Alan and Nicole were convivial hosts, accepting the guest at their dinner table with stately aplomb. There was no shouting nor anger, no bitter statements of 'what they gonna eat' or 'I'm not made of money,' just polite conversation and a welcoming atmosphere.
I watched it and felt that I'd been gypped somehow. That my entire life had been one big joke where I was being giving the shitty end of the stick and denied the knowledge of how other people lived their lives in relative peace and lack of chaos.
It was more than a little disconcerting.
"So," Alan said, sipping from his glass of white wine. "You met through work?"
"Sort of," I said, and reached for my glass of water. No wine for me. I was still 'ill' in Nicoles overprotective eyes.
Which, I kind of liked. It was better than the usual neglect I'd always known.
"Yes," Anna said, smiling. Like the parents, she was poised and polite, more than capable of navigating the social niceties of dinner with a friend's family. "Chloe had some questions and research that I was able to help with."
"Oh, what is it that you do?" Nicole asked.
"I'm currently helping host research into Celtic mythology and the pagan rituals which formed much of the basis of our modern religions." She took a bite of the chicken, taking a moment to savour the cream sauce as she rolled her eyes happily. "This, is divine, by the way."
"Thank you." Nicole visibly preened at the praise, and I hid a smile as I took a bite of my meal.
The three of them chatted amiably while I tried to maintain a measured pace with the meal. Picking at it and nibbling, more than chomping away like I normally would have. Attempting to copy the others.
Nicole and Alan watched me carefully, and I was sure they were picking up on differences in how I was now, compared to before, but hoped they would put it down to some deficit left over after the coma.
"No Kevin tonight, love?" Alan asked, and I hastily swallowed the bite of food in my mouth before dabbing at my lips with the napkin.
"I've not heard from him."
"Everything's alright, I hope." Nicole wore a look of concern that I waved away.
"He had a busy day at work. I'm sure I'll get a message in a bit." I glanced back at where my purse hung beside the door. My phone was inside, and it was, apparently, poor etiquette to have it at the dining table.
"That's a good lad," Alan said, nodding. "He's good for you. A calming presence."
Whatever the fuck that meant.
I just smiled and went back to eating and the conversation moved on. It was anxiety inducing and painful whenever the parents would reference some past event or achievement and I could only nod and smile and pretend I knew what I was talking about.
Eventually, the meal was finished, and Nicole rose to gather the plates.
"Let me help," Anna said, and cast a stern glance my way.
"Ah, sure, me too."
"Well, that's a pleasant change," Nicole said, smiling widely. "Be my guest."
Which is how I ended up cleaning the dishes and filling the dishwasher under Anna's careful guidance. I glanced across at her as she scrubbed a pan in soapy water at the sink.
"Why push for me to help?"
"Because it's the right thing to do," she said. "Your mum made the meal. The least you can do is help clean up."
Not my mum, but whatever.
"Besides," she said. "Figured you might need a quick walkthrough of how to do it before you were asked when you were alone."
I stopped and stared at her for a moment, brow furrowed. That seemed reasonable, but still. I hated doing the dishes.
Finally, we were done and I grabbed my purse and led Anna upstairs. Once in my bedroom, I tossed the purse onto the bed and flopped down beside it.
"God, that was excruciating."
"I thought it was nice," Anna said, slowly circling the room and peering at the various parts of Chloe's life that were on display. "She was a high achiever."
"Yeah, no shit."
"A lot of after school clubs. Big friend group," she murmured, then turned to look at me. "Have you kept up with her social media?"
"Not my thing." I covered my eyes with my arm and sighed. I needed sleep. "The closest I ever came to using it was sending dick pics to my girlfriend on Snapchat."
"Gross."
"She asked for them." I shrugged. "I was happy to oblige because she sent me stuff in return."
"More gross."
My laughter filled the room and for a moment, I felt content. Then I rolled over and reached for my purse, rooting around for the phone.
No messages.
Shit.
My good humour vanished, and I thumbed up the chat history with Kevin, then stared at it for a long moment.
"You should message him. See how he is."
"Might not be the best idea," I muttered. "He was pretty freaked out yesterday."
Anna settled on the edge of the bed, watching me from beneath lowered lashes. "You want to message him though."
I did.
I liked the guy and in just the short time we'd been hanging out, I'd gotten used to having him around.
With another deep sigh, I fell back on the bed.
"This sucks."
"Life does, hon."
She was treating me like, Chloe. Not the disembodied spirit of some council estate wrong un. But like the girl whose life I had taken.
I kind of liked that. And hated that I did. Not because she was treating me like a girl, but because she was treating me like a friend.
And that wouldn't last.
It was dangling something in front of me, the promise of a better life than the one I'd been living, knowing that it would be going away. Once I had finished my task.
"Okay," I said, pushing myself up. "How do we find this fucking demon."
Anna's eyes widened in surprise at the language, but she didn't comment. Just tapped her chin, pursing her lips as she thought.
"Wait. You said that Kevin came in and found the demon burning from the inside out, right?"
"Yeah."
"How?"
"What do you mean?"
"How did you kill the demon?"
"Oh." My eyes flicked towards the bedside table where the knife rested, shimmering gently. "I… kind of made a second bargain with Orryn,"
"You did what!"
Speaking quickly, almost embarrassed about it, I told her of what happened with Mark and how Orryn had pulled me into the ghost realm before we made another bargain that resulted in the creation of the knife I'd used to kill the two demons.
"Two," she breathed, eyes wide and eyebrows almost to her hairline. "You killed two demons."
"Yah."
"Can I see the knife?"
I tilted my head towards the bedside table. "It's right there."
Anna rose and crossed to the table, glancing first at me as though I was playing a prank on her and then reaching down to touch the top of the table. "I can't feel anything."
Shooing her aside, I wrapped my fingers around the hilt of the knife, and she let out a gasp as it materialized.
It sat in my hand, dark and foreboding, the black blade had lines of crimson and gold running through it, a striated pattern like marble. It emitted a low hum, and I sensed an eagerness to be used, rising from it.
Anna gulped and took a step back; eyes fixed on the weapon as she shook her head.
"A fallen angel crafted that."
"Out of my soul, apparently."
Her gasp filled the room, and I looked away from the blade and up at her. "What?"
"You allowed him to take a part of your eternal essence and forge that foul thing!"
Foul was a bit harsh, I felt. "Yeah, why? Was that bad?"
"Oh, you sweet, stupid, boy," she muttered. "There is a balance to all things, as was the design when God spoke into the darkness and said, 'Let there be light.' This… thing… is an abomination. There is no balance to this."
I disagreed, and I told her so, explaining as best I could what I remembered of its creation. Which, admittedly, was not that much as my main recollection was blinding light and a pain unlike any I'd ever felt before.
But I did recall that it was the darkest parts of me, bound by the best. Which is what I told her.
"That's not balance," she spat. "It's not about binding your sin. It's about letting light meet it. You've trapped your worst self and that's not balance, Danny. That's a bomb."
The knife felt light in my hand, and my arm shivered as though it vibrated. I felt a restless energy and a need to do something with it. A need to strike. To drive it into the heart of an enemy and destroy them.
I gasped and released my hold on the knife. It shimmered and vanished as I wiped my hand on the skirts of my dress. Then, I licked my lips and looked nervously to Anna for advice. "What do I do with it?"
"What can you do?" She lifted her shoulders, shrugging as she shook her head, loose hairs floating free around her face. She swiped at them in irritation. "It's been made. It's part of your soul. You can no more destroy that than you could destroy a part of yourself."
She ran hands over her hair, and grimaced. "I have to tell the circle. This is too big not to."
"Why?" I half-rose, sudden panic. Telling anyone in authority could only be a bad thing, and the circle sounded like authority. "No one can touch it. Only me."
"It was made by a fallen angel!" she repeated. "A celestial object, weapon even, created out of the very essence of a human soul and corrupted due to the creator's nature."
She began to pace, making a small circle on the rug as she mumbled to herself, an argument about what to do that she appeared to be losing.
What that meant, I had no idea, as I wasn't sure what side she was on.
"It kills demons," I pointed out. "I have a demon to kill."
"You're an idiot if you think that's the only bloody thing it does."
It was rare for her to swear, I realised, and when she did, it was an indication of just how pissed she was.
"Guess this means we aren't friends anymore." I sighed, bitterly. "Tell your bloody circle. You know what, I don't care anymore. The sooner I'm done with this charade the better."
Anna stopped in her tracks and spun to face me, mouth hanging open as she screwed up her face. "You really are an idiot."
She crossed to the bed and dropped down beside me, throwing her arms around me and pulling me close. "I'm still your friend." She sighed, softly. "I just don't know how best to help you."
"You are?" I whispered, sniffling and hating how I was unable to stop the tears coming to my eyes. "God, I need to get out of this bloody body, if only to save on tissues."
She chuckled, and then laughed, shoulders shaking as she tightened her hold, rocking me gently as she rested her cheek against the top of my head.
"Aw, hon. What are we gonna do with you?"
I had no answer. All I did know was that I was changing. My mind moulding to the body I was in. Every day as Chloe, I was becoming more and more like her.
It scared me.
I wasn't sure how far it would go.
The only thing I could cling to was my mission from Orryn.
Find the demon and kill it.
Maybe save my sister in the process.
Then I could finally get some fucking peace.