The dream continued, it almost felt as if I was in a soulless body with thoughts floating around...so I listened carefully so that they won't just flew away....
I was walking on the street so free, for the first time.. and I saw corpse walking around thinking that this soul belongs to them...I saw my sword, which felt more alive than them.. I hold it tight so that it will hold my soul with it ...
I was still walking in this endless loop and saw soo many corpse . some are playing, some are laughing, some just lost and some fake once...so, why do I feel like they are more joyful when they are merely some clones of God's will...who are just walking in a straight line yet why are they trying to find some glory and curves in it..?
WHY DON'T THEY JUST GAVE UP..?
Days have passed since I left master's home... I was just walking on the street and thinking what's the point of all this.?
then I saw a old lady watering a almost dead plant...I got curious so, i went to her...
*Mam, you know that it was almost dead right,so why don't you just let it die...?* she answered with the softest voice i have ever heard.. maybe angles have this kind of voice..?
old lady *hoo..? does it really seem like it was dieing..? why can't I see that..? all I see was a little plant waiting for someone to hug it...*
i felt like "what is she even talking about..? is she good.?" she then started to brush the plant leaves softly and said...
*you know I can't just let it die cause it always wanted to swing with the air when the spring comes... it can't just die before that can it..? when it dance with the spring warm winds.. it's soul will have a meaning coming to it , don't you think...? that happiness might make the soul to stay with the plant body...?*
I don't get her at all, so i left... i walked and walked, to a point i don't even know where i am...
but in the place I was... A war broke down, and i was once again in the middle of a war zone...
a warrior came to me with a sword in his hand, so I tried to pull mine out... but he didn't attack me , but protected me from a group of people charging towords him... he said " hey , kid , it is dangerous here... run and stop playing with your toy story..." he laughed, I said " I can easily ki*l you, you know..?" he laughed again and said " yeah..? I'm scared..! but hold my hand and don't leave it okk? " he hold my hand which gave me a feeling i have never felt before...
we ran and ran , finnally reached a safe looking place
but then again i was alot more people who seem like waiting for us... that warrior pulled out his sword and went for the fight... but there are too many... only targeted him... he said with blo*d draining from his skin..." I will protect you , so stay back" ... but some thing came from the back and stabbed mister...but he was still trying to protect me ...
as warm liquid started to fall from my eyes, i asked " mister, why did you decided not to attack me and run..? why did you tried to protect me..?" he laughed again... but the light in his eyes faded...he hold my hand and closed his eyes (a flash in his eyes , maybe it's his little son , smiling at him... opened his little arms for him to fall into) ....and i cried for the first time...while pulling out my sword...
I was back at that place... not knowing that the spring started...warm air came in my way ( trying to purify me again..?) and i saw the little plant dancing to it... it was the most beautiful seen I have ever saw...all I had in my head is just the plant and that old lady's words.... and it flew away with wind, but it still feels like it is dancing....then suddenly I saw that old lady's hand on my shoulders..she said...
* isn't that beautiful, what good it have been if it just died... what meaning will it carry back to heavens..? *
And at that moment it was just that plant and that old lady's warm hand on my cold shoulder...
* What is going in my head...why is my head soo blank, I should think of something right? So it is what I'm thinking, haa?...What I did was right, right.? Or my whole concept of right was wrong?*
I don't care... if my whole life is wrong then what's the point of carrying that meaningless thoughts..? so, i said...
* mam, can i learn what is life once again... i just want to forget all that life I know *
old lady * so where do you want to start..?*
i suddenly snapped from the dream as if someone has cut the tread tied to the dream and my mind...
i woke up and saw the time was 3am ... i felt something creepy.... cause i heard somewhere that if you wake up right in the middle of night .... it means someone is watching you...!
I was Zhan and Lian sleeping soundly...so went to the window for fresh air.... I regret that now as I looked out I saw a shadow on the beach....!
I turned back and saw Zhan smiling in his dream...(it's creepy for some reasons)...
i went back to my bed and hold on to my pellow...(no nightmares please)
i feel asleep.... and i saw a little tree on a island...it grow but i don't....it grow old but I saw still starring...it died and I'm still standing there... many plans grow but I'm still standing...just standing....all that changed is the way I'm looking at them... that's it