Part 1: The Unholy Trauma Triangle
After the Pig Incident, something strange began happening around Hogwarts.
Something psychological.
Something tragic.
Something… hilarious.
Each of the three victims could no longer look at each other without reliving the horror. Ron Weasley's Trauma
Ron walked through the corridor and saw Draco coming the opposite direction.
Instantly—
Ron's face went pale.He spun 180 degrees.He sprinted down the hall like a Quidditch Snitch was chasing him.
Draco: "What the—?"
Ron: He was there when Moody turned into a pig… he witnessed it… he KNOWS…
Then Ron turned a corner and saw Moody.
Ron froze like a petrified mandrake.
Moody's magical eye spun toward him.
Ron made a sound that no human should ever make—
"mrrgghh-UGH-urgh—"
—and bolted in the opposite direction.
Moody blinked.
His magical eye blinked.
"…What's wrong with that boy?"
Draco Malfoy's Trauma
Draco was equally cursed.
Whenever he saw Moody, he immediately covered his backside with both hands and hid behind the nearest suit of armor.
Whenever he saw Ron, he hissed:
"DON'T COME NEAR ME! YOU WERE PART OF THAT DAY!"
Ron: "I WAS A VICTIM TOO!"
Draco: "TRAUMA IS CONTAGIOUS!"
Whenever he saw Roy…
Draco immediately retreated.
Slowly.
Respectfully.
Like he was backing away from a sleeping dragon.
"Nope… no more of this chaos… I'm NOT getting involved…"
"Moody's" Trauma (a.k.a. Barty Crouch Jr.)
Moody—who had fought Death Eaters, dark rituals, and Azkaban-level horrors—now had a NEW fear:
Pumpkin pastries.
Because when he fell as a pig…
Ron had been holding pastries.
Now?
Whenever Moody saw pastries he growled:
"GET THOSE AWAY FROM ME!"
Terrifying.
But also pathetic.
Students whispered:
"Moody flinched at a pie again…"
"Did you see him threaten a tray of muffins?"
"He swears pastries are cursed."
And whenever he saw Ron…
Moody would immediately spin 180° and walk in the opposite direction.
Ron: "WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?!"
Moody: "NO REASON."
Ron: "WE WERE BOTH VICTIMS!"
Moody: "EXACTLY."
Part 2: Hogwarts Staff… Still Laughing
The teachers were NOT helping.
At all.
Minerva McGonagall
She tried…SHE REALLY TRIED not to laugh.
But every time she remembered Moody squealing as a pig—
Her lips twitched.
Her shoulders shook.
And during Transfiguration class she accidentally snorted like a pig while giving instructions.
The whole class stared.
McGonagall coughed loudly.
"Ahem. As I was saying…"
But her ears were red.
Professor Flitwick
Every time he saw Moody in the corridor…
Flitwick would suddenly duck behind a pillar, shaking with suppressed laughter.
One time Moody caught him.
Moody: "Are you HIDING?"
Flitwick: "N-No! Of course n—snrk—no— pffft—"
He collapsed into giggles so hard he needed to sit down.
Professor Snape
Snape never laughed.
Snape NEVER laughed.
But after the Pig Incident?
He had developed a new hobby:
walking past Ron, Moody, and Draco just to raise one eyebrow.
A slow.Deadly.Mocking.Eyebrow.
And then he would whisper:
"…Disgusting."
And walk away.
It shattered them every time.
Dumbledore
Dumbledore tried to be supportive.
He tried to be dignified.
He tried to be wise.
But when he passed Ron and Moody in the corridor…
He chuckled softly into his beard.
And whispered:
"Ah, memories…"
And left them trembling.
Hooch, Sprout, and Vector
They formed an unofficial group called:
"The Pig Society."
They met once a week to laugh about the incident.
They had nicknames:
"Pig-Moody"
"Kissing Ron"
"Traumatized Ferret Boy"
Minerva pretended she disapproved…
…but she always attended the meetings.
Meanwhile… Roy
Roy was reading peacefully in the library.
Hermione: "Ron's been acting strange. Draco too. And Moody keeps avoiding pastries."
Daphne: "Do you know why?"
Roy turned the page.
Calmly.
Smoothly.
Emotionlessly.
"…No idea."
And the girls accepted it completely.
Because Roy looked far too innocent.