CHAPTER 3
Keys in hand, I hurried back down. Cassie was waiting by the door, swinging her bag strap impatiently.
"You look pretty, baby," I said as we walked to the car.
"Thanks, Mom," she grinned, flipping her bangs.
"You got it from Mom, not Dad, right," I teased, flicking the hair from eyes.
Cassie giggled as I urged her into the back seat. By the time we reached the school, she was already humming her favourite song. I handed her to the homeroom teacher, and she looked back just once.
"I love you, Mom."
"Me too," I said softly, my smile faltering as soon as her small figure disappeared through the class door.
The mask slipped away again, my face hardening as I drove off. The next stop wasn't the café. It was Dr Kath's house
Dr Kath opened the door before I even knocked twice, her brows knitting in concern.
"Ash. Is everything okay? Did Kayden find out? Did you lose control?"
"No!" I snapped, my voice too sharp. "He can't ever find out or everything is ruined."
"Relax, I was only asking." She stepped aside, ushering me in. "What's wrong?"
I pressed my palms into my temples. "I don't know. The dreams are coming back, and they're worse. I had another episode this morning-Kayden was terrified." My voice cracked. "I need more medication. Increase the dose."
"No." Her tone was firm. "I won't, Ash. You're destroying yourself."
"My life is already destroyed! I screamed, my hands lashing out, sending a mug and the TV remote crashing against the wall.
"Diana, stop! She shouted back. "Calm down!"
Her voice pierced the haze of rage, pulling me out of my madness just enough to meet her eyes.
"If this gets out of hand," she said, her tone steadier now, "you won't just lose your husband and kids- you'll lose everything. Your whole façade will crumble. Do you want that?"
Her words cut deeper than the scars on my chest. I clenched my fists, trembling thinking of life without Kayden and the kids then whispered, "Fine.
CHAPTER 4
What do you suggest?"
"We do this my way," she said firmly. I'll increase the dosage slightly, but you must follow my prescription exactly. Don't you dare take more than I allow."
I swallowed my pride, my voice dropping to a mutter.
"Fine."
"That's better." She softened, but her gaze lingered on me with something like pity. "Ash…. Is all of this worth it? The drugs, the lies, the pain?"
"Yes." I met her stare, unflinching. "They're worth it."
"I hope so," she whispered.
I stood, ready to leave, but the weight of her question followed me out the door like a shadow I couldn't shake.
On the drive home, memories clawed their way back, uninvited. The first time I met Kayden replayed in my mind with cruel clarity.
I had been losing control again. The pain and anger came in waves so strong I couldn't stop myself. It was like fire racing through my veins, begging me to destroy everything in sight. My vision blurred, my body trembling, my eyes burning until the world itself seemed to shift colour.
I was gone. Lost in the rage.
And then- his hand. Warm. Steady. Holding mine.
"Miss…. Calm down. I'm here with you."
His voice was calm, low, unshaken. I wanted to pull away, to snarl, and to lash out. But when I looked up, I saw his smile. Gentle. Unafraid
The pain and storm inside me faltered. For the first time, opposite sex's touch didn't ignite my fury-it smothered it. His presence steadied me in a way nothing else ever had.
In that instant, I knew.
He was the one. The anchor in my chaos. The man I would never let go of, even if it meant burning in hell together.
And I swore to myself: I would do anything to keep my secret safe.
When I got home, I went straight to see Mari.
She was lying in her crib, soft as a cloud- tiny hands, tiny feet, her breath, a slow rhythm that went straight to my soul. She was so perfect. Fragile. I was terrified I might lose control and hurt her. Sometimes it was hard to believe she was mine. A little bunny who looked nothing like me.
I was so happy watching her grow up and knowingly: Her face was all Kayden-same eyes, same stubborn but kind mouth. But those eyes…. when they caught the light just right, they looked like mine. That scares the shit out of me than anything.
I reached down and touched her hand.
"I'm going to protect you and your sis," I whispered. "You'll never be like me. Weak. Fragile. I'll make sure of that."
My thumb tightened around her small arm without realizing it. The pressure grew, my hand shaking as something ugly and very familiar rose inside me. Mari's eyes widened. She whimpered-softly at first, then louder.
Her little face twisted in fear.
"Mari-oh God-" I let go immediately. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
Tears blurred my vision as I backed away from the crib.
Nanny Mendela rushed in, scooping Mari into her arms.
"Ma'am," she said gently, though her voice trembled,