He was a monster.
That was the fact. It was the only thing that made sense.
Bruce sat on the top step of Anah's porch, his head in his hands. The rain had stopped, but the world was still weeping. Water dripped from the bare, black branches of the oaks. It ran in rivers down the cracked walkway. The air was cold, sharp, and smelled of wet pavement and ozone—a smell he was starting to think would never wash off his skin.
He had lost her.
He had seen the look in her eyes. The terror. Not just of the power, but of him. He had seen her run. He had stood in the rain, a pathetic, drowned, monster-boy, and he had watched her lock the door.
He had come home. Anah had been at the door, her face a mask of stone. She had simply looked at him, seen his rain-soaked, broken expression, and said, "She is... where she needs to be. She is safe. From them. And from you."
She had not let him in.
So he sat. He had been sitting on the porch for... he didn't know. Hours. The cold had seeped through his jeans, turning his legs into numb, useless blocks of ice. He was shaking, a low, constant, bone-deep shudder.
He was a monster, and he was alone.
He had destroyed the cup. He had liked it. He had terrified the only person he had ever loved.
This... he thought, his mind a dull, hollow ache, ...this is how it ends. I'm... I'm just... the bad guy.
He was so lost in the cold, grey misery of his new reality that he didn't hear the footsteps until they were on the walkway.
He flinched, his head snapping up, a surge of pure, panicked adrenaline making his heart slam. A Herald. Anah's "Hunters." It's here. It's...
It was her.
Ruth was standing at the bottom of the steps, a dark, small, real shape in the gloom. Her hair was plastered to her face. She was wearing a different, dry hoodie, but her sneakers were soaked, as if she'd run all the way back.
She was just... staring at him.
"Ruth..." he whispered, his voice a dry, cracked thing. He tried to stand, but his legs were too numb. He looked pathetic. "What... what are you... You should... you should go. I'm... I'm not... safe."
"I know," she said. Her voice was small. It was trembling. But it was here.
She didn't move. She just stood there, ten feet away, her arms wrapped around her stomach as if she were going to be sick.
"I... I ran," she whispered, her voice barely carrying. "I... I... I locked my door. And... and... I... I listened... to my mom... making dinner... like... like nothing... had... happened."
"Ruth, you... you should," he stammered. "That's... that's normal. That's... safe. You... you should be... normal."
"I... I can't," she said, and her voice broke. A single, hot sob escaped. "I tried! I... I... I sat... at... at... my... desk... and... I... I... I looked at... at... our algebra... homework!"
She laughed, a high-pitched, hysterical, terrible sound. "Algebra! And... and... I... I just... I... I kept... seeing... it, Bruce. I... I... I kept... hearing... the... CRACK."
"Me too," he whispered.
"I'm... I'm scared," she said, her voice dropping, her eyes wide, tears finally, slowly, tracking through the rain on her cheeks. "I... I... I am so... scared... I... I... I could... I could throw up."
"Go... home, Ruth," he pleaded. "Please. Just... just... go."
"No," she said.
The word was so quiet, so small, but it hit him with all the force of the surge.
"I... I... I sat there," she said, her voice shaking, but gaining strength. "I... I... I was... terrified... of... you. And... and... and I... I... I was... terrified... of... them... the... the... Hunters... Anah... warned... me... about."
She took a step, her sneaker squelching on the path.
"But... but... but then..." she took another step, "...I... I... I... I realized... I... I... I... am... more... scared..."
She was at the bottom of the steps now, looking up at him, her face a pale, tear-streaked, beautiful, furious mask.
"...I... I... I... am... more... scared... FOR... you."
He just stared at her, his heart a painful, frozen, aching thing in his chest.
"You... you... you idiot," she whispered, and she was crying now, hot, angry, terrified tears. "You... you... you sit... out... here... in... in... in... the... cold... in... in... in... the... rain... thinking... you're... a... monster. Thinking... you're... alone. You... are... not... alone, Bruce! You... you... you... are... not... allowed... to... be... alone!"
She was in this. She was choosing this.
"But... I... I..." he stammered. "I... I am... a... monster. Ruth, I... I... I liked... it. The... the... the cup... I... I... I..."
"I... I... I know!" she said, her voice a low, trembling whisper. "I... I... I know... you... you... you did! And... and... and that... that's... why... I'm... here! Because... because... because someone... has... to... stay... with... you! Someone... has... to... hold... your... hand... when... you're... not... a... monster... so... you... remember... what... it... feels... like!"
She hadn't moved. He was on the top step. She was on the bottom. A universe apart.
"I'm... I'm so scared," she said, her voice finally breaking, "but... but... I'm not... leaving... you. Not... not... not ever. So... so... so... talk... to... me, Bruce. Please."
She looked up, her gaze a steel, terrified, loving thing.
"Stop... lying... to... me. Stop... hiding. Stop... Anah's... lies. Stop... all... of... it. Tell... me... everything."