Some time had passed. A lot for a child, but it felt rather insignificant to me. My fifth birthday happened and it was awkward for me to sit there and pretend to be ecstatic. I tried to mimic the joy a kid would have, but I don't know if I did a good job.
My mom seemed to be keen enough to pick up that I wasn't really into it. Once again, I had felt horrible. I'm not really the son she wanted, or thought she had. Thinking about it like that, I felt sick to my stomach.
I tried my best to ignore that. It was all I could do to remain sane.
I'm definitely not dreaming. At the very least, I was confident about that now. Everything felt so familiar, yet so foreign. This was indeed my past, but it was so long ago that it felt alarmingly surreal to be living in again.
There were several ideas I came up with as to why this could have possibly happened to me. After defeating Shigaraki, it felt like I was on the cusp of death waiting to pass on to the afterlife. The experience was both blurry and so very clear. What had stood out the most to me during that time was my Quirk.
The thrumming, overbearing power cultivated and unleashed from the confines of One for All. It surged outwards from inside without my calling at all. It was similar to the time I had seen the vestiges and my two fingers had moved on their own to snap myself awake out of Shinso-san's Brainwashing during our match. That same feeling had gotten accelerated beyond anything I could fathom from the addition of Gearshift, which had also spiraled out of control alongside the Quirk.
That wasn't the only thing I felt, though. There was some outside force that had messed with me. It felt familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.
It was those three things... those three in combination working together that could be the solution for why I am here. My mind was so scrambled at the time and I was in so much pain. Maybe I could just be mistaken and all of that was just some hallucination I had.
Maybe I could've just gotten lucky and some God had blessed me with another chance at life. Maybe this was really the afterlife and my soul could spent its time inside fantastical illusions where I could make up for my mistakes.
I didn't know for sure. I'm not sure if I could ever truly know. All I can do at this time was try my very best to do what I thought was the right thing to do. This was the past of my own life, so I knew what all it would entail.
That is what I thought, but things were already becoming different. Not because I was in some alternate timeline, but because my actions kept having a significant impact. I had intended to change things, but not in the way they were developing.
I couldn't tell if these changes were for the best or the worst.
Once the ankle monitor had finally been taken off of me - being replaced by me being critically watched over by those responsible for me - I had gone back to preschool. Like I had predicted, news about me being Quirkless slipped out and I had gotten made fun of for it.
It didn't bother me anywhere near it did the first time, but I obviously wasn't please about being laughed at.
Then it had happened. The exact time when I realized that all people were not created equal.
The time when Kacchan was bullying another kid.
Just like before, I stepped in to stop him. But unlike before, I had beaten him.
His two friends had jumped in after his swift defeat, their light voices shouting in whiny outrage as they charged me for beating their friend. It didn't take much effort for me to drop them, either. I was by no means strong, but my experience was so much superior to theirs that it was easy to dodge and strike back. Along with a matured brain against their underdeveloped ones, they couldn't beat me regardless of their Quirk advantage.
My hope was that afterwards, we could all make up and be true friends. I know the others wouldn't go to UA, and I didn't know if I would be either at this point, but I still preferred an amicable relationship.
That's not what happened.
Instead what happened was that they all told on me afterwards. With bumps and bruises on their bodies, they cried to the teachers and I got in trouble. When I explained what had happened and tried to justify my actions, they refused to believe me.
I guess my past actions of fleeing my home in the dead of night and 'delusional stories' hadn't set me up as a trustworthy kid. When I had namedropped the bullied child I had rescued from the three, the kid denied ever being involved. Without any marks on his body - thanks to me jumping in before they could harm him - they had took his word over mine.
That had irritated me, and I wanted to point a finger and call him out for lying, but then I saw the fear in his eyes. He was just a scared preschooler who didn't know any better. He knew Kacchan was popular and didn't want to get in the same trouble I was in.
Poor kid.
Regardless, I had no solid alibi for why I had beaten up three other students and was now considered a naughty troublemaker. Not only did the adults around me somehow become even more vigilant when watching me, but they also made me exchange classes so I couldn't interact with the ones I beat up anymore.
I was no longer in Kacchan's class. This was a first.
I didn't know how to feel about that. History was certainly off course now, if it wasn't already. I'm not sure what sort of effects this could have, but it looked like I wouldn't be getting very close to Kacchan. At least not at this current point in time. I wouldn't end up being his punching bag, either.
There was a small bit of hope in me that after my humbling of Kacchan that his behavior would change and he would straighten up. One look at his face had dashed that hope completely, as he had shot a dirty smirk my way when we passed each other by once they were moving things out of my cubby to the other classroom.
So even that couldn't go in my favor... huh.
It felt exactly like those times I ran away to save Shigaraki and Touya. I was so helpless and there was nothing I could do but take it. Like in my first lifetime of being endlessly bullied by the peers around me, with no one doing anything to help.
So, so helpless.
"Darn..." At least this time I remembered to watch my mouth. Though, it had been quiet enough that no one could hear it.
I watched from afar as Kacchan and his friends wandered off away from the teacher's sights. He was leading the pack as usual and there was a stick in his hands. I'm pretty sure the time where he had slipped off a log and I tried helping him had already passed by now. The bruises I had left him had healed by this point and he didn't appear to have any others on his tiny legs.
Maybe he didn't slip off this time. Or maybe my memory was just wrong.
In any case, he always used to lead us around like that, so this wasn't an unusual sight. I was trapped under the gaze of my new teacher behind a gate, so I couldn't sneak off to join them even if I wanted to. I doubt they would let me if I asked.
It was cute watching little kids walk around like that, pretending to be tough and brave. Can't believe I used to do that too as a kid...
At least kids could get away with not being judged harshly for that. I remember how self-conscious I felt back in UA after everyone saw how decorated my room was with All Might merchandise. That was freaking embarrassing. They hardly judged me, but I'd stayed awake all night berating myself for looking like a dork.
...But I'd do it again. That's my All Might merch, and I couldn't possibly part with it. Not in that life, or this one. Got to hurry up and tell mom to pick up the limited time All Might candy dispenser that was coming out. I'd missed it the first time and had cried for a week straight.
Never again.