What?
You thought this was your moment, didn't you? The big dramatic reveal. The "oh wow, look, she has depth" chapter. Boo-fucking-hoo. Saya's got tear ducts. Must mean she's a person. Must mean we've reached growth.
No.
No no no.
Buzz off.
You think I haven't buried better people than him? You think this is new? Like this is the first time someone left? The first time someone didn't come back? The first time I had to stand there pretending like I didn't care while my ribs turned inside out?
You saw a crying whore. Congratulations.
Was that what you were waiting for? Some little sniffle to make me real for you? To make me pitiable? Palatable?
Guess what. Still me. Still a bitch. Still broke. Still cursed. Still want to strangle the next bard who rhymes "desire" with "fire."
And Ogden?
He was an idiot.
Golden. Dumb. Pompous. He made me want things. Ok, fine, obscene things.
And now he's dirt. Or ash. Or lying cold with that stupid grin erased.
I hope it hurt.
I hope it burned.
But I swear—if you quote any of this in some tragic fan song, I will come through that wall, slap the mandolin out of your hands, and sell you to the nearest sausage vendor. I have contacts.
So no. You didn't see anything. Nothing worth remembering.
Saya doesn't feel.
Saya doesn't break.
Saya wins.
Now fuck off and let me grieve in peace.