Ylenna's heart.
After their conversation on the way to dinner, they didn't exchange a single word. Both of them had their meals and returned to the bedroom in complete silence. He left her at the door and went to the bathroom next to it, bathing alone and getting in his night clothes before going back.
When he got there, his pillow and blanket were already on the couch, the candles were no longer burning, and Ylenna was laying down, her back facing the door, her whole body tucked beneath the blankets. She was clearly not sleeping, but trying to act like it.
That was already a sore sight, but as Rhovian had been laying down, waiting for the sleep to engulf him, for at least thirty unsuccessful minutes, his heart suffered a heavier blow, when he heard the princess crying, trying to make as little sounds as possible.
Though she only cried for less than half an hour, Rhovian could not fall asleep for at least two more hours. His heart ached, haunted more by him being the cause of her anguish than the sound of her sobs.
He could not personally relate to exactly why she felt so miserable, but he tried to imagine the reasons.
Ylenna had spent seven whole years thinking he hated her, just as he also thought she despised him. That he could understand.
But as for the rest, he would not have the slightest idea of how heavy it felt on her. Firstly, he was not the one away from his home and family. Here, the only really known person she had was Zena, her maid she brought from home. All the other ladies attending to the princess were from the Kozhar Palace.
Secondly, she was a woman who had only just married and had not gotten her nuptials for three nights already, because her husband refused to. She probably thought he did not desire her at all. That could only amount to a hurt pride.
Third, as a second-prince's, not an Heir prince's, or even a Lord's, wife, her only role in their marriage would be to bear his children. The princess did not have the duty, or even the right, to oversee political affairs, as would the Heir Princess or the Queen. Nor did she have a household to look after as a Lord's wife would, since the royal palace wings had their own butler and housekeeper. This thought alone must have made her foreseen future as tedious and of small purpose.
He, as the Second Prince, was appointed as the military strategist and third-party-conflicts intermediator, also responsible to train the knights, just as his younger brother was entrusted to intermediate with the commoners' needs. She had only one possible role and he was denying even that to her. His wife probably felt miserable for it.
And lastly, but surely the worst part of it: unlike him, she had no idea about why he was behaving like that. Ylenna did not know why her husband would deny her a child, nor why he would not even bed her, or even show affection, at least once.
"Well… she may have not despised me before, but now I am pretty sure she hates me. And, poor one. She will hate me even more."
By morning, Rhovian noticed that Ylenna was awake, though still in bed and under the blankets, because the sound of her breathing was different from when she was asleep. Even so, he pretended to believe she was sleeping, changed his clothes and went out for the training grounds.
From the first moment there, though, his mind went back over and over to the sound of the young woman crying during the night. His heart felt heavy and his chest ached whenever he combed through the reasons he had imagined to her anguish.
"If only I was not cursed with this damned blue blood…"
— Your highness, you're way too out of yourself today. What's going on? — Nivan approached him with a concerned face and a apprehensive tone. — You were disarmed four times and it is not even eight in the morning. Two of them by squires. It was so ridiculous they didn't even find it worth celebrating.
Only then did Rhovian come to his senses that he was not holding any wood sword in his hand.
Since he had gotten capable enough to not be thrown to the ground, his father allowed him to duel using wood or dull swords against other apprentices, since they could not make any scratches on him using those weapons. As he got better and better at it, he was now able to fight against well trained knights with non-cutting swords. As long as he did not get scratched by falling without protective gear on uneven ground, his secret would be okay.
But, today, it almost happened. He was so distracted that one of the newer knights was able to push him to the rough ground. Luckily, though, his glove was thick enough to prevent any scratches.
Rhovian looked around, as everyone was watching the conversation between Nivan, the Prince's knights' commander, and the Prince, who oversaw not only his private knights' training, but also the Kings' knights.
— I apologize, guys. I… I got some urgent things to take care of. You keep up with the sparring. The vice-commander will oversee the training for today. I will need Sir Nivan's help on a matter.
He approached Sir Kirton, putting a hand on his shoulder.
— Just do the usual and dismiss them on time.
— Yes, your royal highness.
— Okay, now. What's going on? You even look pale.
— I realized I am being a terrible husband to the princess… and I cannot do better… She is miserable and it is all my fault, but I cannot do anything to change this.
— Wait… you've not been married for a whole week, yet. What could you possibly be doing so terribly that you can't even change? You were so in love with her since you met for the first time! And you're not a scumbag who would be violent to his wife! There's no way you're being that terrible of a husband.
Rhovian took a deep breath and explained everything that happened to Nivan.
— You're being such a terrible, scumbag of a husband.
— I appreciate your support. It is surely such a blessing to have a friend like you.
— Honestly? That's exactly what she thinks of you. But, well… I understand that it's a tricky situation. Even though you're married, it's a truth you can't risk telling her yet…
Rhovian nodded, then resting his forehead against his hands.
— But, you know. Maybe you could compensate her in other areas.
— How?
— What do women like? Buy her gifts, take her on strolls, tell her she looks pretty, go horse riding together… if she longs to feel desired… show her you desire her in other ways. Kiss her sometimes, maybe.
— When have you ever been so knowledgeable about women's affairs? — asked Rhovian, in shock.
— You know, I have a younger sister who likes reading romances and she won't shut up about how stupid the male protagonists are, always, and what they should be doing instead to make amends to the women, and what else.
The prince scoffed, unable to hide that he found the situation too tragically comic.
— I see… I will try. But I am afraid… if I treat her that way, and she starts actually falling for me, and I end up being even more in love with her… what if I cannot hold myself back, one day? It has been quite difficult, already. I find it hard to suppress my yearning even while sleeping on the sofa, away from her.
— Well, then… — sighed Nivan, getting up. — let's just pray that this one night of unleashed lust won't lead to a baby.
— Your highness, a letter from the king arrived for you. — Karl approached him as soon as he stepped back in the castle's hall, having decided to go talk to Ylenna. He was holding a paper envelope with his family's coat of arms.
— From the King? — Rhovian scoffed. — Could he not just call for me to his office?
"He is always so performatic…"
— I believe His Majesty wanted you to know about it as soon as possible. He has a lot of previously booked audiences for this morning, you see.
— Okay, okay. I got it. — Rhovian took the letter and opened it, reading quickly through the words. — Ah, great. I will need to step outside for a few days…
— May I ask what is the matter, your highness?
— A small quarrel among two lords, not too far from here. It is maybe… two to three days to get there.
— A quarrel, your highness?
— Just some stupid old geezers arguing over an abandoned bridge and a dry well, for what is written here. But they have drawn swords, so I will have to go there to intermediate.
Rhovian shook his head in displeasure.
— I could have been born the third son. At least the commoners Rhemo has to deal with live closer.
Lord Karl suppressed a laughter.
— Oh… fuck. — Rhovian suddenly remembered. — Karl, please. Call her highness' maid, Lady Zena, to my office right now. Then find Nivan, tell him about this issue. He must arrange for us to depart immediately with twenty knights and three-days-worth supplies.
— Yes, your highness. — Karl bowed to him. Rhovian was already reaching out to his office doorknob when he noticed the servants waiting for him to get inside.
— Why is Zena not here yet?
— I have a request. — He told the lady. — Pay close and extra attention to her highness today and on the following days. Make sure she eats well and finds something to distract her mind. Probably visiting the dog at the kennels. I have assigned Sir Nivan's father, Lord Klaus, to escort her in my absence. She may be quite disheartened for the next few days. Write down daily reports regarding everything that she does and deliver them to me as soon as I come back from this intermediation. Also, do not say a word about my request to her or anyone else, understood?
— Yes, your royal highness. Understood.
— Good. I appreciate it. You are dismissed.
But Zena did not move that soon.
— Is there anything else you want to tell me?
— It… is only that, when I went to your highnesses' room earlier, around nine, to wake her highness up…
— Do tell me quickly, Zena. I find myself in quite a hurry.
— She looked quite disheveled. And had puffy and red bags under her eyes. I believe she has cried a lot during the night and… maybe even in the morning after you left, your highness.
Rhovian felt his heart dropping and his hands getting cold.
— Is that it… Thank you for telling me, Zena. Has she gathered herself?
— I gave her some cold herbal packs to apply on her eyes and some warm tea to her heart. She appeared to having stopped crying.
— And has she had breakfast?
— Only a slice of watermelon and three grapes. Because I insisted a lot.
Rhovian felt the lump in his throat getting harder and harder to swallow.
— Please… make her eat some more. I pray that you will attend to her in your… best efforts.
— I will, your highness. — She then went out of his office.
After making some final arrangements to the journey, Rhovian was in a dilemma. Should he go bid her goodbye? Or would it be better to leave her alone, since she should feel worse after seeing him?
— Your highness… we must leave. If we delay it a moment more we will be caught by the twilight in the road between two cities and have to camp.
— Okay. Let us go. — He announced with a heavy heart, mounting his horse.