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Chapter 12 - Chapter 5.1: Mother's Phone Sex

After his mother left, Lian looked at Pingshan's face.

Pingshan, good at reading people, immediately said, apologizing with a smile, "Even monks need to earn a living, don't they?"

"My mom is usually very careful with money, even when spending just a few dollars on groceries. You're amazing; you managed to persuade her to buy your expensive incense that costs $5..."

"Heh, that's skill, isn't it?" Pingshan said mockingly.

After watching their mother enter the Hall with incense, Pingshan suddenly said softly, "Little Lian, although you are young, your knowledge is already quite remarkable. There are some things that shouldn't be said to a child of your age, but I think it's better to tell you."

Lian hesitated, "Master, please speak frankly."

Pingshan thought for a moment, seemingly undecided, but seeing Lian's calm expression, he finally spoke, "This humble Taoist has some knowledge of physiognomy. Forgive my bluntness, but your mother's face is rather unfavorable."

Lian was puzzled, "My mother's face is unfavorable?"

Pingshan fell into deep thought again, and after a while, replied, "It's not that it's unlucky, but rather that good fortune can bring bad luck. Your mother is beautiful; in the eyes of an ordinary fortune-teller, she has the look of someone who will bring prosperity to her husband and family. I think that when your father married her, he probably expected this."

Lian remembered his grandparents mentioning in casual conversation that since marrying his mother, his father's career had been smooth sailing.

And the entire family had prospered for over ten years.

This perfectly matched Pingshan's description of "a wife who brings prosperity to her husband and family."

"But actually, your mother's face is just too good. If it were ancient times, she would have the appearance of an empress."

Pingshan's words truly startled Lian.

"What? An empress? Brother Pingshan, you can't joke like that!

"I'm just saying, take it as it is. Your mother's face is too good, far beyond what ordinary people can match. Initially, things may seem glamorous, but if the person matched with her is not fortunate enough, they won't be able to bear this fortune, and there will inevitably be bloodshed. Moreover..."

Pingshan wanted to tell Lian that his mother's "eyebrows like a bow, eyes like water, and a face with a peach-like glow... a sign of unfaithfulness," but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

While Pingshan hesitated, Lian spoke for him: "And my mother's face has a peach-like glow, right?"

"Huh... you knew all along?" Pingshan was dumbfounded.

"I read books on physiognomy two years ago. I didn't understand them then, but now I understand a little better. I've already examined my mother's face. But you said she has the countenance of an empress, and I really didn't see it," Lian explained, gazing at his mother's devoutly worshipping figure in the Incense Hall.

"Since you know a little about it, that makes things easier. Whether or not she has many suitors isn't the point; what's important is that your mother's face is too auspicious, which might not be a good thing. If she doesn't find a suitable match, I'm afraid she might die young," Pingshan said frankly, seeing Lian's lack of pretense.

"Physiognomy is something that some believe in, some don't. Besides, my family believes in Taoism. Brother Pingshan, it's not that serious, is it?" Although he said this, after their last encounter, Lian knew that the Taoist priest Pingshan had some genuine knowledge.

Deceiving worshippers was one thing, but he wouldn't speak carelessly about himself.

"Indeed, but your mother's face is truly one in a million. I, Pingshan, have cultivated for decades, and only today have I seen one like her. If it weren't for your mother, I would doubt whether the face my master mentioned back then even existed." Pingshan also gazed at Lian's mother's back, but his eyes genuinely revealed astonishment.

"Then what do you mean by bringing this up?" Lian asked tentatively.

"Back then, when my master mentioned this face, he specifically explained the method for averting misfortune associated with it, which could ensure the safety of the person's relatives. I thought you might find it useful, so I brought it up." Pingshan was straightforward.

"Then why don't you tell me? If something really happens to my family, I might be able to perform the ritual." Lian became somewhat interested.

"The method for averting misfortune is actually quite simple: mortals accumulate good deeds and virtues to seek blessings! But those with this face must do the opposite; they must perform acts of immorality and rebellion to dissipate some of their fortune and align themselves with the way of Heaven. Then they can be safe and sound." Pingshan replied.

"Outrageous and rebellious? You're telling my mother to kill, rebel, and do evil?! Are you kidding me? These days, anyone who rebels gets wiped out immediately!" Lian genuinely wanted to laugh.

Regardless of religion, when preaching, they almost always instruct people to do good deeds and accumulate merit. But this Taoist priest Pingshan was telling his mother to do the opposite, and even commit evil.

How could Lian not find this laughable?

"Fine, I was just repeating Master's words from back then. Don't laugh so exaggeratedly, okay?" Pingshan also realized that what he said was rather unreliable.

Seeing Lian laughing so hard he was almost bent over, his face turning almost as red as a monkey's bottom...

His mother burned incense, made a wish and felt she had completed a very important task; her mood improved considerably.

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