I spun in place, arms wide, lips curled into the fakest of smiles.
"So. What you just witnessed," I said sweetly, "was not a product of my own chaos."
I paced a little, gesturing dramatically like some street preacher with a head full of poppies.
"No theft. No frog-forging. No goat-charming. Not even one cursed relic smuggled up my—never mind."
I pointed behind me, toward the flaming wreckage that was everything.
"This one? Pure Ogden. A hundred percent certified paladin fuckery. The kind you can only get when a man with muscles instead of brains thinks with the wrong head under moonlight."
I placed a hand to my chest.
"I was an innocent bystander. A victim. A collateral byblow. A sweet little me who just happened to be standing next to the blast radius when Sir Dick-and-Destiny decided to plow the wrong elven oracle."
I smiled with all my teeth. It didn't reach my eyes.
"Nearly."
Beat.
"Did we learn something from this?" I asked, tilting my head like a schoolmarm.
I paused.
Raised a finger.
Then shook it off.
"No. No, of course not. Don't be fucking ridiculous."
I turned and started marching toward whatever disaster came next.
"Let's go see how badly I have to lie to get him out of this one."